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why hatin on the white guys?

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  • neelu
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    I think I'd prefer to marry a convert as long as he has the qualities I look for in a husband and alhamdullilah my family are cool with that. I'm sure I'm not the only one in this position (though admittedly it's relatively rare for 'born' Muslims to have cool parents when it comes to this), but when such sisters are looking for rishtas... most of us don't know where the revert brothers are hiding. Where I live I don't know any unmarried revert brothers. You know what I think one of the problems might be? I think people who do match making or know reverts are often reluctant or wary of even suggesting a revert brother for me, especially if the matchmakers had a very cultural upbringing themselves (I'm talking about before my illness hit so my illness wasn't a factor in this). There's a presumption that my family wouldn't approve and they'd end up in trouble for even suggesting it. A few years back I knew a group of brothers in the Midlands who knew a pious revert brother in their group of friends and over the course of about 4 years, I heard about 5 or 6 different people mention him but only ONE took the step of exchanging our contact details and even that was after asking me over and over again about 5 times "are you sure your parents will be okay with this?" and I had to reassure him constantly that it would be fine and I've already told my dad about this. Edit: I just realised this thread is about white reverts and my situation was regarding contact with a black revert but I still think the same issues are applicable.

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  • Zesty
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Uncle umar- we gots to find you a wife dude

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  • Zoya09
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by uncle umar View Post
    nobody pinched me. i just find it funny white sisters get taken like the second they say shahadah while us white guys are like "hey ppl, we exist too you know"
    I wouldn't mind marrying a white revert. You guys need to stop hiding from our dads and brothers and ask for our hand in marriage. :p

    Leave a comment:


  • uncle umar
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by uncle umar View Post
    nothing. actualy IMO they are better cause they know what they want and know what to expoect.

    somone with no experience is gonna go though all the phases and its gonna have the weird phase cause of the contrast.

    just alot easier in terms of life goals to marry a widdow or divorcee.

    but however this whole thread was based off sarcasim and i was more hoping that people would catch onto that and not take me seriously.
    blah

    Leave a comment:


  • *asiya*
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by uncle umar View Post
    i just find it funny white sisters get taken like the second they say shahadah
    ummah myth no.1

    Originally posted by AHMED BHAI View Post
    true..

    everyone wants to marry a revert sister
    ummah myth no.2

    Originally posted by AHMED BHAI View Post
    and its fair to say,after a certain age youre choices are limited
    ummah myth number 3

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  • ahmeduk
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Some are the white brothers that I know are the most pious and are undertaking an aalim course.
    More should be done to help our white Muslim brothers with regards to finding marriage partners tho.

    Leave a comment:


  • samin62
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by taqwa435 View Post
    brothers are just as fussy, you dont even want to know the amount of stupid profiles i have been forwarded over the years. yet these are 'practicing' brothers
    with fist length beards with such absurd criteria s
    That is why you don't know what someone is like until you talk to em and ask questions and find out what his/her peers say about him/her.

    Leave a comment:


  • taqwa435
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by AbuQudamah View Post
    My friend and his wife are in the marriage business where they try and hook brothers and sisters up and he tells me some sisters aren't even shy about what they want: "I want a light-skinned/white brother!".

    heh Masha'Allah good on them!

    Just a small naseeha ahki, be very aware of carrying this negative energy and mindset around as it is very palpable to others and will make sisters run a mile (with their abaayas firmly tucked in, of course). Sisters wish to marry to complete their deen, raise a few cuties and, very importantly, increase them in happiness. As perfect as a candidate you may be, so long as you're carrying this negativity you will fail to fulfill them in the latter regard: increasing them in happiness.

