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  • #31
    Re: Racism and discrimination amongst muslims

    A.s

    Jazakalah for all the responses. I appreciate it. sister asiya, have patience sister, Allah is watching, the All-knowing, He is aware of all our affairs. may Allah bless you with a pious husband and a whole footbalteam of pious children ameen.

    Convert, i must admit Somalis can be very discriminative, even amongst themselves they discriminate against certain tribes, because of the wars that happened etc. But, brother, you should know that if you find a practicing somali family they will accept you with warm and open arms, and will be too happy to give you their daughters hand for marriage. I've lived in birmingham for a few yrs, and subhanalah I was amazed to see the number of intermarriages between somalis and white/caribean reverts. But if the family of your potential spouse is not so much practicing, then I'm afraid their culture may hinder you and your potential wife. W.s

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    • #32
      Re: Racism and discrimination amongst muslims

      Originally posted by AhlaamYasmina View Post
      A.s

      Jazakalah for all the responses. I appreciate it. sister asiya, have patience sister, Allah is watching, the All-knowing, He is aware of all our affairs. may Allah bless you with a pious husband and a whole footbalteam of pious children ameen.

      Convert, i must admit Somalis can be very discriminative, even amongst themselves they discriminate against certain tribes, because of the wars that happened etc. But, brother, you should know that if you find a practicing somali family they will accept you with warm and open arms, and will be too happy to give you their daughters hand for marriage. I've lived in birmingham for a few yrs, and subhanalah I was amazed to see the number of intermarriages between somalis and white/caribean reverts. But if the family of your potential spouse is not so much practicing, then I'm afraid their culture may hinder you and your potential wife. W.s
      I am sorry if I sound like I negative towards Somali"s or their cultural ways.

      I am sure this stuff goes on within many different ethnic groups.

      Comment


      • #33
        Re: Racism and discrimination amongst muslims

        Originally posted by Lovetolaugh View Post
        Sorry to hear that but remember Somalis are racist and equally with Whites and Blacks. There is the fear of losing roots and having mixed children who won't look like them.

        But maybe your fiance should tell them what's good about you and how she can see being happy with you. She can reassure them you are serious about your faith and etc just in case they need to be reassured.

        Then go ahead and marry with or without them and I am sure they will be back to you and accept the marriage when they see everything is great. Somali families are stupid (I can say that because I come from one). They let their boys marry non-Muslim/atheist women and chidren from those marriages are often lost Islamically but for some reason all the honor is on the daughters shoulders and a child with a non-Somali father has no tribe. I say great, it is time we get rid of the Neanderthal mentality.
        They want to extinguish Allah's Light with their mouths, but Allah will not allow except that His Light should be perfected even though the disbelievers hate (it).)- It is He Who has sent His Messenger with guidance and the religion of truth, to make it superior over all religions even though the idolators hate (it).) Surah Al-Tawbah 32-33

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        • #34
          Re: Racism and discrimination amongst muslims

          Originally posted by Pippin1376 View Post
          I don't deny this, but I think Somali culture, when it comes to marriage, is like many other cultures. I just don't think we should generalize it and say all Somalis are like this when that isn't the case.
          JazakAllahoe kheiran, sister
          They want to extinguish Allah's Light with their mouths, but Allah will not allow except that His Light should be perfected even though the disbelievers hate (it).)- It is He Who has sent His Messenger with guidance and the religion of truth, to make it superior over all religions even though the idolators hate (it).) Surah Al-Tawbah 32-33

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          • #35
            Originally posted by Convert View Post
            I am sorry if I sound like I negative towards Somali"s or their cultural ways.

            I am sure this stuff goes on within many different ethnic groups.
            It ok brother Jazakalah. I wouldn't have started this thread if it's only one ethnic group. It's a general thing amongst muslims. Up untill now, Subhanal Allah, I haven't seen a single revert who wanted to marry someone from their own ethnicity, or refused another because of it. Why is that?

