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why hatin on the white guys?

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  • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by Pippin1376 View Post
    Then I suppose I shall join you in resigning myself to never getting married. I mean, you're a white revert and no one wants you. I'm a female past 18, it's hard for me to find someone too. But oh well, right? No point in worrying about the future, no one would marry an oldy mouldy like myself.
    lol
    "Be A Lamp, A Lifeboat, A Ladder, Help Someone's Soul Heal. Walk Out Of Your House Like A Shepherd" - Rumi

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    • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

      Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post
      you're 21 bro! be patient, you're young, our Prophet :saw: married at 25.
      JazakiAllah kheir sister for the reminder. :)

      Originally posted by Pippin1376 View Post
      Then I suppose I shall join you in resigning myself to never getting married. I mean, you're a white revert and no one wants you. I'm a female past 18, it's hard for me to find someone too. But oh well, right? No point in worrying about the future, no one would marry an oldy mouldy like myself.
      Forget it. Seriously!
      I'm talking from my own experiences and the way my own life is going and furthermore from my own life style.
      Not yours, not anyone elses.

      I really have learned it's not right to compare your life to anyone elses, because they never will quite match up. We all live differently, no matter what.
      When I say 'resigned myself' I mean I've 'found solace in...' not aiming to high for the immediate future, given the last few years and what I've been experiencing - again, something you simply don't know nor can relate to.

      So before people start lecturing me of my thoughts, feelings or posts, just keep in mind that everything I write is from MY perspective, not yours, not anyone else's.

      Walk a mile in my shoes, before you're so belittling.
      This, however, is address to more than just you, Sr. Pippin.

      In closing, I know what's going on, I know where I'm at on a physical wavelegnth, mental wavelegnth and maturity based wavelegnth. You don't.
      Last edited by ,, -alwaysbeme!; 27-07-10, 01:43 AM.

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      • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

        21 eh. I would suggest you invest few more years into yourself and stabilize yourself first. Quite frankly men are usually not mature at this age usually. Flame away...
        Please pray for my health. Jazak Allah

        I found the enemy and it is me.

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        • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

          I apologize if you are offended, but you missed my point. We all have problems when it comes to the marriage front and your experiences are different from my own and mine is different from others. However, just because we are sufferin hardships doesn't mean that we should give up hope in Allah. Allah onl tests us to what we are capable of handling and He knows that you can handle this and become stronger through it. When it is your time to get marries you will and no one will stop it. I don't care if you complain about your experiences, or show frustration and I don't care what you do about it. But if you give up you are showing Allah that you can't handle this and have lost your patience and trust towards Him. You may not feel this way you may not even believe it, but you posts convey that message and I personally don't like it. We all have problem, but when you give up you put yourself in a dangerous mindset that could lead you to fitna. Don't lose hope, make du'a and keep trying if you really want to get married. I'm sure that you'll find yourself a good wife, but be positive when it comes to your du'as. Allah answers du'a so know that it is only a matter of time before a wife pops up for you.

          May Allah help you with your hardships. Ameen.
          مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً وَاللّهُ يَقْبِضُ وَيَبْسُطُ وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجَعُونَ

          "Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful loan, which Allah will double unto his credit and multiply many times?
          It is Allah that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return."
          Surah al-Baqarah
          [2:245]

          .:.
          .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
          Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

          .:.
          ...said the spider to the fly...

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          • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

            i agree with the sister. life is a test and people are gonna hate you no matter who you are. its best to have sabr and be thankfull to Allah for what you have. cause if your not thankfull now, you wont be thankfull later.
            And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

            O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

            JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

            sponsor an orphan

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            • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

              Jazakumallah kheir.
              But you guys seem to be missing what I am saying.
              What I am saying is that by 'resigning myself' I'm not so much 'giving up' as I am just letting my life go a little bit. In this way I can focus on other things, at least for the moment and find my contentment in single life, as Allahu alim I have no idea how long it wil continue for.

              That said, I've always been quite an independant person. In my family, my parents were both VERY career oreinted people to the point they had little time for us, it was me who became kind of like the care taker at a very young age and in turn became very independant alhamdulillah. I just grew up very fast.
              Right now, I'm pretty much alone - well, I have friends and family...But you understand me, yeah?
              Coming home to no one and pretty much nothing is kind of weird after so long of holding the reigns and being felt 'needed' by other people.
              It's been like this for a while, and I'm having a very hard time adjusting to feeling somewhat 'arbitrary' for lack of a better term, and admit, have been for a while in a bit of a 'why bother' frame of mind when it comes to being that person, even for myself.

