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Ladies would you mind livign with in laws? Men do you plan on making your wife do it?

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  • Re: Ladies would you mind livign with in laws? Men do you plan on making your wife do

    I wouldn't mind it like at the beginning of the marriage if we can't afford to live on our own just yet.

    But for the whole marriage, I don't know. Don't get me wrong I'd love my future husband's parents (and I hope he'd love mine) but I feel like during the first few years of marriage I would want to be alone with him. I wouldn't want my parents or his parents always up in our business you know.

    But of course if like the father passed away, or the mother and one of them needed to stay with us I'd be okay with that. I ain't that soulless! lol

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    • Re: Ladies would you mind livign with in laws? Men do you plan on making your wife do

      Originally posted by Ebony View Post
      What has looking after your (the men) parents got to do with making the wife tend to their needs? Its your responsibility to look after them - not hers :eek3:
      Lol that is pretty much the reason why men want their wife to agree to living with her in-laws, so that when they need looking after he can very typically say 'ahh shoot I would look after them but I've got to work today so.... could you?'
      One of three reasons why men want their wives living with them and their parents - 1. cos they can't afford their own house. 2. So that they don't have to leave their mummy and daddy and most importantly 3. so that their wife can look after his parents... so that he doesn't have to!

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      • Re: Ladies would you mind livign with in laws? Men do you plan on making your wife do

        No, no and no

        Gone are the days when men live at home with their parents forever, either getting our own place or we're just doing long distant marriage - he lives with his parents and I live with mine

        The hell am I leaving my parents to go and live with his

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        • Re: Ladies would you mind livign with in laws? Men do you plan on making your wife do

          As an only child, I am not entirely sure if I should move out or not. Now before people start saying look after my parents and all that, they won't be at that age where they need looking after for quite some time in sha Allah lol

          It would of course be more convenient to stay at home, but the lack of privacy is big negative. I really doubt there's gonna be mother in law daughter in law problems because my mum just isn't like that. In our own house we could do anything but then I'd always be thinking if I made the right choice or not.

          Hmmmm.....I'll just let the future wife choose lol

          However when it comes to my kids (in sha Allah) I will encourage them, if I get sons, to move out and remove the cultural stigma that is associated with it. Even mufti menk and others say that it is often a problem to live with in laws and I can definitely understand why. Somebody mentioned getting reward for the wife to live with the husbands parents and I have no problem in accepting that yes that is the case, but its hardly fard for her to live there. She won't be sinning for not living there. I think the best option is to get another house but close to the old house lol that way its the best of both worlds.
          Last edited by raze599; 27-09-14, 06:01 AM.

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          • Re: Ladies would you mind livign with in laws? Men do you plan on making your wife do

            No I couldn't for the long term, short term yes. my husband is from a culture where it is not expected to live with your parents forever, so it worked out for me.
            Fabi-ayyiala -i rabbikuma tukaththibani
            Then which of the favors of your Lord will ye deny?
            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr8DR8frP_s

            You are not here just to fill space or to be a background character in someone else's movie. Consider this: nothing would be the same if you did not exist. Every place you have ever been and everyone you have ever spoken to would be different without you. We are all connected, and we are all affected by the decisions and even the existence of those around us.

            Comment


            • Re: Ladies would you mind livign with in laws? Men do you plan on making your wife do

              Originally posted by Musicisme656
              Gotta break it down to a womans level I guess

              Ok lets say theres 2 couples; Couple A and Couple B. Both have a son and a daughter Son1 and daughter1 for couple A, and Son2 and daughter 2 for couple B.

              Son1 gets married to daughter2
              Son2 gets married to daughter 1

              The daughters live with their husbands family.

              Now couple A has son1 and daughter2 to take care of them
              Couple B has son2 and daughter 1 to take care of them

              In the end both couples have someone to look out for them (because the sons didn't listen to their stupid wives and move out), but if both newly-wed couples moved out the parents would be alone and helpless. I win.
              1. Most parents are 40-50 years and don't need 'taken caring' when their kids get married. I would be hightly insulted if my son thought I could not take care of my self and needed help in my 40s/50s.

              2. It is not 'stupid' to not want to live with in-laws. Just dont marry someone who doesn't share your views of the future. No need to resort to petty insults.
              Fabi-ayyiala -i rabbikuma tukaththibani
              Then which of the favors of your Lord will ye deny?
              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr8DR8frP_s

              You are not here just to fill space or to be a background character in someone else's movie. Consider this: nothing would be the same if you did not exist. Every place you have ever been and everyone you have ever spoken to would be different without you. We are all connected, and we are all affected by the decisions and even the existence of those around us.

              Comment


              • Re: Ladies would you mind livign with in laws? Men do you plan on making your wife do

                These arguments just boil down to cultural differences. It's not 'wrong' to live or not to live with parents, as long as you take care of them when they are in need. If you are insistant on following your cultural norms or don't want to, marry someone who shares your POV. No need for pages and pages of arguments kids.
                Fabi-ayyiala -i rabbikuma tukaththibani
                Then which of the favors of your Lord will ye deny?
                http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr8DR8frP_s

                You are not here just to fill space or to be a background character in someone else's movie. Consider this: nothing would be the same if you did not exist. Every place you have ever been and everyone you have ever spoken to would be different without you. We are all connected, and we are all affected by the decisions and even the existence of those around us.

                Comment


                • Re: Ladies would you mind livign with in laws? Men do you plan on making your wife do

                  Originally posted by nousername View Post
                  These arguments just boil down to cultural differences. It's not 'wrong' to live or not to live with parents, as long as you take care of them when they are in need. If you are insistant on following your cultural norms or don't want to, marry someone who shares your POV. No need for pages and pages of arguments kids.
                  Agreed.

                  Comment


                  • Re: Ladies would you mind livign with in laws? Men do you plan on making your wife do

                    Originally posted by nousername View Post
                    1. Most parents are 40-50 years and don't need 'taken caring' when their kids get married. I would be hightly insulted if my son thought I could not take care of my self and needed help in my 40s/50s.

                    2. It is not 'stupid' to not want to live with in-laws. Just dont marry someone who doesn't share your views of the future. No need to resort to petty insults.
                    1) I wasn't talking about 40s or 50s, but more like 70s and 80s.
                    2) hmmm the answer to all our problems with marriage I guess

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