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why hatin on the white guys?

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  • Pippin1376
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Brother, I think it's unfair that you took the repsonse of one person and make it seem like this is the norm. In my area, revert, someone born to muslim parents, it doesn't matter. As long as you're muslim, you'll find someone who will want to get you married and you married off.

    If you have this kind of attitude, then you're purposely setting yourself up for failure and that isn't anyones fault but your own. Sister carol has mentioned that she can help you, so if you would like to get married please speak with her. It may be hard getting married, nowadays, but with every hardship comes ease, right? Allah doesn't open one door for you when you're faced with something tough, He hopes two. But it's up to you to have the willpower to keep going and the trust in Him to know that whatever happens happense for a reason.

    May Allah help you with your hardships and bless you with a pious wife. Ameen.

    Leave a comment:


  • ,, -alwaysbeme!
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by afrasayab View Post
    I think one of the reasons why ppl are more careful about reverts is that if you are a born muslim then being muslim becomes your identity and ppl expect you to stay muslim, don't matter if you practice it or not. However with reverts ppl always fear that they chose islam based on their logical, rational understanding and it could be that later on for some reason, a tragedy, test, or through influence they could revert back to their old ways and even leave islam. Many of the reverts have families who are non muslims, even hate muslims so if something goes wrong there is nothing to fall back on, no support. I think it is a tougher decision for parents specially who are from a strong cultural background where you don' marry just the girl or the boy but in a sense the whole family.

    I have nothing against reverts, and personally i would marry a revert provided she has the qualities that i am looking for coz I am not deep in my culture. However if my daughter wants to marry a revert i think naturally i'll be more careful, because for the most part i won't be able to check out his family and say that he is from a good family... etc etc. I'll prob have to spend more time with him to find out he is what he says he is and that he won't breakdown if the going gets tough and revert back to his old ways.

    It is like buying a used car, if you know the previous owner and the history of the car then it will make it easier to make a decision but if you have no idea who the previous owner is you would be more careful, probably test drive it more, show it to a machenic... lol
    How lovely. :)
    All this talk about brotherhood/sisterhood and dodging the subject and someone FINALLY admits it.

    Reverts are doubted, and underestimated, our emaan is questioned constantly.
    People are way more cautious about us, but will never say so outloud.
    People act like our best friends, and then judge us more heavily than they would anyone else when we act through ignorance or make a slight mistake.

    Screw that, and everyone with that attitude. Honestly!! It may SHOCK you, but Muslim IS my identity, brother! It may shock you, but Islam IS my way of life. It may shock you, but I've already roughed more tests when it comes to coming to Islam that born Muslims have no idea even exist for reverts.

    So, whatever. I hope you understand why that post makes me so mad...Not to mention that PREVALENT and IGNORANT attitude in our community.

    May Allah SWT stregnthen us as an Ummah AND FINALLY unite us. Ameeeeeeeen!!

    I'm beginning to wonder why I ever bothered with the community...

    Oh, and if we're so comparible to cars...Why even bother speaking to us? I mean, you don't know where we've been...
    Last edited by ,, -alwaysbeme!; 25-07-10, 04:50 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Pippin1376
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    You can say that about everyone though. Being a Muslim doesn't mean you have a great family that will not hate you. :S As long as they accept Islam that is what ultimately matters. After that, compatibility and personality and all that other stuff comes after.

    Leave a comment:


  • afrasayab
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    I think one of the reasons why ppl are more careful about reverts is that if you are a born muslim then being muslim becomes your identity and ppl expect you to stay muslim, don't matter if you practice it or not. However with reverts ppl always fear that they chose islam based on their logical, rational understanding and it could be that later on for some reason, a tragedy, test, or through influence they could revert back to their old ways and even leave islam. Many of the reverts have families who are non muslims, even hate muslims so if something goes wrong there is nothing to fall back on, no support. I think it is a tougher decision for parents specially who are from a strong cultural background where you don' marry just the girl or the boy but in a sense the whole family.

    I have nothing against reverts, and personally i would marry a revert provided she has the qualities that i am looking for coz I am not deep in my culture. However if my daughter wants to marry a revert i think naturally i'll be more careful, because for the most part i won't be able to check out his family and say that he is from a good family... etc etc. I'll prob have to spend more time with him to find out he is what he says he is and that he won't breakdown if the going gets tough and revert back to his old ways.

    It is like buying a used car, if you know the previous owner and the history of the car then it will make it easier to make a decision but if you have no idea who the previous owner is you would be more careful, probably test drive it more, show it to a machenic... lol

    Leave a comment:


  • ,, -alwaysbeme!
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Firstly, a harsh view of reverts is more common than people admit, and why it's so hard for a revert to marry.
    Even reverts I know have a harsh view of reverts once they've adapted culturally into their spouses family...

