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  • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by Bint-Al-Islam View Post
    Salaam thread starter


    your funny. you made me laugh more than once whilst reading your posts. :rotfl:

    but sad at the same time.

    lot of what you wrote are true.

    i have very harsh veiws of reverts. but thats because of what i have seen.

    but remember Allah tests everyone/anyone, so this might be your test. i hope you pass with flying colours. :up:
    Why would you have a "harsh view" of reverts? we voluntarily entered Islam and made a lot of sacrifices for Allah in regards to hardships with family, society,etc...
    Fabi-ayyiala -i rabbikuma tukaththibani
    Then which of the favors of your Lord will ye deny?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr8DR8frP_s

    You are not here just to fill space or to be a background character in someone else's movie. Consider this: nothing would be the same if you did not exist. Every place you have ever been and everyone you have ever spoken to would be different without you. We are all connected, and we are all affected by the decisions and even the existence of those around us.

    Comment


    • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

      Firstly, a harsh view of reverts is more common than people admit, and why it's so hard for a revert to marry.
      Even reverts I know have a harsh view of reverts once they've adapted culturally into their spouses family...

      Muqarrib: My apologies, brother for calling you a sister...

      Comment


      • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

        I think one of the reasons why ppl are more careful about reverts is that if you are a born muslim then being muslim becomes your identity and ppl expect you to stay muslim, don't matter if you practice it or not. However with reverts ppl always fear that they chose islam based on their logical, rational understanding and it could be that later on for some reason, a tragedy, test, or through influence they could revert back to their old ways and even leave islam. Many of the reverts have families who are non muslims, even hate muslims so if something goes wrong there is nothing to fall back on, no support. I think it is a tougher decision for parents specially who are from a strong cultural background where you don' marry just the girl or the boy but in a sense the whole family.

        I have nothing against reverts, and personally i would marry a revert provided she has the qualities that i am looking for coz I am not deep in my culture. However if my daughter wants to marry a revert i think naturally i'll be more careful, because for the most part i won't be able to check out his family and say that he is from a good family... etc etc. I'll prob have to spend more time with him to find out he is what he says he is and that he won't breakdown if the going gets tough and revert back to his old ways.

        It is like buying a used car, if you know the previous owner and the history of the car then it will make it easier to make a decision but if you have no idea who the previous owner is you would be more careful, probably test drive it more, show it to a machenic... lol
        Please pray for my health. Jazak Allah

        I found the enemy and it is me.

        Comment


        • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

          You can say that about everyone though. Being a Muslim doesn't mean you have a great family that will not hate you. :S As long as they accept Islam that is what ultimately matters. After that, compatibility and personality and all that other stuff comes after.
          مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً وَاللّهُ يَقْبِضُ وَيَبْسُطُ وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجَعُونَ

          "Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful loan, which Allah will double unto his credit and multiply many times?
          It is Allah that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return."
          Surah al-Baqarah
          [2:245]

          .:.
          .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
          Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

          .:.
          ...said the spider to the fly...

          Comment


          • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

            Originally posted by afrasayab View Post
            I think one of the reasons why ppl are more careful about reverts is that if you are a born muslim then being muslim becomes your identity and ppl expect you to stay muslim, don't matter if you practice it or not. However with reverts ppl always fear that they chose islam based on their logical, rational understanding and it could be that later on for some reason, a tragedy, test, or through influence they could revert back to their old ways and even leave islam. Many of the reverts have families who are non muslims, even hate muslims so if something goes wrong there is nothing to fall back on, no support. I think it is a tougher decision for parents specially who are from a strong cultural background where you don' marry just the girl or the boy but in a sense the whole family.

            I have nothing against reverts, and personally i would marry a revert provided she has the qualities that i am looking for coz I am not deep in my culture. However if my daughter wants to marry a revert i think naturally i'll be more careful, because for the most part i won't be able to check out his family and say that he is from a good family... etc etc. I'll prob have to spend more time with him to find out he is what he says he is and that he won't breakdown if the going gets tough and revert back to his old ways.

            It is like buying a used car, if you know the previous owner and the history of the car then it will make it easier to make a decision but if you have no idea who the previous owner is you would be more careful, probably test drive it more, show it to a machenic... lol
            How lovely. :)
            All this talk about brotherhood/sisterhood and dodging the subject and someone FINALLY admits it.

            Reverts are doubted, and underestimated, our emaan is questioned constantly.
            People are way more cautious about us, but will never say so outloud.
            People act like our best friends, and then judge us more heavily than they would anyone else when we act through ignorance or make a slight mistake.

