Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Wali and Nikkah

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Wali and Nikkah

    My parents are divorced a long time ago and I am 33 years old female from Pakistan. My dad has not been active in my life.

    Recently I received a proposal from a work colleague whom I’ve known for some years. The man is from a different race/culture (African) but is muslim (revert). He came with his family to ask for my hand from my mum and brothers and separately visited and asked my dad too.

    Before he came with the proposal, I spoke with my brothers and dad and asked for their opinions and approval. They all approved and said they have no problem. In particular my dad said main thing is the man is a Muslim and of good deen. He prays, fasts, goes to mosque etc. The brothers met the man and said they liked him. Some time after, the man asked permission if it was okay to give me a ring. My dad agreed and the man handed me a ring in front of my dad and some other adults. My brothers even said to not delay getting the nikkah and do it ASAP. I got engaged. The wedding is planned for early next year.

    However, I have recently found out something else was on their mind. My dad told my family (not me directly but I could hear him) he never really approved and is going to find me someone else or my brothers can. The reason being the man is not Pakistani. My brothers are now claiming I did not ask for their approval. (Despite there being many witnesses that I did). Behind my back telling my mum I bought shame to the family and won’t attend my wedding. On the basis the man is not Pakistani and it doesn’t matter if islam permits interracial marriage.

    What can I do now?
    Last edited by Clj4477; 21-10-21, 08:57 AM.

  • #2
    Originally posted by Clj4477 View Post
    ...Why pretend and not share their true feelings from the start? Why allow the engagement and wedding planning and always pretend to me they are happy?

    What can I do now?
    Does anyone here know Clj4477's family and why did that?

    No?

    Sorry, Clj4477, we can't answer those questions.

    Comment


    • #3
      You could let your family know that you will contact an imam for advice.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Abu 'Abdullaah View Post

        Does anyone here know Clj4477's family and why did that?

        No?

        Sorry, Clj4477, we can't answer those questions.
        You are right, apologies I guess I meant it rhetorically. I’ll delete it.

        Comment


        • #5
          Get an imam to conduct your marriage, you don't have to put up with this crap.
          You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

          You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

          Comment


          • #6
            I think you should make istikhara and make lots of dua.

            If what you are saying is true it seems that their reasons are bogus however, you must consider what will happen to the relationship with your family and if you are strong enough to bear it along with a new marriage which is hectic itself before you go ahead.

            The family pressure may result in the marriage failing if you aren't strong enough to stand up for what is right respectfully.

            Comment

            Collapse

            Edit this module to specify a template to display.

            Working...
            X