    Muqarrib: My apologies, brother for calling you a sister...

    Leave a comment:


  • nousername
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by Bint-Al-Islam View Post
    Salaam thread starter


    your funny. you made me laugh more than once whilst reading your posts. :rotfl:

    but sad at the same time.

    lot of what you wrote are true.

    i have very harsh veiws of reverts. but thats because of what i have seen.

    but remember Allah tests everyone/anyone, so this might be your test. i hope you pass with flying colours. :up:
    Why would you have a "harsh view" of reverts? we voluntarily entered Islam and made a lot of sacrifices for Allah in regards to hardships with family, society,etc...

    Leave a comment:


  • Bint-Al-Islam
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Salaam thread starter


    your funny. you made me laugh more than once whilst reading your posts. :rotfl:

    but sad at the same time.

    lot of what you wrote are true.

    i have very harsh veiws of reverts. but thats because of what i have seen.

    but remember Allah tests everyone/anyone, so this might be your test. i hope you pass with flying colours. :up:

    Leave a comment:


  • islam4u2
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by aG123 View Post
    Brv reply to my PM.
    take it up with spam mod 1

    jzk

    Leave a comment:


  • aG123
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by islam4u2 View Post
    even i passed on links to aussie forums for him to go and enquire, if he wants to moan so be it because people have offered him help. Ever heard the saying you tie your cammel and have trust in Allah (Swt). Well this is the case, he should take carol_au's advise and have trust in Allah (swt) to lead him to get married. Allah (swt) is creating avenues for him, but he keeps closing the foor. Tawaqal shows true eeman. Moaners are gonna moan.
    Brv reply to my PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Muqarrib
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    @ alwaysbeme,

    No one is forcing you into something you are not comfortable with. You have to do what you think its best for you & obviously do what you are comfortable with.

    I dont trust people easily also - I carefully look at a person & judge them before I decide whether to trust them or not. And Alhamdulillah, Allah has given me a good ability to judge people and havent had anyone stab me in the back.

    You are not comfortable with internet - thats fine. But I would like to point out that most of us that come on this Islamic forum, is because we are passionate about Islam and want to do all that we can to earn the pleasure of Allah SWT. To get to know similar like-minded people. If we did not have the Taqwa and passion to serve Islam, we would be on other websites - not this.

    We were just trying to give some advice and see if we can help you out in some way. Its hard for you to trust someone, specially with your bad experience - I completely understand that & why you feel this way. But there are also some genuine people out there.

    Take as much time as you want to get over your past experience, but if someone does come along whom you can trust - put your trust in Allah and take another chance. Dont write everyone off in one stroke and put up your walls. As they say, life is all about taking a chance - sometimes you win & sometimes you lose. But we (as Muslims) always have Allah with us.


    I do empathize with your bad experience and sincerely wish you all the best, in whatever you do. May Allah, Most Gracious make things easy for you. Ameen.

    Hope my advice helped or made sense - am writing this with just 2 hours of sleep.
    Off to bed [email protected])

    Ps: I am a brother, btw.

    Leave a comment:


  • ,, -alwaysbeme!
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Wow. So it seems I need to clarify myself here?
    Look, great I have been offered services. I'm VERY grateful that, and have in fact extended a thank you every time.
    Now I'm being urged to take up offers I'm really not comfortable with? From the beginning I echoed the same thing.
    "I'm not comfortable with meeting people on the internet."
    I'm sorry, I'm just not that trusting person maybe I need to be, which is fine as I've recently said, I have resigned myself to a life of not searching so when it all happens inshaAllah I can be surprised.

    I'm very sure Sr. Carol is a great sister, in fact, I have no doubt.
    But even so, I don't know her. She doesn't know me...In fact, I'm sure very few of us know each others - so why put yourself out there like that?
    It's just not worth it.

    Say I've built high walls around myself, whatever...But I don't buy into what Sr. Muqarrib's theory about Salams building trust. To me, that is lost. In the beginning, yes I definitely had the same stance...But I've had a few too many people say Salam to my face and put a knife in my back just as I got to trust them - or put huge amount of pressures on me, or offer me really fake friendship. I know not everyone's like that, but I really feel my only way to happiness is make people earn my trust. Otherwise, I'm just gonna be messed up time and time again.

    The Ummah, nowadays, are so far from reflecting brother/sisterhood that it's basically become like an inside joke for Muslims.

