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  • High expectations in marriage???

    :salams

    ok here's a weird thread for ya'll, i know we have a new thread in here hourly but what'dya expect all these un married folk lool :p anyways...

    ok so i've been told having 'so called' high expectattions when it comes to marriage... is expecting someone to pray their fardhs and not deal in riba and to be a druggie high expectations, actually i think that's a bit too low anywho

    what do you all think is 'having too high expectations?' i know different people all have diferent levels of imaan and different capabilities but try:up:

    :jkk: people
    Last edited by sunrise; 02-01-08, 02:11 AM.
    Bye bye :salams

  • #2
    Re: High expectations in marriage???

    Umm... wow.. its harder than I thought, there is so much I want in terms of Islam, I dont think I would put a limit on the height of expectations. I would hope she strives to follow Islam to the best of her ability.. and lives only for Allah.

    But.. If I cannot do those things, then what right do I have to ask for someone who can?
    Whoever asks Allah sincerely for martyrdom [Allahumma inni as'aluk ash-shahadah], Allah will cause him to reach the status of the martyrs even if he dies in his bed.” ['Sahih al-Bukhari' #1909]

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    • #3
      Re: High expectations in marriage???

      I think everyone should have high expectations, so long as they are reasonable in comparison to one's self.

      I don't have a beard, so for me to insist on finding a wife that wears a hijab may be too high of an expectation, although it's not impossible. I'd love to have a pious wife, but then I'm not really a pious person, and I don't come across as one either, so it's probably unreasonable of me to expect a pious girl to look my way. I think ultimately, one has to look at the whole package, and the complete individual. There are always going to be shortfalls in an individual, but these are probably balanced out by other qualities that are superior then the average level.

      I don't know if anyone really finds their perfect partner; one that meets all of an individual's expectations. Maybe in the beginning, before marriage, but after the honeymoon period is over, there are always reasons for both partners to exercise sabr.
      Allah’s Messenger said: “Whoever as much as kills a sparrow in vain will find it crying before Allah on the Day of Judgment: ‘My Lord! That person killed me in vain. He did not kill me for needful sustenance.”

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      • #4
        Re: High expectations in marriage???

        jzk 4 response... ne more?
        Bye bye :salams

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        • #5
          Re: High expectations in marriage???

          Recipe to a happy life = low expectations :p
          You are not aware of the consequences that would result (if you were granted what you desire) because what you seek might be to your detriment. (O soul) be conscious that your Master is more aware about your well-being than you are.

          ~Ibn Al-Jawzee

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          • #6
            Re: High expectations in marriage???

            Originally posted by Ebony View Post
            Recipe to a happy life = low expectations :p
            i agree

            with humans especially in marriage..you will see the worst of people too

            due to the closeness of the relationship..

            realistic expectations..all the gamut of human emotion in one package


            people are divorcing willy nilly

            one thing to remember..when dealing with insaan..expect insaanity
            :salams

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            • #7
              Re: High expectations in marriage???

              Originally posted by K h a l i l View Post
              Umm... wow.. its harder than I thought, there is so much I want in terms of Islam, I dont think I would put a limit on the height of expectations. I would hope she strives to follow Islam to the best of her ability.. and lives only for Allah.

              But.. If I cannot do those things, then what right do I have to ask for someone who can?
              good point :)

              Originally posted by THE PATH 2 View Post
              i agree

              with humans especially in marriage..you will see the worst of people too

              due to the closeness of the relationship..

              realistic expectations..all the gamut of human emotion in one package


              people are divorcing willy nilly

              one thing to remember..when dealing with insaan..expect insaanity
              thats funny :D but true :up:

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: High expectations in marriage???

                having high expectations/standards is a good thing in everything to do with life, and marriage isn't an exception.. you know that saying "aim for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars." ..yeah :p
                May we reach daruSalaam by His, and only His Decree
                I would die for the cause if I knew only to what degree
                *
                My Blog

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                • #9
                  Re: High expectations in marriage???

                  Originally posted by Ebony View Post
                  Recipe to a happy life = low expectations :p
                  thats so true u should apply this rule to everything. i usually apply it to school stuff. write a test, ya i think i did ok oh well, and then wen i do well its super duper exciting :D

                  in context of marriage keep expectations low so even the smallest gesture from spouse will mean a lot :p my mom was so excited that day wen my dad brought her flowers for no reason at all :p
                  Screaming, But Will Never Be Heard

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                  • #10
                    Re: High expectations in marriage???

                    Originally posted by sunrise View Post



                    ok so i've been told having 'so called' high expectattions when it comes to marriage... is expecting someone to pray their fardhs and not deal in riba and to be a druggie high expectations, actually i think that's a bit too low anywho

                    Those aren't high expectations at all, but why would you want your husband to be a druggie? :scratch:
                    Last edited by Irfan GBH; 02-01-08, 03:43 PM.
                    How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck couldn't chuck wood? :banbear:

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                    • #11
                      Re: High expectations in marriage???

                      Expect less, that way you can't be dissapointed but can always be pleasantly suprised.

                      Apart for the basics. yanee...salah, sawm, zakah etc etc which must really be a pre-requisite.
                      “Take Aqeedah from the Salaf, learn Adab from the Tableeghi Jamaat, and brotherhood from the Ikhwaan"

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                      • #12
                        Re: High expectations in marriage???

                        Originally posted by Irfan GBH View Post
                        So aren't high expectations at all, but why would you want your husband to be a druggie? :scratch:
                        :rotfl:



                        "The `Aalim knows who is a Jaahil, because he used to be a Jaahil before. But the Jaahil does not know who is an `Aalim, because he was never an `Aalim before."


                        Imaam Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullaah in Majmoo`ul Fataawaa.


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                        • #13
                          Re: High expectations in marriage???

                          Low expectations doesnt mean you think nothing of your partner and expect them to be absolutely useless.

                          It simply means you dont make demands on them that they can't fulfill or have problems in fulfilling.

                          Be happy with the small things. Good things come to those who wait :p
                          You are not aware of the consequences that would result (if you were granted what you desire) because what you seek might be to your detriment. (O soul) be conscious that your Master is more aware about your well-being than you are.

                          ~Ibn Al-Jawzee

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: High expectations in marriage???

                            Originally posted by zammy View Post
                            having high expectations/standards is a good thing in everything to do with life, and marriage isn't an exception.. you know that saying "aim for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars." ..yeah :p
                            you got it all wrong



                            "The `Aalim knows who is a Jaahil, because he used to be a Jaahil before. But the Jaahil does not know who is an `Aalim, because he was never an `Aalim before."


                            Imaam Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullaah in Majmoo`ul Fataawaa.


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                            • #15
                              Re: High expectations in marriage???

                              Originally posted by Abu Mus'ab View Post
                              you got it all wrong
                              no she made a good point. stars would be so much cooler to land on :love:
                              Screaming, But Will Never Be Heard

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