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  • #16
    Re: advise please

    Originally posted by Saeed As-Salafi View Post
    Akhi ask yourself and be sincere when you ask yourself, what is it that you like about this girl? Or is it that you like the idea of her? These are very different things Akhi.
    i like everything about her.the way she is and her personality. i love her alot and my heart doesnt seemto givup on her yet

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    • #17
      Re: advise please

      Bro he aint gonna break off the engagement - guys from back home NEVER break off engagements to gyals from here, ever. EVEN if she told him that she's got a bf here and she doesnt wanna marry him - he wouldnt break it off - aint gonna happen.

      Bro - I can see where this is heading - a hell of a lot of heartache for you. From one brother to another - DONT put yourself in that situation that you have to cry over a gyal you loved who got married to another man. Forget her now - it'll be hard but BY ALLAH it'll be better for you in the long run. trust me. :)
      Rajab is a month of cultivation, Shaban is month of irrigating the fields, and the month of Ramadhan is a month of reaping and harvesting.”

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      • #18
        Re: advise please

        Originally posted by Medievalist View Post
        Bro he aint gonna break off the engagement - guys from back home NEVER break off engagements to gyals from here, ever. EVEN if she told him that she's got a bf here and she doesnt wanna marry him - he wouldnt break it off - aint gonna happen.

        Bro - I can see where this is heading - a hell of a lot of heartache for you. From one brother to another - DONT put yourself in that situation that you have to cry over a gyal you loved who got married to another man. Forget her now - it'll be hard but BY ALLAH it'll be better for you in the long run. trust me. :)
        the guy is not from back home.
        ive already cried so much for her more than when my gdad past away.
        i even cried when her grandma passed away and prayed for her evn though i dont know her gma in person.

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        • #19
          Re: advise please

          Originally posted by shazad1210 View Post
          i like everything about her.the way she is and her personality. i love her alot and my heart doesnt seemto givup on her yet
          I'm sorry, but how you describe her does not fit inline with what she is doing. You are trying to hold on to something that does not exist. Your love for her has taken over your better judgement. You need to take a break from her, so you can put your life back into its proper perspective.

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          • #20
            Re: advise please

            Originally posted by shazad1210 View Post
            the guy is not from back home.
            ive already cried so much for her more than when my gdad past away.
            i even cried when her grandma passed away and prayed for her evn though i dont know her gma in person.
            ok - the guys from here.

            bro - you crying for her and for her grandma's death is an indication of whats to come. Unless she breaks off her engagement there is no option for you - you stop contact now.
            Rajab is a month of cultivation, Shaban is month of irrigating the fields, and the month of Ramadhan is a month of reaping and harvesting.”

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            • #21
              Re: advise please

              The only way you'll forget this girl, because forgetting her is the only option for you at the moment, is to reaffirm your connection with Allah swt. Whatever level you are on with your Deen you need to increase it. The love of Allah swt, His messenger SAW and all things Islam is they only way you'll forget this girl and take her 'love' out of your heart. Believe me its the only way!

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              • #22
                Re: advise please

                Originally posted by Medievalist View Post
                ok - the guys from here.

                bro - you crying for her and for her grandma's death is an indication of whats to come. Unless she breaks off her engagement there is no option for you - you stop contact now.
                it hurt me alot when she had said alot to me when her grandma pasd away i tryed to be their alot for her but she wasnt taking my support.

                she always says she loves me alot which drags me back to her.

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                • #23
                  Re: advise please

                  Originally posted by libero View Post
                  The only way you'll forget this girl, because forgetting her is the only option for you at the moment, is to reaffirm your connection with Allah swt. Whatever level you are on with your Deen you need to increase it. The love of Allah swt, His messenger SAW and all things Islam is they only way you'll forget this girl and take her 'love' out of your heart. Believe me its the only way!
                  thanx bother i will try that.inshallah somehow it will work out for us. thanx for all your support.

                  everything reminds me of her kasm. whateva i do wer eva i go it all reminds me of her.

                  i will try that.

                  thanx

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                  • #24
                    Re: advise please

                    Originally posted by libero View Post
                    The only way you'll forget this girl, because forgetting her is the only option for you at the moment, is to reaffirm your connection with Allah swt. Whatever level you are on with your Deen you need to increase it. The love of Allah swt, His messenger SAW and all things Islam is they only way you'll forget this girl and take her 'love' out of your heart. Believe me its the only way!
                    I tottaly agree 100% :up: . . and i`m talking from personal experience, its the best thing to do. InshAllah just have faith and all will be alright.

