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  • Marriage with a non-believing woman

    I just met this lady that I like and will want marriage with but she is a christian. I'm confused and really don't know what to do. And Allah says, a believing man should not marry a believing woman until she has believed. So I was thinking maybe she can be converted to the true religion.

  • #2
    Re: Marriage with a non-believing woman

    u can marry the people of the book, though I strongly advise against it, because of the extra chance of divorce, and because in the west, if you get the divorced, the mother always get the kids, and she is gon teach your kids the kuffr ways and teach them to hate you
    May Allah Bless Us All.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Marriage with a non-believing woman

      Originally posted by Cartman View Post
      u can marry the people of the book, though I strongly advise against it, because of the extra chance of divorce, and because in the west, if you get the divorced, the mother always get the kids, and she is gon teach your kids the kuffr ways and teach them to hate you
      Thats right... its best to avoid... there are heaps of muslim chicks around the world.... why not marry one of them bro?

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Marriage with a non-believing woman

        Originally posted by muttaqun View Post
        I just met this lady that I like and will want marriage with but she is a christian. I'm confused and really don't know what to do. And Allah says, a believing man should not marry a believing woman until she has believed. So I was thinking maybe she can be converted to the true religion.
        here are the rulings here, if u can find a chriatian woman who has never had a boyfreind, and who has never done zinnah ..then she is permissible for marriage though its not reccomended at all because where will u find a chaste christian woman, who dresses and behaves modestly.

        Her accepting Islam is between her and Allah ta ala, dont think for one moment that she might do it for ur convienience in marriage because it has to come from the heart. i see too many farce marriages here by brothers, where a woman sticks on a hijab on her weding day says :lailah: is told shes a muslim, and doesnt know how to pray or have any interest in the deen at all and the kids arent raised on the deen, drinking and pork eating and christmas celebrations going on in the home...I dont know why brothers want to marry such women at all except perhaps that they can see all their beauty on display and its alluring to them. Allahu alam.

        http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=119371
        Last edited by *asiya*; 25-12-07, 11:27 AM.
        "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

        The Prophet :saw: said:

        "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

        muslim

        Narrated 'Abdullah:

        The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


        "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

        By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

        [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Marriage with a non-believing woman

          Originally posted by muttaqun View Post
          I just met this lady that I like and will want marriage with but she is a christian. I'm confused and really don't know what to do. And Allah says, a believing man should not marry a believing woman until she has believed. So I was thinking maybe she can be converted to the true religion.

          why would u choose a kufr woman when so many believing women are waiting for pious husbands, how will this unbelieving woman help u raise pious children to make duas for u when u are in your grave when she doesnt even know surah al fatiha?
          avatar from deviant art :)

          bring back PAGAL LADOOOO:up:

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Marriage with a non-believing woman

            Originally posted by ummbilal View Post
            why would u choose a kufr woman when so many believing women are waiting for pious husbands, how will this unbelieving woman help u raise pious children to make duas for u when u are in your grave when she doesnt even know surah al fatiha?
            My thoughts exactly!
            Unfortunately some of our Muslim men have always been drawn by the superficial beauty of the disbelieving women..

            Comment


            • #7
              If she believes that Jesus/Isa (as) is God then you cannot marry her, since she is a Mushrik/pagan etc.

              Ma'aSalaama
              IBNMUSLIM
              Bringing the Youth back to the Truth

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Marriage with a non-believing woman

                Originally posted by Tranquillity View Post
                My thoughts exactly!
                Unfortunately some of our Muslim men have always been drawn by the superficial beauty of the disbelieving women..
                And their miniskirts :D
                The Prophet :saw: said: "The Muslim Ummah is a unique Ummah among the whole of mankind: Their Land is one, their War is one, their Peace is one, their Honor is one and their Trust is one." (Ahmed)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Marriage with a non-believing woman

                  Originally posted by tickledpinko View Post
                  And their miniskirts :D
                  or lack of

                  And if she's a mushrik, and only she will know, it would be haram, and foolish, to marry her.
                  ...sermons from this minbar come with tongue planted quite firmly in cheek.


                  "Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need -
                  a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends,
                  worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you,
                  a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear,
                  and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing."

