Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

race and culture

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Re: race and culture

    Originally posted by *asiya* View Post
    :jkk:

    however the answer seems very elusive, i am so curious to know what it is people are doing in their "cultures" that make two muslims who live by islam, totally incompatible. As yet we have no answers.
    You never will and if someone does arrive at a conclusion it would most probably be something against Islam.

    Comment


    • Re: race and culture

      Originally posted by *asiya* View Post
      please brother fill us in tell us the big secret, we keep on hearing the same thing as you said in many threads "we are more comfortable with our own culture" ( and this is mostly from people who live thousands and thousands of miles from their own place of birth, or their parents place of birth ..) so what exactly is it that you do in your culture that makes it totally incompatible to marry a muslim from a different culture ? what specifically are you doing in your homes that is so different to every other muslim of a different culture it makes cross cultural marriage sometimes unthinkable and most often " unpreferable " ?

      there must be something specific that is causing this huge rift.
      Sister, many people have posted their reasons, even revert Muslims.

      But, what happens is that people just brush aside these issues and say they are not important because they are both Muslims, so that's all that matters. However, the reality isn't that simple.

      Just look at post 84 and then post 87 of this thread.

      The sister gave reasons that she'd feel she'd want in a marriage, then you gave a counter argument by saying, "should our feeling of belonging not be based on being muslims and our attachment to islam rather than whatever race or culture we come from ?"

      Yes, Islam is important, but we can't totally ignore culture as it plays a big part in people's life. And, no one should look down upon those who have such preferences.

      Wallahi, if the sister said she'd feel a greater sense of belonging, then it's her choice, her marriage, her life. Nothing wrong with it at all.
      Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

      "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
      - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

      Comment


      • Re: race and culture

        Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
        Sister, many people have posted their reasons, even revert Muslims.

        But, what happens is that people just brush aside these issues and say they are not important because they are both Muslims, so that's all that matters. However, the reality isn't that simple.

        Just look at post 84 and then post 87 of this thread.

        The sister gave reasons that she'd feel she'd want in a marriage, then you gave a counter argument by saying, "should our feeling of belonging not be based on being muslims and our attachment to islam rather than whatever race or culture we come from ?"

        Yes, Islam is important, but we can't totally ignore culture as it plays a big part in people's life. And, no one should look down upon those who have such preferences.

        Wallahi, if the sister said she'd feel a greater sense of belonging, then it's her choice, her marriage, her life. Nothing wrong with it at all.
        I have been called a racist and neg rep for saying people have preference in marriage by sis asiya thoughh many agreed with me and reppd me jazkhallah khair to them.
        wait for your neg rep bro.

        I wonder if she would force her children in marriage if they had their own preference be it anything. since she keeps saying if she/he is a muslim khalas nothing to worry (marry).
        ☝🏻️اللهمَّ لك الحمد حتى ترضى، ولك الحمد إذا رضيت، ولك الحمد بعد الرضا

        Comment


        • Re: race and culture

          Lol, I don't think she's gonna neg me. just answering her question.
          Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

          "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
          - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

          Comment


          • Re: race and culture

            if her own children (who are mixed race themselves) were Muslim and they were looking for a bride for him, she would not, not go and visit and have a meeting with any sister who she hears/is told/ knows has good deen because of that sisters race, age, marital status, height, level of education etc. As she and I believe these are not the defining factors for compatibility in a marriage.
            Originally posted by Beblessed View Post
            I have been called a racist and neg rep for saying people have preference in marriage by sis asiya thoughh many agreed with me and reppd me jazkhallah khair to them.
            wait for your neg rep bro.

            I wonder if she would force her children in marriage if they had their own preference be it anything. since she keeps saying if she/he is a muslim khalas nothing to worry (marry).

            Recipes for all the family :inlove:
            (and you thought I was a lazy feminazi which can't cook?)

            Comment


            • Re: race and culture

              Originally posted by Beblessed View Post
              I wonder if she would force her children in marriage if they had their own preference be it anything. since she keeps saying if she/he is a muslim khalas nothing to worry (marry).
              I don't understand how people can have the nerve to make such assumptions about other users, astaghfirullah. You don't know the sister. She is not against same culture marriages, she is against choosing a marriage partner on the basis of culture, i.e. rejecting people for no reason other than the culture they were born into.

