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why hatin on the white guys?

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  • ,, -alwaysbeme!
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Jazakumallah kheir.
    But you guys seem to be missing what I am saying.
    What I am saying is that by 'resigning myself' I'm not so much 'giving up' as I am just letting my life go a little bit. In this way I can focus on other things, at least for the moment and find my contentment in single life, as Allahu alim I have no idea how long it wil continue for.

    That said, I've always been quite an independant person. In my family, my parents were both VERY career oreinted people to the point they had little time for us, it was me who became kind of like the care taker at a very young age and in turn became very independant alhamdulillah. I just grew up very fast.
    Right now, I'm pretty much alone - well, I have friends and family...But you understand me, yeah?
    Coming home to no one and pretty much nothing is kind of weird after so long of holding the reigns and being felt 'needed' by other people.
    It's been like this for a while, and I'm having a very hard time adjusting to feeling somewhat 'arbitrary' for lack of a better term, and admit, have been for a while in a bit of a 'why bother' frame of mind when it comes to being that person, even for myself.

    Yes, I'm in my very early 20's and admit, it's very young, and have followed my parents to a degree with being career based, but not entirely alhamdulillah. I never want to be like that, or put my child in that position.
    I hear of brothers, 40 or over, still single and not coping so well. I put myself in their shoes, and I know it's a long way away and drive myself nuts with 'what ifs' as in 'what if this continues for that long?'

    I really do apologise if my posst show a distrust, for it's not the case at all. I'm just my own worst enemy, and apologise that these threads are like an outlet for me. But yes, I am entirely owed the blame, I agree with that.
    Last edited by ,, -alwaysbeme!; 27-07-10, 04:30 AM.

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  • uncle umar
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    i agree with the sister. life is a test and people are gonna hate you no matter who you are. its best to have sabr and be thankfull to Allah for what you have. cause if your not thankfull now, you wont be thankfull later.

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  • Pippin1376
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    I apologize if you are offended, but you missed my point. We all have problems when it comes to the marriage front and your experiences are different from my own and mine is different from others. However, just because we are sufferin hardships doesn't mean that we should give up hope in Allah. Allah onl tests us to what we are capable of handling and He knows that you can handle this and become stronger through it. When it is your time to get marries you will and no one will stop it. I don't care if you complain about your experiences, or show frustration and I don't care what you do about it. But if you give up you are showing Allah that you can't handle this and have lost your patience and trust towards Him. You may not feel this way you may not even believe it, but you posts convey that message and I personally don't like it. We all have problem, but when you give up you put yourself in a dangerous mindset that could lead you to fitna. Don't lose hope, make du'a and keep trying if you really want to get married. I'm sure that you'll find yourself a good wife, but be positive when it comes to your du'as. Allah answers du'a so know that it is only a matter of time before a wife pops up for you.

    May Allah help you with your hardships. Ameen.

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  • afrasayab
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    21 eh. I would suggest you invest few more years into yourself and stabilize yourself first. Quite frankly men are usually not mature at this age usually. Flame away...

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  • ,, -alwaysbeme!
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post
    you're 21 bro! be patient, you're young, our Prophet :saw: married at 25.
    JazakiAllah kheir sister for the reminder. :)

    Originally posted by Pippin1376 View Post
    Then I suppose I shall join you in resigning myself to never getting married. I mean, you're a white revert and no one wants you. I'm a female past 18, it's hard for me to find someone too. But oh well, right? No point in worrying about the future, no one would marry an oldy mouldy like myself.
    Forget it. Seriously!
    I'm talking from my own experiences and the way my own life is going and furthermore from my own life style.
    Not yours, not anyone elses.

    I really have learned it's not right to compare your life to anyone elses, because they never will quite match up. We all live differently, no matter what.
    When I say 'resigned myself' I mean I've 'found solace in...' not aiming to high for the immediate future, given the last few years and what I've been experiencing - again, something you simply don't know nor can relate to.

    So before people start lecturing me of my thoughts, feelings or posts, just keep in mind that everything I write is from MY perspective, not yours, not anyone else's.

    Walk a mile in my shoes, before you're so belittling.
    This, however, is address to more than just you, Sr. Pippin.

    In closing, I know what's going on, I know where I'm at on a physical wavelegnth, mental wavelegnth and maturity based wavelegnth. You don't.
    Last edited by ,, -alwaysbeme!; 27-07-10, 02:43 AM.

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  • tayyiboon
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by Pippin1376 View Post
    Then I suppose I shall join you in resigning myself to never getting married. I mean, you're a white revert and no one wants you. I'm a female past 18, it's hard for me to find someone too. But oh well, right? No point in worrying about the future, no one would marry an oldy mouldy like myself.
    lol

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  • Pippin1376
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by uncle umar View Post
    your a sister?

    i was under the assumption that you were a brother?

    im sorry pippin.
    I grew up in a household of boys, so maybe their manly ways rubbed off on me giving me a manish persona. :D

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  • uncle umar
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    your a sister?

    i was under the assumption that you were a brother?

    im sorry pippin.

