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Do you have expectations?

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  • #61
    Re: Do you have expectations?

    Originally posted by Kubs View Post
    Deen, Deen, Deen, Character, Personality.....and then Looks.
    :salams
    :up: ....we definately dont want to be living the rest of our lives with a shallow person.

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    • #62
      Re: Do you have expectations?

      :start:

      :salams

      Originally posted by UkhtAlMuslimeen View Post
      :salams
      :up: ....we definately dont want to be living the rest of our lives with a shallow person.
      :sub: true

      Some brothers are pretty bad, they ask for 'modern' women i.e. not too fussed on praying, doesn't wear Hidjaab, and care about the Dunya more the Aakirah :(
      :sub: i fidn that sad cuz they don't realise but actually asking...yes they actually state in their 'marriage requirements' they don't want a woman covered up - a modern woman they are risking the happiness of their future, their wives future and their children's future :sub: :(

      :wswrwb:
      Allah and His angels call down blessings on the Prophet . O you who believe! call down blessings on him and ask for complete peace and safety for him :inlove: (33:56)

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      • #63
        Re: Do you have expectations?

        Originally posted by *IslamicGirl* View Post
        :start:
        :sub: true
        Some brothers are pretty bad, they ask for 'modern' women i.e. not too fussed on praying, doesn't wear Hidjaab, and care about the Dunya more the Aakirah :(
        :sub: i fidn that sad cuz they don't realise but actually asking...yes they actually state in their 'marriage requirements' they don't want a woman covered up - a modern woman they are risking the happiness of their future, their wives future and their children's future :sub: :(
        :wswrwb:
        walaykum asalam
        yes, subhanallah i have herd of this...its sooo stupid!
        these are the men who want trophy wives....
        but, they do realise their mistake...when they have kids, and there daughter wants to dresss like mama ...
        but anyway, insha'Allah Allah will guide us to know the right from the worng.


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        • #64
          Re: Do you have expectations?

          Kubs...Definetly InshAllaah.
          As we know the Christians go for beauty...
          Jews for wealth...
          And the pagan arabs for status...
          And Rasul (saw) advised his Ummah to take DEEN InshAllaah

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          • #65
            Re: Do you have expectations?

            ^ I didn't know that about the christian s, jews n pagans...*rolleyes*
            ''You can't separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace without freedom''- MalcolmX:freedom:
            www.feesabilillah.com
            www.freefilistin.com
            www.freesheeshan.com

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            • #66
              Re: Do you have expectations?

              Originally posted by *IslamicGirl* View Post
              :start:

              :salams



              :sub: true

              Some brothers are pretty bad, they ask for 'modern' women i.e. not too fussed on praying, doesn't wear Hidjaab, and care about the Dunya more the Aakirah :(
              :sub: i fidn that sad cuz they don't realise but actually asking...yes they actually state in their 'marriage requirements' they don't want a woman covered up - a modern woman they are risking the happiness of their future, their wives future and their children's future :sub: :(

              :wswrwb:
              that's nothing . i read a convert's story one time where the sister wasn't Muslim when she married her husband. and after 8 years of marriage she decided to take shahada. and when she became Muslim she said problems begin to arise she said her husband didn't like the fact she was wearing hijab and making salaat on time all the time. so she said now her and her husband don't even talk about Islam because she knows it will lead to another argument.

              what kinda of a Muslim man gets upsets when his wife converts to the true religion?
              Say, O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”
              (Surah Az Zumar, (Chapter 39: Verse 53)

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              • #67
                Re: Do you have expectations?

                :start:

                :salams

                Originally posted by sis_niqabi View Post

                what kinda of a Muslim man gets upsets when his wife converts to the true religion?
                :sub: :(

                what a complete bozo, :sub: amazing that RasoolAllah Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him and his family encouraged men to marry women for the sake of the Deen rather than the other wordly things such as status, wealth or beauty

                The thing that shocked me was that the man specifically asked for a woman who doesn't wear a Hidjaab- despite being Muslim himself, i think there is a lack of modesty in men such as these people, if they had Gheerah they wouldn't demand such silly things that are destructive in the long run.
                :wswrwb:
                Allah and His angels call down blessings on the Prophet . O you who believe! call down blessings on him and ask for complete peace and safety for him :inlove: (33:56)

                Comment


                • #68
                  "Past the seeker as he prayed came the crippled and the beggar and the beaten. And seeing them...he cried, "Great God, how is it that a loving creator can see such things and yet do nothing about them?"...God said, "I did do something. I made you."" -- Sufi Teaching

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                  • #69
                    Re: Do you have expectations?

