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  • race and culture

    :salams we hear so often about the "cultural barriers" that make people say that they couldn't possibly marry a muslim from another race or nationality etc. so i thought it would be a good idea to try and understand exactly what it is people are doing in their "cultures" that make two muslims who live by islam, totally incompatible.

    for example, if u have the same language as another person, then thats not a prevention from marrying them. if u are born and raised in the same land as a person of another race, or chose to come and live amongst people of another race, then thats not an issue either because you are both familiar with exactly the same type of lifestyle, and chose to live amongst such people so they cant be all that weird or strange, or it would be too much to live amongst them.


    so what it is exactly that people in your culture do that is so different, that it makes it impossible for you to think about marrying another muslim from another race?
    "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

    The Prophet :saw: said:

    "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

    muslim

    Narrated 'Abdullah:

    The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


    "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

    By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

    [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]


  • #2
    Re: race and culture

    Originally posted by `asiya View Post
    So what it is exactly that people in your culture do that is so different, that it makes it impossible for you to think about marrying another muslim from another race?
    It is exceedingly difficult for a mother-in-law to subject a daughter-in-law to the ancient pre-Muslim traditions of savage contempt, dismissive scorn, and sneering disdain if the daughter-in-law doesn't speak the mother-in-law's language and/or considers such ancient pre-Muslim traditions to be a source of much merriment and giggling.

    Bullies can tolerate many things.

    But being laughed at or considered beside the point or unimportant can cause bullies to lose their will to live.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: race and culture

      Most, if not all of the sisters I am friends with are married to people from a different race/culture. In fact i'm struggling to think of anyone who did marry inside their own culture :rofl1:
      "And We will remove whatever is in their breasts of resentment, [so they will be] brothers, on thrones facing each other."
      Al Hijr: 47

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: race and culture

        At this moment, we are in a pivotal moment in time, Islam teaches us to respect our parents. Hence they adhere to a different time when cultres were lines that separated us. If i were to bring home a muslim from a different race it might cause problems because they dont see it us two muslims they see it as 2 cultres/family's and there are differences.

        These shouldn't matter but the day and age we live in it does, and the people that say it doesn't matter what your parents think, then i must be looking at different religion because what i've learnt is that they are too be respected the most, trust in your parents is like trust in allah.

        The reason i say we are in a pivotal time is because we have the ability for future generations to change this attitude, i have experience of wanting to get married to someone from a different race/caste/family background from my own and the battle you have to face it's not nice for anyone, but the ball is in our court, we need patience, it's not something that will change over night but with educated minds and people.!

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: race and culture

          Originally posted by Asma-SE View Post
          Most, if not all of the sisters I am friends with are married to people from a different race/culture. In fact i'm struggling to think of anyone who did marry inside their own culture :rofl1:
          me toooo, once i was thinking of all ziyad's lil baby friends - pretty much all of them r mixed. so iA their generation will not have these issues with getting married only within their "own" people. It wd b missions to track them down a proper match :p
          .: Rufaida :.
          .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.
          http://s61.photobucket.com/albums/h6...th_Silence.jpg
          “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
          but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
          ~ Ibn Atallah

          Ramadan Activities for Children
          <button id="tw_schedule_btn" class="tw-schedule-btn" style="padding: 4px 6px;position: absolute;left: 141px;top: 840px;background-color: #F7F7F7; background: linear-gradient(#FFF, #F0F0F0); border: 1px solid #CCC; color: #5F5F5F; cursor: pointer; font-weight: bold; text-shadow: 0 1px #FFF; white-space: nowrap;border-radius: 3px;font-size: 11px; display: none; z-index: 8675309">Schedule</button>

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          • #6
            Re: race and culture

            Originally posted by .: Anna :. View Post
            me toooo, once i was thinking of all ziyad's lil baby friends - pretty much all of them r mixed. so iA their generation will not have these issues with getting married only within their "own" people. It wd b missions to track them down a proper match :p
            Yeh I think aasiyah will be looking until the day she dies for someone part kosovan, part turkish, part polish, part nigerian, part libya, part toureg, part moroccan lol
            "And We will remove whatever is in their breasts of resentment, [so they will be] brothers, on thrones facing each other."
            Al Hijr: 47

