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Major sin..Zina, now what? Please give sum advise

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  • Major sin..Zina, now what? Please give sum advise

    I am a 22 year old muslim female who is married and has a 2 year old child. I am in U.S.A and the guy is in Pakistan, it is not working out between me and him since we got married. I never tried to sponsor him here or anything. He never gave me a divorce and let me go.
    Recently some thing major happened. I was sexually active with a guy and ended up becoming pregnant, i dont agree with abortion so i just kept they baby. I did not tell this guy who i am dating that i am not divorced yet and This guy with who's baby i am pregnant wants to do nikkah before the baby comes, and so do I. but my husband who is in pakistan will not divorce me. i asked my mom to help but she wont either as she is very mad in me getting pregnant without getting married. but this was an accident on which i am very much embarrased also, and ask Allah for forgiveness day and night. my dad is very strict and my mom made me swear on her on not to let him find out about this truth, she tells me i have no choice but to run away from the house.
    Now i need help, i want to find out how can i get divorce and marry the guy with who i am pregnant?
    i want to be sin free, i want to ask Allah for forgiveness and i need major help right now. my family does not support me and i do not want to give birth to this baby while being married to my husband..
    i did some research and found out that in islam if you perform adultery while being married then that nikkah is not valid.?
    I am so embarrased to talk about my problem with a scholar near my mosque, and i am alsmost 7 months now, i cannot delay this problem..
    Jizak Allah if you guys help.
    May Allah forgive me for my sins - Ameen

    PLEASE DONT BE DISRESPECTFULL!!!
    Last edited by aisha.aish2007; 14-04-08, 03:48 PM. Reason: to add more.

  • #2
    Re: Major sin..Zina, now what? Please give sum advise

    Lol

    Edit: I see you've edited to respond to me, you expect some kind of sympathy or respect? I have an idea - um how about you show some respect to your husband instead of sleeping around and getting pregnant? Just tell him what you did and I'm sure he'd be more than happy to drop you.

    I feel sorry for the child
    Last edited by Kal-El; 14-04-08, 03:52 PM.
    If you read this closely enough you might spot the secret message hidden in it

    Mr President, You Are Wrong

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    • #3
      Re: Major sin..Zina, now what? Please give sum advise

      Originally posted by Kal-El View Post
      Lol
      Please be courteous as you dont know what i might be going through. Being a muslim you can't make fun or laught at others, especially if they are going throught what i am.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Major sin..Zina, now what? Please give sum advise

        :start:

        :salams

        :( :sub: sister you feel right into a trap and I think you should consult a Scholar, people here will only give their opinions and we haven’t been in this situation (Alhamdulillah) so we’re just guessing on a situation we have no clue about.

        Your situation is very distressing to read; there isn’t an easy way out of this- you are seven months pregnant, in a few months you will have a child which Alhamdulillah you didn’t abort. At least you didn’t take another person’s life but i think you should consult a Scholar as soon as possible- it's their job to advise you :insha:

        :wswrwb:
        Allah and His angels call down blessings on the Prophet . O you who believe! call down blessings on him and ask for complete peace and safety for him :inlove: (33:56)

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        • #5
          Re: Major sin..Zina, now what? Please give sum advise

          Originally posted by aisha.aish2007 View Post
          Please be courteous as you dont know what i might be going through. Being a muslim you can't make fun or laught at others, especially if they are going throught what i am.
          I bet you weren't preaching one night 7 months ago.
          If you read this closely enough you might spot the secret message hidden in it

          Mr President, You Are Wrong

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Major sin..Zina, now what? Please give sum advise

            Originally posted by Kal-El View Post
            I bet you weren't preaching one night 7 months ago.
            she acknowledges her mistake, why rub it in??

            i think if there is a child involved you might have to come clean about the whole thing, you cant run and hide forever

            and there is also the 2 year old child to think about as well, will you keep this child away from its real father forever??
            Jo kaam karta hai tu chup ke jahaan se
            koi dekhta hai tujhe aasmaan se

