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support of wife financially by husband??

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    support of wife financially by husband??

    Asalam alaikum,
    I'm recently married, alhumdullilah my hubby is practicing and is a good man.
    I live in the west n he lives in the Middle East temporarily, the problem is that he isn't giving anything financially unless
    I ask each month and I have asked in past but am not used to relying on anyone but myself, so I will hint around saying oh I have to pay this n that etc hoping he will offer to send money to help but he doesn't. So how do I approach this? I don't want to seem greedy but I'm struggling. Please tell me your advice, also I'm a new revert so I am in unknown territory.

    #2
    Re: support of wife financially by husband??

    Asalam alaykum sister,

    Mashallah, may Allah bless your marriage and the both of you and join you in good.......

    In Islam, It is the husband's responsibility to fully support the wife, regardless of whether she is a millionaire or not. it is his duty to fully support her.now that doesn't mean that the wife can not help on sharing some of the responsibitoes at home, or working, as long as the work she does will not come into conflict with her practising her deen, or get her into fitna....again this has to be done with consultation with the husband.

    Having said that, we all live in different circumstances everywhere in the world, and living in the middle east and you in the west, maybe(and this is a huge maybe) he assumes that you have enought to take care of you, or he equates the cost of living in the two places....whatever the case, it is not greedy to ask him for finances for your upkeep. it is your right. and the best way to do this would be to talk to him about it, in the gentlest ways possible, and try to make him understand that you need the finances and that he should have to wait for you to constantly ask...having being an independent lady like you mentioned.
    You can also ask him to do a standing order every month, that wasy there is no risk of him forgetting, and you suffering....

    Whatever you decide,I don't know his mentality on these things, but I know the islamic stand on the same,so since you know him better, you decide the best way to bring this up. bearing in mind that it is your right, not privilege, and you are not being greedy in asking ...and also keeping in mind his financial position. thats very important.

    May Allah make it easy on the both of you, and increase you in love, mercy and piety, and may He join you and in Janatul firdaus.
    and may he also make our marriages stronger, and better, and may he make us amongst the people of Jannah.

    Amin

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      #3
      Re: support of wife financially by husband??

      Walekumassalaam sister,

      I would suggest you to make a list of your reasonable expenses and tell your husband about it, he is responsible for your living expenses. Or on the other hand do you how much he earns or what other expenses he has, that will make you present things better in a better way.
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        #4
        Re: support of wife financially by husband??

        Without jumping to conclusions - you mention he is currently in the East, you here and a revert, are you second wife? Or to put it anothe way is there any possiblity that he has another family elsewhere?

        Not wishing to alarm you but in my own experience this often has happened, especially to new reverts that marry without his family being present etc (saying are dead or not able to come etc) and knowing that a revert is often not protected by a Wali/guardian?

        Unless you had discussed such matters about finance beforehand it is a good assumption and certainly Islamic in basis to expect maintenance from your spouse.
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          #5
          Re: support of wife financially by husband??

          Jazakallah khair for the responses. To answer a few questions
          We were introduced over phone by his nephew, and after speaking on phone for Time,he flew me there to meet and
          Marry. He was never married due to family wanting their choice and he
          Didn't agree, so stayed single. I met whole family and there isn't any skeletons.
          I just think he doesn't know how to handle situation. Inshallah I will approach him gently and respectfully.
          I know it's my right and we should have clarified this before. I would feel more comfortable asking for a set monthly amount
          Within reason of his financial situation of course.
          May Allah swt bless us all and keep us strong :)

          Comment


            #6
            Re: support of wife financially by husband??

            Jazakallah khair for the responses. To answer a few questions
            We were introduced over phone by his nephew, and after speaking on phone for Time,he flew me there to meet and
            Marry. He was never married due to family wanting their choice and he
            Didn't agree, so stayed single. I met whole family and there isn't any skeletons.
            I just think he doesn't know how to handle situation. Inshallah I will approach him gently and respectfully.
            I know it's my right and we should have clarified this before. I would feel more comfortable asking for a set monthly amount
            Within reason of his financial situation of course.
            May Allah swt bless us all and keep us strong :)

            Comment

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