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Any sisters who FIERCELY oppose a husband getting a 2nd wife?

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  • Re: Any sisters who FIERCELY oppose a husband getting a 2nd wife?

    just when i thought this thread had died, it twitches back to life.
    And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

    O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

    JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

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    • Re: Any sisters who FIERCELY oppose a husband getting a 2nd wife?

      Originally posted by Evelyn View Post
      i don't really applaud women for letting their husbands have another wife. i think the whole 4 wives thing is pretty out-dated - ok so during war time when there wasnt enough guys to go around it makes logical sense .. and marrying a widow/ old woman that cannot look after herself does also - but lets face it, in todays day and age most women are more than capable of looking after themselves and guys aren't some uncontrolable unstoppable sex gods :P when i get married i want us to be equals - and u cant really have that on a 4:1 raitio, marriage should be for love guys are also capable of this emotion and so 1 of me is more than enough :) On a less personal more islamic note; although it is permissable for a guy to have 4 wives it is more favourable to have only one x


      • Re: Any sisters who FIERCELY oppose a husband getting a 2nd wife?

        Discuss this prior to getting married to your prospect husband, but dont ban yourself from marriage because of that. Have faith in Allah and make dua to Him. Allah gives no burden to hard to bear. I understand what you mean by becoming more sinful rather than good. I have seen some marriages become somewhat like this because of polygamy, or rather how the polygamy is done. Some women actually become quite weak in their iman after polygamy, polygamy affects everyone differently. Theres a reason why it hasnt been made obligitory. Whether people are in a polygamous marriage or in a monogamous one, it should be something they are all happy with, otherwise it will cause problems.

        Muslims need to stop trying to force or pressure polygamy onto others or force others out of it. Allah has allowed it but not made it compulsory. Stick to the facts.
        If brothers want polygamy then tell your future wives of that intention, dont expect every woman to want it. But there are some that do.
        If sisters dont want polygamy then also tell your future husband of that, so that he understands you before saying I Do.

        Polygamy is not easy. Jealousy aside, the one over exaggerated excuse. Maintaining 2 women is a huge responsibility. Then having children with them. Each persons' situation is different, some women may require more time than others, or she may have responsibilities to her own family,i.e. her mum and siblings. Perhaps she needs to look after them and needs his support.

        The point being that each and every individual has a different circumstance. Polygamy is not compulsory in Islam, but it is allowed and the man doesnt require his 1st wifes permission. But these matters should be discussed prior to marriage, thus avoid any surprises.
        Allah is compassionate and He loves compassion in all things. [Hadith]