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  • Multiple proposals

    :salams
    the boring ppl have pushed me to such lengths otherwise i know its unlike me to make silly threads/posts ahem :$
    is it okay or not okay to consider more than one proposal at a time? :scratch:

    lets just say a brother/sister has proposed to you and your considering it, but then another brother/sister propose to you not knowing somebody else has already proposed, is it okay to consider them both at the same time or not?
    55
    yeh i dont see the problem
    41.82%
    23
    no, its wrong
    58.18%
    32
    Jo kaam karta hai tu chup ke jahaan se
    koi dekhta hai tujhe aasmaan se

  • #2
    Re: Multiple proposals

    well dont say yes to anyone of them or lead them on, aslong as it is clear that its not a yes and only considering. also isnt there tht hadith abbout another bro shdnt interfere with another bro whos proposed to that same girl. vaguely remember sum1 else post it

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    • #3
      Re: Multiple proposals

      Well when your Wali proposes to a prospective spouse they won't really know if that person has been to proposed to already and falls on the family on how to handle it i guess... but i dunno one of my cousins she got two proposals recently both v.close to each other.
      Last edited by .Abu.Rambo.; 12-04-09, 10:03 PM.
      ‎"Listen with the ears of tolerance. See through the eyes of compassion. Speak with the language of love."
      Rumi RahimuAllah.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Multiple proposals

        very very common amongst Afghans.
        Behind every beautiful thing there is some.......KIND OF PAIN.. .

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Multiple proposals

          Ofcourse it is ok to consider multiple relationships, thats the whole joy of having arranged meetings..i would take a checklist with me and score them!


          (IM KIDDING...!) ofcourse its not ok, i wouldnt want to be treated like a chattel
          Mrs B

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Multiple proposals

            I dont what the problem is with saying yes I may consider it, because marriage is something you need to think about in so much depth.

            How ever dont just say yes and leave it for a long time, you need to leave it like a week a most.
            And He found you lost and guided you,
            ~ Qur'an (Ad Duhaa) 93:7 ~

            Salaah Reminders

            Guide us to the straight pain.
            " Ihdina-s-sirata-l-mustaqim "
            ~ Quran 1:6 ~

            الله أعلم

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Multiple proposals

              islamically you are not allowed to look into two if your a sister, look inot one , make your mind up and then move on.

              brothers can look into more then one.

              but i need to check my notes..

              ws

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Multiple proposals

                isit okay to not tell each of the 'candidates' that your also looking into other people?
                Jo kaam karta hai tu chup ke jahaan se
                koi dekhta hai tujhe aasmaan se

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Multiple proposals

                  again, for a brother, its said not to tell one your looking into another, as a brother can marry two, but for sisters its different im sure..maybe someone can post somthing from a scholar or student of knowledge..

                  (personally , id stick to one, and only ever look into one, otherwise its kinda like abit weird...)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Multiple proposals

                    Sisters cannot look at two brothers at one time.

                    Brothers can because they can marry more than one.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Multiple proposals

                      Originally posted by ahaneefah View Post
                      Sisters cannot look at two brothers at one time.

                      Brothers can because they can marry more than one.
                      serious...i dont think anyone said dat :D (kidding) (maybe best to check a online fatwa site)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Multiple proposals

                        ai hai why the brothers getting their beards in a twist, i went fatwah shopping, i found this


                        If a person has proposed marriage to a woman, it is not permitted for anyone else to offer a proposal to her, because of the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) which states that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man should offer a proposal of marriage over the proposal of his brother until the first one gives up or gives him permission.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4746).

                        There follow quotations from Ibn Hijr’s commentary which will shed more light on the matter:

                        The majority of scholars said: This amounts to a prohibition… The Shaafi’is and Hanbalis said: it is prohibited when the woman proposed to, or her appointed guardian, has stated that she accepts the offer, but if she has stated that she rejects this offer, it is not prohibited. If the second man does not know the situation, then he is permitted to propose marriage, because the basic principle is that proposing marriage is something permitted… If the woman has not answered either way, it is permitted.

                        http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/2450/brother%20proposal



                        im not really talking about the islamic stance since i said one brother/sister doesnt know that the person already has a proposal, im talking morally if you think its okay and should you tell the both proposals that you are considering others also?
                        Jo kaam karta hai tu chup ke jahaan se
                        koi dekhta hai tujhe aasmaan se

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Multiple proposals

                          :wswrwb:
                          Like someone, a sis cant consider two brothers at the same time because of the hadith
                          “No man should offer a proposal of marriage over the proposal of his brother until the first one gives up or gives him permission.”

                          I think its only fair to consider first, the one who actually proposed first.
                          "..And verily for everything that a slave loses there is a substitute, but the one who loses Allah will never find anything to replace Him."
                          [Related by Ibn al-Qayyim in ad-D‚' wad-Daw‚ Fasl 49]

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Multiple proposals

                            Originally posted by imported_MMS View Post
                            :salams
                            the boring ppl have pushed me to such lengths otherwise i know its unlike me to make silly threads/posts ahem :$
                            is it okay or not okay to consider more than one proposal at a time? :scratch:

                            lets just say a brother/sister has proposed to you and your considering it, but then another brother/sister propose to you not knowing somebody else has already proposed, is it okay to consider them both at the same time or not?
                            You should consider one person at a time.

                            I remember a brother asking him to consider marriage with him and I took his proposal serioualy, only to find out he had asked the same question to several women. He eventually chose one of them, whilst I wasnt considering anyone else at the time.

                            Its very rude and disrespectful. But thats my opinion and others may disagree.

                            This why people say its a cattle market/sweet shop/cookie jar out there because thats how brothers and sisters seem to treat it.


                            Visit: www.muslim-mums.co.uk

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Multiple proposals

                              Originally posted by ahaneefah View Post
                              Sisters cannot look at two brothers at one time.

                              Brothers can because they can marry more than one.
                              Thats if the intention is to marry them within a short space of time. Lets face it, alot of brothers will only be considering one initially and them may be in the future the second one will come along.


                              Visit: www.muslim-mums.co.uk

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