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To all the single bros and sis on uf

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  • #91
    Originally posted by nudgetheputri1 View Post

    Can be kinda tricky to navigate through if you live in non-muslim societies. It can feel awkward when you're a girl and have to declare that wali part.

    Not a lot of Muslims are aware of this, and I like to think the ones who are practicing wouldn't know this part but cover other aspects of the faith. So, one cannot assume their deen is not always on check because they don't understand this arrangement.

    Maybe the right ones would be ok and make it easier for you. They would take heed.
    ​​​​​
    Exactly,and very few ppl are willing to have wali/mahram involvement from the beginning.Or even some sort of third party involvement.And the thing is a woman can get attached more easily if someone else isn't involved too(espec if they are happy with the other person and envision a future with them),but at that point they're not your spouse so gotta be very careful in that regard.

    Yeah that's true,lots of people genuinely don't know this.Yeah but once you tell them you'd hope they looked into it and listened.I remember once there was a potential with a lot of potential,i mean there deen was on point and their character and i remember thinking they are way out of my league looks wise lool bt when i sent a pic they still wanted to talk.But then they wanted us to get to know each other on whatsapp(before involving parents)so that put me off massively.Like why not have a whatsapp gc instead with family members in,that way the two ppl aren't talking alone.

    But yeah was online a few years ago for a few weeks and not happening again anytime soon lol.May Allaah grant us religious awesome spouses that that will be the best for us in this world and the next.Aameen.

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    • #92
      Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
      I've kinda given up.

      I've tried all the common avenues (parents, friends, masajid, online). Nothing has really panned out.

      I've been on online sites for like 3 years now. They are nauseatingly horrible, and I have no desire to continue using them.

      Sorry, not the most positive post

      I think for sisters, parents will be the best way to find someone. If the parents aren't religious or don't care, then married friends who can ask their husbands to recommend someone.
      Yes. Give up. Despair. Fade in your strength and let it perish. And then... Be reborn with a new spirit.
      https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/lo...-qur-an-courseI am just a simple nomad.

      Ephemeral reader

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      • #93
        Originally posted by Kiro View Post

        Yes. Give up. Despair. Fade in your strength and let it perish. And then... Be reborn with a new spirit.
        Nice, sun. Nice.

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        • #94
          Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

          Nice, sun. Nice.
          He's a moon, my dear son.

          An ever-shining moon.
          You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

          You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

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          • #95
            Originally posted by Linkdeutscher View Post

            He's a moon, my dear son.

            An ever-shining moon.
            .

            Comment


            • #96
              May Allah swt make it easy for you guys.
              A advice I can give brothers is to be active in your local masjid and befriend the good people and teachers. And ask the same brothers and teachers you know for good sisters.
              No one who has learned Qurān and then forgotten it except due to a sin he has committed

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              • #97
                Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post

                I would say single people here should consider each other.
                I thought this forum doesn’t cater to that sort of thing..

                Comment


                • #98
                  Originally posted by Creamcake View Post

                  Exactly!Its not right and something a lot of people forget is that Islamically it's not permissible,to speak to multiple people at the same time aswell.So someone practising should know that and its just a matter of basic decency,tbh.People panic online i think and have the wrong mentality like 'i'm speaking to her but what if i've missed out someone else..what if there's someone better..'When they should speak via a wali/mahram and if compatible on religious and character grounds,and are okay with how the other looks,then meet and Istikhaarah too.

                  That's the thing i don't get,why can't they just be blunt about it.Like say if they're not interested,rather than telling you to speak to others.I once went online a few years ago but was put off so i wouldn't again.Btw what site/s have u tried?Because i've heard pure matrimony and i can't remember the other one but dawah man is involved in the setting up of it..those two are most likely to have more religious ppl on,from what ive heard.
                  I do agree with you, that I don’t feel it’s effective speaking to so many people at once. But what do you mean it’s not permissible islamically? There’s no proof that it’s not allowed to have two separate meetings for example. Or to be considering more than one person. Can you please show me, am intrigued to learn. Even so, there’s a way to do it respectfully. But you can’t be expecting people online to act with decency. It’s an unfortunate thing, all of a sudden people lose their manners. And because they cannot be seen, they think they can act however they want and not be accountable for it.

