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How Far Can a Muslim Go to Stop a Bad Marriage?

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  • neelu
    replied
    Re: How Far Can a Muslim Go to Stop a Bad Marriage?

    Originally posted by Muslimah Wifey View Post
    FIRST THINGS FIRST...

    What is an Eastender??? Must be a UK joke...



    Do Muslims actually marry other Muslims for passports and divorce them? I have never heard of this happening. It is haram to get married if your intent is divorce so I feel sorry for them on yawm al qiyama...
    Eastenders is a popular drama series in the UK about a community living in the East end of London which I don't watch but I'm assuming they must've recently run a storyline about preventing a sham marriage from taking place.

    You are very lucky to be a sister who doesn't come across Muslims who do passport marriages. In my area I'd guesstimate that roughly 1 in 25 marriages that take place between British Muslims and Muslims of non Western nationalities are done for the passport. Some of them are forced between cousins by the parents and others are cases where a man in Pakistan would fool a girl and her family into thinking he's sincere about marriage and then he'd dump her about 3 years later as soon as his paperwork is completed.

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  • Muslimah Wifey
    replied
    Re: How Far Can a Muslim Go to Stop a Bad Marriage?

    FIRST THINGS FIRST...

    What is an Eastender??? Must be a UK joke...

    Originally posted by Cashew View Post

    Or a situation in which you know for certain that a person is marrying only to get a passport, and plans to divorce as soon as the passport is obtained.
    Do Muslims actually marry other Muslims for passports and divorce them? I have never heard of this happening. It is haram to get married if your intent is divorce so I feel sorry for them on yawm al qiyama...

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  • neelu
    replied
    Re: How Far Can a Muslim Go to Stop a Bad Marriage?

    I get what you're saying cashew and you're right. There was a similar thread by Gucci about a particular case here:

    http://ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=126496

    My brother complains bitterly to us as to why didn't anyone warn him before he got married that he would be in for so much trouble. Ignore the comments about jealousy cos' I know cashew isn't referring to that. The truth is cashew, if a person's reason for trying to prevent a marriage is genuine and sincere then that person has every right to advise against the marriage. Good deen and character are such essential criterion in looking for a potential spouse but if the person is only putting on an act of good character and wreaking havoc behind the scenes then it's better that people know about it before he/she ruins an unsuspecting innocent person's life.

    Admittedly though cashew, all a person can do is advise and whether the advice is taken on board or not is another story. Unfortunately a lot of people lose perspective when it comes to marriage and ignore the warning signs even if they're blatant and obvious.

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  • Ebony
    replied
    Re: How Far Can a Muslim Go to Stop a Bad Marriage?

    "Stop the nikkah!"

    I can't see that happening :p

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  • .: Rashid :.
    replied
    Re: How Far Can a Muslim Go to Stop a Bad Marriage?

    Originally posted by Cashew View Post
    Well, no.

    I'm talking about a situation in which a person knows for certain that, for example, the groom is not and will not remain faithful to his bride.

    Or a situation in which you know for certain that a person is marrying only to get a passport, and plans to divorce as soon as the passport is obtained.
    Re: the unfaithful thing...it would depend on the circumstance. Just cos someone's been unfaithful in the past you can't know for sure they'll do it again (unless you have a time machine that is...). If you know about their past, you should keep it quiet...assuming they (appeared to) have changed etc If they are still the same then I think yes you should tell the relevant individuals...

    Re: passports thats a much better example thats applicable in real life. Cos it does actually happen (as opposed to the time machine example... :p)

    The best you could do in that situation is to tell the bride and her parents (the bride by this time will probably be so infatuated that she'll ignore you...parents can sometimes (rarely :p) be more rational). Don't expect them to take heed unless you have some good evidence though...which is unlikely.

    You also have to consider the potential for abuse of this...if someone's jealous of someone else marrying the love of their life they could easily just make up some rubbish about their fidelity or their true intentions...

    -Rashid

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  • PiElle2
    replied
    Re: How Far Can a Muslim Go to Stop a Bad Marriage?

