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The Parable of Spouses and Garments

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  • The Parable of Spouses and Garments

    The Parable of Spouses and Garments

    By AmatulWadood


    Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) uses amazing parables in the Qur’an that strike fear, awe and amazement in the hearts of the believers. Throughout the Qur’an, Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) draws parables for us to convey the importance of certain topics, to extract lessons from them and so that we may ponder and reflect over them. We hear many times of the examples of the hypocrites, the mushrikeen (pagans) and the believers. But there is one parable that Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) puts forth that increases the love and mercy between a husband and wife, and this parable is one of the most eloquent and striking in the Qur’an.

    Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) describes the spousal relationship in Surah Al-Baqarah, when He says:

    هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَّهُنَّ

    Translation: They are your garments and you are their garments. [Surah Baqarah, verse 187]

    SubhanAllah, Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) compares the relationship between a husband and wife as clothing. Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) says that both the husband and wife are “libaas”, garments, for each other. This shows the equality that Allah places between spouses and how each partner has a role in the relationship.

    Remember again that Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) puts parables in the Qur’an so that we may ponder, so let’s ponder on how a spouse compares to clothes:
    1. Clothes are close to you, behind your clothes is your bare skin. A spouse is close to you in that manner, emotionally and physically.
    2. Clothes protect your skin from the outside. A husband is the maintainer of his wife and the wife protects her husband’s home and property.
    3. Clothes beautify you. A husband and wife compliment eachother, in this life and the next.
    4. Clothes are comfortable. When one is around their spouse, they feel at ease and their hearts are at rest. One can relax around their spouse and find comfort in them and their words when they are in difficulty.
    5. Clothes hide and screen you. A husband and wife should not discuss each other’s faults to the outside or complain to others about their spouse.
    SubhanAllah, indeed our Lord is Ar-Ra’oof (the extremely Compassionate) for placing this tranquility between spouses. As Ibn Kathir says in his tafseer of Surah Room: If Allah had made all of Adam’s progeny male, and created the females from another kind, such as from Jinn or animals, there would never have been harmony between them and their spouses. There would have been revulsion if the spouses had been from a different kind. Out of Allah’s perfect mercy He made their wives from their own kind, and created love and kindness between them. For a man stays with a woman because he loves her, or because he feels compassion towards her if they have a child together, or because she needs him to take care of her, and so on.

    Many may feel embarrassed that this verse is mentioned in the Qur’an, but subhanAllah, this is just another beautiful example which shows that our deen is truly complete and that Allah have given us guidance through His Book for every aspect of our lives, and for this we should be thankful alhamdulillah.

    This parable between a spouse and a garment is one of the many parables in the Qur’an that we should ponder and reflect over, and this is from the Ultimate Wisdom and Mercy of Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He explains His verses and signs to us in a manner that is most fitting to our intellect.

    Wa lillahil hamd.
    حَسْبُنَا اللَّهُ وَ نِعْمَ الْوَكِيلُ

  • #2
    Re: The Parable of Spouses and Garments

    Mashaa Allah, this is just beautiful and should be read at every muslim marriage ceremony :inlove:

    excellent reminder for us all, alhamdulillah


    • #3
      Re: The Parable of Spouses and Garments

      Bump :)

      إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

      إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

      "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

      Khanqah Habibiyah


      • #4
        Re: The Parable of Spouses and Garments

        Originally posted by Jenicca View Post
        Bump :)
        why did you bump this jenicca..:scratch:

        إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

        إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

        "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

        Khanqah Habibiyah


        • #5
          Re: The Parable of Spouses and Garments

          MashaAllah... very well said, and so true. And really sweet too :D

          I wish every Muslim couple would keep that in mind!
          "For, Believers are those who, when Allah is mentioned, feel a tremor in their hearts, and when they hear His signs rehearsed, find their faith strengthened, and put (all) their trust in their Lord..."
          Noble Quran 8:2


          • #6
            Re: The Parable of Spouses and Garments

            Those five points are really something to think about. Very well thought out. :masha:

            Now, that I think about it, it reminded me of an Urdu ghazal I heard a while back...

            Mein Khushnaseebi Hoon Teri...Mujhe bhii Raas hai Tu...
            I'm your fortune, and I'm satisfied with mine also...

            Tera Libaas hoon Mein .Mera Libaas hoon Tu...
            I'm your garment and my garment is you...

            Door ho kar bhii Nahin hai koi doori...
            Even though we're far, we're still not far...

            Tere kareeb hoon mein mere bhi Paas hai too...
            I'm near you and you are near me...

            Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

            "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
            - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎


            • #7
              Re: The Parable of Spouses and Garments

              assalamu alaikum wa rahmatULLAHI wa barakathuhu ,
              jazakALLAHU khair for the post,
              subhanALLAH the parable between spouses and garments is soooo beautiful!!!
              assalamu alaikum wa rahmatULLAHI wa baraakathuhu
              La Ilaha Illa Anta, subhanaka, Inni Kunto Minal dhalimeen.(Al Anbiya 21:87) Nabi(SAW)said'None who is experiencing difficulty employs it except that Allah would relieve him of his difficulty'


              • #8
                Re: The Parable of Spouses and Garments

                Beautiful :)
                الحق لا يعرف بالرجال، اعرف الحق تعرف رجاله


                • #9
                  Re: The Parable of Spouses and Garments

                  A Wife

                  A talk by Shaykh Abdullah Adhami

                  By getting married you are not just getting a wife, you are getting your whole world. From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend.

                  She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she can for you;
                  When you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers; during the day, she will be with you, if for a moment she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.

                  The best description that I personally have ever read describing the closeness of the spouses to each other is the Qur'anic verse which says: "they are your garments and you are their garments" (Surah Al Baqarah 2:187). Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans. Just imagine a journey in the winter of Alaska without garments! Our spouses provide us with the same level of comfort, protection, cover, and support in the journey of our lives on this earth as garments would do in the Alaskan journey.

                  The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquillity that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable. The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings is that: it is an act of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, "And Allah has made for you Mates (and Companions) of your own nature ..." (Surah Al Nahl 16:72) Only our Almighty Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala in His Infinite Power, Boundless Mercy, and Great Wisdom can create and ingrain these amazing and blessed feelings in the hearts of the spouses. In fact Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is reminding those who search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans to His existence as He says in the Qur'an, "And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect." (Surah Al Rum 30:21)

                  But Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala knows that the human heart is not a static entity, it is sometimes weak and at times dynamic. Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for.

                  Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the soil has to be sustained, maintained, watered and nurtured.

                  Remember that our Prophet Muhammad Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam had found the time to go out to the desert and race with his wife Aisha. She out ran him but later after she had gained some weight, he out ran her.

                  Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam took his wife to watch the young Ethiopians playing and dancing their folk dances. The show of emotions is necessary to keep the marital bond away from rusting and disintegrating.

                  Remember that you will be rewarded by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said "one would be rewarded for anything that he does seeking the pleasure of Allah even the food that he puts in the mouth of his wife."

                  Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife's mouth, opening the car's door for her, etc. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam used to extend his knee to his wife to assist her up to ride the camel.

                  Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will always result in having more peace at home.

                  Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam gave glad tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray together. The Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam even urged the spouse who rises up first to wake the other spouse up even by throwing cold water on his/her face.

                  Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds. Talk to her, smile to her, seek her advice, ask for her opinion, spend quality time with her and always remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said "the best of you are those who are best to their wives."

                  Finally, it is common that spouses vow to love and honor their spouses until death do them part. I do believe that this vow is good or even great, but not enough! It is not enough that you love your wife. You have to love what she loves as well. Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones. Don't be like my colleague who was unhappy about his wife's parents coming to visit for few weeks. He candidly said to her "I don't like your parents." Naturally, she angrily looked at him straight in the eye and said " I don't like yours either"... Also, it is not enough that you love her until death do you part. Love should never end and we do believe there is life after death where those who did righteousness in this world will be joined by their spouses (Surah Al Zukhruf 43:70) and offsprings.

                  The best example in this regard is the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam whose love for Khadija, his wife of 25 years extended to include all those she loved and continued even after her death. It was many years after her death and he never forgot her and whenever a goat was slaughtered in his house he would send portions of it to Khadija's family and friends and whenever he felt that the visitor at the door might be Khadija's sister Hala, he would pray saying "O Allah let it be Hala."



                  • #10
                    Re: The Parable of Spouses and Garments

                    The Wives Are Your Garments
                    Dua (prayer) for a righteous family

                    May Allah give all believing men and women, married or looking to marry, the towfeeq (grace) to be the ideal Muslim husband and the ideal Muslim wife with His Divine help and guidance.

                    The Importance of a good wife to her husband (and of course vice versa) is Great to Allah (God). Nothing can illustrate the point better than the Qur'anic statement which describes the righteous people as those who pray:

                    "Rabba-na hab la-na min azwaji-na wa dhuriyyati-na qurrata a'yunin wa aj'al-na li al muttaqin imama"

                    "Our Lord! give us spouse and children who will be the joy( and the comfort ) of our eyes, and guide us to be models of righteous (make us Leader of God-concious people). " (Qur'an 25:74)

                    May Allah bless all present and future marriages with love, happiness, peace, and success. Inshallah,you will be blessed with God fearing spouse.


                    Last edited by Hayaa; 07-08-11, 03:20 AM.
                    حَسْبُنَا اللَّهُ وَ نِعْمَ الْوَكِيلُ


                    • #11
                      Re: The Parable of Spouses and Garments

                      will read later in sha Allah
                      'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                      So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman