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is it haram for a brother to propose..........

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  • #91
    Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

    Originally posted by abubakarbristol View Post
    So you are saying that as a Convert, I am not allowed to marry you?

    What other extra restrictions does your 'brand' of Islam want to be put on us ?

    This smells of racism to me.

    I'M not saying that.

    what im saying is that thats how some cultural families are and those are the rules. so ya like in my family my dad wouldnt 'let' me marry a convert no matter how religious he was, how much he earned, whether he had a lamborghini or not, how tall and good looking he is, etc.

    unfortunately.

    i wouldnt call it racism... its just wat some parents prefer to preserve similar values, communication, etc. but ya its not islamic for sure, its not right either but hey, wat can u do without creating chaos and keeping everyone happy.....
    Screaming, But Will Never Be Heard

    Comment


    • #92
      Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

      Well, if that's not racist, I don't know what is. I don't understand why some people think 'born' Muslims are so much better than reverts. One is no better or worse than the other.

      Comment


      • #93
        Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

        Originally posted by Pro_Candy View Post
        Well, if that's not racist, I don't know what is. I don't understand why some people think 'born' Muslims are so much better than reverts. One is no better or worse than the other.

        no one said one is better than the other. and some ppl dont choose someone thinking 'my own culture is better than others'.

        i already said the reason why some ppl prefer to marry within their culture.
        Screaming, But Will Never Be Heard

        Comment


        • #94
          Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

          I just think it's sad that some people can't marry out of their culture, tribe, or family, because their family (father) won't let them. When a couple gets married, it is the couple who must live together and make compromises and love eachother. The families, though they are a big part of our lives, do not have to deal with the day to day things that the married people do. People should be a bit more free to marry someone of their choice, not the choice of their dad.

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          • #95
            Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

            Originally posted by Pro_Candy View Post
            I just think it's sad that some people can't marry out of their culture, tribe, or family, because their family (father) won't let them. When a couple gets married, it is the couple who must live together and make compromises and love eachother. The families, though they are a big part of our lives, do not have to deal with the day to day things that the married people do. People should be a bit more free to marry someone of their choice, not the choice of their dad.

            ya i know
            Screaming, But Will Never Be Heard

            Comment


            • #96
              Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

              Originally posted by Pro_Candy View Post
              I just think it's sad that some people can't marry out of their culture, tribe, or family, because their family (father) won't let them. When a couple gets married, it is the couple who must live together and make compromises and love eachother. The families, though they are a big part of our lives, do not have to deal with the day to day things that the married people do. People should be a bit more free to marry someone of their choice, not the choice of their dad.
              :salams,

              I believe the next generation (our one) will be more Islamic when it comes to marriage, since everyone will be able to speak English!! Not only that, we're not racist or cultural since we have mixed with different races and people, Muslim, non-Muslim and kufar alike and our values are based upon Islam inshaAllah.

              Wassalam.
              "How often it is that a small action is made great by its intention, and a great action is made small by its intention." [Abdullah ibn al-Mubarak]


              The Messenger of Allah raised us, And with Islam gave us life,
              And taught us to become... aides to the religion of Allah
              We became united by the light of his guidance, As brethren and like relatives
              And he watered our souls every time... we were thirsty for faith.
              Rasul Allah Nasheed by Abu Ali

              Comment


              • #97
                Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

                Originally posted by GuCcI View Post
                no one said one is better than the other. and some ppl dont choose someone thinking 'my own culture is better than others'.

                i already said the reason why some ppl prefer to marry within their culture.
                well my uncle thinks so. like he sed converts are not even muslim
                'Whenever I remember that day.......I think Allah will never forgive me---- and I faint' :lailah:
                Sa'eed Ibn Amir (ra)

                Comment


                • #98
                  Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

                  Originally posted by Z-Blade View Post
                  :salams,

                  I believe the next generation (our one) will be more Islamic when it comes to marriage, since everyone will be able to speak English!! Not only that, we're not racist or cultural since we have mixed with different races and people, Muslim, non-Muslim and kufar alike and our values are based upon Islam inshaAllah.

                  Wassalam.
                  w.salam

                  umm, yeh i agree...it's apparent that past generations hold different views n have different values in respect to marriage...compared to the newer generation, for reasons uv already said ^.
                  من صمت نجا

                  He who keeps silent saves himself (Tirmidhi, Ahmad).

