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Monogamy is also a sunnah

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  • T_1000
    replied
    Re: Monogamy is also a sunnah

    Originally posted by علي View Post
    Monogamy by definition is the limitation of a person to having one wife.

    The Messenger of Allah :saw: never limited himself to one wife, he was simply married to one wife at a point in time. Even people who engage in polygamy, they have to marry the first one first, and it is very rare for a man to marry more than one at the same time. That's like saying it's a sunnah to eat an even number of dates on the morning of eid, not just an odd one, because if the Messenger of Allah :saw: ate an odd number of dates more than one, he certainly then must have eaten two at some point before reaching three. But that's incorrect, the sunnah is to eat an odd number only.

    The limitation to one wife, that is monogamy, is a concept recognized by Islam only in specific instances. Islam was revealed on a polygamous group of Arabs, and all it did was limit them to four, and one if they can't be just. Thus really all Muslims, even if they are married to one wife, are in their nature polygamous because we all say it's halal. The fact we happen to be married to only one wife at any given time does not change that.

    i'm confused too... if you're trying to say that we are polygamous by nature then yes this is true, but being mentally polygamous and physically polygamous are two very different things

    Leave a comment:


  • T_1000
    replied
    Re: Monogamy is also a sunnah

    Originally posted by AbuIbraheem. View Post
    Although its not one that is shunned today - in fact MOST Muslims men that are married only have 1 wife.

    So you don't need to encourage Monogamy, Polygyny on the other hand is a Sunnah that had been mostly abandoned today....
    yes, we can dream about 4 wives all day long but realistically just finding one is hard enough!

    peeps be fussy nowadays!

    Leave a comment:


  • samraz26
    replied
    Re: Monogamy is also a sunnah

    Question
    Last edited by samraz26; 19-09-14, 01:45 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • samraz26
    replied
    Re: Monogamy is also a sunnah

    Question
    Last edited by samraz26; 19-09-14, 01:50 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • علي
    replied
    Re: Monogamy is also a sunnah

    Monogamy by definition is the limitation of a person to having one wife.

    The Messenger of Allah :saw: never limited himself to one wife, he was simply married to one wife at a point in time. Even people who engage in polygamy, they have to marry the first one first, and it is very rare for a man to marry more than one at the same time. That's like saying it's a sunnah to eat an even number of dates on the morning of eid, not just an odd one, because if the Messenger of Allah :saw: ate an odd number of dates more than one, he certainly then must have eaten two at some point before reaching three. But that's incorrect, the sunnah is to eat an odd number only.

    The limitation to one wife, that is monogamy, is a concept recognized by Islam only in specific instances. Islam was revealed on a polygamous group of Arabs, and all it did was limit them to four, and one if they can't be just. Thus really all Muslims, even if they are married to one wife, are in their nature polygamous because we all say it's halal. The fact we happen to be married to only one wife at any given time does not change that.

    Leave a comment:


  • In my Opinion
    replied
    Re: Monogamy is also a sunnah

    Originally posted by dhak1yya View Post
    good advice mashaAllah :up: My husband has two wives mashaAllah, and he's not doing too bad a job of dealing with it mashaAllah, but I think it's a lot more difficult than he thought, and that's with me (wife no 1) being supportive of his decision.

    I'd change the advice to can you handle it if one of your wives is shouting at you, another is texting you saying she's really really upset and wants to talk to you RIGHT NOW, another is calling you saying she thinks she's in labour and the fourth is in the mall using your credit card :D - and all four have left you in charge of the kids. They have five kids each, and they are currently playing football in the living room.

    It makes me laugh so much all these single guys saying stuff like "I want x wives because it's my right to have them" - rights and responsibilities go together, my advice to single brothers is try to get it right with one wife first, and still have lots of cash and energy to spare, before you even think about another one.
    Dhakiyya - I am very curious to know - why did your husband want to marry again? And how did you react when you first heard him say it? I do admire your patience as I have no idea how one comes to terms with this. The only way, I for instance can come to terms with such an arrangement is if I didn't love my husband and only saw him as a provider. And I could only see someone like that if I was seriously poor. Otherwise I wouldn't stay in the marriage.

    Leave a comment:


  • In my Opinion
    replied
    Re: Monogamy is also a sunnah

    Originally posted by ahaneefah View Post
    Prophet (saw) said:



    [Reported by al-Tirmidhi]
    Sighs... so out of context. People are not doing fard these days. I'd say FARD should be revived.

    Leave a comment:


  • Mockingjay
    replied
    Re: Monogamy is also a sunnah

    Monogamy, polygamy, come on maaaaaaannnnnn enuf discussion like this. Whatever floats your boat. One wife is fine. Two, three, four wives fine too.

    Leave a comment:


  • emam9109
    replied
    Re: Monogamy is also a sunnah

    Originally posted by Supernova Nebula View Post
    :up:
    I have two wives. Allah first says two wives in the Quran. Then he says three wives. Then he says four wives. And then one wife is mentioned only as a concession. The brothers are absolutely right. Every brother should marry again. Have at least two wives brothers. You'll even live longer. Allah bless you.

    Monogamy is not sunnah ya OP. Ibn Abbas said: The best man is with the most wives.

