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  • afrasayab
    replied
    Re: advise please

    Originally posted by aisha2007 View Post
    Oh and there are sisters here too.....so you think your language is acceptable?
    Read my post not the language, and it is not like sisters don't hear this stuff. appologies if i have offended someone, but i have been through enough coz of my stupid culture.

    Leave a comment:


  • aisha2007
    replied
    Re: advise please

    Originally posted by afrasayab View Post
    Let me start by saying this, f***in pakis! Yes I am one of them too. So frickin pathatic are we, that I hear these stupid stories again and again. Dude, get out of there as some ppl here have suggusted. There is no black magic on her, and all those sheiks/crooks telling you that are BSing. Basically her grandpa died and ofcourse she was a emotional wrack and the stupid uncle asked her for her cousin, we pakis do these stupid things. She was pressured, blackmailed and didn't think straight and said yes. Now she is screwed coz she can't say no coz the dad gonna have a heart attack! Trust me I know how it works. She is not happy and she never will be.

    But there is nothing much you can do. She will prob marry him, to save her dad's life/face, and spend misrable couple of yr with the guy and then divorce.

    This is nothing new, and you are not alone, and don't ask "why me?", coz u won't get the answer, pick up youself, get up and walk away. Sounds harsh but thats the truth. Remember it is not ur move, it is her move and let her make it. I am ashamed at my culture, it is so pathatic and unislamic.

    Oh and there are sisters here too.....so you think your language is acceptable?

    Leave a comment:


  • aisha2007
    replied
    Re: advise please

    Asalaam Alaikum

    Akhi if this sister was meant to be your right now wife then Allah subhanawat'allah would have been giving you signs.
    What she is doing by leading you on then being nasty, telling you she is dreaming about you and your children in the park is all emotional blackmail.

    She is an engaged sister now. You MUST break all ties.
    The relationship you had with her origonally was haram....so don't be led any further down the path.

    Put things in a different sense....how would you feel if she was engaged to you and found out she was talking marriage and babies with another brother???

    Cut off all ties, change your mobile number, pray and you know what....there are thousands of single sisters out there who are looking for a good husband.

    Don't let shaytan play with you over this.....making you covet somthing you can't have.

    Leave a comment:


  • PiElle2
    replied
    Re: advise please

    It never works if you love something or someone too much in this world. The only love is for Allah and He will give you the best!

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Re: advise please

    As Salaamu Alaikum,
    Originally posted by afrasayab
    I am ashamed at my culture, it is so pathatic and unislamic.
    I agree with you brother, but in this world if you look closely you will find that most cultures are just like ours, it's just they have a different way of sugar coating it.

    Ma'aSalaama

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  • afrasayab
    replied
    Re: advise please

    Sorry no offense to anyone but i have been through enough hardship, although I am still waiting for my ease.

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  • afrasayab
    replied
    Re: advise please

    Let me start by saying this, f***in pakis! Yes I am one of them too. So frickin pathatic are we, that I hear these stupid stories again and again. Dude, get out of there as some ppl here have suggusted. There is no black magic on her, and all those sheiks/crooks telling you that are BSing. Basically her grandpa died and ofcourse she was a emotional wrack and the stupid uncle asked her for her cousin, we pakis do these stupid things. She was pressured, blackmailed and didn't think straight and said yes. Now she is screwed coz she can't say no coz the dad gonna have a heart attack! Trust me I know how it works. She is not happy and she never will be.

    But there is nothing much you can do. She will prob marry him, to save her dad's life/face, and spend misrable couple of yr with the guy and then divorce.