    Originally posted by Cashew View Post
    The reason I ask this is because a number of bad marriages have been discussed in this forum.

    A number of these bad marriages were bad marriages for obvious practical reasons.

    These bad marriages could possibly have been prevented had someone come forward and presented the bride or groom with the damaging information.

    I was wondering whether a Muslim, in posession of unquestionable evidence, had a religious obligation to prevent a bad marriage from happening.
    HUH? How does one know it's a bad marriage until the couple is married...?

    I feel we have to give a person chance to repent. If not, then it's our lesson to learn from our own mistakes.
    Last edited by PiElle2; 02-08-07, 09:02 AM.

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  • Abandoned-Mind
    replied
    Re: How Far Can a Muslim Go to Stop a Bad Marriage?

    Cashew - do you mean for example..

    "The guy your about to get married to having a relationship with so and so aswell at the moment"?

    Our bring up someones past? - bad idea, especially if the present is different.

    Leave a comment:


  • Cashew
    replied
    Re: How Far Can a Muslim Go to Stop a Bad Marriage?

    The reason I ask this is because a number of bad marriages have been discussed in this forum.

    A number of these bad marriages were bad marriages for obvious practical reasons.

    These bad marriages could possibly have been prevented had someone come forward and presented the bride or groom with the damaging information.

    I was wondering whether a Muslim, in posession of unquestionable evidence, had a religious obligation to prevent a bad marriage from happening.

    Leave a comment:


  • PiElle2
    replied
    Re: How Far Can a Muslim Go to Stop a Bad Marriage?

    Originally posted by Cashew View Post
    Well, no.

    I'm talking about a situation in which a person knows for certain that, for example, the groom is not and will not remain faithful to his bride.

    Or a situation in which you know for certain that a person is marrying only to get a passport, and plans to divorce as soon as the passport is obtained.
    If the person has told you personally, in confidential or whatever... then I think it's advisable to advise him not to do such a thing... ie. to hurt a person. If he doesn't wish to listen to you, tell him you are going to tell the bride because you do not wish the bride to be hurt. Then it's up to her to go along with it or pull out. You have done your job, but the decision is still in their hands.

    Leave a comment:


  • angel*
    replied
    Re: How Far Can a Muslim Go to Stop a Bad Marriage?

    Simple. If you know that *........* is marrying you just to get a passport or that *.....* is not going to remain, faithful, you dont marry them! How would knowingly go into such a marriage to begin with?



    Originally posted by Kal-El View Post
    Too much Eastenders for some people..
    :rotfl: :rotfl:

    Leave a comment:


  • Cashew
    replied
    Re: How Far Can a Muslim Go to Stop a Bad Marriage?

    Well, no.

    I'm talking about a situation in which a person knows for certain that, for example, the groom is not and will not remain faithful to his bride.

    Or a situation in which you know for certain that a person is marrying only to get a passport, and plans to divorce as soon as the passport is obtained.

    Leave a comment:


  • Chained_Water
    replied
    Re: How Far Can a Muslim Go to Stop a Bad Marriage?

    Originally posted by Kal-El View Post
    Too much Eastenders for some people..
    LOL :rotfl:

    Leave a comment:


  • .: Rashid :.
    replied
    Re: How Far Can a Muslim Go to Stop a Bad Marriage?

    Originally posted by Kal-El View Post
    Too much Eastenders for some people..
    lool thats exactly what popped into my head when I read his post :o

    But err I don't think they have Eastenders across the pond...wherever Cashew lives...

    -Rashid

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  • THE PATH 2
    replied
    Re: How Far Can a Muslim Go to Stop a Bad Marriage?

    Originally posted by THE PATH 2 View Post
    text,e mail,phone,talk, to the groom or bride or their families and friends:D

    why the ISSUE ?:zzz:
    oh..and before the cards are printed:)

    dates arranged,publicized etc

    Leave a comment:


  • Kal-El
    replied
    Re: How Far Can a Muslim Go to Stop a Bad Marriage?

    Too much Eastenders for some people..

    Leave a comment:

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