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  • Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

    I wouldn’t be surprised if it was that age gap that made her not take you seriously.

    Once upon a time I was interested in someone. She felt the same way until she found out she was a few months older than me. It’s amazing to me how quickly she lost interest after that.
    Maybe, but unlikely. She knew about the age gap from the start, and she did express how she was against it initially but later she got over it and thought it was silly. I think it was more so just the type of woman she was. Her older sister was similar, she was with her highschool bf for 7 or 8 years, she also moved here for her career and her bf followed her, when she started getting serious about marriage she realized that it was never going to go anywhere with him, so she dumped him and ended up marrying some other guy I think from Bangladesh just a few months later. I think this incident with her sister also influenced her to end it with us.

    But I've seen that this sort of thing isn't uncommon amongst the youth who are part of a Muslim culture, where they understand having a relationship is unacceptable in societies eyes, they understand zina is immoral, but they don't think the relationship itself is immoral, and they can't get married because of their culture for one reason or another, either their parents wouldn't approve of the other, their parents don't want them to marry until they're done schooling and have a job, they don't have enough money, etc., so they end up having fun like that in secret just without being intimate, they waste months to years of their lives, emotionally and psychologically impacting themselves, usually end up splitting up at the end. Like for me, she was the first and only kind of romantic relationship I've had, for her I was number X, she even expressed how she was embarrassed how many relationships she'd had, in fact at the time we initiated our relationship, she was technically still with another guy long distance in her country back home, which she didn't tell me until way after, she knew it wouldn't work out with that other guy but she kept him on a leash until she found someone better (i.e. me). I feel dirty even describing all this, may Allah(SWT) forgive me.

    Comment


    • Originally posted by Mufti Cheesecake View Post

      Maybe, but unlikely. She knew about the age gap from the start, and she did express how she was against it initially but later she got over it and thought it was silly. I think it was more so just the type of woman she was. Her older sister was similar, she was with her highschool bf for 7 or 8 years, she also moved here for her career and her bf followed her, when she started getting serious about marriage she realized that it was never going to go anywhere with him, so she dumped him and ended up marrying some other guy I think from Bangladesh just a few months later. I think this incident with her sister also influenced her to end it with us.

      But I've seen that this sort of thing isn't uncommon amongst the youth who are part of a Muslim culture, where they understand having a relationship is unacceptable in societies eyes, they understand zina is immoral, but they don't think the relationship itself is immoral, and they can't get married because of their culture for one reason or another, either their parents wouldn't approve of the other, their parents don't want them to marry until they're done schooling and have a job, they don't have enough money, etc., so they end up having fun like that in secret just without being intimate, they waste months to years of their lives, emotionally and psychologically impacting themselves, usually end up splitting up at the end. Like for me, she was the first and only kind of romantic relationship I've had, for her I was number X, she even expressed how she was embarrassed how many relationships she'd had, in fact at the time we initiated our relationship, she was technically still with another guy long distance in her country back home, which she didn't tell me until way after, she knew it wouldn't work out with that other guy but she kept him on a leash until she found someone better (i.e. me). I feel dirty even describing all this, may Allah(SWT) forgive me.
      She might have claimed that but felt differently.

      Whoa, son. I didn’t ask for your life story.

      (kidding)

      Comment




      • Originally posted by Mufti Cheesecake View Post

        Maybe, but unlikely. She knew about the age gap from the start, and she did express how she was against it initially but later she got over it and thought it was silly. I think it was more so just the type of woman she was. Her older sister was similar, she was with her highschool bf for 7 or 8 years, she also moved here for her career and her bf followed her, when she started getting serious about marriage she realized that it was never going to go anywhere with him, so she dumped him and ended up marrying some other guy I think from Bangladesh just a few months later. I think this incident with her sister also influenced her to end it with us.
        I apologize on behalf of the Bengalis for this.

        Comment


        • Originally posted by Mufti Cheesecake View Post

          Maybe, but unlikely. She knew about the age gap from the start, and she did express how she was against it initially but later she got over it and thought it was silly. I think it was more so just the type of woman she was. Her older sister was similar, she was with her highschool bf for 7 or 8 years, she also moved here for her career and her bf followed her, when she started getting serious about marriage she realized that it was never going to go anywhere with him, so she dumped him and ended up marrying some other guy I think from Bangladesh just a few months later. I think this incident with her sister also influenced her to end it with us.

