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  • #16
    Re: I'm no longer 'engaged'

    Sis, its good that you didnt get to know him. That way you would of never had the chance to love him and easily leave him. May Allah give you a more pious and caring husband.
    Surat Al-An'am verse 26: Of them there are some who (pretend to) listen to thee; but We have thrown veils on their hearts, so they understand it not, and deafness in their ears; if they saw every one of the Signs, they will not believe in them; in so much that when they come to thee; they (but) dispute with thee; the Unbelievers say: "These are nothing but tales of the ancients."

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    • #17
      Re: I'm no longer 'engaged'

      Originally posted by neelu View Post

      He can make excuses for himself- that's all he ever did anyway so I can't be bothered to assist him on that front.
      i meant it in the way that he is stil ur bro in islam so he does hav that right to make 70 excuses rather than think bad of him
      .: Rufaida :.
      .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.
      http://s61.photobucket.com/albums/h6...th_Silence.jpg
      “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
      but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
      ~ Ibn Atallah

      Ramadan Activities for Children
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      • #18
        Re: I'm no longer 'engaged'

        Originally posted by neelu View Post
        Salam,

        I know for several months I've mentioned on occassion in other threads that I was engaged but just thought I'd let you know fyi I'm not anymore. The brother concerned said he was still interested in me but after we first met in September 2006, he made no effort to meet me or my family for a whole year and I've finally run out of patience. Six months ago I told him that we're still in this 'limbo' situation whereby I'm neither free and single to find another rishta nor am I any closer to getting married to him because he keeps coming up with delays and excuses to avoid seeing me (but at the same time maintaining that he's still interested in me) and I don't want to find that in another six months I'm still in the same position- but that's exactly what happened. I phoned him a few weeks ago saying now a year has passed so tell me once and for all when I'd next see him; would it be within 6 months? or another year? He said he didn't know and I've reached a point now where I can't take any more of this from him so I've told him I'm moving on and no longer want any contact from him. I was very surprised to come across this sort of conduct from a practising convert Muslim who knows that Islam does not condone long engagements.

        Everyone's telling me now he wasn't worth it and I can do way better than that, but where the hell is 'better' and why wont anyone introduce me to him?


        wa alaikum aslaam sis

        sorry to hear about your situation sis, i have been hearing about so many of our brothers and sisters being tested lately (not that it doesnt happen ususally) may Allah swt grant u a good husband and sabr at this difficult stage you are at.

        Sis, Prophet SAW said ,we must never hasten Allah swt to answer our duas as there is a decreed time for things to happen in our lives.

        Hastening for the answr of our duas also shows we are not having sabr IMO.

        i understand what your going through i really do, when something is decreed for us, Allah swt removes all obstacles out the way and makes it easy for us to have, this seems a blessing in disguise to me, if he was unreliable now, who knows what Allah SWT has saved u from alhumdulillah.

        It might hurt now but with time inshallah u will see the wisdom of it.
        Last edited by MG; 29-09-07, 04:37 AM.
        The Prophet SAW said, "(There are2words which R dear 2 the most gracious (Allah SWT)&very easy4the tongue2say but very heavy in the balance.They are:Subhan Allahi Wa Bihamdihi - Subhan Allahil-Azim

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        • #19
          Re: I'm no longer 'engaged'

          wow is this like broken engagement day or something?
          Screaming, But Will Never Be Heard

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          • #20
            Re: I'm no longer 'engaged'

            I think it's a good way you have approached it. At least you let him know that marriage is not something to be taken lightly or drag on.

            Marriage is something both are willing to work on.

            It's just not right to tell a girl he's interested and not do anything.

            There may be reasons for his procrastination. But life still goes on.

            May Allah grant you your well deserved husband. Ameen.
            "There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path." - Morpheus, The Matrix. :hidban:

            "It would not be reasonable in me if I did not serve Him Who created me, and to Whom ye shall (all) be brought back." Surah 36:22. Ya Sin (Yusuf Ali Translation)

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            • #21
              Re: I'm no longer 'engaged'

              :start:

              :salams

              Sister:

              فَصَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ وَاللّهُ الْمُسْتَعَانُ
              www.ashaabulquran.com
              www.aladabalmufrad.wordpress.com

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              • #22
                Re: I'm no longer 'engaged'

                Originally posted by neelu View Post
                Salam,

                I know for several months I've mentioned on occassion in other threads that I was engaged but just thought I'd let you know fyi I'm not anymore. The brother concerned said he was still interested in me but after we first met in September 2006, he made no effort to meet me or my family for a whole year and I've finally run out of patience. Six months ago I told him that we're still in this 'limbo' situation whereby I'm neither free and single to find another rishta nor am I any closer to getting married to him because he keeps coming up with delays and excuses to avoid seeing me (but at the same time maintaining that he's still interested in me) and I don't want to find that in another six months I'm still in the same position- but that's exactly what happened. I phoned him a few weeks ago saying now a year has passed so tell me once and for all when I'd next see him; would it be within 6 months? or another year? He said he didn't know and I've reached a point now where I can't take any more of this from him so I've told him I'm moving on and no longer want any contact from him. I was very surprised to come across this sort of conduct from a practising convert Muslim who knows that Islam does not condone long engagements.

                Everyone's telling me now he wasn't worth it and I can do way better than that, but where the hell is 'better' and why wont anyone introduce me to him?
                Kick this flimsy flabby-willed testosterone-impaired joker to the curb, or kerb, and march into the much better future God has in store for you.

