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  • #46
    Re: has he got G's

    its good 2 be comfortable but jus dont spoil ur children cos tht'l take out their hunger for success in dis world.
    exactly what my arguments are - work your way to a comfortable life - a life of hardship means a stronger marriage :insha:

    Originally posted by $HugoBoss$ View Post
    $70,000 US Dollars is good to maintain a family and keep them happy.
    thas like 35k in the uk
    must be expensive out there
    :up: Sponsor the 20 mile walk for Children of Chechnya! :up:


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    • #47
      Re: has he got G's

      Originally posted by insomniac View Post
      exactly what my arguments are - work your way to a comfortable life - a life of hardship means a stronger marriage :insha:
      Not necessarily ukhti,

      A life of hardship means a life of hardship. This is the harsh reality. All those people living in lala land talking about living in a cardboard box...well that's a joke

      You see sis, the reality is you are mixing two things together. Being poor and living in a state of brokeness. The former is due to your qadr, the latter is because of laziness.

      Imagine (and this is a real case by the way) a brother forcing his wife to start calling up masajid to ask them for money to do his son's aqeeqah cos they are too broke to afford it. If this brother was struggling but couldn't afford it, then fine but this brother doesn't HAVE a job and doesn't want one either.

      Next case (also real) brother doesn't have a job, wife on benefit, two kids and he is telling her he is thinking of getting another wife . He can't even give his new born baby food and he is thinking of another wife...JOKE!!!


      Next case (yes you guessed it...real) brother takes his wife to the imam, wanting to divorce her because she gave the kids the last juice in the fridge which he didn't provide for her by the way but she got from being on benefit and then when the imam goes but akhi why don't you have a job, he says Allah is the Provider. what a @#*&@*%

      Next case (real again sis) brother threatning his wife as to why she hasn't gone to the benefit office and getting angry with her cos she hasn't gone.

      So can you see the difference sis?

      Your father is absolutely right to look out for what this man can provide for you. Why should he still be looking after when you are a married woman?

      Like I said, if a man is genuinely struggling, then of course you lighten his load and help him out and you are patient but if he chooses the life of poverty and uselessness then i don't have to be part of a sinking ship. Alhamdulillah my mama ain't tired of feeding me.
      Last edited by umm uthman; 30-12-07, 03:53 AM.
      When I grow up, I want to be just like my aunty Nazias and Insomniac Insha Allah...A TREE HUGGER :love: :inlove: :love:
      BOYCOTT CATTERKILLERS!!!


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      • #48
        Re: has he got G's

        Originally posted by $HugoBoss$ View Post
        $70,000 US Dollars is good to maintain a family and keep them happy.
        For a family yes. That would be pretty well off for newly weds though, that's almost 6 grand a month. For sure they could live comfortably with less than that also.
        May we reach daruSalaam by His, and only His Decree
        I would die for the cause if I knew only to what degree
        *
        My Blog

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        • #49
          Re: has he got G's

          If you read this closely enough you might spot the secret message hidden in it

          Mr President, You Are Wrong

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          • #50
            Re: has he got G's

            Originally posted by umm_yusuf View Post
            Alhamdulillah my mama ain't tired of feeding me.
            Lol, never a truer word spoken. Preach on sister !
            May we reach daruSalaam by His, and only His Decree
            I would die for the cause if I knew only to what degree
            *
            My Blog

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            • #51
              Re: has he got G's

              Originally posted by zammy View Post
              Lol, never a truer word spoken. Preach on sister !
              ;) lol
              When I grow up, I want to be just like my aunty Nazias and Insomniac Insha Allah...A TREE HUGGER :love: :inlove: :love:
              BOYCOTT CATTERKILLERS!!!


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              • #52
                Re: has he got G's

                Originally posted by insomniac View Post
                hmm thas my dad's view - more than bare basics - comfortable life - which is a good thing to want for one's child alhamdulillah - but you can live in comfort one day and fall out of it another with the state of how things change so quickly...

                though I def see where my dad and you are coming from...



