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Unrestrained Glances

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  • #61
    Re: Unrestrained Glances

    Originally posted by imported_MMS View Post
    Shaytan enters with the glance, for he travels with it, faster than the wind blowing through an empty place. He makes what is seen appear more beautiful than it really is, and transforms it into an idol for the heart to worship. Then he promises it false rewards, lights the fire of desires within it, and fuels it with the wood of forbidden actions, which the servant would not have committed had it not been for this distorted image.

    This distracts the heart and makes it forget its more important concerns. It stands between it and them; and so the heart loses its straight path and falls into the pit of desire and ignorance. Allah, Mighty and Glorious is He, says:



    "And do not obey anyone whose heart WE have made forgetful in remembering Us- who follows his own desires, and whose affair has exceeded all bounds. (18:28)"


    It has been said that between the eye and the heart is an immediate connection; if the eyes are corrupted, then the heart follows. It becomes like a rubbish heap where all the dirt and filth and rottennes collect, and so there is no room for love for Allah, relating all matters to Him, awareness of being in His presence, and feeling joy at His proximity-only the opposite of these things can inhabit such a heart.



    Staring and gazing without restraint is disobedience to Allah:

    "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and quard their modesty; that is more purifying for them. Surely Allah is aware of what they do. (24:30)"
    'Restrained glances', that's a book, isn't it?

    Comment


    • #62
      Re: Unrestrained Glances

      Originally posted by tca_alam View Post
      "If the heart is corrupted, then the eyes follow." The corruption within affects your perception of the outside.

      This is true. But Islam is a practical religion, and has rules and laws and sub-rules for us to stick to when we feel our hearts are a little corrupted, surely.

      So listen: "If the heart is corrupted, then the eyes follow unless you stick to the techniques, which is an incentive to purify your heart because no matter how corrupted your heart has gone and how much you have damaged your relationship with Allah, that bit of white, Islamic pride for practicing is still there within you".

      You are right. Can't say any more

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      • #63
        Re: Unrestrained Glances

        I HAVE TO MAKE A BOLD STATEMENT:

        IF someone tries to talk to you about anything general and not necessary, and if you are married/are promised to someone, just simply say "Sorry I'm not willing to talk, I have a wife/husband/fiance" AND THEN NEVER RESPOND TO THEM AGAIN.

        IF you are not married, then you can just say "Sorry I'm not permitted to have general talk, for religious purposes".

        That's all.

        I think I maneuvered around this bold statement a lot. We should just be bold about these things.

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        • #64
          Re: Unrestrained Glances

          :D I cant stop lafin

          Comment


          • #65
            Re: Unrestrained Glances

            good thread, this!

            makes a difference to the stuff down below.
            'And when a thing for which you ask is slow to come,
            Then know that often through delay are gifts received'
            علي الحبشي

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            • #66
              Re: Unrestrained Glances

              As salamualiekum, im a new muslim...could you please explain the term "Fitna"

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              • #67
                Re: Unrestrained Glances

                As Salaamu alaikum,

                I feel Br. AdhamFaruq has spoken with wisdom. As a sister who has endeavored to lower my gaze whilst speaking with brothers, I have found it makes for an awkward situation for all. I now accept that the true understanding lies in this phrase "it is haraam for men to look at the faces and hands of marriageable women with desire". To look at the face with desire is the point and is the part which should be avoided. We have a wonderful scholar, who is quite knowledgeable and I noticed he looks at all of the teachers when they are speaking with him. When I had my parent teacher conference with him, I struggled as I was the only person who was lowering the gaze. And I had on niqab. Now I believe and understand that it is not a sin just to look at the person more than once but it is what is the intention in the heart. I believe we do communications a dis-service and we may lose an opportunity to share Islam. I think we often seek to follow the religion with such sincerity and tenacity that we over do it. This is a deen of balance and we should not put ourselves to un necessary hardship as that is not the purpose of Islam.

