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To all the single bros and sis on uf

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  • To all the single bros and sis on uf

    Are you searching actively or have you given up? Are you searching online?

    What steps are you taking basically


  • #2
    I've kinda given up.

    I've tried all the common avenues (parents, friends, masajid, online). Nothing has really panned out.

    I've been on online sites for like 3 years now. They are nauseatingly horrible, and I have no desire to continue using them.

    Sorry, not the most positive post

    I think for sisters, parents will be the best way to find someone. If the parents aren't religious or don't care, then married friends who can ask their husbands to recommend someone.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Umm Uthmaan View Post
      Are you searching actively or have you given up? Are you searching online?
      What steps are you taking basically
      Yes I am searching currently for a wife offline only in shaa ALLAH and not online at all because I want to marry a muslimah woman who lives near by me in shaa ALLAH.

      My beloved parents are deceased, so therefore I am on my own, so when I go alone to the local Islamic center in the USA in shaa ALLAH I ask the muslim brothers in Islaam their that I know if they have any muslimaat women available for marriage in their families. They direct me to talk to the wali of what muslimaat women are available for me to marry in shaa ALLAH.

      Assalamu Alaykom Sister
      Last edited by ABDEL-ATHEEM; 27-11-20, 03:36 AM.
      ALLAH AL-ATHEEM created everything. Therefore ALLAH AL-ATHEEM created the earth and everything in the earth and created all of the heavens and everything in all of these heavens and created all of the hells and everything in all of these hells and created all of the universes and everything in all of these universes and created everything in between them.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
        I've kinda given up.

        I've tried all the common avenues (parents, friends, masajid, online). Nothing has really panned out.

        I've been on online sites for like 3 years now. They are nauseatingly horrible, and I have no desire to continue using them.

        Sorry, not the most positive post

        I think for sisters, parents will be the best way to find someone. If the parents aren't religious or don't care, then married friends who can ask their husbands to recommend someone.
        I haven't given up cos I haven't been doing much anyway. I've tried online for a few months and it is just not for me. It's just a bunch of random ppl.

        Here is the thing, I live in a small city so everyone kinda knows everyone and there is no one here, as far as I know. Maybe in the other cities, but I don't know that many people.

        I feel like I should be more active in my search, I just don't know what steps to take. Hence why I created the thread.

        Comment


        • #5
          Curious to know why you find them online sites "nauseatingly horrible"? (apart from some Muslims being non-practicing, or less practicing than what you're looking for. )

          I think for online sites, (I'm thinking Muzmatch) you can verify by talking to the girl's family or her social circle contacts as soon as you can, if they are serious enough as you are.

          I would let the guy do it if I was on the other end.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by ABDEL-ATHEEM View Post
            Yes I am searching currently for a wife offline only in shaa ALLAH and not online at all because I want to marry a muslimah woman who lives near by me in shaa ALLAH.

            My beloved parents are deceased, so therefore I am on my own, so when I go alone to the local Islamic center in the USA in shaa ALLAH I ask the muslim brothers in Islaam their that I know if they have any muslimaat women available for marriage in their families. They direct me to talk to the wali of what muslimaat women are available for me to marry in shaa ALLAH.

            Assalamu Alaykom Sister
            Allah yarhamuhum. Sounds good. I hope it works out for you.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Umm Uthmaan View Post

              Allah yarhamuhum. Sounds good. I hope it works out for you.
              in shaa ALLAH

              in shaa ALLAH I hope you succeed in getting married soon.
              Last edited by ABDEL-ATHEEM; 27-11-20, 04:31 AM.
              ALLAH AL-ATHEEM created everything. Therefore ALLAH AL-ATHEEM created the earth and everything in the earth and created all of the heavens and everything in all of these heavens and created all of the hells and everything in all of these hells and created all of the universes and everything in all of these universes and created everything in between them.

              Comment


              • #8
                Not actively searching.There's no real fully halaal ways for me to look.I love my family but its not really a thing that we get proposals,because amongst our relatives etc,everyone has found a spouse themselves so we are expected to do the same(whilst in a halal manner which is not really possible). I pray at home so i don't go to the masjid often plus i'd feel insincere going there for that purpose.I would like going just to pray if i had one closer that had a females section but its not too close.

                Regarding friends,most of my close friends are unmarried except one.And for them again their proposals would either be people that their family know&trust or people that my friends meet(but again they wouldnt talk to males etc&thats haraam).Also not everyone is on the same level of Islaam like what i want in a spouse is different from them.

                I tried online a few year/s ago, but it was messed up in my opinion and i wouldn't go back to that..

