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is it haram for a brother to propose..........

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  • is it haram for a brother to propose..........

    Just wanted to know is this haram. My uncle told me that if a brother came and proposed and asked her father directly its totally haram or is it cultural thing?. inshallah please quote the quran or hadith.

    jazakallah khair:)
    'Whenever I remember that day.......I think Allah will never forgive me---- and I faint' :lailah:
    Sa'eed Ibn Amir (ra)

  • #2
    Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

    for a brother to ask a girl's dad if he could marry her? no its not haram... that is her wali its fine, then her dad can ask her if she is interested or not.

    it must be sumthing cultural but how does ur uncle think someone should propose then??
    .: Rufaida :.
    .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.
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    “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
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    ~ Ibn Atallah

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    • #3
      Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

      Its not haram to ask for a girls hand in marriage by approaching the father directly.

      Better approaching her father than asking her if she'll marry him!

      I think he was assuming its best if he speaks to the girl and THEN gets her to discuss it with her parents so they're aware of it before approaching her father? :scratch:
      You are not aware of the consequences that would result (if you were granted what you desire) because what you seek might be to your detriment. (O soul) be conscious that your Master is more aware about your well-being than you are.

      ~Ibn Al-Jawzee

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      • #4
        Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

        me and my uncle wer having a debate and he was like he can give evidence and that if i ask any alim they wud say the exact same thing as him. he was saying it aint cultural, and that if sum1 propsed to him for his sister he wud beat the crap out him. its disrespectful and embrassing.

        he also sed when ali proposed for fatimah he didnt go to Muhammad SAW directly, so from that we are not allowed. so he says
        'Whenever I remember that day.......I think Allah will never forgive me---- and I faint' :lailah:
        Sa'eed Ibn Amir (ra)

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        • #5
          Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

          then who does he say the person should go to? if not her family?
          .: Rufaida :.
          .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.
          http://s61.photobucket.com/albums/h6...th_Silence.jpg
          “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
          but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
          ~ Ibn Atallah

          Ramadan Activities for Children
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          • #6
            Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

            yeah n she wud never get married.

            its just an overload of cultural crap compressed into ones brain.

            I dont personally mean anyone.
            “The great Imam ash-Shafi’, he went to his teacher Waki`
            Complaining about the weakness of his memory.
            He told him, ‘abandon rebellion, for knowledge is a light
            And the light of Allah is not bestowed upon a rebel.”

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            • #7
              Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

              i think he means the guy shouldnt go directly to the girl's father but get HIS father or guardian to approach her father

              ya its cultural.... i think my dad would flip if a guy went to him personally for marriage.. "besharam".... *sigh*....
              Screaming, But Will Never Be Heard

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              • #8
                Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

                Originally posted by GuCcI View Post
                i think he means the guy shouldnt go directly to the girl's father but get HIS father or guardian to approach her father

                ya its cultural.... i think my dad would flip if a guy went to him personally for marriage.. "besharam".... *sigh*....
                yer he does but then i was saying what if he was a convert. then he sed the same so i was thinking converts are not allowed to get married only if their parents are muslim. he sed other stuff which got me angry to . like he sed even if they are convert they aint muslim. who the hell is he to judge
                'Whenever I remember that day.......I think Allah will never forgive me---- and I faint' :lailah:
                Sa'eed Ibn Amir (ra)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

                  Originally posted by LiveIslam View Post
                  yer he does but then i was saying what if he was a convert. then he sed the same so i was thinking converts are not allowed to get married only if their parents are muslim. he sed other stuff which got me angry to . like he sed even if they are convert they aint muslim. who the hell is he to judge
                  then according to ur uncle, sahabas were not Muslim because they were not born into Islam but they accepted it when they heard the message, some even being hostile towards islam first like Umar radhiallahu anhu... and this opinion is totally devoid of any truth or logic so basically sis ignore him because what he is saying is not correct, so there is not ne benefit in listening to that.
                  .: Rufaida :.
                  .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.
                  http://s61.photobucket.com/albums/h6...th_Silence.jpg
                  “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
                  but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
                  ~ Ibn Atallah

                  Ramadan Activities for Children
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                  • #10
                    Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

                    Originally posted by .: Anna :. View Post
                    then according to ur uncle, sahabas were not Muslim because they were not born into Islam but they accepted it when they heard the message, some even being hostile towards islam first like Umar radhiallahu anhu... and this opinion is totally devoid of any truth or logic so basically sis ignore him because what he is saying is not correct, so there is not ne benefit in listening to that.
                    i know sis but it its ur whole family agreeing to this kinda think its gets upsetting:(
                    'Whenever I remember that day.......I think Allah will never forgive me---- and I faint' :lailah:
                    Sa'eed Ibn Amir (ra)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

                      Originally posted by LiveIslam View Post
                      yer he does but then i was saying what if he was a convert. then he sed the same so i was thinking converts are not allowed to get married only if their parents are muslim. he sed other stuff which got me angry to . like he sed even if they are convert they aint muslim. who the hell is he to judge

                      lol he denies being cultural... but it sounds more tribe-ish to me :p sorry, j/k haha... anyway... i thought my parents were super cultural
                      Screaming, But Will Never Be Heard

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                      • #12
                        No, it's not haram.

                        What if the brother's parents where not supportive of him, and he has the financial stability and independence to get married. What then?

                        The first, and only time I did propose it didn't go too well. Because I went alone.
                        IBNMUSLIM
                        Bringing the Youth back to the Truth

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                        • #13
                          Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

                          Originally posted by Hisham Abu View Post
                          No, it's not haram.

                          What if the brother's parents where not supportive of him, and he has the financial stability and independence to get married. What then?

                          The first, and only time I did propose it didn't go too well. Because I went alone.
                          should of taken ur best mate or sumthing
                          'Whenever I remember that day.......I think Allah will never forgive me---- and I faint' :lailah:
                          Sa'eed Ibn Amir (ra)

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

                            Originally posted by LiveIslam View Post
                            i know sis but it its ur whole family agreeing to this kinda think its gets upsetting:(
                            make dua for them sis for Allah to guide them to the correct thinking insha Allah and try not to be tooo sad, insha Allah u will be able to get married to someone who does not have all these cultural ways of thinking and bases their thinking on quran and sunnah and it will be great, and insha allah such a person could b a good influence towards ur family aswell... just make alot of dua n try to keep positive :love:
                            .: Rufaida :.
                            .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.
                            http://s61.photobucket.com/albums/h6...th_Silence.jpg
                            “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
                            but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
                            ~ Ibn Atallah

                            Ramadan Activities for Children
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                            • #15
                              Re: is it haram for a brother to propose..........

                              Originally posted by Hisham Abu View Post
                              No, it's not haram.

                              What if the brother's parents where not supportive of him, and he has the financial stability and independence to get married. What then?

                              The first, and only time I did propose it didn't go too well. Because I went alone.

                              ya HONESTLY i wouldnt reccommend a guy approaching the girl's dad without his dad or guardian especially if her parents are 'cultural'...
                              it could end tragically..... :(
                              Screaming, But Will Never Be Heard

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