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            • #7
              Re: Major sin..Zina, now what? Please give sum advise

              You can all frown for her all you like, aside from the child the real victim to this crime is the husband whom she betrayed unconditionally. My sympathies are in order but don't you all forget that; the one who did this evil. 'Sexually active with another man', that's a joke man. That's not a mistake, that's a choice in which she made. Imagine how her husband would feel reading this thread with your responses.
              Last edited by Kal-El; 14-04-08, 04:15 PM.
              If you read this closely enough you might spot the secret message hidden in it

              Mr President, You Are Wrong

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Major sin..Zina, now what? Please give sum advise

                Originally posted by Kal-El View Post
                You can all frown for her all you like, aside from the child the real victim to this crime is the husband whom she betrayed unconditionally. My sympathies are in order but don't you all forget that; the one who did this evil. 'Sexually active with another man', that's a joke man. Imagine how he'd feel reading this thread with your responses.
                granted musfti saab, but shes trying to move on not pontificate in her sin. thats between her and Allah. youve made your point.
                Sayyiduna Umar (Allah be pleased with him) said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) say, “If you relied on Allah as He should be relied on, He would provide for you as He provides for birds.
                They go out hungry in the early morning, and return full in the evening." [Tirmidhi]


                sigpic

                Do not try to run away from trials and tribulations, but endure them with patience. They cannot be avoided, and there is nothing for it but to endure them with patience. How can you expect the whole of this world, and all that has been created therein, to undergo change and transformation just to suit your convenience? The Prophets are the best of all creatures, yet they have always had to suffer afflictions and so it is for their followers, those who tread in their footsteps as they walk along their highway, emulating their example.


                Shaikh Abdul Qadir al-Jilani

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                • #9
                  Re: Major sin..Zina, now what? Please give sum advise

                  How about the fact that her husband isn't divorcing her and is not willing to be with her either? He's just left her in limbo.....and so he has contributed to the fitnah this sister has gone through. He should have just divorced her.

                  Aishah, I also advise you to also seek the advice of a trusted imam or scholar. In the meantime, you should also repent and ask Allah for forgiveness and try and become a better Muslim. Do as many good deeds as possible and learn more about your deen.

                  Don't be embarrassed to speak to an imam or scholar as there is no embarassment when you want to right a wrong. His duty is to advise you sister not make things worse, so don't feel embarrassed. I think it would have been better for you to have felt emabarrassed when you were committing the sin. I'm not putting you down just saying that there shouldn't be any embarassment in making things better.
                  Last edited by Umm_Hanzalah; 14-04-08, 04:20 PM.
                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZVEydn3RKk

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                  • #10
                    Re: Major sin..Zina, now what? Please give sum advise

                    Now that you know that you have sinned and are repenting sincerelly, and acknoledge the fact that you are currently in a haraam relationship. I suggest you speak to a scholar asap.

                    No one here is qualified enough to give you decent advice.
                    Tajweed lessons: RSS Feed

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                    • #11
                      Re: Major sin..Zina, now what? Please give sum advise

                      InshaAllah i think you should go and speak to a respected scholar somewhere near you. The forum isnt the best place to come and disclose such personal details or for asking for what to do with your personal life.

                      What you have done or not done is between you and Allah (swt). InshaAllah i pray your situation is resolved and that Allah (swt) forgives your sins and all of ours no matter how small or big. Ameen.

                      Another thing- we as muslims shouldnt disclose our sins to people. I know youve only posted this on the forum cos youre in desperate need of some help and advice but honestly the best thing for you to do is go speak to a respected scholar who will inshaAllah keep such matters confidential and have some sort of concrete advice for you.
                      *~* Learn Patience from Aasiyah (RA); Loyalty from Khadhija (RA); Sincerity from Aisha (RA) and Steadfastness from Fatima (RA).*~*

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                      • #12
                        Re: Major sin..Zina, now what? Please give sum advise

                        Originally posted by Kal-El View Post
                        You can all frown for her all you like, aside from the child the real victim to this crime is the husband whom she betrayed unconditionally. My sympathies are in order but don't you all forget that; the one who did this evil. 'Sexually active with another man', that's a joke man. Imagine how he'd feel reading this thread with your responses.