            Screw that, and everyone with that attitude. Honestly!! It may SHOCK you, but Muslim IS my identity, brother! It may shock you, but Islam IS my way of life. It may shock you, but I've already roughed more tests when it comes to coming to Islam that born Muslims have no idea even exist for reverts.

            So, whatever. I hope you understand why that post makes me so mad...Not to mention that PREVALENT and IGNORANT attitude in our community.

            May Allah SWT stregnthen us as an Ummah AND FINALLY unite us. Ameeeeeeeen!!

            I'm beginning to wonder why I ever bothered with the community...

            Oh, and if we're so comparible to cars...Why even bother speaking to us? I mean, you don't know where we've been...
            Last edited by ,, -alwaysbeme!; 25-07-10, 04:50 AM.

            Comment


            • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

              Brother, I think it's unfair that you took the repsonse of one person and make it seem like this is the norm. In my area, revert, someone born to muslim parents, it doesn't matter. As long as you're muslim, you'll find someone who will want to get you married and you married off.

              If you have this kind of attitude, then you're purposely setting yourself up for failure and that isn't anyones fault but your own. Sister carol has mentioned that she can help you, so if you would like to get married please speak with her. It may be hard getting married, nowadays, but with every hardship comes ease, right? Allah doesn't open one door for you when you're faced with something tough, He hopes two. But it's up to you to have the willpower to keep going and the trust in Him to know that whatever happens happense for a reason.

              May Allah help you with your hardships and bless you with a pious wife. Ameen.
              مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً وَاللّهُ يَقْبِضُ وَيَبْسُطُ وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجَعُونَ

              "Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful loan, which Allah will double unto his credit and multiply many times?
              It is Allah that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return."
              Surah al-Baqarah
              [2:245]

              .:.
              .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
              Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

              .:.
              ...said the spider to the fly...

              Comment


              • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                i would have to agree actually with alwaysbeme on this one as with my short experience as a revert ive come to the conclusion that im not (apparently) worth as much as a born muslim.

                however im not cynical about it. i really dont care actually.

                like, they think i dont understand urdu lol....but i know when they arre calling me a kaffir behind my back, questioning my eeman, saying that their daughters dont belong with my kind, and other things.


                its nice to hear the truth once in a while though. at least im a car now. thats a step up.
                And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

                O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

                JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

                sponsor an orphan

                Comment


                • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                  Originally posted by uncle umar View Post
                  i would have to agree actually with alwaysbeme on this one as with my short experience as a revert ive come to the conclusion that im not (apparently) worth as much as a born muslim.
                  You're looking at the wrong places then. If someone makes you feel like that, then it isn't your fault and you shouldn't let them get to you. Not everyone in the world will like you and some people will put you down, but if you always keep those experiences and not think of the good then you'll always feel like crap and a victim. Be positive and good things will happen.
                  مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً وَاللّهُ يَقْبِضُ وَيَبْسُطُ وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجَعُونَ

                  "Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful loan, which Allah will double unto his credit and multiply many times?
                  It is Allah that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return."
                  Surah al-Baqarah
                  [2:245]

                  .:.
                  .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
                  Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

                  .:.
                  ...said the spider to the fly...

                  Comment


                  • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                    lol i know that they wont like me i dont expect that lol. i was just stating my view is all.

                    Allah will bring me to whoever he wills for me, and i have to make the best out of that for his sake.

                    also, im not a victem of anything. words are words. cant do anything about that, except have good sabr and dua.
                    And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

                    O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

                    JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

                    sponsor an orphan

                    Comment


                    • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                      Originally posted by sunrise View Post
                      for sure from marriage to chocolate to nuts and now racists!

                      People its jummah allow the bickering please fe sabil illah!
                      Originally posted by uncle umar View Post
                      i would have to agree actually with alwaysbeme on this one as with my short experience as a revert ive come to the conclusion that im not (apparently) worth as much as a born muslim.

                      however im not cynical about it. i really dont care actually.

                      like, they think i dont understand urdu lol....but i know when they arre calling me a kaffir behind my back, questioning my eeman, saying that their daughters dont belong with my kind, and other things.


