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Parents won’t agree to him marrying convert

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  • Hamza1416
    replied
    Originally posted by RevertSana View Post

    This is true but Arab men won’t go against parents wishes. In my experience. As a revert I’ve had the same problems as the original poster. Beware though. Some men pretend to have ‘spoken to the parents’ and claim the parents don’t approve when in fact they e never spoken to them and it’s a way to stop contact after using you for some female company without them looking bad. Only picked up on this tactic after I experience this scenario a few times.
    that the problem of those individuals then however this issue dosent happen if the proposal is done with a islamic way where the man contact your guardian and tell him that he want to marry you then you arrange a meeting with the presence of your guardian and you disscuss matters related to marriage

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  • RevertSana
    replied
    Originally posted by Hamza1416 View Post
    salam alaykum wa rahmat allah
    the man dosent require the approval of hes parents for marriage in islam only the women need the aproval of her guardian
    This is true but Arab men won’t go against parents wishes. In my experience. As a revert I’ve had the same problems as the original poster. Beware though. Some men pretend to have ‘spoken to the parents’ and claim the parents don’t approve when in fact they e never spoken to them and it’s a way to stop contact after using you for some female company without them looking bad. Only picked up on this tactic after I experience this scenario a few times.

    Leave a comment:


  • abdurrahman
    replied
    Originally posted by Zoea View Post
    Just some advice really.
    I have met a truly good man. He is very respectful, religious, genuine. As a revert I have met some awful men with haram intentions but he is nothing like this. We have talked about marriage and he is happy to proceed and said that before going further with practicalities he would need his parents approval and to avoid hurting either of us he will talk to them about me within the next few days.
    He said that His parents are not judgemental people but he feels they may not accept him marrying a British convert because they would prefer he married an Arab woman.
    However he is 34 and he feels that as he is older and they are very keen for him to get married they may accept me.
    i am feeling very down about this as he will not marry me against his parents wishes even though they have not met me and so can’t really reject me based on some simple facts about me.
    i am finding it difficult to accept what could be a good marriage can end just because his parents don’t want him to marry a white woman. This reasoning does not seem reasonable. I could completely understand if it was something such as the woman was atheist or living a haram lifestyle.
    as a revert will I ever be married if it’s so u likely parents will accept their son marrying a British woman?
    it makes me fear for the future.
    Assalamu alaikum sister

    If that guy loves you than he will not listen to what his parents say, and I am sure he loves you.

    Leave a comment:


  • Linkdeutscher
    replied
    Originally posted by Zoea View Post
    Just some advice really.
    I have met a truly good man. He is very respectful, religious, genuine. As a revert I have met some awful men with haram intentions but he is nothing like this. We have talked about marriage and he is happy to proceed and said that before going further with practicalities he would need his parents approval and to avoid hurting either of us he will talk to them about me within the next few days.
    He said that His parents are not judgemental people but he feels they may not accept him marrying a British convert because they would prefer he married an Arab woman.
    However he is 34 and he feels that as he is older and they are very keen for him to get married they may accept me.
    i am feeling very down about this as he will not marry me against his parents wishes even though they have not met me and so can’t really reject me based on some simple facts about me.
    i am finding it difficult to accept what could be a good marriage can end just because his parents don’t want him to marry a white woman. This reasoning does not seem reasonable. I could completely understand if it was something such as the woman was atheist or living a haram lifestyle.
    as a revert will I ever be married if it’s so u likely parents will accept their son marrying a British woman?
    it makes me fear for the future.
    If he doesn't marry you because 'his parents won't accept because of some retarded made up reason' and is already 34 to top it, then I'm not sure what kind of man he really is.

    Leave a comment:


  • Pearls of Jannah
    replied
    Like Hamza said, the man doesn’t need an approval but I wouldn’t go for it if the parents aren’t happy. I would want them to accept me.

    Leave a comment:


  • Hamza1416
    replied
    salam alaykum wa rahmat allah
    the man dosent require the approval of hes parents for marriage in islam only the women need the aproval of her guardian

    Leave a comment:


  • TazkiyyatunNafs
    replied
    السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

    Ukhti, I wouldn't stress it. Just make du3a and pray istikharah. If his parents won't accept then it wasn't meant to be. If he won't marry without his parent's permission then I find this something respectable about him, even though his parents might be wrong in their reasoning. Don't fear for the future because it's in the hands of Allaah. Try to have full reliance upon Him. Make sure to use this time seeking knowledge and making yourself firm upon His religion. Even though marrying is important in Islaam, I've noticed that many are desperate and hasty regarding this matter which in the end makes them end up with people they're not very compatible with.

    I've been in your shoes. His parents were not really liking him marrying a revert. When I heard the news he told me he still wanted to continue and that his parents will eventually get over it. I put a stop to that and said I won't marry someone who's parents are not happy with the marriage. I'm not white European and my culture is more similar to his. The first time they saw me they actually taught I was one of them, but they didn't want a revert and I didn't want to push myself on them. Long story short: I've seriously dodged a bullet right there. Alhamdulillaah. Allaah knows what's best for you ukhti. Sometimes we want and like something when in reality it's bad for us and vice versa. Just make a lot of du3a and have patience. And in the meantime try to put your focus on working on yourself inshaaAllaah.

    Leave a comment:


  • Zoea
    started a topic Parents won’t agree to him marrying convert

    Parents won’t agree to him marrying convert

    Just some advice really.
    I have met a truly good man. He is very respectful, religious, genuine. As a revert I have met some awful men with haram intentions but he is nothing like this. We have talked about marriage and he is happy to proceed and said that before going further with practicalities he would need his parents approval and to avoid hurting either of us he will talk to them about me within the next few days.
    He said that His parents are not judgemental people but he feels they may not accept him marrying a British convert because they would prefer he married an Arab woman.
    However he is 34 and he feels that as he is older and they are very keen for him to get married they may accept me.
    i am feeling very down about this as he will not marry me against his parents wishes even though they have not met me and so can’t really reject me based on some simple facts about me.
    i am finding it difficult to accept what could be a good marriage can end just because his parents don’t want him to marry a white woman. This reasoning does not seem reasonable. I could completely understand if it was something such as the woman was atheist or living a haram lifestyle.
    as a revert will I ever be married if it’s so u likely parents will accept their son marrying a British woman?
    it makes me fear for the future.

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