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                  • #99
                    Originally posted by Janna90 View Post

                    I thought this forum doesn’t cater to that sort of thing..
                    If you (general) are an adult and do things the right way, it matters not.

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Janna90 View Post

                      I do agree with you, that I don’t feel it’s effective speaking to so many people at once. But what do you mean it’s not permissible islamically? There’s no proof that it’s not allowed to have two separate meetings for example. Or to be considering more than one person. Can you please show me, am intrigued to learn. Even so, there’s a way to do it respectfully. But you can’t be expecting people online to act with decency. It’s an unfortunate thing, all of a sudden people lose their manners. And because they cannot be seen, they think they can act however they want and not be accountable for it.
                      There's proof from the hadiths that show this,that it should be one person that is considered at a time.Like islamically you can't be talking to and considering multiple people at once,which a lot of ppl overlook/dismiss.For me it makes sense too,Islamic rulings aren't related to our own sense/rationality,but i mean what man or woman with a normal amount of gheerah,would be okay in hearing that this potential spouse,is also speaking to a few others?Its so confusing too like comparing people and feeling doubtful,and is a sort of betrayal to the person.I know you're not married and may never be,but if you're happy then continue,if not then cut off and then consider the next etc. Yeah online many people are indecent.So many ppl speak to multiple ppl at once and i don't get it maybe even irl too,and i don't understand how the other person doesn't mind.Like if i found they were speaking to another sister that would be shocking and i'd cut them off.Idk would just make me sad and confused like they're not serious

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                      • The reason why marriage has become difficult is because we have left the natural way of life in which we used to be part of a tribe and community, in which we had genuine relationships with other people around us. The modern technological secular materialistic lifestyle has made us very individualistic and selfish humans. I go outside and all I see are zombies staring down at their smartphones completely disconnected with the natural environment around them. Socially engineered robots don't have the natural human capacity to do the natural things that our ancestors used to do in the past. We have become so dependent on the state, corporations and on their technology, that we have lost a lot of what made us human. As we have strayed away from the natural way of life Allah made for us,then we have lost a lot of blessings.
                        People spend most of their times glued to their TV screens, completely brainwashed by whatever garbage that is fed to them. These things don't happen by chance, they are all by design, the separation of religion from the state, the breakdown of the family unit and traditional values and gender roles, putting people into debt.
                        Smartphone apps push harmful cultures and values which corrupts people, especially the youth, sadly most people just don't think about things around them and the affects it has on them and on society.
                        The way things are I can't see most muslims ever getting married.
                        With female empowerment and women becoming financially independent, they no longer need a husband to provide for them and therefore a lot choose not to take on the responsibilities of marriage and instead just live a carefree fun lifestyle which western culture promotes, YOLO (you only live once), live life to the max.
                        It's very hard for muslims to stick to Islam when they are constantly surrounded by evil ,be it through their peers, the state and it's institutions, the technology which they are addicted to

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by Umm Uthmaan View Post
                          Are you searching actively or have you given up? Are you searching online?

                          What steps are you taking basically
                          i think muzmatch and salams app are really good to find somebody. also singlemuslim for ppl in uk and halfourdeen in america

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                          • Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post

                            I would say single people here should consider each other.
                            Now now

                            let’s not fill the youngsters here with wild ideas

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Faith reloaded 2 View Post

                              Now now

                              let’s not fill the youngsters here with wild ideas

                              Depends how young the youngsters are. People here sound great.

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by Linkdeutscher View Post

                                He's a moon, my dear son.

                                An ever-shining moon.
                                You are the sun, And I a shadow.
                                https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/lo...-qur-an-courseI am just a simple nomad.

                                Ephemeral reader

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