                  Comment


                  • #99
                    Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

                    :salams,

                    Originally posted by LiveIslam View Post
                    well my uncle thinks so. like he sed converts are not even muslim
                    That blatantly shows your uncle's ignorance of Islam :(.

                    Originally posted by ify View Post
                    w.salam

                    umm, yeh i agree...it's apparent that past generations hold different views n have different values in respect to marriage...compared to the newer generation, for reasons uv already said ^.
                    Yeah, we should only base marriage on the 4 factors that the Prophet :saw: said, which is taqwa (piety), nobility, looks and wealth. But the number 1 priority should be taqwa, as the Prophet :saw: said! :up:

                    Wassalam.
                    "How often it is that a small action is made great by its intention, and a great action is made small by its intention." [Abdullah ibn al-Mubarak]


                    The Messenger of Allah raised us, And with Islam gave us life,
                    And taught us to become... aides to the religion of Allah
                    We became united by the light of his guidance, As brethren and like relatives
                    And he watered our souls every time... we were thirsty for faith.
                    Rasul Allah Nasheed by Abu Ali

                    Comment


                    • Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

                      Originally posted by Z-Blade View Post
                      :salams,



                      That blatantly shows your uncle's ignorance of Islam :(.



                      Yeah, we should only base marriage on the 4 factors that the Prophet :saw: said, which is taqwa (piety), nobility, looks and wealth. But the number 1 priority should be taqwa, as the Prophet :saw: said! :up:

                      Wassalam.
                      Another thing my uncle sed that there is hadith that the prophet sed you have to get married to your own tribe/culture. does anyone know?
                      'Whenever I remember that day.......I think Allah will never forgive me---- and I faint' :lailah:
                      Sa'eed Ibn Amir (ra)

                      Comment


                      • Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

                        Originally posted by LiveIslam View Post
                        Another thing my uncle sed that there is hadith that the prophet sed you have to get married to your own tribe/culture. does anyone know?
                        :salams,

                        LoL! I've never heard this hadith before?! :scratch: It sounds something against Islam, and not apart of Islam to be honest. Islam is against any form of nationalism - Islam is about unity between different people:

                        49:13
                        يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَاكُم مِّن ذَكَرٍ وَأُنثَى وَجَعَلْنَاكُمْ شُعُوبًا وَقَبَائِلَ لِتَعَارَفُوا إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِندَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَاكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ
                        O humankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most honourable of you with Allah is that (believer) who is most pious. Verily, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware.

                        Wassalam.
                        "How often it is that a small action is made great by its intention, and a great action is made small by its intention." [Abdullah ibn al-Mubarak]


                        The Messenger of Allah raised us, And with Islam gave us life,
                        And taught us to become... aides to the religion of Allah
                        We became united by the light of his guidance, As brethren and like relatives
                        And he watered our souls every time... we were thirsty for faith.
                        Rasul Allah Nasheed by Abu Ali

                        Comment


                        • Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

                          :salams,

                          Here's the relevant tafsir from Tafsir Ibn Kathir for the verse, which contradicts what your uncle said:



                          Honor is earned through Taqwa of Allah

                          Allah the Exalted said,

                          ﴿إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عَندَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَـكُمْ﴾

                          (Verily, the most honorable of you with Allah is that (believer) who has At-Taqwa.) meaning, `you earn honor with Allah the Exalted on account of Taqwa, not family lineage.' There are many Hadiths from the Prophet that support this meaning. Al-Bukhari narrated that Abu Hurayrah said, "Some people asked the Prophet , `Who is the most honorable among people' He replied,

                          «أَكْرَمُهُمْ عِنْدَ اللهِ أَتْقَاهُم»

                          (The most honorable among them with Allah is the one who has the most Taqwa.) They said, `We did not ask you about this.' He said,

                          «فَأَكْرَمُ النَّاسِ يُوسُفُ نَبِيُّ اللهِ، ابْنُ نَبِيِّ اللهِ، ابْنِ نَبِيِّ اللهِ ابْنِ خَلِيلِ الله»

                          (Then the most honorable person is Yusuf, Allah's Prophet, the son of Allah's Prophet, the son of Allah's Prophet, the son of Allah's Khalil.) They said, `We did not ask you about this.' He said,

                          «فَعَنْ مَعَادِنِ الْعَرَبِ تَسْأَلُونِّي»

                          ؟ (Then you want to ask me about the Arab lineage) They said, `Yes.' He said,

                          «فَخِيَارُكُمْ فِي الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ خِيَارُكُمْ فِي الْإِسْلَامِ إِذَا فَقُهُوا»

