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Marriage with a non-believing woman

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  • #16
    Re: Marriage with a non-believing woman

    Originally posted by muttaqun View Post
    This is my fear exactly. I was worried of what was going to become of my children. She wont have them trained on the right way. And soon she will be taking them to church. I'm really in a catch-22 situation.
    DO NOT MARRY HER, unless youre sure she believes in our deen
    May Allah Bless Us All.

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    • #17
      Re: Marriage with a non-believing woman

      Brother, there was a time when I was faced with a similar situation. But in my case, she was Jewish. However, we both decided to call it off due to many irreconcilable differences. If I did go through with it, I know I would have regretted it.
      I am Bangladeshi and I recognize Palestine as the #194 country

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      • #18
        Re: Marriage with a non-believing woman

        Originally posted by muttaqun View Post
        This is my fear exactly. I was worried of what was going to become of my children. She wont have them trained on the right way. And soon she will be taking them to church. I'm really in a catch-22 situation.
        you are not in catch 22, you simply walk away tell her you need a muslimah wife to help u raise muslim children,
        avatar from deviant art :)

        bring back PAGAL LADOOOO:up:

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        • #19
          Re: Marriage with a non-believing woman

          Asalamalikum.

          I'm no expert but I like to think that I can see both sides of the fence as when I got together with my husband I had no religion, I was merely suspicious that 'God' DID exist but had no real urge to find Him.

          The plus side of this is that you may find quite quickly that they discover Islam offers them something they've never had before - such was the case with me, and they become an eager Muslim. (My husband claims he always saw a spark in me and that's what made me stick out from the others even thought I still lived pretty much the same life they did.)

          The down side you have is that if they already have a faith (such as Christians and Jews who are believers of the book, not true unbelievers) and they are happy with that, then they may not find anything is missing spiritually and so they are unlikely to ever convert and to want their children to be Muslims rather than whatever their religion is.

          I like to support marriage outside of your nation (to join the 'tribes') and also marriage to other people of the book as long as you can live in harmony together....but in all seriousness you can not go around expecting people to convert. It's unrealistic and not fair on them. They could be the happiest Christain/Jew around and you're trying to force some foreign belief on them.
          When there are plenty of eligable Muslim women available to you, I do not see the rational thinking in marrying someone of another faith.
          Bismill‚h ir-Rahm‚n ir-RahÓm
          Qul huwa All‚hu ahad
          All‚hus-samad
          Lam yalid wa lam yŻlad
          Wa lam yakul-la-hŻ kufu-wan ahad
          - *[Mabrook, you just earned blessings by reading my sig :D ]*

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          • #20
            Re: Marriage with a non-believing woman

            I find this a difficult question because when I met my muslim husband, I was christian. I can honestly say I was a bit put off by the fact that he was muslim, although I also wasn't a 'practicisng' christian and didn't believe Jesus was God.

            Anyway, we did marry and straight away he wanted me to change how i dressed etc, this cause a problem for me initially, i found it very hard to adjust and felt very frumpy.

            However, i grew to like how i dressed and became more interested in islam, eventually something happened that made me believe in Mohammed (pbuh) as that had really been my only 'barrier', I had always believed in God.

            Now both me and my son are muslim (I had a child prior to the marriage). Learning about Islam changed my life and did give me something that I had been searching for, a sense of belongingness, it felt like it 'fit' me. Most of the things have not been difficult to give up but it has been such a bumpy journey for me, and still is, I lack motivation for prayer 5 times daily, but inshaallah i will improve, we all have our difficulties i think.

            The trouble is, It added extra problems to our marriage i think, its hard enough getting married and coming together without having extra things to deal with. Islam affects all areas of life and its hard for a new revert to know what is islamic and what is cultural and what is PERSONALITY!

            It can be done, even if my marriage doesn't work out i will stay muslim because its what i believe, but given the choice i wouldnt recommend people do it simply because it is really hard, and thats IF your wife accepts Islam, even harder if she doesnt.

            While i feel its unfair to dismiss someone based on their religion, because aren't they 'misguided', it really is a hard situation and perhaps it would be wise to talk about all the differences first, you might find she agrees on alot of issues, or you might find she doesnt... I am always very sceptical of people who marry and say I am christian but i will raise the children muslim, I dont think that can possibly work, what about school discos? christmas? eating halal? sweets/geletine? I dont think these people think it through - but i could be wrong.

            My husband has a child from a previous marriage to a non muslim (does not believe in God at all), she agreed to raise the child muslim, but he now celebrates x-mas, with bacon at the table, he is not interested in anything much religious, he does not want to go to the mosque, and its really heartbreaking for my husband.

            very difficult, I wish you luck.

            Salaam aleikum

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            • #21
              Re: Marriage with a non-believing woman

              why marry a non believing woman when there are many Allah fearing pious muslimahs instead.

              If she is guided to islam then marry her otherwise it aint worth it.

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              • #22
                Re: Marriage with a non-believing woman

                Originally posted by muttaqun View Post
                I just met this lady that I like and will want marriage with but she is a christian. I'm confused and really don't know what to do. And Allah says, a believing man should not marry a believing woman until she has believed. So I was thinking maybe she can be converted to the true religion.
                *laughs* but in sadness !

                Well its not as bad as a married man having those thoughts .... whats up with u men ... dont u know that u are blessed to have muslims...what did the prophet say , he said the best thing in this life is to be married to a pious woman ! she can remind you to pray , u can help one another WITHOUT pride , let ur wife help too and as well as u ... there is no space for pride in islam anyway -u dont go to jannah with it ! Maybe its this control thing that men like wanting a woman that doesn't know much about deen so he can tell her everything, coz he da man ... argh, pathetic - think about pleasing allah !
                Abu Huraira (ra) narrated that the messenger of Allah (saw) said 'Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales; and do not look at the faults of others, and do not indulge in spying on one another..do not be jealous of one another and do not hate one another, O Allah's worshippers! Be brothers' (Sahih Bukhari)

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                • #23
                  Re: Marriage with a non-believing woman

                  Maybe its this control thing that men like wanting a woman that doesn't know much about deen so he can tell her everything, coz he da man ... argh, pathetic - think about pleasing allah !
                  Men no longer are in control.

                  If the men were in control than we would'nt be in the mess we in now.

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