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  • Pippin1376
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by ,, -alwaysbeme! View Post
    I don't see how I'm losing a thing by expressing my anger towards a CLEAR injustice. At all.

    See, this is why I said I've 'resigned myself' - I'm so much happier just not thinking about how people seem to want to make me feel inferior.
    Then I suppose I shall join you in resigning myself to never getting married. I mean, you're a white revert and no one wants you. I'm a female past 18, it's hard for me to find someone too. But oh well, right? No point in worrying about the future, no one would marry an oldy mouldy like myself.

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  • 1MuslimByChoice
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by Pippin1376 View Post
    You can say that about everyone though. Being a Muslim doesn't mean you have a great family that will not hate you. :S As long as they accept Islam that is what ultimately matters. After that, compatibility and personality and all that other stuff comes after.
    Exactly! I think when we all enter Islam not everyone approves even those of us whose family say 'La ilaha illa Allah' on their tongues. We are all in the same boat i can say and it differs. When some of us start practicing Islam not everyone likes it and some us are looked at as weird and get abandoned etc.

    You practice Islam for Allah Swt and in these times it is difficult and i have come to understand the hadith where people will say 'i used to hear so-an-so say Allah etc' and this could be pertaining to those Jahil Muslims.

    But then when you do recognise Islam and become a Muslim you ultimately become A STRANGER
    May Allah Swt unite the strangers together and make us of them ameeeeen

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  • LailaTheMuslim
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by ,, -alwaysbeme! View Post
    JazakiAllahu kheyran.
    But as I said, I've resigned myself...I'd rather focus on bettering myself and my career than get caught up with ANY family...Any family, no matter what the sisters parents will say, will have members that dislike me before they know me. That's simply the law of averages.

    I want little to nothing to do with a database or internet based connections. Not my style at all, and I have trust issues, noticed?
    you're 21 bro! be patient, you're young, our Prophet :saw: married at 25.

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  • LailaTheMuslim
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by uncle umar View Post
    nothing. actualy IMO they are better cause they know what they want and know what to expoect.

    somone with no experience is gonna go though all the phases and its gonna have the weird phase cause of the contrast.

    just alot easier in terms of life goals to marry a widdow or divorcee.

    but however this whole thread was based off sarcasim and i was more hoping that people would catch onto that and not take me seriously.
    i always thought all reverts (male and female) were popular? as in people prefer them to their own culture because of the lack of cultural baggage, no joke, but if I was a bit older I wouldn't mind marrying you.

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  • ,, -alwaysbeme!
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by carol_au View Post
    But see sis.. I have never seen that issue amongst the many sisters and brothers I know here.. multicultural marriage is the norm for many.. infact today I don't think I was with one family where husband and wife were from the same cultural mix... and this includes white revert brothers married to muslim sisters from many nations.. including Somalia, Lebanon, Indonesia and the Phillipines, Pakistan and Eritrea.. just to name a few. and all of them are in their twenties and early thirties.. so a lot of years younger than me..

    anyway.. I"m not going to contribute to the thread any more.. I am totally blessed by the most amazing sisters and brothers from so many cultures, castes, reverts or otherwise mashaAllah .. and I will appreciate this blessing and ask Allah sWT to multiply it to others and keep our unique love and unity here strong by His mercy ameen.
    But see Carol, I've ONLY seen this issue in our community.
    Just because you've never seen it, doesn't mean it's not there.
    Alhamdulillah, you are very blessed! :)

    But just because you are, doesn't mean we all are.

    JazakhAllah kheir for your replies. All of you. :)

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  • afrasayab
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Brother don't lose hope Inshallah Allah will make it easy for you. This is all just a test from Allah. Here is another example even when the economy is booming some ppl stay jobless yet others find jobs easily when there is a recession... why? Only Allah knows. Bottom line is different ppl will have different experiences. I have seen revert brothers with born muslim women so there is hope ;)
    Should I start complaining that many non asian muslim parents don't like their kids to marry asians? Or even some reverts prefer arabs over asians as they seem more 'athentic' muslims?

    I do realize there is injustice, there is double standard but life is like that. In the end if Allah wills something then that will happen no matter if the odds are 99.9% against it.

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  • .Hajar.
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    you know..those brothers and sisters who don't have access to healthy, practicing muslim gatherings in real life can inshaAllah try finding some good muslim communities online, as absurd as it may sound but sometimes the internet can be a blessing in disguise..

    p.s.- yep asiya

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