    This is nothing new, and you are not alone, and don't ask "why me?", coz u won't get the answer, pick up youself, get up and walk away. Sounds harsh but thats the truth. Remember it is not ur move, it is her move and let her make it. I am ashamed at my culture, it is so pathatic and unislamic.
    Last edited by afrasayab; 28-07-07, 07:50 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • FlyingNinja0
    replied
    Re: advise please

    Salams Brother,

    Forgive me if I say anything that hurts but i do speak with experience. My marriage of 20 years recently came to an end supposedly through Black Magic. My ex and I sought the help of so many "Holy men" who told us it was BM, the most useful thing was hearing that even if it is that, it doesnt control you totally. You arent like a puppet being managed by an external force. You still have a choice, it just places a seed. Dont let the Black Magic overtake you, it makes you feel as though you have no power to do anything.
    The best way to tackle it is by remaining steadfast in Allah SWTs commandments. Have faith, all power comes through the Creator. It may be family pressure that will sway her in the end.
    Be careful and weigh up the options, Love is a curious concept, and I know it hurts like mad. Even if it doesnt feel like it, if she isnt your destiny and your worse fears materialise, you wont always feel like this. After hardship always comes ease.

    Leave a comment:


  • blue rose
    replied
    Re: advise please

    i think u shud let it go... she wud hav told her parents wen u asked her to if she wanted to b with u, like muslimahonline sed that sayin... if u really want something u wud try 1000 ways to achieve it...

    Leave a comment:


  • shazad1210
    replied
    Re: advise please

    Originally posted by Peacenik View Post
    Brother Shazad, have you actually met this girl ?

    Face to face ?

    (or have your conversations just been over the phone ? )
    i have met her and also talk to her over the phone most of the day

    Leave a comment:


  • PiElle2
    replied
    Re: advise please

    Be patient... all is in the hands of Allah... what is meant to be yours will eventually be yours... it actually will come back to you....

    What you think its' good for you may be bad for you, what seems bad for you may be good for you...

    Allah knows best!

    I know one sister who seek help because her husband was acting irritated with her... she said it was the last resort before she decides a divorce...

    and her husband actually began treating her better after her seeking help... but it was not a full story, I am still not sure if the lifting of 'black magic' worked or because his mother told him to quit the fight with his wife...??!!

    Leave a comment:


  • muslimahonline
    replied
    Re: advise please

    Originally posted by shazad1210 View Post
    salaam brothers and sisters im new and my name is shazad


    i have a very big problem :(

    i got to know this girl last year in april. we started talking to eachother over the phone occasionally. we then somehow got closer and were talking to eachother everyday for atleast six hours about random things.

    we fell in love after about 3months and i proposed to her if she wants to marry me and she said yes.(this was without her parents knowing) we then gradually started get closer and closer and started talking about our wedding how we going to do it and aout kids and wat we going to name them etc.she asked me to tell my parents about it i told my mum but she wasnt really happy with it, so i left it so that she can absorb it and i also asked her to tell hers but she said she waitin for my mum to agree and if she is willing to come over to propose for me and her. then in dec her grandma passed away (RIP)
    and everything had changed. her uncle had asked her to marry her cousin after 15 mins of her grandma passing away and she said yes. then she went to pakistan with hergrandmas coffin and she got engaged there. she come back in jan and we started to talk again.she was all mean and everything.i was rally hurt and she was hurting me even more. i stoped talking to her until march on her bday and was talking to her like normal and she was also.she was keep on saying she wont be happy with him etc etc and i said do something about it now before its too late.she didnt do anything and we carried on talking and got even closer. after a couple of months she said do you think anything is done on me (black magic) i said ill find out.told one of the sisters at work and she found out for me that is was her fianace who has done black magic on her so that she likes him. itoldher and she got really angry and didnt believe me at all. i got itconfirmed my another sheikh and he also said the same.i said to her do something about it but she wasnt lisening at all. i also said call of the engagement if u not going to be happy with him and she said i cant cuz dads going to get hurt. now i dont know wat to do. every time i try to go away fromher theres something which is dragging me back to her.can any one help please of how i can get her back and can any give me some phone numbers or addresses of people who remove these black magic via PM please.really stressed out about all this. she promised so many including marrying me. dont know what to do anymore. please help me please.

    really appreciate it
    Salam,

    Just an opinion from a mother's point of view. Hopefully nobody gets offended.

