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Wife has left me and met another man

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  • Wife has left me and met another man

    My Wife has been complaining about my lack of communication for several weeks. I work away a lot and we were due to live together as man and wife next year as I was applying for different jobs.
    mom a civil engineer and it is difficult for me to work in my wife’s current city.
    Anyway I admit I lost interest in my Wife. I just stopped wanting to talk to her, share my life with her. I saw other women more attractive. I only met my Wife for the wedding and shortly after I’ve never had sex with her so barely know her. She kept complaining and complains and then eventually just stopped complaining. I never answered her calls and eventually she stopped calling. I thought finally she was happy.
    she eventually sent me a video saying she is sorry to say this in a video it she knew I’d not pick up her call to discuss it and knew I’d not agree to meet her and it’s just to let me know she does not want to be with me anymore and she is leaving. She was very calm. It was clear she’d just had enough.
    I’ve watched the video and not replied. She hasn’t got in contact either.
    To be honest I don’t feel sad. The feelings have mostly gone.
    however personally I don’t want to divorce as I will be leaving my job soon and feel we could really be happy when we’re no longer apart from each other.
    My Wife thinks the Nikkah is invalid as we haven’t had sex but she is mistaken and this is a common misconception. So she thinks she is free to remarry and has not requested a divorce.
    I am not sure what to do.
    Can my silence to her leaving me be considered me divorcing her /agreeing to the divorce?
    If I message back saying I understand will that cause us to be divorced?
    She went out with a male friend today and has the pics on her Instagram and it does hurt a bit knowing my Wife is out there living the single life. I don’t know long term how that will eat away at me. I guess if we barely know each other I will be able to cope with it. But I’m not sure how I will cope when she re-marries.
    i don’t know what to do. If I divorce her it’s final as the marriage is unconsummated.
    I don’t know where to go from here.
    Last edited by Jahanzaob; 04-08-21, 09:59 PM.

  • #2
    It seems like you have neglected her big time. I think you should sincerely apologize to her and try to fix this mess. You created this mess.

    If things don't work, go for divorce.

    Comment


    • #3
      I don’t really want her. Yes I neglected her and I’ve done the wrong thing. We should never have got married.
      I replied to her and said if she wants to divorce me that’s her right and I accept her request for a divorce. I think that’s the matter settled.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Jahanzaob View Post
        I don’t really want her. Yes I neglected her and I’ve done the wrong thing. We should never have got married.
        I replied to her and said if she wants to divorce me that’s her right and I accept her request for a divorce. I think that’s the matter settled.
        Women can't divorce men in Islam.
        You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

        You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Linkdeutscher View Post

          Women can't divorce men in Islam.
          What are you looking for in this "marriage"? And what made you marry someone you didn't even know?

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Linkdeutscher View Post

            Women can't divorce men in Islam.
            Are you sure?

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Linkdeutscher View Post

              Women can't divorce men in Islam.
              Unless she is granted Talaq at-Tafweed, which most sisters don't know about nor demand at the time of marriage.

              Comment


              • #8
                Since you guys didn't even consummate the marriage, the marriage can be annulled, but she has to give the mahr back to you. Its not a "divorce".

                Why didn't you take her with you to the city you're working in? Why didn't you ever talk to her after? Why didn't you even consummate the marriage? It seems like from the start you didn't like her. Also seems like you dodged a bullet too, a woman who posts pics with non mahram men on her instagram is a red flag. Next time don't settle when finding a wife, work on your religion, and marry a pious woman.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Jahanzaob View Post
                  I don’t really want her. Yes I neglected her and I’ve done the wrong thing. We should never have got married.
                  I replied to her and said if she wants to divorce me that’s her right and I accept her request for a divorce. I think that’s the matter settled.
                  why you want to keep her from having what she wants if you dont really want her?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Muhammad Hasan View Post

                    Unless she is granted Talaq at-Tafweed, which most sisters don't know about nor demand at the time of marriage.
                    Can you elaborate on this?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by nudgetheputri1 View Post

                      Are you sure?
                      Women ask for 'khula'

                      ​​​​​
                      'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                      So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by nudgetheputri1 View Post

                        Can you elaborate on this?
                        It is advisable for it to be included in the nikah

                        ​​​​​

                        'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                        So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I don't know if this a troll thread or not.
                          Contact your nearest mosque and sort yourself out. Give the divorce.

                          How can you be in a position to be a husband when you don't know the basics of religion and marriage.

                          Pretend I'm your dad telling you this.

                          Take marriage seriously. Only consider it when you are capable to manage it in sha Allah.

                          Marriage is not for kids. Lower your gaze and learn about what marriage entails.


                          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                            I don't know if this a troll thread or not.
                            Contact your nearest mosque and sort yourself out. Give the divorce.

                            How can you be in a position to be a husband when you don't know the basics of religion and marriage.

                            Pretend I'm your dad telling you this.

                            Take marriage seriously. Only consider it when you are capable to manage it in sha Allah.

                            Marriage is not for kids. Lower your gaze and learn about what marriage entails.

                            Uncle yasin is right mashaAllah. Hehe..

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Flawed View Post

                              Uncle yasin is right mashaAllah. Hehe..
                              'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                              So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                              Comment

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