    Leave a comment:


  • AbuIbraheem.
    replied
    Re: Monogamy is also a sunnah

    Originally posted by Te'oma View Post
    He married Kadhija(pbuh) at a late age and then again he didn't just rush out and start advertising that he wanted another wife after Kadhija(pbuh) had died.
    When he (saw) married Khadija (ra) he wasn't a Prophet so you can't use that as an evidence and say it was a Sunnah.

    When Khadija (ra) he (saw) had a period of grieving, it was a sad time as I posted above so its understandable he didn't marry straight away, but it wasn't that long before he (saw) married.


    I'm yet to see any evidence that staying single is a Sunnah or in anyway a recommended action.

    Leave a comment:


  • talib_27
    replied
    Re: Monogamy is also a sunnah

    Originally posted by ~hoor~ View Post
    isn't polygamy Mubaah?? Correct me if I am wrong..
    It is Sunnah.

    Marriage whether first, second, third or fourth. It can be either just sunnah or it can be haram or it can be farz.

    Haram when you cannot fulfill the rights of your wife.
    Sunnah when in a normal state.
    Farz when you cannot save yourself from zina.

    النكاح سنتي فمن رغب عن سنتي فقد رغب عني - متفق عليه
    Nikah is my sunnah, whoever turns away from it, turned away from me.

    It doesnt specify just the first marriage so it can be said about all 4 marriages that it is sunnah.

    Leave a comment:


  • ~hoor~
    replied
    Re: Monogamy is also a sunnah

    isn't polygamy Mubaah?? Correct me if I am wrong..

    Leave a comment:


  • talib_27
    replied
    Re: Monogamy is also a sunnah

    Originally posted by Dantae View Post
    1) a person should never marry someone just because of sexual gratification. Sexual gratification is actually only a minor part of a marriage, and even less so as people get older and older. What is truly important are the times you spend together. The love and growth together in all things. And a person should not get married till they understand this.

    2) a person that is only thinking of having many wife's is only thinking of himself, which is selfish. Most women don't want to see their husband with another women, nor should they have to be forced to even if it is allowed by law and religion. I understand there will always be a few women who don't mind, but that is not the vast majority.

    3) as husbands, we must think of the feelings of our wife. Ideally, as husbands the feelings of our wife are more important than our own. The feelings of our wife must be placed in more importance than our own feelings. If we do an action, we must always ask ourselves, would we want our wife to do this same action? If the answer is no, why would you would want to put your wife through it?

    4) Marriage is not about being selfish, being married is deciding to come together and live life together and leaving these selfish desires. this means sacrifices of both husband and wife must be made. One such sacrifice is your desire for other men (for wife) and women (for husband) to be truly be together as husband and wife. Only then will you enjoy true happiness in a marriage.
    Can we talk about what Islam says? Other than own views? BTW sexual gratification is the most important part of marriage. The hukum of marriage changes because of that. Sometimes it is sunnah sometimes it is farz only because of the sexual urges.

    Please be a little realistic, saying that sexual gratification is only a minor part is far away from reality. Everyone marries to save themselves from zina. Have you ever asked a single person why do you want to marry?> The answer would be what kind of a stupid question is this? Everyone wants to marry, its natural. So if a person feels he has to get another wife to save himself from zina then it is perfectly alright according to Islam and insha'Allah he will get alot of ajar.

    Leave a comment:


  • Dantae
    replied
    Re: Monogamy is also a sunnah

    Originally posted by talib_27 View Post

    istn sexual gratification a big part of marriage? isnt it sadqah and ajar to save one self from zina and do it with their wives?

    so if a man needs a second wife to save his piety whats wrong in that?
    1) a person should never marry someone just because of sexual gratification. Sexual gratification is actually only a minor part of a marriage, and even less so as people get older and older. What is truly important are the times you spend together. The love and growth together in all things. And a person should not get married till they understand this.

    2) a person that is only thinking of having many wife's is only thinking of himself, which is selfish. Most women don't want to see their husband with another women, nor should they have to be forced to even if it is allowed by law and religion. I understand there will always be a few women who don't mind, but that is not the vast majority.

    3) as husbands, we must think of the feelings of our wife. Ideally, as husbands the feelings of our wife are more important than our own. The feelings of our wife must be placed in more importance than our own feelings. If we do an action, we must always ask ourselves, would we want our wife to do this same action? If the answer is no, why would you would want to put your wife through it?

    4) Marriage is not about being selfish, being married is deciding to come together and live life together and leaving these selfish desires. this means sacrifices of both husband and wife must be made. One such sacrifice is your desire for other men (for wife) and women (for husband) to be truly be together as husband and wife. Only then will you enjoy true happiness in a marriage.

    Leave a comment:


  • advghori
    replied
    Re: Monogamy is also a sunnah

    Originally posted by aiesha_kiwi View Post
    lol.. What one woman not enough for you brother? I am guessing you are a brother by the comment.
    :start:
    He might not be talking about himself and yeah one women is not enough for many brothers. Allah has made us like that, otherwise we would not have been getting thousands of Hoors in Jannah :inlove:

    Leave a comment:

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