                I can see where he's coming from - but I duno I see it like this - subhanAllaah you could have it all one day and lose it all another....
                but u might never have it and never get it sorry this is gona sound harsh but
                people are living on cloud nine lol..the prophet saw told us 4 things to choose a prospect on, and yes the best is deen as u may be rich ondya and go bankrupt the other but the hadeeth i quoted earlier shows that u tke the situation on face value , yes you marry the brother becuase he will be able to provide for u a good life however u dont marry him because of that, he has deen as well and the looks n what not..a man with deen with money or striving for money is gona be a better prospect then the one on deen and no money coz the one wid the money obv worked for it, who understands about being independant from people and one who strives for his rizq and understands the link between knoledge and action.etc. (basically what umm Y said mashallah!!)

                which brings me nicely onto the following link *smiles*
                http://www.ummah.com/forum/showpost....61&postcount=1

                looool

                wow...3am better get some sleep lol
                Last edited by ADZ w3; 30-12-07, 04:14 AM.

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                • #53
                  Re: has he got G's

                  Originally posted by MMS View Post
                  i think it would be possible to get by on about 10K a year
                  depends how materialistic yer wife is though :p
                  Aye, 10K a year should defo be enough, and ask Hassnet said, even dole is enough, should get you shelter, food, clothing, bills, take away once in awhile, easily. Only thing about dole is that it's a bit lazy if you on dole out of choice rather than neccesity.

                  Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
                  u can start with so much and then lose it all, or start with nothing and gain so much... life is ever changing...Allah swt written how much we're all gonna have when inshaAllah we start familys and that wont change whether you had married the richest or poorest man on earth, if it was menta be a certain amount... itd stay that amount...
                  Aye, exactly, let that be a lesson for people who marry someone just cuz they're rich
                  Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
                  the most important thing when it comes to marrying someone is their heart right... and nowadays findin someone with a :inlove: :love: is rare...

                  *Checks* Yay I got one! :hidban:
                  How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck couldn't chuck wood? :banbear:

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                  • #54
                    Re: has he got G's

                    Originally posted by umm_yusuf View Post
                    Not necessarily ukhti,

                    A life of hardship means a life of hardship. This is the harsh reality. All those people living in lala land talking about living in a cardboard box...well that's a joke

                    You see sis, the reality is you are mixing two things together. Being poor and living in a state of brokeness. The former is due to your qadr, the latter is because of laziness.

                    Imagine (and this is a real case by the way) a brother forcing his wife to start calling up masajid to ask them for money to do his son's aqeeqah cos they are too broke to afford it. If this brother was struggling but couldn't afford it, then fine but this brother doesn't HAVE a job and doesn't want one either.

                    Next case (also real) brother doesn't have a job, wife on benefit, two kids and he is telling her he is thinking of getting another wife . He can't even give his new born baby food and he is thinking of another wife...JOKE!!!


                    Next case (yes you guessed it...real) brother takes his wife to the imam, wanting to divorce her because she gave the kids the last juice in the fridge which he didn't provide for her by the way but she got from being on benefit and then when the imam goes but akhi why don't you have a job, he says Allah is the Provider. what a @#*&@*%

                    Next case (real again sis) brother threatning his wife as to why she hasn't gone to the benefit office and getting angry with her cos she hasn't gone.

                    So can you see the difference sis?

                    Your father is absolutely right to look out for what this man can provide for you. Why should he still be looking after when you are a married woman?

                    Like I said, if a man is genuinely struggling, then of course you lighten his load and help him out and you are patient but if he chooses the life of poverty and uselessness then i don't have to be part of a sinking ship. Alhamdulillah my mama ain't tired of feeding me.
                    :salams sis,

                    subhanAllaah those are some sad examples :( what a bunch of plonk guys!

                    brokeness is an absolute cos when there are mouths to feed then brokeness need not be an issue....so for real for real for real for real I see your point and I agree with your point.

                    I guess I have a context and that context is quite different as to the ones I am professing I would be able to deal with. In this context, income is not an issue alhamdulillah.