              If someone goes into this with an open mind, and considers proposals on the basis of deen and character, and then *happens to* find that of all the proposals the one they're most compatable with *happens to* be from the same cultural background, *no-one* here has a problem with that.

              If you are rejecting proposals for no reason other than their ethnic origin/cultural background, then that is prejudice *by definition* because prejudice means pre-judging. I.e. judging someone before you've even met them, based on a stereotype or preconceived idea. All those of you who say you prefer one race/culture over another, are basing this on stereotypes and/or preconceived ideas. it cannot possibly be anything else that you're judging them on, because you have not met them. On the other hand, if you meet a whole lot of prospectives with an open mind, and then find that the one you're most compatible with happens to have the same background as you, then that's not prejudice, that's a judgement you made about them *after* you have met them, based on the person they actually are, not on your preconceived ideas about them. What's most interesting about this though, is when people who are inclined to prejudge people based on stereotypes and preconceived ideas, if they do open their mind to other possibilities, they find they're pleasantly surprised and in the case of marriage, may find that they're a lot more compatible with people from other cultures than they thought they would be.

              The take home message being that it's in YOUR benefit to open your mind to more possibilities. A comment that keeps recurring is how one brother/sister rejects several prospectives on the basis of them not being from the right culture.... and then not long after that complaining that they can't find someone to marry. If you can't see what's wrong with this scenario, then you need to open your mind a lot more and consider more different people. You might just find that you meet your ideal marriage partner from among a group of people you wouldn't expect to. It's a win-win situation. You have nothing to lose by opening your mind and meeting a wider range of prospectives. If you meet them and find you're not compatible, then you haven't lost anything, in fact you gained the knowledge that you *really* are not compatible with that person, based on the person that they *actually* are, not your preconceived idea of them. And you have much less risk of rejecting someone who could potentially make an excellent marriage partner for you, before you even met them.
              [CENTER]
              [/CENTER]
              [CENTER]
              [/CENTER]

              [SIZE=1][COLOR=dimgray]
              [/COLOR][/SIZE]

              Comment


              • Re: race and culture

                we seem to have a little gang of bullies on the forum who like going round calling me all sorts, hating on me for speaking out against the blatant racisim in this ummah in the guise of "preference" a preference, that blatantly excludes the rest of the ummah on the basis of the qadr of Allah in their place of birth, and their skin colour. a "preference" which is not from islam.

                these same people who claim to know what i will do and say, who assume all sorts about me, and yet they get upset and come crying in threads and bleating asiya neg repped them when i pull them up on it, or in some cases calling me all sorts of nasty names in public, thats the 4th user to do that in 2 days.

                i dont know what it is about me exactly that makes you all feel thats acceptable, many others users are saying the same thing as me, but im the only target here.

                you all need to get a grip and realise this is a discussion forum, and we are here to discuss, i dont have to agree with you, and you dont have to agree with me. we are discussing, and if u want to throw personal insults and make false assumptions about me, and slander me for my opinion, then yes im going to neg rep you. thats what reps are there for u can show ur appreciation for an opinion, or u can show u dont agree with a post.

                you all need to pay heed because this has gotten seriously out of control, and the angels of Allah ta ala are recording every single word u say, and type, and we will all answer to Allah on judgment day, you may think that because you are behind a computer screen its fine. its really not.
                Last edited by *asiya*; 06-04-12, 12:05 PM.
                "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

                The Prophet :saw: said:

                "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

                muslim

                Narrated 'Abdullah:

                The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


                "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

                By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

                [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

                Comment


                • Re: race and culture

                  Originally posted by Beblessed View Post
                  I have been called a racist and neg rep for saying people have preference in marriage by sis asiya thoughh many agreed with me and reppd me jazkhallah khair to them.
                  wait for your neg rep bro.

