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Unmarried mother as a result of rape. No parents want their Son to marry me

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  • #31
    Originally posted by TazkiyyatunNafs View Post
    ....... This is not the type of talk for a woman to engage in. Either you're trolling* or truly ignorant. I'm sorry, don't want to beat you when you're already down. But if this is real then it only shows that you really need to seek knowledge in every way and form for it will be a cure for most of what has been said on here and you're going through inshaaAllaah. The problem is not only being virgin, I don't belief that. We tend to attract what we're putting out and hayaa is from emaan. Feeling very uncomfortable reading these comments. Wa iyaadhubillaah. I regret my participation on this thread.

    ​*​There was another post by a female revert yesterday and I'm starting to wonder if someone is trying to give reverts a bad name on here.
    I’m not sure what the problem is. I know what he did was wrong but I stopped it immediately and he never did this again. Maybe I am nieve but as it was a one off incident I let it go. I am British so probably don’t judge as harshly with these things.
    He is a virgin and has had the opportunity with other women to commit haram acts but never did it.

    Comment


    • #32
      Originally posted by RevertSana View Post

      I’m not sure what the problem is. I know what he did was wrong but I stopped it immediately and he never did this again. Maybe I am nieve but as it was a one off incident I let it go. I am British so probably don’t judge as harshly with these things.
      He is a virgin and has had the opportunity with other women to commit haram acts but never did it.
      A chaste virgin muslim man would never ever show you his private parts to you before marriage. He is vile and probably lying to you about his past.

      Keep far away from him in shaa ALLAH and please do not be desperate to be married in shaa ALLAH.

      He should be arrested for his lewd obscence conduct with you in shaa ALLAH.
      Last edited by ABDEL-ATHEEM; 24-11-20, 11:51 AM.
      ALLAH AL-ATHEEM created everything. Therefore ALLAH AL-ATHEEM created the earth and everything in the earth and created all of the heavens and everything in all of these heavens and created all of the hells and everything in all of these hells and created all of the universes and everything in all of these universes and created everything in between them.

      Comment


      • #33
        Originally posted by ABDEL-ATHEEM View Post

        A chaste virgin muslim man would never ever show you his private parts to you before marriage. He is vile and probably lying to you about his past.

        Keep far away from him in shaa ALLAH and please do not be desperate to be married in shaa ALLAH.

        He should be arrested for his lewd obscence conduct with you in shaa ALLAH.
        This does make sense. Once men move to the U.K. they change though. It’s sad.

        Comment


        • #34
          Originally posted by RevertSana View Post

          This does make sense. Once men move to the U.K. they change though. It’s sad.
          You should marry a chaste muslim man who was born and raised in the UK in shaa ALLAH because he will better understand you.
          Last edited by ABDEL-ATHEEM; 24-11-20, 12:04 PM.
          ALLAH AL-ATHEEM created everything. Therefore ALLAH AL-ATHEEM created the earth and everything in the earth and created all of the heavens and everything in all of these heavens and created all of the hells and everything in all of these hells and created all of the universes and everything in all of these universes and created everything in between them.

          Comment


          • #35
            Originally posted by TazkiyyatunNafs View Post
            ....... This is not the type of talk for a woman to engage in. Either you're trolling* or truly ignorant. I'm sorry, don't want to beat you when you're already down. But if this is real then it only shows that you really need to seek knowledge in every way and form for it will be a cure for most of what has been said on here and you're going through inshaaAllaah. The problem is not only being virgin, I don't belief that. We tend to attract what we're putting out and hayaa is from emaan. Feeling very uncomfortable reading these comments. Wa iyaadhubillaah. I regret my participation on this thread.

            ​*​There was another post by a female revert yesterday and I'm starting to wonder if someone is trying to give reverts a bad name on here.
            Asalaam alaikum

            This person has posted before under several different names. Same scenario.

            I was not going to post but seeing as you are a new member you might not be aware that someone posts this same situation every so often with various user names.

            https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/fa...riage-ceremony

            https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/fa...rested-anymore

            https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/fa...it-to-marriage
            Last edited by Mintchocchip; 24-11-20, 12:22 PM.

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            • #36
              Originally posted by RevertSana View Post

              I was shocked as there was nothing to suggest he was like that. I made it clear I do not engage in these things. He apologised and said it was an involuntary response he has when talking to me. After this incident he said we would not video chat again as it has this affect on him and after that we spoke only on the phone.
              we had met up once and he chose not to meet up again for this reason as he said it causes him impure thoughts so I do think he is a righteous man.
              This is wrong what he did. If he is not your husband than video chatting is haram anyway. You say he is Virgin, so maybe he is regretful of what he did?

              ​​​​​

              Comment


              • #37
                Originally posted by Mintchocchip View Post

                Asalaam alaikum

                This person has posted before under several different names. Same scenario.