                      its nice to hear the truth once in a while though. at least im a car now. thats a step up.
                      where do u brothers live?:scratch:

                      where i live, reverts arent treated any different then born muslims, they are apart of the community and marry whoever they like, ive got loads of friends who are married to reverts and their families never had a problem with it mashallah

                      so if ur area is like this then move to a better area
                      ‎"when she is a daughter, she opens a door of jannah for her father. when she is a wife, she completes half of the deen of her husband. when she is a mother, Jannah lies under her feet. If everyone knew the status of a muslim women in islam, even men would want to be women." Sheikh Akram Nadawi

                      Comment


                      • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                        ya plannin on moving inshallah.
                        And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

                        O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

                        JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

                        sponsor an orphan

                        Comment


                        • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                          Originally posted by uncle umar View Post
                          ya plannin on moving inshallah.
                          ur in canada tho right? y dont u move to toronto? its wayy better here alhamdulillah
                          ‎"when she is a daughter, she opens a door of jannah for her father. when she is a wife, she completes half of the deen of her husband. when she is a mother, Jannah lies under her feet. If everyone knew the status of a muslim women in islam, even men would want to be women." Sheikh Akram Nadawi

                          Comment


                          • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                            Pippin, I've alreasy expressed my misgivings, so can we please drop it? I'm very grateful the offer has been extended - but it's not something that sits well with me.
                            I've NEVER been okay with meeting people online, if that's my only option and I'm closing the door, then so be it. I mean, why should it be my only option, am I not a Muslim like everyone else here? I know myself well enough to know I'm ready for marriage, I'm also aware enough of my surroundings to know why no one thinks I'm worthy. Oh well, I'll deal with that inshaAllah! My point being is, why should it be my only option, as I am a Muslim - just like every other married/engaged brother who didn't rely on internet connections to get married?
                            Bottom line: I shouldn't have to take huge risks and be thrown out of my comfort zone to fulfill a desire that at the end of the day is my right to try and fulfill when I am able and ready to!!!!

                            Got it?
                            I hope so.
                            I'm sick of repeating that!!

                            Umar, we are one in the same with our situations. May Allah SWT make it easy for you. Ameen.

                            Pippin, tell us the right places, then? Cause if it's not the Masjid, or people we've met there - then where is it? Are we missing out on some kind of secret meeting or information nights or something? Ya Allah, stop saying we're going about things the wrong way when you have no idea where we've looked or what we've been told!
                            It's very frustrating.
                            In closing to this paragraph, if the community is the wrong place - where is the right place? I'm seriously dying to know.

                            Safiyyah, Melbourne Australia...In my experience, because I'm not willing to become or act cultural like something I simply am not, or kiss anyone's ***, I'm below their feet.

                            Comment


                            • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                              Originally posted by ,, -alwaysbeme! View Post
                              How lovely. :)
                              All this talk about brotherhood/sisterhood and dodging the subject and someone FINALLY admits it.

                              Reverts are doubted, and underestimated, our emaan is questioned constantly.
                              People are way more cautious about us, but will never say so outloud.
                              People act like our best friends, and then judge us more heavily than they would anyone else when we act through ignorance or make a slight mistake.

                              Screw that, and everyone with that attitude. Honestly!! It may SHOCK you, but Muslim IS my identity, brother! It may shock you, but Islam IS my way of life. It may shock you, but I've already roughed more tests when it comes to coming to Islam that born Muslims have no idea even exist for reverts.

                              So, whatever. I hope you understand why that post makes me so mad...Not to mention that PREVALENT and IGNORANT attitude in our community.

                              May Allah SWT stregnthen us as an Ummah AND FINALLY unite us. Ameeeeeeeen!!

                              I'm beginning to wonder why I ever bothered with the community...

                              Oh, and if we're so comparible to cars...Why even bother speaking to us? I mean, you don't know where we've been...
                              Calm down dude, you are not giving a favour yourself by acting like this. I maybe being devil's advocate but i am simply presenting a reason for why reverts especially male have harder time marrying. It is the parents right to know the person who their daughter is going to marry, and as i said before it becomes more challenging for them if they don't know your family or don't know you out side of the masjid, even if they don't have any other issues with you being a revert. Hence, the example of a car without history... btw i said USED car ;)

                              I would prob get the same treatment if i ask an arab parent for their daughters hand because they don't know my culture or my family. Although personally i have met some really nice ppl....

                              Most of the time truth is bitter...
                              Please pray for my health. Jazak Allah

                              I found the enemy and it is me.

                              Comment


                              • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                                I don't see how I'm losing a thing by expressing my anger towards a CLEAR injustice. At all.

                                See, this is why I said I've 'resigned myself' - I'm so much happier just not thinking about how people seem to want to make me feel inferior.

                                Comment

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