              Yes, I'm in my very early 20's and admit, it's very young, and have followed my parents to a degree with being career based, but not entirely alhamdulillah. I never want to be like that, or put my child in that position.
              I hear of brothers, 40 or over, still single and not coping so well. I put myself in their shoes, and I know it's a long way away and drive myself nuts with 'what ifs' as in 'what if this continues for that long?'

              I really do apologise if my posst show a distrust, for it's not the case at all. I'm just my own worst enemy, and apologise that these threads are like an outlet for me. But yes, I am entirely owed the blame, I agree with that.
              Last edited by ,, -alwaysbeme!; 27-07-10, 03:30 AM.

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              • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                bro i think your confused and dont know yourself what you ar feeling.

                i suggest you take some time to sort tht out.
                And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

                O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

                JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

                sponsor an orphan

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                • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                  i think the brother has a pretty clear on where hes at, he knows he has to have sabr, he takes solace in Allah and his deen, cos knows his situation will change insha Allah, and hes learnt to just go with the flow which shows maturity masha Allah. it is hard being alone even if u accept all of that, humans aren't meant to be alone. and when u come to islam, leave your freinds behind, dont fit in with family its tough, may Allah ta ala give our bro sabr and continued courage amin.
                  "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

                  The Prophet :saw: said:

                  "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

                  muslim

                  Narrated 'Abdullah:

                  The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


                  "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

                  By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

                  [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

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                  • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                    Originally posted by uncle umar View Post
                    bro i think your confused and dont know yourself what you ar feeling.

                    i suggest you take some time to sort tht out.
                    Brother, let's face it. I have nothing but time to figure it out. Even though, I do disagree with your assessment and agree with Sr. *Asiya*, I think I have where I am in life pretty worked out.
                    I just worry about the time I have being far too legnthy for me to really be able to cope with. :(
                    Kheir inshaAllah!

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                    • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                      sorry it was just my honest oppinion. no hurt was intended bro.

                      bro just from a lesson in life that i learned. i got married when i was 20. and as good as it was, i wish i waited. i have a pretty uniqe experience when it come to marrage but just take my word for it, you have time. im not saying this out of disobidenece to Allah, i dont know when either of us will die. what im saying is that even though nikah is very impornat ther are still more important things to worry about. and this is what i mean by sorting out.

                      really, work on sabr, because sabr is the gluw that holds and man and wife together through all those rough patches and stops needless arguments and is the key to forgivness. withour proper sabr, the marrage will probably fail.

                      and i dont say that to hurt or anything just maybe somthing to reflect on if you havent yet already.
                      And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

                      O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

                      JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

                      sponsor an orphan

                      Comment


                      • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                        Originally posted by uncle umar View Post
                        sorry it was just my honest oppinion. no hurt was intended bro.
                        Wow masha Allah bro. Congratulations on doing that at that age-nothing wrong with it. Masha Allah, may Allah continue to bless you.
                        Wasalaam.
                        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2o7d8e6Ovbs
                        黒い涙 流す
                        私には何もなくて 悲しすぎて
                        言葉にさえならなくて

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                        • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                          Allah blessed me with this test. i dunno if you read about what happens next but things went downhill real fast (almost made into a terroisim scapegoat) but through that test i came on the right path inshallah. before i was married i wasent practicing correctly, i had wrong ideas about islam (like i was modernist) but because of jail and everything alhamdulilah my heart got washed clean of the batil that was in it.

                          but getting married young isint easy. it takes alot of sabr and you need a spouse thats compatable otherwise its gonna be a real rough ride especally when your young cause finacial issues and social issues are more prevelant when you are younger and not esablished. not saying that it cant be done but one must really have lots of sabr because the situation dose eventually change.
                          And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

                          O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

                          JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

                          sponsor an orphan

                          Comment


                          • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                            Subana'Allah brother May Allah make things easy for you. I know a few people in your situation I know it's not easy.

                            Alhumdulilah we have Ramadan just around the corner. A time for us to reflect and be occupied with Worship Insha'Allah use this time to get closer to Allah and ask Allah to give you that which is best for you. We may want something so bad but right now that thing is not a good thing for us. Allah knows best and surely we want what is best for us?

                            Use this forum as a little meet way for having interaction with Muslims. Like sister Asiya said it helped her a lot. Alhumulilah.