                  -- Jerome K. Jerome
                  (Three Men in a Boat)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Marriage with a non-believing woman

                    It is allowed to marry a christian or a jewish woman!! But to say who has never ever had a boyfriend, now this is not correct! Because she may have had then repented!! Just like a muslimah!


                    But I do not recommend marrying non-muslims anyway!
                    I looooooooooooooooooooooooooove Saudi.:inlove::inlove::inlove: I truely dooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.:) :) :)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Marriage with a non-believing woman

                      Originally posted by Saudi Prince View Post
                      It is allowed to marry a christian or a jewish woman!! But to say who has never ever had a boyfriend, now this is not correct! Because she may have had then repented!! Just like a muslimah!


                      But I do not recommend marrying non-muslims anyway!
                      True, but surely the condition that she may not be a mushrik still applies? no?

                      I understand your point about repentance, but I think it's generally accepted that the woman be chaste.
                      ...sermons from this minbar come with tongue planted quite firmly in cheek.


                      "Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need -
                      a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends,
                      worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you,
                      a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear,
                      and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing."

                      -- Jerome K. Jerome
                      (Three Men in a Boat)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Marriage with a non-believing woman

                        Are the Jews and Christians who exist nowadays mushrikeen (polytheists) and is it permissible to marry their women?

                        Question:
                        What is the ruling on marrying a Jewish or Christian woman? Are the Jews and Christians of this age regarded as people of the Book or as mushrikeen?.

                        Answer:
                        Praise be to Allaah.

                        Marriage to a Jewish or Christian woman is permissible according to the view of the majority of scholars. Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Mughni (7/99):

                        There is no difference of opinion among the scholars concerning the permissibility of marrying free women of the people of the Book. Among those from whom this view was narrated are ‘Umar, ‘Uthmaan, Talhah, Hudhayfah, Salmaan, Jaabir, and others.

                        Ibn al-Mundhir said: There is no sound narration from any of the earliest generation to suggest that this is haraam. Al-Khallaal narrated, with his isnaad, that Hudhayfah, Talhah, al-Jaarood ibn al-Mu’alla and Udhaynah al-‘Abdi all married women from among the people of the Book. This was also the view of the rest of the scholars.

                        The main evidence concerning that is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

                        “Made lawful to you this day are At Tayyibaat [all kinds of Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products, fats, vegetables and fruits)]. The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends. And whosoever disbelieves in Faith, [i.e. in the Oneness of Allaah and in all the other Articles of Faith i.e. His (Allaah’s) Angels, His Holy Books, His Messengers, the Day of Resurrection and Al Qadar (Divine Preordainments)], then fruitless is his work; and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers”

                        [al-Maa'idah 5:5]

                        What is meant by muhsanah (translated here as chaste) is free and chaste women. Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his Tafseer:

                        This is the view of the majority here, and this is what appears to be the case; lest she not only be a dhimmiyah but also unchaste, in which case she will be totally corrupt and her husband will end up as described in the proverb, “He bought bad dates and was cheated in weights and measures too”. The apparent meaning of the verse is that what is meant by al-muhsanaat (chaste women) is women who refrain from zina, as Allaah says in another verse (interpretation of the meaning):

                        “they (the above said slave-girls) should be chaste [muhsanaat], not committing illegal sex, nor taking boyfriends”


                        [al-Nisa’ 4:25]



                        The Christians and Jews are kuffaar and mushrikeen, according to the Qur’aan, but they are excluded from the prohibition on marrying their women, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):


                        “And do not marry Al-Mushrikaat (idolatresses) till they believe (worship Allaah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you”

                        [al-Baqarah 2:221]

                        This is the clearest way of reconciling between the two verses.

                        Allaah has described them as being mushrikeen as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

                        “They (Jews and Christians) took their rabbis and their monks to be their lords besides Allaah (by obeying them in things which they made lawful or unlawful according to their own desires without being ordered by Allaah), and (they also took as their Lord) Messiah, son of Maryam (Mary), while they (Jews and Christians) were commanded [in the Tawraat (Torah) and the Injeel (Gospel)] to worship none but One Ilaah (God — Allaah) Laa ilaaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He). Praise and glory be to Him (far above is He) from having the partners they associate (with Him)”

                        [al-Tawbah 9:31]

                        So they are kuffaar and mushrikeen, but Allaah has permitted us to eat their meat and to marry their women if they are chaste. This is an exemption from the general meaning of the verse in Soorat al-Baqarah.