                I was not going to post but seeing as you are a new member you might not be aware that someone posts this same situation every so often with various user names.
                This is such a common situation. It’s really not unusual sadly and it’s an issue many reverts face. Login to any revert group and you will see hundreds of the same issue. Just because a similar situation has been mentioned before doesn’t mean it’s the same person. I have only spoken to this man a few times so definitely wasn’t me in previous posts.

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by abdurrahman View Post
                  This is wrong what he did. If he is not your husband than video chatting is haram anyway. You say he is Virgin, so maybe he is regretful of what he did?

                  ​​​​​
                  Yes he is. He apologised and did not do it again. I suspect he has some sexual experience though as he was too confident to have been a virgin entirely. By that I mean maybe in the past he has done sexual acts but not full intercourse. He has told me though that he is a virgin.
                  If he wanted To try to use me for sex he would not have ended contact by saying his parents don’t approve of me. He could have delayed telling them and carried on trying to video chat or call. Overall I think he is a good man with good intentions.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by RevertSana View Post

                    Yes he is. He apologised and did not do it again. I suspect he has some sexual experience though as he was too confident to have been a virgin entirely. By that I mean maybe in the past he has done sexual acts but not full intercourse. He has told me though that he is a virgin.
                    If he wanted To try to use me for sex he would not have ended contact by saying his parents don’t approve of me. He could have delayed telling them and carried on trying to video chat or call. Overall I think he is a good man with good intentions.
                    Your desperate because of the awful thing that happened to, you can marry way better than him in shaa ALLAH.
                    Last edited by ABDEL-ATHEEM; 24-11-20, 12:25 PM.
                    ALLAH AL-ATHEEM created everything. Therefore ALLAH AL-ATHEEM created the earth and everything in the earth and created all of the heavens and everything in all of these heavens and created all of the hells and everything in all of these hells and created all of the universes and everything in all of these universes and created everything in between them.

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Originally posted by RevertSana View Post

                      This is such a common situation. It’s really not unusual sadly and it’s an issue many reverts face. Login to any revert group and you will see hundreds of the same issue. Just because a similar situation has been mentioned before doesn’t mean it’s the same person. I have only spoken to this man a few times so definitely wasn’t me in previous posts.
                      Ok.

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Originally posted by Mintchocchip View Post

                        Asalaam alaikum

                        This person has posted before under several different names. Same scenario.

                        I was not going to post but seeing as you are a new member you might not be aware that someone posts this same situation every so often with various user names.

                        https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/fa...riage-ceremony

                        https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/fa...rested-anymore

                        https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/fa...it-to-marriage
                        وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته يا أختي
                        Baarak Allaahu feeki.. waAllaahul musta3aan.

                        For general clarification: I wasn't commenting on what has transpired between the brother and sister, rather I was commenting on her willingness to tell us about it with the wordings she used. I honestly can't belief a Muslima with hayaa would talk this way.

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Originally posted by TazkiyyatunNafs View Post

                          وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته يا أختي
                          Baarak Allaahu feeki.. waAllaahul musta3aan.

                          For general clarification: I wasn't commenting on what has transpired between the brother and sister, rather I was commenting on her willingness to tell us about it with the wordings she used. I honestly can't belief a Muslima with hayaa would talk this way.
                          وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته يا أختي
                          Your right but she is a revert muslima who has no male mahraam and her wali is not much of a help and she needs to complain to somebody about her problems, she needs to vent out her problems in order to get advice and help in shaa ALLAH. Yes she can have hayaa and talk about the vile sexual harassment she has faced.
                          Last edited by ABDEL-ATHEEM; 24-11-20, 01:25 PM.
                          ALLAH AL-ATHEEM created everything. Therefore ALLAH AL-ATHEEM created the earth and everything in the earth and created all of the heavens and everything in all of these heavens and created all of the hells and everything in all of these hells and created all of the universes and everything in all of these universes and created everything in between them.

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by RevertSana View Post

                            Yes he is. He apologised and did not do it again. I suspect he has some sexual experience though as he was too confident to have been a virgin entirely. By that I mean maybe in the past he has done sexual acts but not full intercourse. He has told me though that he is a virgin.
                            If he wanted To try to use me for sex he would not have ended contact by saying his parents don’t approve of me. He could have delayed telling them and carried on trying to video chat or call. Overall I think he is a good man with good intentions.
                            But why would he lie about such a matter? Maybe he truly is a Virgin, but he is just addicted to pornography?
                            ​​​​​​

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              Salam sis.

                              I think you should pursue someone in the same boat as you inshaAllah. Someone who has children and gets it kinda thing. You'll be better off that way.

                              Are you interested in poly marriages? Maybe consider getting into a poly marriage?

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Originally posted by RevertSana View Post

                                This does make sense. Once men move to the U.K. they change though. It’s sad.
                                They're like that everywhere sis. There's good and bad people everywhere.

                                Comment

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