                    My wife will like videogames, and cars, and have the same taste in humour and literature as me
                    If you read this closely enough you might spot the secret message hidden in it

                    Mr President, You Are Wrong

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                    • #70
                      Re: Do you have expectations?

                      i hav expectations to a certain extent.

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                      • #71
                        Re: Do you have expectations?

                        You're right, it's much, much easier for us non-muslims: we grow up with the opposite gender, and it's not really a surprise when we start having closer relations.

                        Overall, I think it's also much easier for us to find a real soul-mate, a person who shares our interests and our outlook on life: simply because we have so many opportunities to interact.

                        To a certain extent, our problem is usually a problem of choice: since contacts are (normally) quite easy, choosing can be very tricky.

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                        • #72
                          Re: Do you have expectations?

                          I think everyone should have certain expectations just so long as they're arnt 101 and are reasonable. We should all acknowledge that everyone has faults and wanting them to be a certain way dosnt mean they will be hence allowing for compromises and understanding.
                          What we fail to recogonize in others, is what we will never see and understand in ourselves..Keep it real.

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                          • #73
                            Re: Do you have expectations?

                            Originally posted by *IslamicGirl* View Post
                            :start:

                            :salams



                            :sub: true

                            Some brothers are pretty bad, they ask for 'modern' women i.e. not too fussed on praying, doesn't wear Hidjaab, and care about the Dunya more the Aakirah :(
                            :sub: i fidn that sad cuz they don't realise but actually asking...yes they actually state in their 'marriage requirements' they don't want a woman covered up - a modern woman they are risking the happiness of their future, their wives future and their children's future :sub: :(

                            :wswrwb:
                            Actually it makes perfect sense. If a Muslim man or woman enjoys going ot the cinema, listening to music, isn't overly concerned with making sure they do their daily prayers, enjoys going to restaurants with groups of friends across gender and religious groups....why would any such person want a conservative and strict Muslim to marry? Why would a guy of that description want to marry someone who wears a niqaab?

                            For some people, conservative and traditional religious adherence is of utmost importance and they would probably get on well with partners like them. For others, religious adherence is acted out in other ways, and social interaction takes place in ways which aren't so traditional; it makes sense that they would seek partners who think similarly to them.

                            As we know the Christians go for beauty...
                            Jews for wealth...
                            And the pagan arabs for status...
                            Yes - where would the forum be without the customary interjection of racism and prejudice...

                            Deen, Deen, Deen, Character, Personality.....and then Looks.
                            Physical attraction is incredibly important in both the short and long term. Everyone needs that sort of attention, and everyone wants to give that sort of attention; if those cannot be fulfilled in a relationship then that relationship will be threatened severely.

                            In reality, with a lot of South Asians, status or class is very important, with an informal caste system still in operation in some cases. A person has to come from the right region of India, or the right sort of town or village in Pakistan. Someone from Dhakka can't marry a Sylhet Bangladeshi...and so forth. marrying for status is just as shallow or as deep as marrying for looks.

                            And equally, marrying for money is the same. Often money comes into it without the person even thinking it's a factor; there's talk of profession, what kind of house a person has...it's a question of wealth.

                            There's an irony in the way Islamic marriages are conducted. The assumption often is that because that introduction-based or 'arranged' marriages are better, more legitimate and less shallow. In fact, if a person doesn't know their prospective partner very well, the only judgments that they can make are usually based on the shallow and the superficial. Judgments are made about people based on what they look like, what they wear, what they do for a living, what kind of house they live in, what kind of car they drive...you can't get anything useful from those introductory conversations that are arranged, simply because there is too much pressure and the poor couple, watched by the third party are always checking themselves, to come across 'well', whilst the opposite number will always be struggling to get behind that facade. And the same is happening the other way around.
                            "%[email protected]+will~n*t/\[email protected]?=the$e_(thought$)&the`$train<I-am-und£r>

                            囧

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