    Just how I feel.

    I'm sorry, as my intention was not to offend, but I had to vent.

    I re-iterate, I'm VERY POSITIVE what Sr. Carol is offering is legitimate, but so long as there's ANY doubt in someone's mind, why even expect them to go for it?

    I didn't come to the forum with my attitude being 'OMG FIND ME WIFEY COOK GOOD LOL' but more cos I needed somewhere for emotional support because I felt like Muslims I know were kicking me around like a sack of dirt. I got that support.
    I'm very grateful to everyone who has talked to me or put up with me. But with me, what's on the internet, is on the INTERNET. :)

    May Allah SWT reward you all. Ameen.
    Last edited by ,, -alwaysbeme!; 24-07-10, 09:58 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • islam4u2
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by Muqarrib View Post
    @ brother alwaysbeme,

    :salams


    Pls dont get pessimistic & loose hope - no matter how many bad experiences you may have had or meeting the wrong people. Many of us (including myself) have gone years looking for that special someone, only to get disappointed.

    This is a Test from Allah for all of us.

    But have faith in Allah and how He suddenly opens doors of opportunity and brings 2 souls together. And here is sister Carol offering you her help.

    I dont know sister Carol, but sitting here in Toronto, I can trust her to be who she is - a genuine, sincere Muslimah, InshaAllah. She has been a member on this forum for a long time, with over 9000 posts and she seems very active in her community.

    This is the beauty of Islam. That once you say Salaams to me, I know I have nothing to fear from you. This beauty seems lost in todays world, but its STILL there.

    And there are sincere, genuine Muslims who only want to help their fellow brothers & sisters in Islam and want to love each other for the sake of Allah.

    So you can put your trust in Allah and take sister Carol's offer to help or you can seek the help of some other mosques, etc.

    When Allah thinks it best, He will get you married, but you have to keep trying as well. So pls dont loose hope or stop searching.


    I pray Allah, Most Gracious bless you soon with that special someone and grant you both the best in this life & the Hereafter. Ameen.
    even i passed on links to aussie forums for him to go and enquire, if he wants to moan so be it because people have offered him help. Ever heard the saying you tie your cammel and have trust in Allah (Swt). Well this is the case, he should take carol_au's advise and have trust in Allah (swt) to lead him to get married. Allah (swt) is creating avenues for him, but he keeps closing the foor. Tawaqal shows true eeman. Moaners are gonna moan.

    Leave a comment:


  • islam4u2
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    this thread is nothing typical of Ummah forums chit chat (between opp genders).

    Leave a comment:


  • Qalqilya
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    What a nice thread. :1popcorn:

    Who cares about race? It is so last century. :|

    And white chocolate is sophisticated and yummy. Dark and milk are not. :|

    Leave a comment:


  • Muqarrib
    replied
    Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by ,, -alwaysbeme! View Post
    Ameen! JazakiAllah kheir for the du3a. May Allah SWT reward you. :)
    I'm not turning down your help per se, sis. Carol. I'm just quite a cautious person with these things.
    I mean, this is a forum. We're talking online, besides that I really don't know you, or the brother you have in mind. How do I know you are who you say you are?
    It's nothing personal, I'm like this with all online communications.



    Maybe I am finding the wrong crowds of people. But why must it happen again and again and again and again?
    There comes a point where you're sick of it.
    @ brother alwaysbeme,

    :salams


    Pls dont get pessimistic & loose hope - no matter how many bad experiences you may have had or meeting the wrong people. Many of us (including myself) have gone years looking for that special someone, only to get disappointed.

    This is a Test from Allah for all of us.

    But have faith in Allah and how He suddenly opens doors of opportunity and brings 2 souls together. And here is sister Carol offering you her help.

    I dont know sister Carol, but sitting here in Toronto, I can trust her to be who she is - a genuine, sincere Muslimah, InshaAllah. She has been a member on this forum for a long time, with over 9000 posts and she seems very active in her community.

    This is the beauty of Islam. That once you say Salaams to me, I know I have nothing to fear from you. This beauty seems lost in todays world, but its STILL there.

    And there are sincere, genuine Muslims who only want to help their fellow brothers & sisters in Islam and want to love each other for the sake of Allah.

    So you can put your trust in Allah and take sister Carol's offer to help or you can seek the help of some other mosques, etc.

    When Allah thinks it best, He will get you married, but you have to keep trying as well. So pls dont loose hope or stop searching.


    I pray Allah, Most Gracious bless you soon with that special someone and grant you both the best in this life & the Hereafter. Ameen.

    Leave a comment:

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