          But I've seen that this sort of thing isn't uncommon amongst the youth who are part of a Muslim culture, where they understand having a relationship is unacceptable in societies eyes, they understand zina is immoral, but they don't think the relationship itself is immoral, and they can't get married because of their culture for one reason or another, either their parents wouldn't approve of the other, their parents don't want them to marry until they're done schooling and have a job, they don't have enough money, etc., so they end up having fun like that in secret just without being intimate, they waste months to years of their lives, emotionally and psychologically impacting themselves, usually end up splitting up at the end. Like for me, she was the first and only kind of romantic relationship I've had, for her I was number X, she even expressed how she was embarrassed how many relationships she'd had, in fact at the time we initiated our relationship, she was technically still with another guy long distance in her country back home, which she didn't tell me until way after, she knew it wouldn't work out with that other guy but she kept him on a leash until she found someone better (i.e. me). I feel dirty even describing all this, may Allah(SWT) forgive me.
          Seems some women back home are westernised, I knew it was bad but I guess every time you read about it, it's a huge disappointment.

          Glad you had a lucky escape, what she did with you is so trashy, a normal woman with self respect won't do that, they have more class.

          This is why I don't trust men from back home, the guys here don't want to marry me but suddenly anyone on a student visa falls in love with me without even needing to see my picture, disgusting!
          ​​​​ You need a good woman, not a user. We learn from our experiences.


          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

          Comment


          • Originally posted by notEVOLVED View Post



            I apologize on behalf of the Bengalis for this.


            I don't think so, her parents can start talking and lets hope she doesn't play other innocent people ​​​​​​
            Mufti cheesecake is bengali though
            'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

            So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

            Comment


            • Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

              I wouldn’t be surprised if it was that age gap that made her not take you seriously.

              Once upon a time I was interested in someone. She felt the same way until she found out she was a few months older than me. It’s amazing to me how quickly she lost interest after that.
              I can't believe that anyone would care about an age gap especially of a few months, thats just so weird.
              And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record�
              [al-An�aam 6:59]

              Comment


              • Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post



                I don't think so, her parents can start talking and lets hope she doesn't play other innocent people ​​​​​​
                Mufti cheesecake is bengali though
                Interesting.

                Why is this under "mixed race" marriages then?

                Comment


                • Originally posted by notEVOLVED View Post

                  Interesting.

                  Why is this under "mixed race" marriages then?
                  Please answer the following question

                  Does ANY thread on UF STAY on topic?



                  I guess it just led to it somehow
                  'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                  So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by notEVOLVED View Post



                    I apologize on behalf of the Bengalis for this.
                    You’re Bengali? I had no idea.



                    Comment


                    • half the forum is bengali

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by Faith reloaded 2 View Post
                        half the forum is bengali
                        That's incorrect

                        I think it's more accurate to say the forum consists of south Asians or british Asians than other groups
                        The only sylhetis here are me, ten toes, you, kiro, fakhri and Abu julaybeeb

                        The Bengalis are stoic, mufti, not evolved, samin, Muhammad from Canada

                        Hardly many, most stopped using the forum

                        There may be one or two more that don't make it obvious they're Bengalis but there are a bunch of Pakistanis, indians, somalis, Arabs on here too


                        ​​​​​​
                        'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                        So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by notEVOLVED View Post



                          I apologize on behalf of the Bengalis for this.
                          theyre probably not evolved yet loool

                          Comment


                          • yeah im sure there are more bengalis undercover

                            What about saif uddin and irep, you forgot them

                            Oh right nvm, i guess they come under the peeps who deserted the forum

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Faith reloaded 2 View Post
                              half the forum is bengali
                              get out of my country ya immigrantzzzzzzzzzzzzzz loool

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by Faith reloaded 2 View Post
                                yeah im sure there are more bengalis undercover

                                What about saif uddin and irep, you forgot them

                                Oh right nvm, i guess they come under the peeps who deserted the forum
                                Doubt it, even if there are, possibly very few
                                usually the Bengalis say hi on the Bangla thread and can't hide they're Bengalis


                                'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                                So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                                Comment

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