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                    • #25
                      Re: advise please

                      Originally posted by shazad1210 View Post
                      thanx bother i will try that.inshallah somehow it will work out for us. thanx for all your support.

                      everything reminds me of her kasm. whateva i do wer eva i go it all reminds me of her.

                      i will try that.

                      thanx
                      bro you got it bad. May ALLAH have mercy on you - ameen
                      Rajab is a month of cultivation, Shaban is month of irrigating the fields, and the month of Ramadhan is a month of reaping and harvesting.”

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                      • #26
                        Re: advise please

                        Brother Shazad, have you actually met this girl ?

                        Face to face ?

                        (or have your conversations just been over the phone ? )
                        'Nor say of anything,"I shall be sure to do so and so tomorrow" without adding, " if Allah (SWT) Wills" (18:23-24)

                        QuranExplorer.com, where you can Listen to the Holy Recitation and Translation online in Arabic and English : http://www.quranexplorer.com/quran/ :)

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                        • #27
                          Re: advise please

                          :start:

                          :salams

                          Originally posted by shazad1210 View Post

                          everything reminds me of her kasm.
                          Kasm...Khasm! :) :p (geddit? )


                          Trust me akhee you'll be fine :insha: take it easy don't treat it as a life and death situation- open your eyes and hart it's a big world out there more things to do than hanker over a girl you most likely won't get. Smile :) Life isn't that bland.


                          :wswrwb:
                          Allah and His angels call down blessings on the Prophet . O you who believe! call down blessings on him and ask for complete peace and safety for him :inlove: (33:56)

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                          • #28
                            Re: advise please

                            Originally posted by shazad1210 View Post
                            salaam brothers and sisters im new and my name is shazad


                            i have a very big problem :(

                            i got to know this girl last year in april. we started talking to eachother over the phone occasionally. we then somehow got closer and were talking to eachother everyday for atleast six hours about random things.

                            we fell in love after about 3months and i proposed to her if she wants to marry me and she said yes.(this was without her parents knowing) we then gradually started get closer and closer and started talking about our wedding how we going to do it and aout kids and wat we going to name them etc.she asked me to tell my parents about it i told my mum but she wasnt really happy with it, so i left it so that she can absorb it and i also asked her to tell hers but she said she waitin for my mum to agree and if she is willing to come over to propose for me and her. then in dec her grandma passed away (RIP)
                            and everything had changed. her uncle had asked her to marry her cousin after 15 mins of her grandma passing away and she said yes. then she went to pakistan with hergrandmas coffin and she got engaged there. she come back in jan and we started to talk again.she was all mean and everything.i was rally hurt and she was hurting me even more. i stoped talking to her until march on her bday and was talking to her like normal and she was also.she was keep on saying she wont be happy with him etc etc and i said do something about it now before its too late.she didnt do anything and we carried on talking and got even closer. after a couple of months she said do you think anything is done on me (black magic) i said ill find out.told one of the sisters at work and she found out for me that is was her fianace who has done black magic on her so that she likes him. itoldher and she got really angry and didnt believe me at all. i got itconfirmed my another sheikh and he also said the same.i said to her do something about it but she wasnt lisening at all. i also said call of the engagement if u not going to be happy with him and she said i cant cuz dads going to get hurt. now i dont know wat to do. every time i try to go away fromher theres something which is dragging me back to her.can any one help please of how i can get her back and can any give me some phone numbers or addresses of people who remove these black magic via PM please.really stressed out about all this. she promised so many including marrying me. dont know what to do anymore. please help me please.

