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  • advise please

    salaam brothers and sisters im new and my name is shazad


    i have a very big problem :(

    i got to know this girl last year in april. we started talking to eachother over the phone occasionally. we then somehow got closer and were talking to eachother everyday for atleast six hours about random things.

    we fell in love after about 3months and i proposed to her if she wants to marry me and she said yes.(this was without her parents knowing) we then gradually started get closer and closer and started talking about our wedding how we going to do it and aout kids and wat we going to name them etc.she asked me to tell my parents about it i told my mum but she wasnt really happy with it, so i left it so that she can absorb it and i also asked her to tell hers but she said she waitin for my mum to agree and if she is willing to come over to propose for me and her. then in dec her grandma passed away (RIP)
    and everything had changed. her uncle had asked her to marry her cousin after 15 mins of her grandma passing away and she said yes. then she went to pakistan with hergrandmas coffin and she got engaged there. she come back in jan and we started to talk again.she was all mean and everything.i was rally hurt and she was hurting me even more. i stoped talking to her until march on her bday and was talking to her like normal and she was also.she was keep on saying she wont be happy with him etc etc and i said do something about it now before its too late.she didnt do anything and we carried on talking and got even closer. after a couple of months she said do you think anything is done on me (black magic) i said ill find out.told one of the sisters at work and she found out for me that is was her fianace who has done black magic on her so that she likes him. itoldher and she got really angry and didnt believe me at all. i got itconfirmed my another sheikh and he also said the same.i said to her do something about it but she wasnt lisening at all. i also said call of the engagement if u not going to be happy with him and she said i cant cuz dads going to get hurt. now i dont know wat to do. every time i try to go away fromher theres something which is dragging me back to her.can any one help please of how i can get her back and can any give me some phone numbers or addresses of people who remove these black magic via PM please.really stressed out about all this. she promised so many including marrying me. dont know what to do anymore. please help me please.

    really appreciate it
    Last edited by shazad1210; 21-07-07, 12:14 AM. Reason: via PM

  • #2
    Re: advise please

    :start:

    :wswrwb:


    Br Shazad buddy there are plenty more sisters out there who are available- let their marriage be. Uprooting her is only going to cause strife and rifts that are unnecessary.

    I'm not a cynic but hey if one doesn't work out another will- Allah has someone in store for each one of us- be firm and patient :insha: it'll work out.


    If not have a cup of warm milk and honey and a packet of cookies- this worksfor me when i get upset.

    Why do you love this girl so? If she came back would the novelty wear off because she rejected you is it a 'challenge'?

    I think cookies and milk with honey are so much better - :) cheer up all isn't bad :insha:
    What are your parnets opinions? And tha was naughty of you to keep it away from your parents.

    :insha: Allah will help you through :)


    :wswrwb:
    Allah and His angels call down blessings on the Prophet . O you who believe! call down blessings on him and ask for complete peace and safety for him :inlove: (33:56)

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: advise please

      Wa Alaikum Salaam,

      I'm telling you from experience, you need to get out of this situation as soon as you can. Your only going to get yourself hurt. It may hurt now, but trust me if you carry this on it will only get worse, and hurt a whole lot more. Leave and walk away from her, and Insha'Allah soon you will forget she ever existed.

      Remember your relationship with her is not even allowed in Islam to begin with.

      Ma'aSalaama

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: advise please



        May ALLAH Ta'ala have mercy on your heart and hers and may He Ta'ala guide you to that which is best. ameen
        Last edited by Medievalist; 21-07-07, 12:43 AM. Reason: incorrect advice
        Rajab is a month of cultivation, Shaban is month of irrigating the fields, and the month of Ramadhan is a month of reaping and harvesting.”

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: advise please

          Originally posted by *IslamicGirl* View Post
          :start:

          :wswrwb:


          Br Shazad buddy there are plenty more sisters out there who are available- let their marriage be. Uprooting her is only going to cause strife and rifts that are unnecessary.

          I'm not a cynic but hey if one doesn't work out another will- Allah has someone in store for each one of us- be firm and patient :insha: it'll work out.


          If not have a cup of warm milk and honey and a packet of cookies- this worksfor me when i get upset.

          Why do you love this girl so? If she came back would the novelty wear off because she rejected you is it a 'challenge'?

          I think cookies and milk with honey are so much better - :) cheer up all isn't bad :insha:
          What are your parnets opinions? And tha was naughty of you to keep it away from your parents.

          :insha: Allah will help you through :)


          :wswrwb:
          thanx sister.

          everytime itry walking away either she comes back or either i go back.
          it seems like we have a connection somewhere but e lines somewhere along the line she is confused thats what she is saying.she might get married in nov after ramadan.when she promised me she seemed so certian about everything.something is keep on ringing me back to her:(
          Last edited by shazad1210; 21-07-07, 12:39 AM.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: advise please

            Originally posted by Saeed As-Salafi View Post
            Wa Alaikum Salaam,

            I'm telling you from experience, you need to get out of this situation as soon as you can. Your only going to get yourself hurt. It may hurt now, but trust me if you carry this on it will only get worse, and hurt a whole lot more. Leave and walk away from her, and Insha'Allah soon you will forget she ever existed.

            Remember your relationship with her is not even allowed in Islam to begin with.

