Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

why hatin on the white guys?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

    Originally posted by ,, -alwaysbeme! View Post
    I know that the way Muslims act isn't necessarily always Islamic - it just really frustrates me that they preach on one hand, and act like they're there to help, then moan on the other, and talk in circles behind your back. Because 'he's not like us'...Why should I even mask that I know REVERTS who have turned like this the second a family let them in, and I'm not for that. I just will never be able to support that.
    I'm very happy for you, walla! Please know that.
    You have truly, truly been blessed.

    But, for some of us, we just don't feel we have that rope.
    Sometimes I feel like in my dealings with the community on ANY level, not just marriage, I'm just free-falling. Alhamdulillah, it's been very trying over the years and yet I'm still here, fighting, kicking and screaming, and think I should be VERY proud of myself, cos I do feel I've been pretty much alone the whole time.

    Now, I'm in a position where I'm scared to put myself out there. I barely even speak at events, or at the Masjid, or at classes, or lectures, I just kind of wander around on my own and answer Salaams and anything else someone may ask me.
    I've just kind of been weathered by the community (in the very same city as you, sister Carol) to feel I can't really trust any of them.

    Forgive me if I'm harsh, forgive me if I'm dramatic.
    I just feel I need to voice that somewhere (here) and it's very emotionally draining for me to do so. :(

    Like, I've never felt like an outcast in my life...Until I came to Islam. Now I feel alienated by Muslims, and different among non-Muslims.
    Alhamdulillah, on most terms I'm not the 'giving-up' kind.
    May allah lead you to what is best for you.

    Brother don't sound weak, if you don't do things on your own no one will do it for you. Start having companions, the best of companions are the companions of the Qur'an, the masjid these are the real people. Start a life for yourself, the world contains the good and the bad, you only chose your path and protect it.
    islamway
    اللهم ارزقنا حُسن الخاتِمة

    Comment


    • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

      Originally posted by Abu Jaffar View Post
      May allah lead you to what is best for you.

      Brother don't sound weak, if you don't do things on your own no one will do it for you. Start having companions, the best of companions are the companions of the Qur'an, the masjid these are the real people. Start a life for yourself, the world contains the good and the bad, you only chose your path and protect it.
      bro it might be like that in a muslim land, but fact is in a western land its not always that easy. so many muslims who migrate here from the muslim lands came here for dunya, for money,financial migration and nothing else theyre not here for dawa or deen. and theyre not the kind to be interested in befreinding reverts who they view ( as we have seen in this thread) as not "one of them " - yes even those who recite Quran and spend time in the masjid can be this way. its alittle unfair to say our bro is appearing weak ( may not be what u meant could be a translation misunderstanding ) as he truely is struggling and carrying on despite all the difficulties he faces masha Allah, and hes not given up alhamdulillah. its true we have to do for ourselves but even if u put yourself amongst muslims and seek freindship its hard sometimes to find those who really understand brotherhood. insha Allah we remember our brother in our duaas, and may Allah ta ala bless our brother with good company and freindship, and a good muslim wife amin.
      "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

      The Prophet :saw: said:

      "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

      muslim

      Narrated 'Abdullah:

      The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


      "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

      By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

      [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

      Comment


      • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

        Originally posted by *asiya* View Post
        bro it might be like that in a muslim land, but fact is in a western land its not always that easy. so many muslims who migrate here from the muslim lands came here for dunya, for money,financial migration and nothing else theyre not here for dawa or deen. and theyre not the kind to be interested in befreinding reverts who they view ( as we have seen in this thread) as not "one of them " - yes even those who recite Quran and spend time in the masjid can be this way. its alittle unfair to say our bro is appearing weak ( may not be what u meant could be a translation misunderstanding ) as he truely is struggling and carrying on despite all the difficulties he faces masha Allah, and hes not given up alhamdulillah. its true we have to do for ourselves but even if u put yourself amongst muslims and seek freindship its hard sometimes to find those who really understand brotherhood. insha Allah we remember our brother in our duaas, and may Allah ta ala bless our brother with good company and freindship, and a good muslim wife amin.
        Sister I really do sympathize with the brother, and i admire his way of not giving up. but what im trying to say is that, people in general are not worthy of approaching except for the sake of Allah, thus whom are the real people who fall under this criteria, the religious people. You will find a flaw in every person, but try to find people with acceptable flaws that won't affect you directly. Remember that it is a time of trial where Allah is testing your real love to him and it will pass In sha ' Allah, definitely. But what will be your result, pass or fail. Because He Almighty said that there with every calamity there is ease.