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                • #68
                  Re: Unrestrained Glances

                  Lol ... Sum Funnyy Comments :L

                  Comment


                  • #69
                    Re: Unrestrained Glances

                    hahaha! that was a good one.
                    [SIZE="2"][/SIZE][SIZE="3"][SIZE="2"][FONT="Verdana"][FONT="Book Antiqua"][FONT="Arial"][SIZE="1"][B]“And among His Signs is this that He created for you spouses of your own kind, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy for one another: verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” (Quran 30:21)[/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/SIZE][/SIZE]

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      Re: Unrestrained Glances

                      How can you see by accident?
                      That is actually an interesting statement. How can we protect each other from throwing a glance "accidentally" then?
                      Allahu E3lem.
                      [SIZE="2"][/SIZE][SIZE="3"][SIZE="2"][FONT="Verdana"][FONT="Book Antiqua"][FONT="Arial"][SIZE="1"][B]“And among His Signs is this that He created for you spouses of your own kind, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy for one another: verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” (Quran 30:21)[/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/SIZE][/SIZE]

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        Re: Unrestrained Glances

                        The Importance of Lowering the Gaze
                        By Imaam Ibnul-Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

                        A beautiful article extracted from the words of Imaam Ibnul-Qayyim showing how the soul tempts one to look at that which is unlawful.
                        Whosoever lets his sight roam free will find that he is in a perpetual state of loss and anguish for sight gives birth to love (mahabbah) the starting point of which is the heart being devoted and dependant upon that which it beholds. This then intensifies to become fervent longing (sabaabah) whereby the heart becomes totally dependant and devoted to the (object of its desire). Then this further intensifies and becomes infatuation (gharaamah) which clings to the heart like the one seeking repayment of a debt clings firmly to the one who has to pay the debt. Then this intensifies and becomes passionate love (ishk) and this is a love that transgresses all bounds. Then this further intensifies and becomes crazed passion (shaghafa) and this a love that encompasses every tiny part of the heart. Then this intensifies and becomes worshipful love (tatayyuma). Tatayyum means worship and it is said: tayyama Allaah i.e. he worshipped Allaah.


                        Allaah, the Exalted said,

                        "Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their private parts; that will make for greater purity for them. Indeed Allaah is well acquainted with all that they do." [an-Nur (24):30]

                        So Allaah made purification and spiritual growth to be the outcome of lowering the gaze and guarding the private parts. It is for this reason that lowrering ones gaze from (seeing) the prohibited things necessarily leads to three benefits that carry tremendous value and are of great significance.

                        The First: experiencing the delight and sweetness of faith.


                        This delight and sweetness is far greater and more desirable that which might have been attained from the object that one lowered his gaze from for the sake of Allaah. Indeed, "whosoever leaves something for the sake of Allaah then Allaah, the Mighty and Magnificent, will replace it with something better than
                        it." {1}

                        The soul is a temptress and loves to look at beautiful forms and the eye is the guide of the heart. The heart commissions its guide to go and look to see what is there and when the eye informs it of a beautiful image it shudders out of love and desire for it. Frequently such inter-relations tire and wear down both the heart and the eye as is said:

                        When you sent your eye as a guide
                        For your heart one day, the object of sight fatigued you
                        For you saw one over whom you had no power
                        Neither a portion or in totality, instead you had to be patient.
                        Therefore when the sight is prevented from looking and investigating the heart finds relief from having to go through the arduous task of (vainly) seeking and desiring.

                        Whosoever lets his sight roam free will find that he is in a perpetual state of loss and anguish for sight gives birth to love (mahabbah) the starting point of which is the heart being devoted and dependant upon that which it beholds. This then intensifies to become fervent longing (sabaabah) whereby the heart becomes totally dependant and devoted to the (object of its desire). Then this further intensifies and becomes infatuation (gharaamah) which clings to the heart like the one seeking repayment of a debt clings firmly to the one who has to pay the debt. Then this intensifies and becomes passionate love (ishk) and this is a love that transgresses all bounds. Then this further intensifies and becomes crazed passion (shaghafa) and this a love that encompasses every tiny part of the heart. Then this intensifies and becomes worshipful love (tatayyuma). Tatayyum means worship and it is said: tayyama Allaah i.e. he worshipped Allaah.

                        Hence the heart begins to worship that which is not correct for it to worship and the reason behind all of this was an illegal glance. The heart is now bound in chains whereas before it used to be the master, it is now imprisoned whereas before it was free. It has been oppressed by the eye and it complains to it upon which the eye replies: I am your guide and messenger and it was you who sent me in the first place!