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            • #36
              Re: Racism and discrimination amongst muslims

              Btw I just wanted to add that not all somalis are like this, just some that I have come aross,my cousins have all married japanese, english, jamican(reverts) and pakistani. They're all happily married and welcolmed into the family but it wasn't easy at all. Insh'Allah if we all purify our intentions when looking for a spouse, and make sincere dua, Allah will make it easy for us.

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              • #37
                Re: Racism and discrimination amongst muslims

                Originally posted by Pippin1376 View Post
                Not all Somalis families are stupid, some don't care if their kid marries someone from a different race. I know some Somali sisters who are married to Arabs. That being said some are very into tribalism (they have wars about it so they clearly care about it) but some a good. It's like every culture really.

                Actually I didnt say they're stupid because they don't let their children marry from other cultures. What is stupid to me is thinking a man can marry a non-Muslimah and an atheist but reject a Muslim man marries their daughter. Islam said men can marry from ahlul Kitaab even it is not recommended especially to men who are not strong in their religion but Somali men marry from any culture Muslim or not. I met a 12 year old girl who told me her dad is Somali bt she doesn't see him and she lived with Native Indian mother.

                You're right most cultures are the same about mixed marriages.

                Comment


                • #38
                  Re: Racism and discrimination amongst muslims



                  Don't worry I don't get upset for so little. You only gave your opinion but it would be better if you tried to read and understand what I wrote.


                  I wrote: Somali families are stupid (I can say that because I come from one). They let their boys marry non-Muslim/atheist women and chidren from those marriages are often lost Islamically but for some reason all the honor is on the daughters shoulders and a child with a non-Somali father has no tribe. I say great, it is time we get rid of the Neanderthal mentality.


                  Now relax this wasn't about your family :) and hear this: my late father was one of the best Somali men ever and I am not the only one to say that. People still stop me when I go to his place of work and make me cry. He was modest, genuine, very fair with women and followed the Sunnah.


                  The reality we cannot hide if we try to talk honestly is that Somalis have double standard: they spoilt their boys and don't teach them thee 4 qualities to look for in a marriage and they also don't care if their boy bring a Boudhist or an Atheist to the family but the girls niet they can't marry a Muslim from outside. Now again this is very general and I too know many Somali sisters who are married outside of the culture. The double standard hurt Somali families living in the West even more because while the sisters are doing well in school and in their life, they boys have high rate of drop out and many are lost.

                  And thanks for teaching me about self-respect and I have high respect for myself and for my family however I dont let that hide me the truth and when I see my family/my society spoiling their boys but calling the daughters suddenly when there is a need for help, I don't like the double standard.


                  As I said my father was a good Muslim who have understood the essence of Islam and not just the superficial things but even he couldn't change my whole family and was gone too early.


                  There are many good things you can say about Somali people but unfortunately in this chapter, there is none :D

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                  • #39
                    Re: Racism and discrimination amongst muslims

                    I was going to do some changes on my last reply but I can't.

                    I'll just correct this:

                    "And thanks for teaching me about self-respect but I have high respect for myself and for my family etc.


                    I remember when I lived back home and one brother who was married to a French woman died. The neighbours came and told his mom "don't let her take the kids away from you, you will not see them again". They were talking about his wife who survived the accident with some injuries. Now, these neighbours didn't care who the woman was before the guy died and how the heck you take children from their mom? I am sure they thought the kids would know their tribe (just kidding) and no matter the religion of the mother, they were "tribalistically" Somali.

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Re: Racism and discrimination amongst muslims

                      Originally posted by Lovetolaugh View Post
                      Actually I didnt say they're stupid because they don't let their children marry from other cultures. What is stupid to me is thinking a man can marry a non-Muslimah and an atheist but reject a Muslim man marries their daughter. Islam said men can marry from ahlul Kitaab even it is not recommended especially to men who are not strong in their religion but [B]Somali men marry from any culture Muslim or not. [/B]I met a 12 year old girl who told me her dad is Somali bt she doesn't see him and she lived with Native Indian mother.

