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  • It's all over!

    :lailah:
    Salaam,
    i posted on this site some time ago about the difficulties i was having with my husband.
    i married my husband out of choice..i have been married 9 months.on 29/03/08 i left my husband after he beat me mercilissly like a dog all because i said to someone that "married life is hard".he stopped my family coming to my house, stopped me from having any friends or going out. he rang my father threatening him and threatening to burn my clothes i had no choice but to call the Police. He didn't stop he then WALKED into my house shouting where i was..thankfully i was not there and he threatened my mum and told her he will give me TALAQ.
    i am not proud but yesterday i had him arrested on 8 counts of assualt. he sent me a tex message saying he will give me TALAQ (2 now). He told the Police officer it was self-defence but couldn't explain how he defended himself..i had done nothing.for 9 months even when we lived with his family he beat me, i told his father, he ignored me, his mum saw it..she ignored it..because i was not their blood and not their choice.
    when he kept banging my head on the floor and kicking me and kicking me..i was silently praying that Allah send me death..but i did not die..i asked him to forgive me for the sake of Allah and to have fear for he is watching it did not stop him..he came and stragnled me till i blacked out.
    my father went to speak with his father who said you gave rishta for Allah i have no involvment!my son has done nothing wrong your daughter swore at him..as Allah is my witness i have never swore at him/his family even when they have swore to my face.

  • #2
    Re: It's all over!

    Assalamun alaykum.. I read your posted with hard deeply in my heart.. i wonder that r ur husband was muslim ? i dont believe he still is muslim because a muslim man cant kick , hit his wife even she to bamboozled to him.. yes he can leave and divorce wife but he cant hit or kick and or aspersion to her..
    I see you are good muslim woman and i believe that ALLAH will help you and ur life will be better than past .. Be patient and wait that what will give decision ALLAH about ur...


    S.a

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    • #3
      Re: It's all over!

      wa'alaikum salaam sis...

      there's no words to describe how sad i feel to hear your marriage has ended up like this and the suffering you had to go thru... :(

      i can't believe there are men out there who treat women so badly (so evil)...:( they do not deserved to be call our brothers unless they repent and willing to change for a better person... as for his family... they are what made the man...

      may Allah make things easier and better for you from now on.... -pray:
      "There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path." - Morpheus, The Matrix. :hidban:

      "It would not be reasonable in me if I did not serve Him Who created me, and to Whom ye shall (all) be brought back." Surah 36:22. Ya Sin (Yusuf Ali Translation)

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      • #4
        Re: It's all over!

        :wswrwb: sis

        Really sorry to hear all you've been through, it's horrific, tragic.. May Allah(swt) forgive you for any mistake you made, grant you sabr, strengthen your relationship with your parents, and grant you a pious god-fearing husband who will be loving and fulfil your rights.

        I guess this was what was written for you.. what hit you could never have missed, what missed you could never have hit.

        Don't let it be a waste.. learn from this.. the big lessons here are clearly respecting the opinions of your parents before fighting to marry someone for "love".. and also when it comes to relationships started before marriage, we can't be surprised if we get problems afterwards because of the wrong way it started.. wrong actions, unless we recognise and repent, tend to have bad consequences that we may not see immediately, but some months some years later the effects can manifest themselves and can be big trial for you..

        As for your ex-husband.. he sounds like the kind of person that deserves to be locked up, maybe he'd learn what it's like to be beaten and bullied.

        I'd say stay close to your mum and dad.. live out your iddah.. take time to recover and focus on deen and getting closer to Allah.. then one day inshaAllah your folks can help you find a decent guy to marry.
        [CENTER][CENTER][B][FONT=Verdana][/FONT][/B][FONT=Verdana][B]My Lord, my trust in all Your purposes is strong, That trust is now my shield; I'm safe, and undeceived.[COLOR=sienna]- Ali bin Husayn al-Habshi[/COLOR][/B]

        [/FONT][/CENTER]
        [/CENTER]
        [CENTER][CENTER][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]Real forsaking is forgetting the thing forsaken.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=sienna][FONT=Verdana]- Shaykh al-Shadhili

        [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]Live as long as you wish, you shall die. Love whatever you wish, you shall be separated from it. Do whatever you wish, you shall be rewarded for it. [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=sienna][FONT=Verdana]- Jibreel (as)
        [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][/CENTER]
        [/CENTER]

        [CENTER] [B][I][SIZE=4] ياَ أَبَا اَلزَّهْرَاء وَلَّذِي صَانَكْ- لاَتُخَيِّبْنَا يَا سِيْدِي نَحْنُ ضِيْفَانَكْ[/SIZE]<o></o>[/I][/B]
        [B]O father of Zahra, for the sake of the One who protected you,
        Please do not leave us disappointed, O master, we are your guests. [COLOR=Sienna]- Shaykh Ahmad al-Alawi (rh)

        [/COLOR][/B][I][B][SIZE=4]أَنتَ رَبّي وَ عِلْمُكَ حَسْبِيْ. فَنِعْمَ الرَّبُّ رَبِّي وَ نِعْمَ الحَسْبُ حَسْبِيْ.[COLOR=Sienna]ـ حِزْبُ البَحْر[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][/I]
        [/CENTER]

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        • #5
          Re: It's all over!