            Ma'aSalaama
            thanx
            everytime i try brother something gets me back in der again. what can i do about that?

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: advise please

              :start:


              Originally posted by shazad1210 View Post
              thanx brother.
              Originally posted by shazad1210 View Post



              :rofl1:Dude read my username again....


              now you see?

              :)


              :wswrwb:
              Allah and His angels call down blessings on the Prophet . O you who believe! call down blessings on him and ask for complete peace and safety for him :inlove: (33:56)

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: advise please

                :start:

                :salams

                Originally posted by shazad1210 View Post

                everytime itry walking away either she comes back or either i go back.
                it seems like we have a connection somewhere but e lines somewhere along the line she is confused thats what she is saying.she might get married in nov after ramadan.when she promised me she seemed so certian about everything.something is keep on ringing me back to her:(
                Akhee there isn't much of a connection- more like a faulty signal. :)

                If she isn't that sincere or that confused- won't it affect your marriage if you do get hiched?

                Read Istikaraa :insha: :)

                :wswrwb:
                Allah and His angels call down blessings on the Prophet . O you who believe! call down blessings on him and ask for complete peace and safety for him :inlove: (33:56)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: advise please

                  Originally posted by Medievalist View Post


                  May ALLAH Ta'ala have mercy on your heart and hers and may He Ta'ala guide you to that which is best. ameen

                  Seriously that post - ALLAH ALLAH - upset me. If she says she wants to marry you then there's only one thing you do. You speak to your parents and ask them to go and ask for her. Give your parents some time to get used to the idea, dont speak rudely or raise your voice with them if they are angry with you. Keep silent, maintain your respect for them at ALL times, but be firm that you want them to go and ask for her.

                  Tell me what happens after that.

                  2 scenarios.

                  1. Your parents ask for her and they reject it. You move on with your life. I know pretty much for certain that you aint gonna do that until she's married off - but my advice is move on now.

                  2. Your parents refuse to go and ask for her. Then you move on aswell.
                  Also - how old are you? how old is she? is there any religious reason your parents would be against the marriage? eg she wears miniskirt, or she's a hinduess, or she works in a pub?
                  thanx

                  she is already engaged. she might get marreid in nov she is saying se doesnt love him nor can be happy with him.
                  we both are 21 and no nothing is wrong with her. both of our families have backwards metality. my parens agreed to go over to hers bt she refused because her grandma passed away and thats understandable bt when she come back i asked her if we can and she said no im engaged. the black magic is working on her and want someone to remove it from her.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: advise please

                    Originally posted by *IslamicGirl* View Post
                    :start:





                    :rofl1:Dude read my username again....


                    now you see?

                    :)


                    :wswrwb:


                    sorri sis i jus realised now imean i luked at the username naow

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: advise please

                      Originally posted by shazad1210 View Post
                      thanx

                      she is already engaged. she might get marreid in nov she is saying se doesnt love him nor can be happy with him.
                      we both are 21 and no nothing is wrong with her. both of our families have backwards metality. my parens agreed to go over to hers bt she refused because her grandma passed away and thats understandable bt when she come back i asked her if we can and she said no im engaged. the black magic is working on her and want someone to remove it from her.
                      She's engaged?

                      Scratch my previous advise completely. That was incorrect. You have to cut off ALL contact with her. If she wants to marry you then you can only propose to her family when she has rejected that previous engagement. Tell her simply - you either break off that engagement or dont have anything to do with me cos I aint the type of lad to share my gyal. comprende?
                      Rajab is a month of cultivation, Shaban is month of irrigating the fields, and the month of Ramadhan is a month of reaping and harvesting.”

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: advise please

                        Originally posted by *IslamicGirl* View Post
                        :start:

                        :salams



                        Akhee there isn't much of a connection- more like a faulty signal. :)

                        If she isn't that sincere or that confused- won't it affect your marriage if you do get hiched?

                        Read Istikaraa :insha: :)

                        :wswrwb:


                        i dont know what it is then if there is no connection

                        i did do istikhara and that come out good 4me.

                        she ssaid to me a few times that she gets dreams aboutme and her at a park with a kid and it seemed tobe ours, or at home with my family etc etc. do they mean anything?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: advise please

                          Akhi ask yourself and be sincere when you ask yourself, what is it that you like about this girl? Or is it that you like the idea of her? These are very different things Akhi.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: advise please

                            Yours and her istikhaara are not reliable as you are already biased in one direction.

                            There is no point to istikhaarah in this present situation. Her engagement makes her off limits. If that situation changes and her engagement is broken - THEN is the time for istikhaarah.
                            Rajab is a month of cultivation, Shaban is month of irrigating the fields, and the month of Ramadhan is a month of reaping and harvesting.”

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: advise please

                              Originally posted by Medievalist View Post
                              She's engaged?

                              Scratch my previous advise completely. That was incorrect. You have to cut off ALL contact with her. If she wants to marry you then you can only propose to her family when she has rejected that previous engagement. Tell her simply - you either break off that engagement or dont have anything to do with me cos I aint the type of lad to share my gyal. comprende?


                              i gues your right.
                              she said she cant break of the engagement cuz she cant hurt her father and her father likes the guy alot.the only way to break of the engagement if her fiance breaks it of and then we defo will get marreid she said she is 100% sure about it after he breaks it off

                              Comment

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