                      You're right most cultures are the same about mixed marriages.
                      Originally posted by Lovetolaugh View Post
                      Don't worry I don't get upset for so little. You only gave your opinion but it would be better if you tried to read and understand what I wrote.


                      I wrote: Somali families are stupid (I can say that because I come from one). They let their boys marry non-Muslim/atheist women and chidren from those marriages are often lost Islamically but for some reason all the honor is on the daughters shoulders and a child with a non-Somali father has no tribe. I say great, it is time we get rid of the Neanderthal mentality.


                      Now relax this wasn't about your family :) and hear this: my late father was one of the best Somali men ever and I am not the only one to say that. People still stop me when I go to his place of work and make me cry. He was modest, genuine, very fair with women and followed the Sunnah.


                      The reality we cannot hide if we try to talk honestly is that Somalis have double standard: they spoilt their boys and don't teach them thee 4 qualities to look for in a marriage and they also don't care if their boy bring a Boudhist or an Atheist to the family but the girls niet they can't marry a Muslim from outside. Now again this is very general and I too know many Somali sisters who are married outside of the culture. The double standard hurt Somali families living in the West even more because while the sisters are doing well in school and in their life, they boys have high rate of drop out and many are lost.

                      And thanks for teaching me about self-respect and I have high respect for myself and for my family however I dont let that hide me the truth and when I see my family/my society spoiling their boys but calling the daughters suddenly when there is a need for help, I don't like the double standard.


                      As I said my father was a good Muslim who have understood the essence of Islam and not just the superficial things but even he couldn't change my whole family and was gone too early.


                      There are many good things you can say about Somali people but unfortunately in this chapter, there is none :D
                      some Somali or there are
                      They want to extinguish Allah's Light with their mouths, but Allah will not allow except that His Light should be perfected even though the disbelievers hate (it).)- It is He Who has sent His Messenger with guidance and the religion of truth, to make it superior over all religions even though the idolators hate (it).) Surah Al-Tawbah 32-33

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Re: Racism and discrimination amongst muslims

                        1. JDR, do you know what it means to have an opinion?

                        If you say yes, then you should let me have my opinion.


                        2. Constructive criticisms are good and it is too bad you dont believe in that. If you do and I am wrong then take the time to reply to my point with a real argument and drop the "women have no self-respect" etc. You don't have more self-respect than me. If you know of people with low self-esteem, it is because of the lack of good structures at home and their absent father and maybe the ghetto life their parents force them to live in the West.
                        Alhamdulillhah, I didn't grow up like that but because I learned to have critical mind, I can talk about the double standard of Somali families even in those who had a good father and leader.


                        3. "And why is there non good things to say, cos u say it ur self there are Somali who are not racist and marry outside there culture !"

                        Marrying outside your culture doesn't make you better. I have already said above what was my point but you rather skip it. The problem is not that there is racism when it comes to marriage and mixity because there are racists in every culture. Actually, Somalis are equally racist toward Blacks and Whites and that shows they don't like to mix with others in general but maybe thats better than discriminating one race over the other. At least, we don't hold one race is better.
                        My point was to show the contradiction and double standard not to say Somalis should mix more and etc.


                        4. I don't know if you're a man or a woman but you need to relax and not worry about what other people think. You or me don't control others and their mind. We can only say what we believe and they make up their mind and think for themself.


                        5. The drop out rate of boys isn't due to what they boys hear. Teens actually dont even hear anything (other than the songs they're listening to). It is due to the lack of proper models at home. Their fathers prefer to go make more money and let the mother raise the children alone.