                  I wonder if she would force her children in marriage if they had their own preference be it anything. since she keeps saying if she/he is a muslim khalas nothing to worry (marry).
                  That’s an ignorant remark. she was just mentioning that the majority of those who have a cultural background tend to marry someone who also shares the same or similar background without the basis of sunnah and even being open-minded about it. I think its merely due to comfort zone, language barriers and just making the families happy tbh. In my cultural family, the women tend to backbite when someone steps out of their comfort zone and they make such a hoorah about it. But no one really cares about me, if I were to get married to someone outside my culture, cos I cant even speak my own mother language n my cultures derived from hinduism so I can get away with it inshAllah

                  Comment


                  • Re: race and culture

                    Originally posted by *asiya* View Post
                    we seem to have a little gang of bullies on the forum who like going round calling me all sorts, hating on me for speaking out against the blatant racisim in this ummah in the guise of "preference" a preference, that blatantly excludes the rest of the ummah on the basis of the qadr of Allah in their place of birth, and their skin colour. a "preference" which is not from islam.

                    these same people who claim to know what i will do and say, who assume all sorts about me, and yet they get upset and come crying in threads and bleating asiya neg repped them when i pull them up on it, or in some cases calling me all sorts of nasty names in public, thats the 4th user to do that in 2 days.

                    i dont know what it is about me exactly that makes you all feel thats acceptable, many others users are saying the same thing as me, but im the only target here.

                    you all need to get a grip and realise this is a discussion forum, and we are here to discuss, i dont have to agree with you, and you dont have to agree with me. we are discussing, and if u want to throw personal insults and make false assumptions about me, and slander me for my opinion, then yes im going to neg rep you. thats what reps are there for u can show ur appreciation for an opinion, or u can show u dont agree with a post.

                    you all need to pay heed because this has gotten seriously out of control, and the angels of Allah ta ala are recording every single word u say, and type, and we will all answer to Allah on judgment day, you may think that because you are behind a computer screen its fine. its really not.

                    Sister your not that innocent type who just gets trampled on. The way you post at times asks for neg repping. Your intentions are fine... but your " slayer of jahil culture" tag has got to you.

                    There may be people out there who actually believed to kick out terrorism but have been dragged into a lot of rubbish, you think your doing good by "slaying culture"... but a lot of what you say dont make sense... theres nothing wrong with culture and customs as long as they are not against islam, the way your putting it, everyone from back home is a jahil cultural twit lol...

                    they are recording everything we say + what you say sister, a lot of the negativity you get is brought on by yourself. I even get the vibe from your posts that reverts are some pure form of people who have no preference no race or culture, and would marry soley on deen and nothing else. No-one is perfect, but recently, the vibes i've been getting from you sister are not the best..


                    So maybe we all need to calm down, know that the angel are writing down about everyone, and we should be good in our speech, esp to our brother and sisters in islam.


                    Wsalamuallaikum.
                    Last edited by QMU; 06-04-12, 02:43 PM.

                    Comment


                    • Re: race and culture

                      Originally posted by Beblessed View Post
                      I have been called a racist and neg rep for saying people have preference in marriage by sis asiya thoughh many agreed with me and reppd me jazkhallah khair to them.
                      wait for your neg rep bro.
                      Yep, you are not asiya's only victim lol...She gives me neg reps too as if I don't have a right to like whoever I like for marriage. She is a bit extreme in her views. People should be free to marry any muslim they want including one from their own background. You can only choose one spouse (well 4 for men) so you can't marry every race in the world anyway. She is saying you HAVE to want to marry EvERYBODY.People have other types of preferences that don't have to do with culture, so are those wrong as well? Some might prefer a spouse who lives in a certain part of the world. Who is to say what type of preferences are ok and others are not? You will be the one marrying the person and sharing your life with them. When you go home at the end of the day, the rest of the world is not going to be there so it is up to you to decide what you want as long as the person is halal for you. Last time I checked another muslim from the same culture is halal to marry just like a muslim from another one is halal to marry. Whichever one you choose is up to you. No one can dictate that to anyone. I am not going to choose a spouse just to prove to the rest of the world I am not racist.
                      Last edited by muslimahc; 06-04-12, 03:13 PM.
                      Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Qur'an 2:152]
                      Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."
                      [Al Quran 13:28]
                      ]

                      Comment


                      • Re: race and culture

                        I'm closing this thread due to the fact that it's descended into character assassination.

                        If you don't like someone's views, that's no reason to make personal attacks against them or post slanderous assumptions about them.
                        Last edited by dhak1yya; 06-04-12, 03:20 PM.
                        [CENTER]
                        [/CENTER]
                        [CENTER]
                        [/CENTER]

                        [SIZE=1][COLOR=dimgray]
                        [/COLOR][/SIZE]

                        Comment

                        Working...
                        X