                            Being married young is a little hard but it can be done Insha'Allah my hubby was 22 when we got married he is a "revert kinda". So am I. He was well grounded in his deen and with very good brothers he was "ready" Allah aukbar. So until an opportunity comes along for marriage really get into your studies of the deen build yourself up in the path of knowledge Insha'Allah.
                            And to Allah belong the soldiers of the heavens and the earth, and ever is Allah Knowing and Wise. [And] that He may admit the believing men and the believing women to gardens beneath which rivers flow to abide therein eternally and remove from them their misdeeds - and ever is that, in the sight of Allah , a great attainment.

                            Surah Fatĥ 4/5

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                            • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                              Originally posted by uncle umar View Post
                              sorry it was just my honest oppinion. no hurt was intended bro.

                              bro just from a lesson in life that i learned. i got married when i was 20. and as good as it was, i wish i waited. i have a pretty uniqe experience when it come to marrage but just take my word for it, you have time. im not saying this out of disobidenece to Allah, i dont know when either of us will die. what im saying is that even though nikah is very impornat ther are still more important things to worry about. and this is what i mean by sorting out.

                              really, work on sabr, because sabr is the gluw that holds and man and wife together through all those rough patches and stops needless arguments and is the key to forgivness. withour proper sabr, the marrage will probably fail.

                              and i dont say that to hurt or anything just maybe somthing to reflect on if you havent yet already.
                              Bro - I understand, you're looking out for me.
                              You're being a good brother.
                              I'm far from hurt from what you have said - ANYTHING you have said.

                              I'm just trying to say, there's a few things I don't deal too well with, one of them is feeling like I'm being underestimated.
                              I don't know, I just feel the way I grew up, the way I'm living now (far from ideal, but what is 'ideal') and my current situation/frame of mind, are enough to make me bhe able to say 'okay, I'm ready!'...Well, I've felt that way a loooooong time...
                              I know I must have Sabr, I just felt a lot of people thought I was 'quitting' mission: get married too soon when I said 'resigned myself' - which is where this whole storm seems to have begun.

                              I'm very proud of where I am at for my age:
                              Learning my deen to expand on what I already have in way of knowledge and trying to better myself constantly, steady and growing career, good living, experience taking care of myself and others (in terms of housework, nurturing, caring), can provide a home without aid of parents or in-laws, all quite comfortably. Alhamdulillah.

                              I don't say this to anyone in person, cos I fear they'll think I'll be full of myself...But I think I'm fairly tough cookie. Alhamdulillah.
                              Last edited by ,, -alwaysbeme!; 28-07-10, 01:52 PM.

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                              • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                                Originally posted by ,, -alwaysbeme! View Post
                                Jazakumallah kheir.
                                But you guys seem to be missing what I am saying.
                                What I am saying is that by 'resigning myself' I'm not so much 'giving up' as I am just letting my life go a little bit. In this way I can focus on other things, at least for the moment and find my contentment in single life, as Allahu alim I have no idea how long it wil continue for.

                                That said, I've always been quite an independant person. In my family, my parents were both VERY career oreinted people to the point they had little time for us, it was me who became kind of like the care taker at a very young age and in turn became very independant alhamdulillah. I just grew up very fast.
                                Right now, I'm pretty much alone - well, I have friends and family...But you understand me, yeah?
                                Coming home to no one and pretty much nothing is kind of weird after so long of holding the reigns and being felt 'needed' by other people.
                                It's been like this for a while, and I'm having a very hard time adjusting to feeling somewhat 'arbitrary' for lack of a better term, and admit, have been for a while in a bit of a 'why bother' frame of mind when it comes to being that person, even for myself.

                                Yes, I'm in my very early 20's and admit, it's very young, and have followed my parents to a degree with being career based, but not entirely alhamdulillah. I never want to be like that, or put my child in that position.
                                I hear of brothers, 40 or over, still single and not coping so well. I put myself in their shoes, and I know it's a long way away and drive myself nuts with 'what ifs' as in 'what if this continues for that long?'

                                I really do apologise if my posst show a distrust, for it's not the case at all. I'm just my own worst enemy, and apologise that these threads are like an outlet for me. But yes, I am entirely owed the blame, I agree with that.
                                you sound like you'd make a good husband and father. In the UK, you'd be snapped up pretty fast.
                                وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

                                And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


                                أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

                                Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


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