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Need Advice ASAP!!! Please!!! :S

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  • Need Advice ASAP!!! Please!!! :S

    Last edited by StukInTheMiddle; 03-12-09, 05:04 PM. Reason: miss a word out

  • #2
    Re: Need Advice ASAP!!! Please!!! :S

    Dude if you wana ruin his life then dont tell him! otherwise tell him...he will respect you more and will appreciate you telling him
    Never give the devil a ride, He will always want to drive

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    • #3
      Re: Need Advice ASAP!!! Please!!! :S

      Sister Stuck in the Middle,

      :masha: it's good that you're trying to advise your sister rather than watch everything happen before your eyes, but I think maybe give her one final warning and tell her that you'll have to tell your parents if she doesn't stop? I think maybe parents can put a stop to it? As for her future husband to be, if she's not interested in marrying him, then she shouldn't mess him about and should just say she's not interested, and save him the heartache.
      Last edited by Grotbags; 03-12-09, 11:39 PM. Reason: supernova post deleted
      قال بعض السلف :
      خلق الله الملائكة عقولاً بلا شهوة ، وخلق البهائم شهوة بلا عقول، وخلق ابن آدم وركب فيه العقل والشهوة ، فمن غلب عقله شهوته التحق بالملائكة ، ومن غلبت شهوته عقله التحق بالبهائم .

      http://saaid.net/



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      • #4
        Re: Need Advice ASAP!!! Please!!! :S

        This might sound silly but you have evidence to provide him that she is seeing someone else right?
        Mrs B

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        • #5
          Re: Need Advice ASAP!!! Please!!! :S

          Originally posted by StukInTheMiddle View Post
          I don’t know what to do!

          Its been a month or so since I found out my older sister had been unfaithful many times to her future husband to be. I had confronted her and told her to tell him the truth but she hasn’t and won’t.
          She is still continuing to talk to this “third person” so I know she will be tempted to be unfaithful again.

          And now I am in two minds of telling my future brother in law, the whole truth.

          I feel he has a right to know. But is it in my right to tell him?

          I feel compelled to do something about it, as it is a matter my brother in law’s life and the two families being destroyed in the future if the truth comes out.

          Or do I stand back and just watch fate take its course? :(
          Stand back not your place.
          If he is loved up he would probably not believe you.
          Even if his mind he believes you his heart shall lead the way .

          Always does when people are in love they miss the obvious hallmarks of betrayal

          I would tell your Parents let them put her in her place.
          Better to hurt them by telling them now than hearing from other people in the future

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          • #6
            Re: Need Advice ASAP!!! Please!!! :S

            Thank you so much Sister.

            I have tried to tell my sister again and again to tell him the truth but she is adamant that she won't. And she dosen't really listen to me.

            what my sister is doing is not fair on either families and esp her husband to be.

            She is marrying this person by her own choice, it wasn't arranged. She has known him for 4 years and the way I see it, is that this relationship is based on lies.

            I couldnt possibly tell my parents that will cause so much more trouble as they already don't really approve of him.

            And I am very shocked and upset how she could be such a person.

            Originally posted by fisabilillah View Post

            Sister Stuck in the Middle,

            :masha: it's good that you're trying to advise your sister rather than watch everything happen before your eyes, but I think maybe give her one final warning and tell her that you'll have to tell your parents if she doesn't stop? I think maybe parents can put a stop to it? As for her future husband to be, if she's not interested in marrying him, then she shouldn't mess him about and should just say she's not interested, and save him the heartache.
            Last edited by Grotbags; 03-12-09, 11:39 PM. Reason: fisabilillah post edited

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            • #7
              Re: Need Advice ASAP!!! Please!!! :S

              what do you mean? that she is seeing another brother?? like boy friend girl friend?? or are they talking etc? This plays a big role in how to deal with this! Does she wants to marry the second brother or the brother its arranged with??
              Last edited by Grotbags; 03-12-09, 11:40 PM. Reason: stukinthe middle post deleted

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              • #8
                Re: Need Advice ASAP!!! Please!!! :S

                Well, your correct in wondering whther you have the right or not, But i don't think you should.
                Because like you said, you don't want to break the bond between two families. So, i think you should your sister seeratul-mustaqeem. Thuis way she'll inshallah get on the right path;plus your brother-in-law may understand and forgive her.




                Best of luck...!:up:

                'One who puts another on the right path, is given many rewards....'
                (Ok, i made that up. But it must be true, because you get rewards for doing minor things....

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                • #9
                  Re: Need Advice ASAP!!! Please!!! :S

                  yes I do.

                  Originally posted by shazj View Post
                  This might sound silly but you have evidence to provide him that she is seeing someone else right?

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                  • #10
                    Re: Need Advice ASAP!!! Please!!! :S

                    Originally posted by StukInTheMiddle View Post
                    yes I do.
                    Why is your sister refusing to tell him? :confused:
                    Mrs B

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                    • #11
                      Re: Need Advice ASAP!!! Please!!! :S

                      Originally posted by aG123 View Post
                      what do you mean? that she is seeing another brother?? like boy friend girl friend?? or are they talking etc? This plays a big role in how to deal with this! Does she wants to marry the second brother or the brother its arranged with??
                      ??

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                      • #12
                        Re: Need Advice ASAP!!! Please!!! :S

                        now the smiley has been changed;)

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Need Advice ASAP!!! Please!!! :S

                          No this is terrible.

                          Your sister is not ready to get married whatsoever. She will just break her husbands heart. She is not mentally ready for marriage. You need to stop her!

                          The relationship she is currently in is totally haram.

                          It doesn't matter what she says, first find evidence which you can show to your mum and dad. This is a serious issue and you must treat everything in life with Islam.

                          For all we know, if she continues to marry this man, justice will be done and she may be the one that is heartbroken.

                          If you have any respect for a fellow muslim brother, you will put your foot down.

                          Don't be aggressive or anything, remember to always keep to Islamic principles.

                          Don't listen to anyone on here if they are not going to give suggestions which are not 100% Islamic in principle.

                          He has the right to know I think. It is for marriage purposes. The marriage between HIM AND HER is AGREED. Therefore, he MUST know about this - to my opinion. Don't reveal the actual details of the sin, but you should say there is a big sin involved which does not serve the marriage well.

                          He does not deserve this AT ALL. He deserves better behaviour from a future wife. Your sister is 100% not ready for marriage. Sorry.
                          Last edited by tca_alam; 03-12-09, 05:29 PM.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Need Advice ASAP!!! Please!!! :S

                            firstly how do you know she has been unfaithful, unless you have caught them in the act how can you be a 100% certain?

                            i would say you must tell him as he has a right to know before getting married to such a person but like i said you must be 100% sure, no maybe's

                            if she is cheating on him, then it shows she has no respect for him, has no feelings for him and doesnt wanna marry him so if you dont wana tell him about what she has done then just advise her to break off the marriage and make up a different reason for ending it - that way the brother is saved from marrying your sister and your sister doesnt have to reveal her sins to the world

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                            • #15
                              Re: Need Advice ASAP!!! Please!!! :S

                              Originally posted by -Shamil- View Post
                              firstly how do you know she has been unfaithful, unless you have caught them in the act how can you be a 100% certain?

                              i would say you must tell him as he has a right to know before getting married to such a person but like i said you must be 100% sure, no maybe's

                              if she is cheating on him, then it shows she has no respect for him, has no feelings for him and doesnt wanna marry him so if you dont wana tell him about what she has done then just advise her to break off the marriage and make up a different reason for ending it - that way the brother is saved from marrying your sister and your sister doesnt have to reveal her sins to the world
                              Uh huh...that's true

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