                Seriously, kiddo. Don't waste a minute feeling bad because this weakling couldn't make up his mind.

                Married life, especially married-life-with-kids, isn't for indecisive wimps. When you have kids, you have to be able to make very difficult decisions quickly.

                You don't want some ninny by your side who lacks the basic adult capacity for making solid decisions and sticking to them.

                Thank Almighty God that you're not going to spend your life with some fluttery indecisive goofball.

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                • #23
                  Re: I'm no longer 'engaged'

                  Originally posted by neelu View Post
                  Salam,

                  I know for several months I've mentioned on occassion in other threads that I was engaged but just thought I'd let you know fyi I'm not anymore. The brother concerned said he was still interested in me but after we first met in September 2006, he made no effort to meet me or my family for a whole year and I've finally run out of patience. Six months ago I told him that we're still in this 'limbo' situation whereby I'm neither free and single to find another rishta nor am I any closer to getting married to him because he keeps coming up with delays and excuses to avoid seeing me (but at the same time maintaining that he's still interested in me) and I don't want to find that in another six months I'm still in the same position- but that's exactly what happened. I phoned him a few weeks ago saying now a year has passed so tell me once and for all when I'd next see him; would it be within 6 months? or another year? He said he didn't know and I've reached a point now where I can't take any more of this from him so I've told him I'm moving on and no longer want any contact from him. I was very surprised to come across this sort of conduct from a practising convert Muslim who knows that Islam does not condone long engagements.

                  Everyone's telling me now he wasn't worth it and I can do way better than that, but where the hell is 'better' and why wont anyone introduce me to him?
                  ukhti, i think you did the right thing and Allah knows best. it sounds like to me this brother is not ready for marriage and has some commitment issues.


                  May Allah give us all pious husbands. ameen.
                  Say, O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”
                  (Surah Az Zumar, (Chapter 39: Verse 53)

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                  • #24
                    Re: I'm no longer 'engaged'

                    Originally posted by Amatullah Adn
                    removed.

                    removed.
                    What use is wordly happiness, if it comes at the cost of the hereafter?

                    [Note: I do not disagree with sisters having the final say, I don't agree with dating - as doesn't Islam]
                    Last edited by dhak1yya; 29-09-07, 08:25 PM.

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                    • #25
                      Re: I'm no longer 'engaged'

                      Sorry to hear the sad news

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                      • #26
                        Re: I'm no longer 'engaged'

                        Originally posted by Alpha Dude View Post


                        What use is wordly happiness, if it comes at the cost of the hereafter?

                        [Note: I do not disagree with sisters having the final say, I don't agree with dating - as doesn't Islam]
                        This attitude that 'wordly happiness' is nothing creates much misery here on earth, economic stagnation and backwardness. A culture of submission that doesn't help itself or others does nothing to honour Allah. Allah put us on this earth to enjoy ourselves and life itself is his gift. Sadly it is women and children who are asked to suffer, to submt and to obey. Men have much fewer contraints.
                        User Title Censored By Moderators

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                        • #27
                          Re: I'm no longer 'engaged'

                          Originally posted by Amatullah Adn View Post
                          This attitude that 'wordly happiness' is nothing creates much misery here on earth, economic stagnation and backwardness.
                          Well, that may be true. But, I didn't say worldly happiness is nothing. I implied that any kind of wordly happiness which goes against Islam, will be useless for your hereafter. Happiness is not forbidden in Islam.
                          A culture of submission that doesn't help itself or others does nothing to honour Allah.
                          :confused:
                          Women are free to accept or decline proposals which come their way.
                          Allah put us on this earth to enjoy ourselves and life itself is his gift.
                          I'm afraid that's wrong. Allah has put us here as a test.
                          Sadly it is women and children who are asked to suffer, to submt and to obey. Men have much fewer contraints.
                          When did anybody say forced marriages are right?

                          What I'm arguing against, is how you seem to think dating is permissible in Islam? :confused: And, how does me saying it is not permissible, equate to womens' rights being denied? :confused:

                          I don't know. I'd rather not get into an argument over this, especially in the sisters thread.

                          May Allah grant her a pious husband, ameen. :)

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                          • #28
                            Re: I'm no longer 'engaged'

                            SubhanAllah sis :) there is a reason for everything. Allah already knows who is written for you so inshaAllah just have sabr and he will come to you :) Atleast you know where you stand now- theres nothing worse than being in a state of limbo. InshaAllah May Allah (swt) guide you to a wonderful pious man very soon. Ameen.

                            youre a lovely lady :D you will get the best that you deserve inshaAllah! xx
                            *~* Learn Patience from Aasiyah (RA); Loyalty from Khadhija (RA); Sincerity from Aisha (RA) and Steadfastness from Fatima (RA).*~*

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                            • #29
                              Re: I'm no longer 'engaged'

                              Originally posted by Amatullah Adn
                              removed
                              Sorry but your in the wrong forum to give such advice

                              Unless you want the sister to commit zina which is a great sin

                              Shows how much you care about her hereafter!!
                              Last edited by dhak1yya; 29-09-07, 08:26 PM.

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                              • #30
                                Re: I'm no longer 'engaged'

                                Originally posted by Amatullah Adn
                                removed.
                                Now that is one response I did NOT expect to get on here:rotfl:
                                Last edited by dhak1yya; 29-09-07, 08:26 PM.
                                The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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