        Don't worry, things will be better in' Sha' Allah
        islamway
        اللهم ارزقنا حُسن الخاتِمة

        Comment


        • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

          ok..this is a serious thread

          khair..every muslim- regardless of their background- is tested in one way or another, just have faith, have tawakkul Allah, everything happens at an appointed time right
          sigpic

          Comment


          • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

            Originally posted by *asiya* View Post
            for sure bro :jkk: for that subhanAllah we have born muslims being rejected for marriage because of their race- and not all reverts are white, we have indian (ex hindu/sikh) reverts, reverts from all over africa the Caribbean,from remote islands islands in the indian and atlantic oceans revert doesnt just = white person.



            thing is though even though u may come across that huge mix of muslims from all over, it doesnt always equate to be accepted in regards to marriage, which is what the brother is dealing with.

            It gets a bit wishy washy when people, who invite you round for dinner, and treat u like family- when it comes to marriage say "oh sorry we dont marry outside of our kind" we cant help you because we dont know anyone who marries "people like you" i even had it said that they couldnt help me look for a husband because it wouldnt be possible for them to ask anyone they knew about marriage to a white revert ( or a revert of any other race for that matter) and its not just the race, then its "of your age" "who has been married before" .. thats like a real punch in the face, and makes all their "brotherly love" seem like a total farce, because clearly they dont really see you as one of them, they just see race, and labels.
            But see sis.. I have never seen that issue amongst the many sisters and brothers I know here.. multicultural marriage is the norm for many.. infact today I don't think I was with one family where husband and wife were from the same cultural mix... and this includes white revert brothers married to muslim sisters from many nations.. including Somalia, Lebanon, Indonesia and the Phillipines, Pakistan and Eritrea.. just to name a few. and all of them are in their twenties and early thirties.. so a lot of years younger than me..

            anyway.. I"m not going to contribute to the thread any more.. I am totally blessed by the most amazing sisters and brothers from so many cultures, castes, reverts or otherwise mashaAllah .. and I will appreciate this blessing and ask Allah sWT to multiply it to others and keep our unique love and unity here strong by His mercy ameen.
            Last edited by carol_au; 25-07-10, 01:37 PM.
            .The Prophet sal Allahu alaiyhi wa sallam said, ďI guarantee a house in Jannah for one who gives up arguing, even if he is in the right; and I guarantee a home in the middle of Jannah for one who abandons lying even for the sake of fun; and I guarantee a house in the highest part of Jannah for one who has good manners.Ē
            http://jameelah61.wordpress.com/

            Comment


            • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

              Originally posted by [email protected] View Post
              ok..this is a serious thread

              khair..every muslim- regardless of their background- is tested in one way or another, just have faith, have tawakkul Allah, everything happens at an appointed time right
              no doubt sis, we just have to find ways to advise, understand and support each other and ourselves through those trials, until that appointed time for marriage comes insha Allah.
              "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

              The Prophet :saw: said:

              "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

              muslim

              Narrated 'Abdullah:

              The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


              "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

              By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

              [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

              Comment


              • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                you know..those brothers and sisters who don't have access to healthy, practicing muslim gatherings in real life can inshaAllah try finding some good muslim communities online, as absurd as it may sound but sometimes the internet can be a blessing in disguise..

                p.s.- yep asiya
                sigpic

                Comment


                • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                  Brother don't lose hope Inshallah Allah will make it easy for you. This is all just a test from Allah. Here is another example even when the economy is booming some ppl stay jobless yet others find jobs easily when there is a recession... why? Only Allah knows. Bottom line is different ppl will have different experiences. I have seen revert brothers with born muslim women so there is hope ;)
                  Should I start complaining that many non asian muslim parents don't like their kids to marry asians? Or even some reverts prefer arabs over asians as they seem more 'athentic' muslims?

                  I do realize there is injustice, there is double standard but life is like that. In the end if Allah wills something then that will happen no matter if the odds are 99.9% against it.
                  Please pray for my health. Jazak Allah

                  I found the enemy and it is me.

                  Comment


                  • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                    Originally posted by carol_au View Post
                    But see sis.. I have never seen that issue amongst the many sisters and brothers I know here.. multicultural marriage is the norm for many.. infact today I don't think I was with one family where husband and wife were from the same cultural mix... and this includes white revert brothers married to muslim sisters from many nations.. including Somalia, Lebanon, Indonesia and the Phillipines, Pakistan and Eritrea.. just to name a few. and all of them are in their twenties and early thirties.. so a lot of years younger than me..

                    anyway.. I"m not going to contribute to the thread any more.. I am totally blessed by the most amazing sisters and brothers from so many cultures, castes, reverts or otherwise mashaAllah .. and I will appreciate this blessing and ask Allah sWT to multiply it to others and keep our unique love and unity here strong by His mercy ameen.
                    But see Carol, I've ONLY seen this issue in our community.
                    Just because you've never seen it, doesn't mean it's not there.
                    Alhamdulillah, you are very blessed! :)

                    But just because you are, doesn't mean we all are.