                          (Those among you who were best in Jahiliyyah, are the best among you in Islam, if they attain religious understanding.)'' Al-Bukhari collected this Hadith in several places of his Sahih, An-Nasa'i did as well in the Tafsir section of his Sunan. Muslim recorded that Abu Hurayrah said that the Messenger of Allah said,

                          «إِنَّ اللهَ لَا يَنْظُرُ إِلَى صُوَرِكُمْ وَأَمْوَالِكُمْ وَلكِنْ يَنْظُرُ إِلَى قُلُوبِكُمْ وَأَعْمَالِكُم»

                          (Verily, Allah does not look at your shapes or wealth, but he looks at your hearts and actions.) Ibn Majah also collected this Hadith. Ibn Abi Hatim recorded that `Abdullah bin `Umar said, "On the day Makkah was conquered, the Messenger of Allah performed Tawaf around the Ka`bah while riding his camel, Al-Qaswa', and was touching the corners with a stick he had in his hand. He did not find a place in the Masjid where his camel could sit and had to dismount on men's hands. He led his camel to the bottom of the valley, where he had her sit down. The Messenger of Allah later gave a speech while riding Al-Qaswa' and said, after thanking Allah the Exalted and praising Him as He should be praised,

                          «يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّ اللهَ تَعَالَى قَدْ أَذْهَبَ عَنْكُمْ عُبِّيَّةَ الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ وَتَعَظُّمَهَا بِآبَائِهَا، فَالنَّاسُ رَجُلَانِ: رَجُلٌ بَرٌّ تَقِيٌّ كَرِيمٌ عَلَى اللهِ تَعَالَى، وَرَجُلٌ فَاجِرٌ شَقِيٌّ هَيِّنٌ عَلَى اللهِ تَعَالَى، إِنَّ اللهَ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ يَقُولُ:

                          ﴿يأَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَـكُم مِّن ذَكَرٍ وَأُنْثَى وَجَعَلْنَـكُمْ شُعُوباً وَقَبَآئِلَ لِتَعَـرَفُواْ إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عَندَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَـكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ ﴾»

                          (O people! Allah the Exalted has removed from you the slogans of Jahiliyyah and its tradition of honoring forefathers. Men are of two types, a man who is righteous, fearful of Allah and honorable to Allah, or a man who is vicious, miserable and little to Allah the Exalted. Verily, Allah the Exalted and Most Honored said, (O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most honorable of you with Allah is that (believer) who has At-Taqwa. Verily, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware.)) The Prophet said,

                          «أَقُولُ قَوْلِي هذَا وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللهَ لِي وَلَكُم»

                          (I say this and invoke Allah for forgiveness for me and for you.)'' This was recorded by `Abd bin Humayd. Allah the Exalted said,

                          ﴿إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلَيمٌ خَبِيرٌ﴾

                          (Verily, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware.) means, `He is All-Knowing of you and All-Aware of all of your affairs.' Allah guides whom He wills, misguides whom He wills, grants mercy to whom He wills, tor- ments whom He wills, elevates whom He wills above whom He wills. He is the All-Wise, the All-Knowing, the All-Aware in all this. Several scholars relied on this honorable Ayah and the honora- ble Hadiths we menti- oned as evidence that compatibility in marriage is not a condition of marriage contracts. They said that the only condition required in this regard is the adherence to the religion, as in the statement of Allah, the Exalted,

                          ﴿إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عَندَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَـكُمْ﴾ (Verily, the most honorable of you with Allah is the one with the most Taqwa. )


                          Wassalam.
                          "How often it is that a small action is made great by its intention, and a great action is made small by its intention." [Abdullah ibn al-Mubarak]


                          The Messenger of Allah raised us, And with Islam gave us life,
                          And taught us to become... aides to the religion of Allah
                          We became united by the light of his guidance, As brethren and like relatives
                          And he watered our souls every time... we were thirsty for faith.
                          Rasul Allah Nasheed by Abu Ali

                          Comment


                          • Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

                            Originally posted by LiveIslam View Post
                            well my uncle thinks so. like he sed converts are not even muslim
                            All the sahaba were converts.
                            "Past the seeker as he prayed came the crippled and the beggar and the beaten. And seeing them...he cried, "Great God, how is it that a loving creator can see such things and yet do nothing about them?"...God said, "I did do something. I made you."" -- Sufi Teaching

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