Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Are You Married? Did you marry because..

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #61
    Re: Are You Married? Did you marry because..

    There is a lot of cultural information coming through, if this is cultural debate then please carry on. But i do recal at the begining the brother said 'Muslims only'.

    Islamically you are allowed to get to know the person you are marrying before you marry them. To the extent that you can see your wife without the full hijab cover, and yes this is in a hadith. You are even allowed to look properly yes very properly, the Prophet SAW told a Sahaba who was going to marry someone from the Ansar, that he should look at her properly for some of the Ansar women have a defect in their eye.

    Subhanallah look at the detail, not a blind eye, but a defect in the eye, that they should look out for the defect.

    Secondly, in another hadith he saw says not to marry if there is no attraction between you.

    Thirdly there is example of sahab and Taabieen that they would go hide behind palm trees and around corners just to collect information and learn about the behavior of their future wife.

    Finally, the heart is in Allah swt hands, "LOVE" is not something that only comes about in marriage or after marriage or that marriage is a pre condition for it. You can love a person and do absolutely nothing haram.

    The depth of love will obviously increase the more you know the person and the more you share. There is no question that love after marriage is much more calmer and deep rooted, and that is because the hijab is removed from everything, the one person that knows everything is your spouse. This itself builds trust and trust is a big part of love.



    and this is based on the Ayah of the Quran

    If We Had Perfect Power Like Allah Subhanahu wa Ta 'ala To Determine Our Destinies, and Perfect Vision Like Allah Subhanahu wa Ta 'ala To See The Future and Know What Is Best For Us, We Would Choose Exactly The Fate That Allah Chose For Us.

    Comment


    • #62
      Re: Are You Married? Did you marry because..

      I couldnt have married my husband without even speaking to him, I dont think i'd let my children marry someone they'd never met, maybe if I knew them, but even then. What if you didnt get along with your spouse AT ALL?
      "And We will remove whatever is in their breasts of resentment, [so they will be] brothers, on thrones facing each other."
      Al Hijr: 47

      Comment


      • #63
        Re: Are You Married? Did you marry because..

        Originally posted by Asma-SE View Post
        I couldnt have married my husband without even speaking to him, I dont think i'd let my children marry someone they'd never met, maybe if I knew them, but even then. What if you didnt get along with your spouse AT ALL?
        Then there is a word which starts with a D
        الصلوۃ والسلام علیک یا سیدی یارسول اللہ

        Comment


        • #64
          Re: Are You Married? Did you marry because..

          Yeh, and that a lovely thing isnt it, which could have been avoided if you met your wife and saw the thing in her which made you divorce.
          "And We will remove whatever is in their breasts of resentment, [so they will be] brothers, on thrones facing each other."
          Al Hijr: 47

          Comment


          • #65
            Re: Are You Married? Did you marry because..

            Originally posted by Asma-SE View Post
            Yeh, and that a lovely thing isnt it, which could have been avoided if you met your wife and saw the thing in her which made you divorce.
            Yeah but although it was my decision to marry but my parents picked the girl for me. Now if there would be anything wrong with her, ill go to my parents and question.
            Now my brothers marriage was purely love. He brought his own wife in, from a different section with different tradition and diff language. We know how many things are wrong with her and my brother knows but he cant say anything to my parents because it was his own choice. Get me?
            الصلوۃ والسلام علیک یا سیدی یارسول اللہ

            Comment


            • #66
              Re: Are You Married? Did you marry because..

              Alhamdulillah this is something from your culture, common practice, it seems strange to me perhaps because it is not something that we do. And your brother may not have had a better marriage simply because your parent picked her, different culture, different language, alhmadulillah its a blessing. So are the similarities between people which go further then simply cultural
              "And We will remove whatever is in their breasts of resentment, [so they will be] brothers, on thrones facing each other."
              Al Hijr: 47

              Comment


              • #67
                Re: Are You Married? Did you marry because..

                Originally posted by Kasim2k7 View Post
                Yeah but although it was my decision to marry but my parents picked the girl for me. Now if there would be anything wrong with her, ill go to my parents and question.
                Now my brothers marriage was purely love. He brought his own wife in, from a different section with different tradition and diff language. We know how many things are wrong with her and my brother knows but he cant say anything to my parents because it was his own choice. Get me?
                So you are saying avoid the sunnah as long as you have someone to blame then it is all ok?

                why not follow the sunnah, then there will be a happy marriage and no blaming parents or anything?
                If We Had Perfect Power Like Allah Subhanahu wa Ta 'ala To Determine Our Destinies, and Perfect Vision Like Allah Subhanahu wa Ta 'ala To See The Future and Know What Is Best For Us, We Would Choose Exactly The Fate That Allah Chose For Us.

                Comment


                • #68
                  Re: Are You Married? Did you marry because..