                        All that has been mentioned applies to the heart that has relinquished the love of Allaah and being sincere to Him for indeed the heart must have an object of love that it devotes itself to. Therefore when the heart does not love Allaah Alone and does not take Him as its God then it must worship something else.

                        Allaah said concerning Yusuf as-Siddeeq (AS),

                        "Thus (did We order) so that We might turn away from him all evil and indecent actions for he was one of Our sincere servants." [Yusuf (12): 24]

                        It was because the wife of al-Azeez was a polytheist that (the passionate love) entered her heart despite her being married. It was because Yusuf (AS) was sincere to Allaah that he was saved from it despite his being a young man, unmarried and a servant.

                        The Second: the illumination of the heart, clear perception and penetrating insight.


                        Ibn Shujaa` al-Kirmaanee said, "whosoever builds his outward form upon following the Sunnah, his internal form upon perpetual contemplation and awareness of Allaah, he restrains his soul from following desires, he lowers his gaze from the forbidden things and he always eats the lawful things then his perception and insight shall never be wrong."
                        Allaah mentioned the people of Lut and what they were afflicted with and then He went on to say,
                        "Indeed in this are signs for the Mutawassimeen." [al-Hijr (15): 75]

                        The Mutwassimeen are those who have clear perception and penetrating insight, those who are secure from looking at the unlawful and performing indecent acts.

                        Allaah said after mentioning the verse concerning lowering the gaze,

                        "Allaah is the Light of the heavens and the earth." [an-Nur (24): 35]

                        The reason behind this is that the reward is of the same type as the action. So whosoever lowers his gaze from the unlawful for the sake of Allaah, the Mighty and Magnificent, He will replace it with something better than it of the same type. So just as the servant restrained the light of his eye from falling upon the unlawful, Allaah blesses the light of his sight and heart thereby making him perceive what he would not have seen and understood had he not lowered his gaze.

                        This is a matter that the person can physically sense in himself for the heart is like a mirror and the base desires are like rust upon it. When the mirror is polished and cleaned of the rust then it will reflect the realities (haqaa`iq) as they actually are. However if it remains rusty then it will not reflect properly and therefore its knowledge and speech will arise from conjecture and doubt.

                        The Third: the heart becoming strong, firm and courageous.

                        Allaah will give it the might of aid for its strength just as He gave it the might of clear proofs for its light. Hence the heart shall combine both of these factors and as a result, Shaytaan shall flee from it. It is mentioned in the narration, "whosoever opposes his base desires, the Shaytaan shall flee in
                        terror from his shade." {2}

                        This is why the one who follows his base desires shall find in himself the ignominy of the soul, its being weak, feeble and contemptible. Indeed Allaah places nobility for the one who obeys Him and disgrace for the one who disobeys Him,

                        "So do not lose heart nor fall into despair; for you must gain mastery if you are true in faith." [Aali Imraan(3): 139]

                        "If any do seek for nobility and power then to Allaah belongs all nobility and power." [Faatir(35): 10]

                        Meaning that whosoever seeks after disobedience and sin then Allaah, the Might and Magnificent, will humiliate the one who disobeys Him.

                        Some of the salaf said, "the people seek nobility and power at the door of the Kings and they will not find it except through the obedience of Allaah."

                        This is because the one who who obeys Allaah has taken Allaah as his friend and protector and Allaah will never humiliate the one who takes his Lord as friend and patron. In the Du`aa Qunut their occurs, "the one who You take as a friend is not humiliated and the one who You take as an enemy is not ennobled." {3}

                        FOOTNOTES:

                        {1} Reported by Ahmad [5/363], al-Marwazee in 'Zawaa`id az-Zuhd' [no. 412], an-Nasaa`ee in 'al-Kubraa' as mentioned in 'Tuhfah al-Ashraaf' [11/199] from one of the Companions that the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "indeed you will not leave anything for the sake of Allaah except that Allaah will replace it with something better than it." The isnaad is saheeh.
                        {2} This is not established as a hadeeth of the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam)
                        {3} Reported by Abu Daawood [Eng. Trans. 1/374 no. 1420], an-Nasaa`ee [3/248], at-Tirmidhee [no. 464], ibn Maajah [no. 1178], ad-Daarimee [1/311], Ahmad [1/199], ibn Khuzaymah [2/151] from al-Hasan from Alee (RA). The hadeeth is saheeh. The isnaad has been criticized by many, however none of the criticisms hold. Refer to: 'Nasb ar-Raayah' [2/125] and 'Talkhees al-Habeer' [1/247]


                        Taken from 'al-Muntaqaa min Ighaathatul Lufhaan fee Masaayid ash-Shaytaan'[pp.'s 102-105] of Ibnul-Qayyim, summarised by Alee Hasan
                        Understanding is key. Look behind the words and see the meaning. Search for the person's values, biases, goals, desires; the unstated, the underlining, the unknown.