    1. Nobody can tell you how you feel about her, it is real and you feel it in your chest, love is not only valid for older people it is valid for teens too. Sometimes you will feel like nobody understands how you really feel, the confusion, the frustration, the ache in your chest..

    2. This girl of your dreams said yes after her grandmother died, the rational here is that because she was in a state of confusion, she was depressed, not herself etc thats why she said yes.

    3. You said you went to ask two people whether she has been 'sihir ed' (black magic) by anyone and both said its her fiancee. A. Nobody knows the ghaib, only ALLAH knows. Its better for you NOT to ask AT ALL to save yourself from believing in powers others than ALLAH's power. B. Sihir (black magic) does exist as it is in the Qur'an but it is better and safer for you if you just tawakal, leave it to ALLAH. Only ALLAH can allow black magic to happen to anybody and only ALLAH can cure it. ALLAH is our creator ALLAH knows what is best for all of us. Only ALLAH knows. C. These people and you have done fitnah (slander) on another muslim brother as you do not have proof and this is another big sin. Proof is if you see it with your own eyes with another brother that he goes to a place that does black magic and actually does it. SO, until you have proof you should not accuse him.

    4. The agreement from her part to accept the marriage in her emotional state and the black magic is just you in denial that she has rejected you. Its not that you are not good enough for her but maybe its just not meant to be.

    5. IF it is meant to be, it will happen. Believe it. Your partner has been chosen for you millions of years ago. Do not worry. Make lots of dua. Don't ask for her, ask that ALLAH give you her if she is good for your akhirah and if you are good for her akhirah and make it over for both of you if that is good for your and her akhirah.

    6. IF she really wants to be married to you, no matter how afraid she is, she would at least talk to her parents and tell them calmly and nicely how she really feels and say that she will not go againts their decision. There is a saying in Malay " Nak seribu daya, taknak seribu dalih" meaning, If you really want something, you will try 1,000 ways to achieve it, but if you don't want it, you will have 1,000 excuses..

    7. Also, she could actually be blaming you for not asking her parents when you could have and she is in the situation because of you. She also could be saying she wont be happy because she doesnt know her fiancee or because she just wants you to feel better... But my child, if you really loved her, you should advice her to cut your relationship off, make du'a for her, give her a chance to be happy, and ask her to give her fiancee a chance. All in the boundaries of Islam of course. It is not permissible for you to ask for her as when a woman has been asked for it is haram for another to ask for her. And you should cut the relaitionship for the sake of ALLAH. BE with someone for the sake of ALLAH and seperate for the sake of ALLAH. InshaALLAH your heart will be at peace and you will get rid of that pain in your chest..

    InshaALLAH

    ALLAH knows what is best for you dunia and akhirah...



    Wallahu'alam

    Leave a comment:


  • *IslamicGirl*
    replied
    Re: advise please

    :start:

    :salams

    Originally posted by shazad1210 View Post

    everything reminds me of her kasm.
    Kasm...Khasm! :) :p (geddit? )


    Trust me akhee you'll be fine :insha: take it easy don't treat it as a life and death situation- open your eyes and hart it's a big world out there more things to do than hanker over a girl you most likely won't get. Smile :) Life isn't that bland.


    :wswrwb:

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  • Peacenik
    replied
    Re: advise please

    Brother Shazad, have you actually met this girl ?

    Face to face ?

    (or have your conversations just been over the phone ? )

    Leave a comment:


  • Medievalist
    replied
    Re: advise please

    Originally posted by shazad1210 View Post
    thanx bother i will try that.inshallah somehow it will work out for us. thanx for all your support.

    everything reminds me of her kasm. whateva i do wer eva i go it all reminds me of her.

    i will try that.

    thanx
    bro you got it bad. May ALLAH have mercy on you - ameen

    Leave a comment:

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