    Insha'Allah endeavour to be happy with your current situation and know that everything has been decreed for you and you will marry when your Lord says so. You cannot bring forward or postpone anything that has already been divinely decreed. But what you can do insha'Allah is tie your camel very tight and put the necessary steps or procedures in place to help you achieve your goal - for example befriending some married brothers as their wives most certainly knows at least 1 single muslimah looking to marry. When the Prophet (PBUH) engaged in battle he didn't rely solely on Allah's protection and victory...he (PBUH) mobilised a strong group of companions, wore body armour etc. THEN relied on Allah Jalla wa'ala. There is beautiful wisdom in this subhaanullah.

    All the best ahki

    AQ
    brothers are just as fussy, you dont even want to know the amount of stupid profiles i have been forwarded over the years. yet these are 'practicing' brothers
    with fist length beards with such absurd criteria s

    Leave a comment:


  • AbuQudamah
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    My friend and his wife are in the marriage business where they try and hook brothers and sisters up and he tells me some sisters aren't even shy about what they want: "I want a light-skinned/white brother!".

    heh Masha'Allah good on them!

    Just a small naseeha ahki, be very aware of carrying this negative energy and mindset around as it is very palpable to others and will make sisters run a mile (with their abaayas firmly tucked in, of course). Sisters wish to marry to complete their deen, raise a few cuties and, very importantly, increase them in happiness. As perfect as a candidate you may be, so long as you're carrying this negativity you will fail to fulfill them in the latter regard: increasing them in happiness.

    Insha'Allah endeavour to be happy with your current situation and know that everything has been decreed for you and you will marry when your Lord says so. You cannot bring forward or postpone anything that has already been divinely decreed. But what you can do insha'Allah is tie your camel very tight and put the necessary steps or procedures in place to help you achieve your goal - for example befriending some married brothers as their wives most certainly knows at least 1 single muslimah looking to marry. When the Prophet (PBUH) engaged in battle he didn't rely solely on Allah's protection and victory...he (PBUH) mobilised a strong group of companions, wore body armour etc. THEN relied on Allah Jalla wa'ala. There is beautiful wisdom in this subhaanullah.

    All the best ahki

    AQ

    Leave a comment:


  • NoLa
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    You know how people try to brighten their skin with whitening creams, you should go to the tanning bed or get that special tanning lotion. You shall shine like copper! Nooo, don't do that. Sun tanning can lead to skin cancer, blah..

    Insha'Allah you will find someone, like many people said you aren't looking in the right places.

    Leave a comment:


  • zdc
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by AHMED BHAI View Post
    there is a massive void between islam and muslims

    unfortunately the superiority complex of born muslims has led us to be disgraced in the world
    100% spot on.

    Leave a comment:


  • -Jibril-
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Cause you aint got a natural tan

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  • AHMED BHAI
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    and its fair to say,after a certain age youre choices are limited

    Leave a comment:


  • sunrise
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by nousername View Post
    Because women are supposed to and usually marry only marry with the approval of her wali and it's usually the wali that says "no" to white guys. Men don't have to worry about the wali so they can ask who they want including white girls
    This is true.

    yeah i guess we reverts can be way out of touch with reality. its like were spacers or somthing flying off to pluto.

    but is it actually flying in space or floating? or being sucked, cause space is a giant vaccume right?

    man, the universe is so cool.

    k so back on earth basicly the best chance i got is to basicly marry a widdow or divorcee.

    awesome.

    Not necessarily, not everyone is cultural. Sorry to say usually asians are very cultural and don't allow their daughters to marry out. In Canada there are loads of Arabs and Somalis etc you should have more success with them insh'Allah. Widen your search don't just limit it to your city, look in other cities or even countries if you want.

    Leave a comment:


  • uncle umar
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    nothing. actualy IMO they are better cause they know what they want and know what to expoect.

    somone with no experience is gonna go though all the phases and its gonna have the weird phase cause of the contrast.

    just alot easier in terms of life goals to marry a widdow or divorcee.

    but however this whole thread was based off sarcasim and i was more hoping that people would catch onto that and not take me seriously.

    Leave a comment:

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