                I know ppl should actively search and duaa but theres no ways atm i can think of that are permissible and safe.I have full conviction though that if i am decreed to marry(Insha'Allah)that Allaah will bring the right person into my life at the right time.

                So for now im focusing on me,trying to be a better Muslim,a better person,a better daughter and sister Insha'Allah.A better friend.All of this is a lifelong journey and i am a long while off being close to where I want to be myself too,which is another thing.But i guess most of us feel similar.

                Also i would prefer to marry a scholar or student of knowledge Insha'Allah so that may make it harder,although i am not fussed about stuff that most others are.

                May Allaah all grant us spouses and offspring that are the coolness of our eyes,that will be leaders amongst the righteous.Aameen.

                Comment


                • #9
                  One thing i would advise to everyone is please don't feel negative or down,Allahs plan is SO much better than ours or what we can conceive.Keep making du'aa and if you are able to take steps that are halal..then do so. Use this time wisely to improve your faith,improve your character and relations with ppl.

                  And so many good times to make du'aa,after salaah,in sujood,in tahajjud,when its raining,when opening your fast,when you have tears in your eyes etc.Never give up.Be grateful and Allaah will give you more.Also a good du'aa is Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un, Allahumma ajirni fi musibati wa akhlif li khairan minha'. This du'aa was made by Umm Salamah after the death of her husband(may Allaah be pleased with them both)and she was granted Muhammad Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam, and du'aa of Musa Alayhissalaam Rabbi ‘inni limaa ‘anzalta ‘ilayya min khairin-faqeer. And he was granted so much,with Allaahs will

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Umm Uthmaan View Post

                    I haven't given up cos I haven't been doing much anyway. I've tried online for a few months and it is just not for me. It's just a bunch of random ppl.

                    Here is the thing, I live in a small city so everyone kinda knows everyone and there is no one here, as far as I know. Maybe in the other cities, but I don't know that many people.

                    I feel like I should be more active in my search, I just don't know what steps to take. Hence why I created the thread.
                    Yeah, you just have to be more active, basically.

                    I would start by mentioning it to your parents. And then to close friends. Having connections is really important.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by nudgetheputri1 View Post
                      Curious to know why you find them online sites "nauseatingly horrible"? (apart from some Muslims being non-practicing, or less practicing than what you're looking for. )

                      I think for online sites, (I'm thinking Muzmatch) you can verify by talking to the girl's family or her social circle contacts as soon as you can, if they are serious enough as you are.

                      I would let the guy do it if I was on the other end.
                      I could write a lot about it, but basically I either get ghosted, ignored, or have to compete with the 20 other guys the girl is messaging at the same time. No thanks, waste of my time.

                      And lol, Muzmatch is the worst offender in this.

                      And, yes, lots of non-practicing people too. As well as older women or women with kids.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

                        I could write a lot about it, but basically I either get ghosted, ignored, or have to compete with the 20 other guys the girl is messaging at the same time. No thanks, waste of my time.

                        And lol, Muzmatch is the worst offender in this.

                        And, yes, lots of non-practicing people too. As well as older women or women with kids.
                        I think you won't be ignored if the girl likes you enough.
                        ​​​​
                        What did the masajid community do when you went up to them?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by nudgetheputri1 View Post

                          I think you won't be ignored if the girl likes you enough.
                          ​​​​
                          What did the masajid community do when you went up to them?
                          As a community organization, masajid are pretty useless here in terms of helping out with marriage. I simply asked the imams here who I knew on a personal level, and they are keeping an eye out for me.

                          If man has a good reputation and is well-known with the aunties or older women of the local community, then they are even more effective than the imams. Common sense; women will know women. But brothers don't always realize that.

                          For sisters, it's probably effective to ask both the aunties and the imams. If your masjid has a dedicated matrimonial service, that could be a good option, although I heard those might not get you the most ideal candidates...

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

                            As a community organization, masajid are pretty useless here in terms of helping out with marriage. I simply asked the imams here who I knew on a personal level, and they are keeping an eye out for me.

                            If man has a good reputation and is well-known with the aunties or older women of the local community, then they are even more effective than the imams. Common sense; women will know women. But brothers don't always realize that.

                            For sisters, it's probably effective to ask both the aunties and the imams. If your masjid has a dedicated matrimonial service, that could be a good option, although I heard those might not get you the most ideal candidates...
                            Okay. Speaking of aunties it is also a good idea to ask your close friends' aunties to recommend you potentials too (aside from your own).

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I presume its much more difficult in US than in UK, due to massive States and isolated communities.

                              Here is a question to people here, are you willing to migrate.?

                              Also how feasible is it let's say someone in California marrying someone in Newyork, is it common.
                              ​​​​​​
                              Visit my channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYk...dE4pHzSid7Lr0w

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