                        This makes it clear that if there is a true repentance along with sin concealment, Allah will forgive as He Almighty is the All-Forgiving. Referring to this, He Almighty says:



                        brother who are we to judge?[
                        "Say: 'O My servants who have transgressed against your own souls, do not despair of God's mercy, for God forgives all sins. It is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.'" [Quran, 39:53]

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                        • #13
                          Re: Major sin..Zina, now what? Please give sum advise

                          Can a mod please close this thread, and delete it, and please take the issue to
                          Mullah_Din

                          , he is a scholar and can take care of it. These are matters of hudood and they should not be discussed in public, for the people will lose haya on the issue, plus the right resolution will not be reached when this is discussed in the open.

                          Sister who is questioning, please pm Mullah_Din, he is a scholar he can inshallah help you and guide you as to what to do.
                          If We Had Perfect Power Like Allah Subhanahu wa Ta 'ala To Determine Our Destinies, and Perfect Vision Like Allah Subhanahu wa Ta 'ala To See The Future and Know What Is Best For Us, We Would Choose Exactly The Fate That Allah Chose For Us.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Major sin..Zina, now what? Please give sum advise

                            Originally posted by Um_yusuf View Post
                            Dear scholars. As-Salamu `Alaykum. Thank you very much for the wonderful service you provide. I have an urgent question related to the applicability of the legal punishment for adultery in case the adulterer and the adulteress are serious about marriage after their repentance. My question is: Can repentance and true intention for marriage sufficient to drop off the applicability of Hadd in case of Zina? Is there a difference if the issue reaches public authorities or remained a secret?


                            Wa`alaykum As-Salaamu Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.

                            In The Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

                            All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.









                            This makes it clear that if there is a true repentance along with sin concealment, Allah will forgive as He Almighty is the All-Forgiving. Referring to this, He Almighty says:

                            Elaborating more on the issue in point, Dr. Wahbah Az-Zuhayli, head of the Dep. of Islamic Jurisprudence at the Faculty of Shari`ah, Damascus, adds:



                            However, the dire consequences of Zina maybe mitigated if they seriously determined to marry. Marriage in such cases is a procedure which is usually done by some Shari`ah courts. However, marriage is no more than a concealment that uncovers the sinners.



                            Thus, the applicability of the Hadd can not be waived if the issue reached the legal authorities.



                            If you have any further comments, please don't hesitate to write back!

                            May Allah guide you to the straight path, and guide you to that which pleases Him, Amen.





                            Allah Almighty knows best


                            brother who are we to judge?[
                            What is this, Lets Criticise The Guy With The Simba Avatar Day I wasn't judging her and I wouldn't want to. What she did is obvious, shes confessed it and now is with child. My sentiments are clear on the matter, but I find it a little silly to be the one to be criticised in all this because my sympathy is with the child and the husband, and not an ounce for her whom you've taken up to as some sort of fallen angel whose lost her halo. We all do wrong, we all sin and will in our lifetimes unfortunately, but there are scopes and measures of that - some can easily be forgiven overlooked, and others can never in my eyes.

                            If one of your spouses, god forbid, one day does this to you - let them post here so I can shower them with sympathy and hopefully you wont be upset when I forget you in my duas. That's wrong, and it's unfair on you. Anyway, everyone has a different view on it, I have my own and it aint changing any time soon.

                            Let Allah (swt) judge her.
                            Last edited by Kal-El; 14-04-08, 04:41 PM.
                            If you read this closely enough you might spot the secret message hidden in it

                            Mr President, You Are Wrong

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Major sin..Zina, now what? Please give sum advise

                              Sister I advise you to go speak to a scholar immediately. You should not broadcast your sins as on the day of judgement we will be witnesses against you. Alhamdulilah you did not abort the child but do you know what the punishment for adultery is?

                              May Allah forgive you for your sins and guide you to the best solution. Ameen.

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