                  Originally posted by Kal-El View Post
                  Everyone experiences different types of love. And to most, love is under rated
                  Salaam Akhi often what People perceive as Love is Simply Lust, aka Pre-marital Relations, girl friend-boyfriend relationships etc,

                  :jkk:
                  http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                  "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                  – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

                  Comment


                  • #69
                    Re: Are You Married? Did you marry because..

                    Originally posted by Kasim2k7 View Post
                    Yeah but although it was my decision to marry but my parents picked the girl for me. Now if there would be anything wrong with her, ill go to my parents and question.
                    Now my brothers marriage was purely love. He brought his own wife in, from a different section with different tradition and diff language. We know how many things are wrong with her and my brother knows but he cant say anything to my parents because it was his own choice. Get me?
                    IF the Decision was Yours and you were Not forced, then there is No way you can Blame your Parents ...

                    It would be Absurd to Blame someone else, least of all your Parents for YOUR Decision ... they can't be held responsible for any Marital Problems you have, purely because they guided you ...

                    I'd rather not comment on the "Purely Love" marriages ... I've seen and heard Way too Many of the "Purely Love" Marriages, which tend to end in "Purely Divorce" ...

                    no pun intended ...

                    to re-iterate you have to Own up for your decision, which you made without any Compulsion ... there is no passing the Buck in Islam ...

                    Every Soul is responsible for its own Intentions and deeds ...

                    :jkk:
                    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      Re: Are You Married? Did you marry because..

                      Originally posted by Medievalist View Post
                      Joha I dont know how u compare lust at first sight and the way I got married. I think yr chatting a load of tosh.
                      I probably am, just muck stirring, not making any personal comments :)

                      still don't see any real difference though...it's a bit hypocritical to turn around to those who believe in 'love at first sight' and tell them they're shallow for deciding to marry based on one 'look' and then turn to those who marry after seeing a photo and hearing a few words and say they're not, no?
                      ...sermons from this minbar come with tongue planted quite firmly in cheek.


                      "Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need -
                      a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends,
                      worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you,
                      a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear,
                      and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing."

                      -- Jerome K. Jerome
                      (Three Men in a Boat)

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        Re: Are You Married? Did you marry because..

                        Originally posted by RazielTemp View Post
                        Salaam Akhi often what People perceive as Love is Simply Lust, aka Pre-marital Relations, girl friend-boyfriend relationships etc,

                        :jkk:
                        Not often....rarely!
                        I am Bangladeshi and I recognize Palestine as the #194 country

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          Re: Are You Married? Did you marry because..

                          Originally posted by Joha View Post
                          I probably am, just muck stirring, not making any personal comments :)

                          still don't see any real difference though...it's a bit hypocritical to turn around to those who believe in 'love at first sight' and tell them they're shallow for deciding to marry based on one 'look' and then turn to those who marry after seeing a photo and hearing a few words and say they're not, no?
                          wel then thats the thing..it isnt love at first sight is it? seeing a photo/ looking at sum1 for the first time dusnt mean u love them ..it means u like the way they look... cos thats just it..you see their look not their personality...

                          ^^^^ seeing sum1 for the first time in person/picture is the same thing i think

                          but i think those people who do look at each other first time and then later get to know each other (get married) and fall in love for real..those people will stil say it wos love at first sight and at this point they kind of can?..bcos now they reli do love each other?

                          i dnt know if this is clear but yh :D
                          "Do they not see the birds above them, spreading out their wings and folding them in? None upholds them except the Most Gracious. Verily, He is the All-Seer of everything" ..Surah Mulk..

                          Comment


                          • #73
                            Re: Are You Married? Did you marry because..

                            Originally posted by Kasim2k7 View Post
                            Yeah but although it was my decision to marry but my parents picked the girl for me. Now if there would be anything wrong with her, ill go to my parents and question.
                            Now my brothers marriage was purely love. He brought his own wife in, from a different section with different tradition and diff language. We know how many things are wrong with her and my brother knows but he cant say anything to my parents because it was his own choice. Get me?
                            i feel thats a bit sad cos at the end of the day whether your parents chose sum1 4 you..they dint make the final 'yes or no' it wos you who said .. yes .. thats why you got married

                            and thats the same with your brother .. i think its a bit sad becos especially in cultured families if sum1 chooses their own person (evry1 choses who they wana mary - jus like you did) if sumthin goes rong its like sayin 'your fault'

                            and then if the arranged marriege, who the parents set the person up with, goes rong..here they say 'oh it wasnt ment to be' and the poor persons left with that

                            but evryfin hapens for a reason so you knw
                            Last edited by Jilbabi; 04-05-08, 02:41 PM.
                            "Do they not see the birds above them, spreading out their wings and folding them in? None upholds them except the Most Gracious. Verily, He is the All-Seer of everything" ..Surah Mulk..

                            Comment

                            Working...
                            X