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                        • #72
                          Re: Unrestrained Glances

                          Salaam wa alaikom

                          @MustBePatient: JazakAllahu khairan for this right note.
                          Walahi, this is so true.
                          May Allah forgive us our mistaken glances.
                          [SIZE="2"][/SIZE][SIZE="3"][SIZE="2"][FONT="Verdana"][FONT="Book Antiqua"][FONT="Arial"][SIZE="1"][B]“And among His Signs is this that He created for you spouses of your own kind, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy for one another: verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” (Quran 30:21)[/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/SIZE][/SIZE]

                          Comment


                          • #73
                            Re: Unrestrained Glances

                            Originally posted by salsabeela View Post
                            yeah mashaAllah good thread jazakAllah khair for the reminder. Its summertime and its not only brothers who gota dfeal with fitnah coz men now also feel the need to go topless and its quite disturbing.

                            the thing for me is that if i wanna lower my gaze shaytaan tries to make me feel bad and whispers ''ahhh dont be like that, u wanna show muslims are friendly dont ya...'' subhanAllah :(

                            May Allah make it easy for us to lower our gaze for His sake . Ameen!

                            wasalamu alaikum
                            Actually, It is not the topless man that scares me but the muadein (the one tightened to his deen) and that is the scariest.
                            Note for sisters: don't ever give a glance to a sheikh that is mashAllah reciting the Quran amazingly, especially if that person has a character you like because if you do so accidently or by curiosity regarding his tajweed, and you found out that he's pleasing to see... khalas...
                            I would have rather liked Death or blindness at that moment.
                            So no matter how much I could love a tajweed, a character etc, I would do my best not to allow a gaze unless the brother is asking me in marriage inshAllah.
                            [SIZE="2"][/SIZE][SIZE="3"][SIZE="2"][FONT="Verdana"][FONT="Book Antiqua"][FONT="Arial"][SIZE="1"][B]“And among His Signs is this that He created for you spouses of your own kind, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy for one another: verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” (Quran 30:21)[/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/SIZE][/SIZE]

                            Comment


                            • #74
                              Re: Unrestrained Glances

                              Originally posted by Khudakeliye View Post
                              hahaha! that was a good one.
                              sorry I didn't notice this reply was under a serious comment from queen7. I truly agree:
                              Though the tips are GREAT, Queen7 is also right: Islam has several times taught us to be balanced and never try to be tougher than the religion because the religion of Islam is tougher than us.
                              As experiences go by, I learn form my mistakes and el hamdulilah, I'm glad to be a practising "learning" muslimah as we will learn till our death inshAllah.

                              So brothers and sisters in Islam, fight against the sheytan as no matter how innocent you can be, a first glance can lead to a second one and open the heart and distrub your mind so to avoid the potential mess that follows a glance, let's then train on how to avoid a FIRST glance ;)

                              And as sister said, it is even more healthier for those who are married because then they give all their untainted love to the right owner, their partner in this dunia and inshAllah akhira otherwise a first glance can melt and spread into disappointment and uncomfort and doubts within a marriage which brings to an unhealthy marriage.
                              [SIZE="2"][/SIZE][SIZE="3"][SIZE="2"][FONT="Verdana"][FONT="Book Antiqua"][FONT="Arial"][SIZE="1"][B]“And among His Signs is this that He created for you spouses of your own kind, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy for one another: verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” (Quran 30:21)[/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][/FONT][/SIZE][/SIZE]

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                              • #75
                                Re: Unrestrained Glances

                                ok i hear so many people saying what is wrong watching news channels even if a lady is presenting? they are following the news not the lady, they claim
                                "Be A Lamp, A Lifeboat, A Ladder, Help Someone's Soul Heal. Walk Out Of Your House Like A Shepherd" - Rumi

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