                    JazakhAllah kheir for your replies. All of you. :)

                    Comment


                    • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                      Originally posted by uncle umar View Post
                      nothing. actualy IMO they are better cause they know what they want and know what to expoect.

                      somone with no experience is gonna go though all the phases and its gonna have the weird phase cause of the contrast.

                      just alot easier in terms of life goals to marry a widdow or divorcee.

                      but however this whole thread was based off sarcasim and i was more hoping that people would catch onto that and not take me seriously.
                      i always thought all reverts (male and female) were popular? as in people prefer them to their own culture because of the lack of cultural baggage, no joke, but if I was a bit older I wouldn't mind marrying you.
                      وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

                      And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


                      أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

                      Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


                      Please take a look at my travel booking website : https://destinationfindertravel.com/

                      Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

                      Comment


                      • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                        Originally posted by ,, -alwaysbeme! View Post
                        JazakiAllahu kheyran.
                        But as I said, I've resigned myself...I'd rather focus on bettering myself and my career than get caught up with ANY family...Any family, no matter what the sisters parents will say, will have members that dislike me before they know me. That's simply the law of averages.

                        I want little to nothing to do with a database or internet based connections. Not my style at all, and I have trust issues, noticed?
                        you're 21 bro! be patient, you're young, our Prophet :saw: married at 25.
                        وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

                        And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


                        أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

                        Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


                        Please take a look at my travel booking website : https://destinationfindertravel.com/

                        Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

                        Comment


                        • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                          Originally posted by Pippin1376 View Post
                          You can say that about everyone though. Being a Muslim doesn't mean you have a great family that will not hate you. :S As long as they accept Islam that is what ultimately matters. After that, compatibility and personality and all that other stuff comes after.
                          Exactly! I think when we all enter Islam not everyone approves even those of us whose family say 'La ilaha illa Allah' on their tongues. We are all in the same boat i can say and it differs. When some of us start practicing Islam not everyone likes it and some us are looked at as weird and get abandoned etc.

                          You practice Islam for Allah Swt and in these times it is difficult and i have come to understand the hadith where people will say 'i used to hear so-an-so say Allah etc' and this could be pertaining to those Jahil Muslims.

                          But then when you do recognise Islam and become a Muslim you ultimately become A STRANGER
                          May Allah Swt unite the strangers together and make us of them ameeeeen
                          (The hypocrites) will call the believers: "Were we not with you?" The believers will reply: "Yes! But you led yourselves into temptations, you looked forward for our destruction; you doubted (in Faith); and you were deceived by false desires, till the Command of Allah came to pass. And the chief deceiver (Satan) deceived you in respect of Allah."57:14

                          Comment


                          • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                            Originally posted by ,, -alwaysbeme! View Post
                            I don't see how I'm losing a thing by expressing my anger towards a CLEAR injustice. At all.

                            See, this is why I said I've 'resigned myself' - I'm so much happier just not thinking about how people seem to want to make me feel inferior.
                            Then I suppose I shall join you in resigning myself to never getting married. I mean, you're a white revert and no one wants you. I'm a female past 18, it's hard for me to find someone too. But oh well, right? No point in worrying about the future, no one would marry an oldy mouldy like myself.
                            مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً وَاللّهُ يَقْبِضُ وَيَبْسُطُ وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجَعُونَ

                            "Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful loan, which Allah will double unto his credit and multiply many times?
                            It is Allah that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return."
                            Surah al-Baqarah
                            [2:245]

                            .:.
                            .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
                            Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

                            .:.
                            ...said the spider to the fly...

                            Comment


                            • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                              your a sister?

                              i was under the assumption that you were a brother?

                              im sorry pippin.
                              And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

                              O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

                              JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

                              sponsor an orphan

                              Comment


                              • Re: why hatin on the white guys?

                                Originally posted by uncle umar View Post
                                your a sister?

                                i was under the assumption that you were a brother?

                                im sorry pippin.
                                I grew up in a household of boys, so maybe their manly ways rubbed off on me giving me a manish persona. :D
                                مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً وَاللّهُ يَقْبِضُ وَيَبْسُطُ وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجَعُونَ

                                "Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful loan, which Allah will double unto his credit and multiply many times?
                                It is Allah that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return."
                                Surah al-Baqarah
                                [2:245]

                                .:.
                                .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
                                Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

                                .:.
                                ...said the spider to the fly...

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X