                    Originally posted by ADZ w3 View Post
                    but u might never have it and never get it sorry this is gona sound harsh but
                    people are living on cloud nine lol..the prophet saw told us 4 things to choose a prospect on, and yes the best is deen as u may be rich ondya and go bankrupt the other but the hadeeth i quoted earlier shows that u tke the situation on face value , yes you marry the brother becuase he will be able to provide for u a good life however u dont marry him because of that, he has deen as well and the looks n what not..a man with deen with money or striving for money is gona be a better prospect then the one on deen and no money coz the one wid the money obv worked for it, who understands about being independant from people and one who strives for his rizq and understands the link between knoledge and action.etc. (basically what umm Y said mashallah!!)

                    which brings me nicely onto the following link *smiles*
                    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showpost....61&postcount=1

                    looool

                    wow...3am better get some sleep lol
                    see reference to context above :)
                    Last edited by insomniac; 30-12-07, 12:02 PM.
                    :up: Sponsor the 20 mile walk for Children of Chechnya! :up:


                    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

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                    • #55
                      Re: has he got G's

                      Originally posted by boori View Post
                      Salam...

                      Someone who marrried their "Soul Mate" (MashAllah practising brother and sister) told me once that... they could live in a cardboard box and be happy as long as they were together....

                      Dont get me wrong I dont want you waiting behind Tescos recycling bins...its just a saying...:hidban:
                      Good post :up:

                      Coasting through life, somehow muddle through together - that sort of sentimental stuff is good...

                      Of course, once they're married and established - I'd expect people to work to be comfortable, but money as a precondition? Bit ridiculous - 25 and working gives no guarantees that by 30 they won't be broke. 25 and studying (and by definition broke), you could be 30 and extremely well off.
                      ...sermons from this minbar come with tongue planted quite firmly in cheek.


                      "Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need -
                      a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends,
                      worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you,
                      a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear,
                      and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing."

                      -- Jerome K. Jerome
                      (Three Men in a Boat)

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                      • #56
                        Re: has he got G's

                        Originally posted by Joha View Post
                        Good post :up:

                        Coasting through life, somehow muddle through together - that sort of sentimental stuff is good...

                        Of course, once they're married and established - I'd expect people to work to be comfortable, but money as a precondition? Bit ridiculous - 25 and working gives no guarantees that by 30 they won't be broke. 25 and studying (and by definition broke), you could be 30 and extremely well off.
                        yes exactly - subhanAllaah I have seen cases of this where husbands no longer wish to provide for their wives and kids despite having the means to do so :(

                        there's no guarantees in life...we make our choices based on the facts placed in front of us and trust in Allaah swt
                        Last edited by insomniac; 30-12-07, 12:04 PM.
                        :up: Sponsor the 20 mile walk for Children of Chechnya! :up:


                        http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

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                        • #57
                          Re: has he got G's

                          Getting by doesnt mean dont work or dont try to earn money :|. It just means your working long hours compared to well off people to provide for your family and you cant afford tht expensive car or other luxuries but your wife and you are content and happy with what you have.

                          And people can and do get by on around 10k its difficult but if you use wisely and your grateful then Allah puts barakah in your money.

                          Ive seen it plenty of times.

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                          • #58
                            Bismill‚h ir-Rahm‚n ir-RahÓm
                            Qul huwa All‚hu ahad
                            All‚hus-samad
                            Lam yalid wa lam yŻlad
                            Wa lam yakul-la-hŻ kufu-wan ahad
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                            • #59
                              Re: has he got G's

                              Originally posted by insomniac View Post
                              yes exactly - subhanAllaah I have seen cases of this where husbands no longer wish to provide for their wives and kids despite having the means to do so :(

                              there's no guarantees in life...we make our choices based on the facts placed in front of us and trust in Allaah swt
                              yes!

                              And what's with all this natter about cars. Only on a Muslim forum...when the rest of the world is trying to abandon them.

                              If you want to look after this great planet we've been made guardians of, next time you take your car, stop and think twice. Do you really have to?

                              I can tell you, if you're living in London, you don't have to - even with kids.
                              ...sermons from this minbar come with tongue planted quite firmly in cheek.


                              "Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need -
                              a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends,
                              worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you,
                              a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear,
                              and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing."

                              -- Jerome K. Jerome
                              (Three Men in a Boat)

                              Comment


                              • #60
                                Re: has he got G's

                                a child brings its own rizq i have never seen a family who have had children trusted in allah *swt* nd become broke... but plenty of couples who have become skint waiting for the 'right' time
                                FEAR ALLAH (SWT) AS HE DESERVES TO BE FEARED!!!
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