                            really appreciate it
                            Salam,

                            Just an opinion from a mother's point of view. Hopefully nobody gets offended.

                            1. Nobody can tell you how you feel about her, it is real and you feel it in your chest, love is not only valid for older people it is valid for teens too. Sometimes you will feel like nobody understands how you really feel, the confusion, the frustration, the ache in your chest..

                            2. This girl of your dreams said yes after her grandmother died, the rational here is that because she was in a state of confusion, she was depressed, not herself etc thats why she said yes.

                            3. You said you went to ask two people whether she has been 'sihir ed' (black magic) by anyone and both said its her fiancee. A. Nobody knows the ghaib, only ALLAH knows. Its better for you NOT to ask AT ALL to save yourself from believing in powers others than ALLAH's power. B. Sihir (black magic) does exist as it is in the Qur'an but it is better and safer for you if you just tawakal, leave it to ALLAH. Only ALLAH can allow black magic to happen to anybody and only ALLAH can cure it. ALLAH is our creator ALLAH knows what is best for all of us. Only ALLAH knows. C. These people and you have done fitnah (slander) on another muslim brother as you do not have proof and this is another big sin. Proof is if you see it with your own eyes with another brother that he goes to a place that does black magic and actually does it. SO, until you have proof you should not accuse him.

                            4. The agreement from her part to accept the marriage in her emotional state and the black magic is just you in denial that she has rejected you. Its not that you are not good enough for her but maybe its just not meant to be.

                            5. IF it is meant to be, it will happen. Believe it. Your partner has been chosen for you millions of years ago. Do not worry. Make lots of dua. Don't ask for her, ask that ALLAH give you her if she is good for your akhirah and if you are good for her akhirah and make it over for both of you if that is good for your and her akhirah.

                            6. IF she really wants to be married to you, no matter how afraid she is, she would at least talk to her parents and tell them calmly and nicely how she really feels and say that she will not go againts their decision. There is a saying in Malay " Nak seribu daya, taknak seribu dalih" meaning, If you really want something, you will try 1,000 ways to achieve it, but if you don't want it, you will have 1,000 excuses..

                            7. Also, she could actually be blaming you for not asking her parents when you could have and she is in the situation because of you. She also could be saying she wont be happy because she doesnt know her fiancee or because she just wants you to feel better... But my child, if you really loved her, you should advice her to cut your relationship off, make du'a for her, give her a chance to be happy, and ask her to give her fiancee a chance. All in the boundaries of Islam of course. It is not permissible for you to ask for her as when a woman has been asked for it is haram for another to ask for her. And you should cut the relaitionship for the sake of ALLAH. BE with someone for the sake of ALLAH and seperate for the sake of ALLAH. InshaALLAH your heart will be at peace and you will get rid of that pain in your chest..

                            InshaALLAH

                            ALLAH knows what is best for you dunia and akhirah...



                            Wallahu'alam

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Re: advise please

                              Be patient... all is in the hands of Allah... what is meant to be yours will eventually be yours... it actually will come back to you....

                              What you think its' good for you may be bad for you, what seems bad for you may be good for you...

                              Allah knows best!

                              I know one sister who seek help because her husband was acting irritated with her... she said it was the last resort before she decides a divorce...

                              and her husband actually began treating her better after her seeking help... but it was not a full story, I am still not sure if the lifting of 'black magic' worked or because his mother told him to quit the fight with his wife...??!!
                              "There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path." - Morpheus, The Matrix. :hidban:

                              "It would not be reasonable in me if I did not serve Him Who created me, and to Whom ye shall (all) be brought back." Surah 36:22. Ya Sin (Yusuf Ali Translation)

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                              • #30
                                Re: advise please

                                Originally posted by Peacenik View Post
                                Brother Shazad, have you actually met this girl ?

                                Face to face ?

                                (or have your conversations just been over the phone ? )
                                i have met her and also talk to her over the phone most of the day

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