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: race and culture

              & even when/if u find that one person with the matching mix, they may not b all that :p

              the main thing i hear ppl saying about this culture thing is for language and food but u can adapt, the difficulties are veryyyy over exagerated by many ppl
              .: Rufaida :.
              .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.
              http://s61.photobucket.com/albums/h6...th_Silence.jpg
              “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
              but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
              ~ Ibn Atallah

              Ramadan Activities for Children
              <button id="tw_schedule_btn" class="tw-schedule-btn" style="padding: 4px 6px;position: absolute;left: 141px;top: 840px;background-color: #F7F7F7; background: linear-gradient(#FFF, #F0F0F0); border: 1px solid #CCC; color: #5F5F5F; cursor: pointer; font-weight: bold; text-shadow: 0 1px #FFF; white-space: nowrap;border-radius: 3px;font-size: 11px; display: none; z-index: 8675309">Schedule</button>

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              • #8
                Re: race and culture

                Seriously.

                If you have one language in common then I don't get it :scratch:

                And food - that ones never been explained to me properly. Is it because you eat different foods?
                "And We will remove whatever is in their breasts of resentment, [so they will be] brothers, on thrones facing each other."
                Al Hijr: 47

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: race and culture

                  I dunno....I married an Australian and I swear they talk a different language sometimes.

                  Fortunately, I've watched Neighbours a few times, so I'm able to get the general idea of what they're on about. *thumbs up*

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: race and culture

                    Originally posted by Asma-SE View Post
                    Seriously.

                    If you have one language in common then I don't get it :scratch:

                    And food - that ones never been explained to me properly. Is it because you eat different foods?
                    i think its in case the wife cant cook those dishes as good as his mum? or cooks it in a different way
                    but it can b learnt anyway if he is that desperate to have the same food
                    .: Rufaida :.
                    .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.
                    http://s61.photobucket.com/albums/h6...th_Silence.jpg
                    “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
                    but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
                    ~ Ibn Atallah

                    Ramadan Activities for Children
                    <button id="tw_schedule_btn" class="tw-schedule-btn" style="padding: 4px 6px;position: absolute;left: 141px;top: 840px;background-color: #F7F7F7; background: linear-gradient(#FFF, #F0F0F0); border: 1px solid #CCC; color: #5F5F5F; cursor: pointer; font-weight: bold; text-shadow: 0 1px #FFF; white-space: nowrap;border-radius: 3px;font-size: 11px; display: none; z-index: 8675309">Schedule</button>

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: race and culture

                      Originally posted by .: Anna :. View Post
                      i think its in case the wife cant cook those dishes as good as his mum? or cooks it in a different way
                      but it can b learnt anyway if he is that desperate to have the same food
                      I didn't know marriage was supposed to be based on cooking competitions between mother in law and daughter in law..men!
                      Mrs B

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: race and culture

                        Its more to do with preserving cultural traditions and "ways" rather than anything on a religious level.
                        You are not aware of the consequences that would result (if you were granted what you desire) because what you seek might be to your detriment. (O soul) be conscious that your Master is more aware about your well-being than you are.

                        ~Ibn Al-Jawzee

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: race and culture

                          Originally posted by Ebony View Post
                          Its more to do with preserving cultural traditions and "ways" rather than anything on a religious level.
                          yes but what are these particular "traditions and ways" exactly ? thats the mysterious bit. i thought if ppl from different cultures explained their cultures traditions etc. then we could try to understand why its so hard for them to marry muslims of other races.
                          "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

                          The Prophet :saw: said:

                          "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

                          muslim

                          Narrated 'Abdullah:

                          The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


                          "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

                          By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

                          [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: race and culture

                            Originally posted by Ebony View Post
                            Its more to do with preserving cultural traditions and "ways" rather than anything on a religious level.
                            And most of these "ways" are a carbon copy of religious practices of hindus...
                            Mrs B

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: race and culture

                              everybody is happy to stick to their own cultures, it's not about doing things different, because lets face it, we all eat, cook, sleep, clean, breathe.

                              the fact is people dont want that change in their lives, why do you think this country is the way it is...people live to work and they have become so used to it they dont want to change, maybe not the best example but i hope you get my point.

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