                        6. On the topic of marriage and children, it is my opinion that Somalis dont have much to talk about. However, in other areas like hospitality Somalis can score well. They are rarely fake and also are brave and stand up for what they believe in. For example, Muslim women started wearing the hijab massively in the West only when Somalian women came and that is ever recorded in books. They were the first ones to not be shy about their faith and etc. Foreign women who travelled with Somali men said they never had to worry about them because they were always respectful and courteous to them etc. We are now hijacking the topic of the sister. Her topic was about mixed marriage but I hope you can see I don't enjoy making negative comments about the great Somali people ;)


                        6. Let's agree to disagree. You're probably well set in your ways and I have a strong opinion on the topic.

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                        • #42
                          Re: Racism and discrimination amongst muslims

                          Wa Salaam Aleykum,

                          SubhanAllah,
                          Im not talking about your opening cos am with u (I think) but I mend how u say it, u can say it but dont say somali people

                          Btw I wasn't talking about u

                          But kheir insha Allah

                          if u still dont get me:S

                          Wa Salaam Aleykum wr
                          They want to extinguish Allah's Light with their mouths, but Allah will not allow except that His Light should be perfected even though the disbelievers hate (it).)- It is He Who has sent His Messenger with guidance and the religion of truth, to make it superior over all religions even though the idolators hate (it).) Surah Al-Tawbah 32-33

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Re: Racism and discrimination amongst muslims

                            I am sorry that I used to the word stupid and want to apologize to anyone that felt hurt.


                            Salam

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              Re: Racism and discrimination amongst muslims

                              I DONT THINK THAT PEOPLE SHOULD MARRY EACH OTHER BECAUSE OF TRIBES.. BECAUSE EVERY MUSLIM IS THE SAME :up:

                              LOVETOOLAUGH JUST TO SAY IM SOMALI AND IM BLACK SO I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW SOMALIS CAN BE RACIST TO BLACK PEOPLE
                              I KNOW THAT THERE A LOT OF TRIBES IN SOMALIA AND PEOPLE ARE KILLING EACH OTHER BECAUSE OF IT
                              Last edited by me!!; 18-04-08, 04:19 PM.

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Re: Racism and discrimination amongst muslims

                                Originally posted by me!! View Post
                                I DONT THINK THAT PEOPLE SHOULD MARRY EACH OTHER BECAUSE OF TRIBES.. BECAUSE EVERY MUSLIM IS THE SAME :up:

                                LOVETOOLAUGH JUST TO SAY IM SOMALI AND IM BLACK SO I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW SOMALIS CAN BE RACIST TO BLACK PEOPLE
                                I KNOW THAT THERE A LOT OF TRIBES IN SOMALIA AND PEOPLE ARE KILLING EACH OTHER BECAUSE OF IT

                                I am not from the country Somalia but however I know that Somalians are not killing each others because of tribes. To reduce the problem to tribalism is more than being simplistic, it is not the reality. The civil war in Southern Somalia is due to the lack of good leadership and the action of war lords. They may use tribalism from time to time but the roots of the illness is political avidity.

                                Of course, most Somalis have a dark skin (sunny hot climat oblige) and they are African. But the African countinent is the most diverse in population and ethnicity (Somalia itself has a lot of diversity). Just as Indians are Asian but not from the same race than Chinese, Somalis are African but there aren't from the same race than West Africans. If you use the word Black to say African then Somalis are African thus Black.

                                I used to be political correct about that but don't worry the other Africans (Blacks) won't ever consider you as one of them...even if you do. Been there done that...I had to hear bad comments even those who considered me as their friend. They called us "b******" let's say that's how they say mixed.

                                And they were not trying to be insulting, just couldn't believe you could be African/Black and look like we do. Alhamdulillah new researches proof Africa is very diverse in ethnicity and that skin color and continent don't mean much because people are closer to those who live next to them and not necessarily from the same continent. This doesn't mean that Somalis haven't mixed with other Africans and Arabs to some extent,,,so depending on your ancestors, you could be Black or not.

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