          Now I'm afraid to get marry :(
          [FONT="Impact"][SIZE="4"][COLOR="Red"]"Verily,in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest" [13:28][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

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          • #6
            Re: It's all over!

            you are indeed patient my sister, and that alone makes you a good wife. may Allah grant you the man best for you in this world and in the next.

            i agree with everything Chained_water said, except that going for the man you loved was not necessarily the problem. imagine what would have happened to the girl he would have married in an arranged marriage ... she most likely would have gone through the same thing!

            just make sure whoever you marry, whether arranged or not, you investigate his character/personality very well.
            "And who is better in speech than he who invites to Allah, and does righteous deeds, and says: 'I am one of the Muslims'." [Qur'an 41:33]
            QwickFusion

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            • #7
              Re: It's all over!

              No.. Pls Dont afraid.. A realy muslim man not like him:) A real Muslim Boy fair and proper legal assessment , Afraid of ALLAH , compassionate , to handle sb with velvet gloves... :) these all belong to A real muslim man :)

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              • #8
                Re: It's all over!

                Good riddance to bad rubbish. Let him rot in jail. Don't ever take him back even if he cries, pleads with you and swears that he has changed- I've seen it all before, people like that only say such things to manipulate you and they don't mean it.
                The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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                • #9
                  Re: It's all over!

                  Alhamdulillah, you are better off without such a person. Imagine having kids with someone like that.....
                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZVEydn3RKk

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                  • #10
                    Re: It's all over!

                    Man! I swear if someone did that to my sister, or if i had a daughter, i would end up doing something id regret! how can someone do that to a wife, no matter what he is going through, you dont lay your hands on her, fair enough if she takes the mick out of your fav football team then have a go or something but not physically lol inshallah allah will give you good in this life and the next, and give you a great husband. :up:
                    Dont be put off marriage again, not all people are like him.
                    Last edited by Mujib; 10-04-08, 05:52 PM.
                    Never give the devil a ride, He will always want to drive

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                    • #11
                      Re: It's all over!

                      Allahu akbar. Seriously. Start a new life, inshaAllah. Starting from asking for Allah (swt) and your parents forgiveness.:)
                      "Past the seeker as he prayed came the crippled and the beggar and the beaten. And seeing them...he cried, "Great God, how is it that a loving creator can see such things and yet do nothing about them?"...God said, "I did do something. I made you."" -- Sufi Teaching

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                      • #12
                        Re: It's all over!

                        Originally posted by Mujib View Post
                        Man! I swear if someone did that to my sister, or if i had a daughter, i would end up doing something id regret! how can someone do that to a wife, no matter what he is going through, you dont lay your hands on her, fair enough if she takes the mick out of your fav football team then have a go or something but not physically lol inshallah allah will give you good in this life and the next, and give you a great husband. :up:
                        Dont be put off marriage again, not all people are like him.
                        how did i know Mujib u were going 2 say something like that?

                        anyway siister, like Mujib did say u are better off without him, he's not worth it at all, let him rot in jail, subhanAllah the torture u went through...:( inshAllah Allah will find u a better husband and may Allah reward u for your patience and give u good in this life and the next...Ameen
                        The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) said, 'Whoever fasts Ramadhan with Iman and Ihtisab [seeking reward], will have his previous sins forgiven.' {Al-Bukhari & Muslim} :love: :inlove:

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                        • #13
                          Re: It's all over!

                          On a side note, I am curious; you said it was your choice to marry him- so what attracted you to him in the first place and did you have the approval of your family? Why did his family think you were unsuitable for him and if your parents thought he was unsuitable, what were their reasons? Didn't you come across any warning signs about his violent nature before marriage? Was he putting on an act of niceness before marriage or were there signs of nastiness which you just ignored?
                          The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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                          • #14
                            Re: It's all over!

                            Anything else neelu? A cup of tea for her maybe?
                            Never give the devil a ride, He will always want to drive

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                            • #15
                              Re: It's all over!

                              Sorry to hear about your experience. What really makes me sad and mad is how his parents didn't do anything to stop him. I think the parents are as much as at fault as he is. No woman should be treated like that, doesn't matter how bad she is.

                              I think once a man starts physically abusing he crosses the line of no return. Women need to remember that it's time to leave becuase if something is not done it only encourages the man.

                              It is all about power, and doing nothing only gives more power to the agressor.

                              Forget about him, don't even think about going back.. move on and live your live as best as possible. You have suffered enough
                              Please pray for my health. Jazak Allah

                              I found the enemy and it is me.

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