                        But it should be noted that it is better and safer not to marry women of the people of the Book, especially nowadays. Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “… as this is the case, it is better not to marry a woman of the people of the Book, because ‘Umar said to those who married women of the people of the Book: ‘Divorce them,’ so they divorced them, except Hudhayfah. ‘Umar said to him: ‘Divorce her.’ (Hudhayfah) said: ‘Do you bear witness that she is haraam?’ He said: ‘She is a live coal, divorce her.’ He said: ‘Do you bear witness that she is haraam?’ He said: ‘She is a live coal.’ He said: ‘I know that she is a live coal, but she is permissible for me.’ A while later, he divorced her and it was said to him: ‘Why did you not divorce her when ‘Umar commanded you to?’ He said: ‘I did not want the people to think that I had done something wrong (by marrying her).’ Perhaps he was fond of her or perhaps they had a child together so he was fond of her.”

                        Al-Mughni, 7/99

                        Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “If the woman of the people of the Book is known to be chaste and to keep away from the means that lead to immorality, it is permissible, because Allaah has permitted that and has permitted us to marry their woman and eat their meat.
                        “But nowadays there is the fear that those who marry them may be faced with much evil. They may call him to their religion and that may lead to their children being raised as Christians. So the danger is very real and very serious. To be on the safe side, the believer should not marry them. And in most cases there is no guarantee that the woman will not commit immoral actions, or bring along children from a previous relationship… but if the man needs to do that then there is no sin on him, so that he can keep himself chaste and lower his gaze by being married to her. He should strive to call her to Islam and beware of her evil and of allowing her to drag him or the children towards kufr.”

                        Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/172

                        And Allaah knows best.
                        "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

                        The Prophet :saw: said:

                        "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

                        muslim

                        Narrated 'Abdullah:

                        The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


                        "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

                        By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

                        [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Marriage with a non-believing woman

                          Originally posted by Joha View Post
                          True, but surely the condition that she may not be a mushrik still applies? no?

                          I understand your point about repentance, but I think it's generally accepted that the woman be chaste.
                          Allah confirms this! They say Jesus is the son of God and they are kafer too! But you can still marry them!
                          I looooooooooooooooooooooooooove Saudi.:inlove::inlove::inlove: I truely dooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.:) :) :)

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Marriage with a non-believing woman

                            Originally posted by Saudi Prince View Post
                            Allah confirms this! They say Jesus is the son of God and they are kafer too! But you can still marry them!
                            ah, you're right, Jazakum Allah, that verse had completely slipped my mind, that Allah swt has already acknowledged their shirk, but nevertheless allowed an exception.

                            And Jazaki Allah sis Asiya...

                            I always wonder though, where you draw the line. Where it is that they stop becoming of the people of the book (and mushriks) and just become plain mushriks. After all they're plenty of types of christians, with wildly varying ideas.

                            Some that claim not to even believe in the divinity of Jesus - they'd be considered heretics by most christians. Should we do the same?

                            Tricky issue - not as plain as it is to make out. Do we take them at their word? If they profess to be of the 'nasaarah', is that it?

                            Don't make too much of it, I'm just musing.
                            Last edited by Joha; 25-12-07, 08:12 PM.
                            ...sermons from this minbar come with tongue planted quite firmly in cheek.


                            "Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need -
                            a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends,
                            worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you,
                            a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear,
                            and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing."

                            -- Jerome K. Jerome
                            (Three Men in a Boat)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Marriage with a non-believing woman

                              Originally posted by ummbilal View Post
                              why would u choose a kufr woman when so many believing women are waiting for pious husbands, how will this unbelieving woman help u raise pious children to make duas for u when u are in your grave when she doesnt even know surah al fatiha?
                              This is my fear exactly. I was worried of what was going to become of my children. She wont have them trained on the right way. And soon she will be taking them to church. I'm really in a catch-22 situation.

                              Comment

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