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  • nvm
    Last edited by DesertWarrior; 20-07-21, 11:44 PM.

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    • Desis are defo one of the best looking people. Even the media has a desi in their top ten good looking people in the "world" rank. So even the media/public agrees.
      Last edited by Flawed; 20-07-21, 11:36 PM.

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      • Originally posted by Flawed View Post
        Desis are defo one of the best looking people. Even the media has a desi in their top ten good looking people in the "world" rank. So even the media/public agrees.
        No.
        You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

        You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

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        • Originally posted by Flawed View Post
          Desis are defo one of the best looking people. Even the media has a desi in their top ten good looking people in the "world" rank. So even the media/public agrees.
          I wouldn't trust those rankings, most of the time they're made based on politics and to push a certain agenda. But ya theres a lot of people that find south asian people attractive, I've seen a few white dudes who have a fetish for south asian women. I met this one old English lady once when I used to volunteer in the hospital here in Canada, my co worker was south indian, and the lady kept going on about how beautiful she was.

          But I think the issue is more so with the men, Asian men in general are ranked as some of the most unattractive by women, and largely that has to do with their portrayal in media, but I also think part of it has to do with the culture too. Theres online communities that are dedicated to this issue, about Asian men (both east and south) struggling with their masculinity, and perceived attractiveness, but I also think these people obsess way too much about their race, and if they stopped caring and focused on themselves they'd be more attractive.

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          • Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

            I'm pretty sure what they complained about is their own women not looking to marry them and instead preferring whites or Arabs.

            I am not agreeing with that statement (although I've seen a few cases of this), just trying to clear up what seems to be a misunderstanding.
            I was saying women from all races and how they view south asian men

            generally they are the lowest and least common mix marriaged

            no point counting revert white muslim girls in this
            as they are coming from a background where they just entered Islam so for majority of them they would be happy to except any race as alot of the time they care purely about deen when they are new to Islam

            also if your living in a white majority country then ofc the majority of mixed marriages would include white people

            so to include white revet women marrying south asian men i think theres no point

            what im talking abiut is arabs, africans or caucus muslims marrying south asian men its very rare instead they would marry a white or black guy majority of the time due to culturual stigmas like wife beater, stays with family and eife in one house and lets mum abuse wife etc
            Last edited by Abu julaybeeb; 21-07-21, 05:37 AM.

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            • Originally posted by ten_toes View Post

              Who is giving you the impression that south asians are at the bottom? Why are sa hit with ugly stick as that other user believes when half of all white men look like Phil mitchell (uk ppl will know)? Who gave him the impression?
              Only brothers who have tried to go for mix marriages would know this

              not sisters nor was this an attack on south asian sisters

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              • I only know one indian family in real life ..they are our neighbors and they are such a lovely family Allahumma baarik. Their kids ( all grown now) are so well behaved and polite..I don't really see the mother outside of the house much..their dad is so kind and polite...always smiling and giving the salam to us ma sha Allah..We give each other food when it's ramadan.. Anyway this the picture I had about south asians from real life experience..but I've since learned a lot more from this forum..correct me if I'm wrong but is it not true that your culture can be very strict? Maybe this is the reason why there aren't a lot of mixed marriages with south asians?

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                • Originally posted by Mufti Cheesecake View Post

                  I wouldn't trust those rankings, most of the time they're made based on politics and to push a certain agenda. But ya theres a lot of people that find south asian people attractive, I've seen a few white dudes who have a fetish for south asian women. I met this one old English lady once when I used to volunteer in the hospital here in Canada, my co worker was south indian, and the lady kept going on about how beautiful she was.

                  But I think the issue is more so with the men, Asian men in general are ranked as some of the most unattractive by women, and largely that has to do with their portrayal in media, but I also think part of it has to do with the culture too. Theres online communities that are dedicated to this issue, about Asian men (both east and south) struggling with their masculinity, and perceived attractiveness, but I also think these people obsess way too much about their race, and if they stopped caring and focused on themselves they'd be more attractive.
                  That's true. I think that's a reason why people delay marriages as well. Desis don't think they're good enough because of these society standards placed on them either that or desis want a spouse who looks different to them so they can feel good about themselves.


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                  • Originally posted by Mufti Cheesecake View Post

                    Its not isolated to ethnicity, but more so encompasses the whole race. I used to notice sometimes south asian women in general, whether they were bengali, indian, pakistani, etc., would have condescending deprecating tones towards me, I used to think its just a thing in our south asian cultures, but after talking to other people I found out that it occurs in many other non white communities. I'm sure you know of like those brown dudes that just chase after white or arab girls, and like whenever theres a white revert sister she's sometimes preyed on by some Muslim men. I know in the black communities black women are pretty vocal complaining about how black men are the most likely to marry outside of their race, and the black men complain about how black women don't treat them well. This attitude I've experienced from some south asian women, is not something I've ever experienced with women of other races, and its not like I'm treating any of them differently or unkindly, I don't flirt with them or anything. This one bengali sister a while ago I was getting serious with for marrying, and looking back now I realize she wasn't treating me with respect, this one time I remember she started talking about how hot this guy in her class was (I think he was either white or latino, I don't rememeber), I was really young and naive back then.
                    Interesting. What did the Bengali potential do/say to you that made you realize looking back it was condescending?

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                    • Originally posted by nudgetheputri1 View Post
                      Interesting. What did the Bengali potential do/say to you that made you realize looking back it was condescending?
                      Btw this was before I was really religious, and had the idea of a lot of youth today that "dating" as long as you're not physically intimate was halal, though we didn't even go to the point of that dating phase. But like I mentioned she would talk about that guy in her class, she would also talk about this celeb crush she had on this bollywood actor. When I told her to knock it off, she tried to reassure me that she still likes me the most she said "oh no, I'm with you... because you're realistic", and right after that she realized what she said and went "oops", I was young and naive, I chalked it up to her misspeaking or something. There were other times where she would just ghost me for a while like more than a week, and just say she was busy when she came back. Looking back its pretty clear now that she would come to me when she needed something, but when I needed help she was never there. I can see now that she was just using me because she wanted attention and that emotional excitement, and it was like she had a barrier that kept us from getting more serious and committing to preparing for marriage. I think she eventually realized that this wasn't going to go anywhere, she said she had personal issues, and so we decided to end it (after she ghosted me for a month and then finally coming back to end it).

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                      • Originally posted by Mufti Cheesecake View Post

                        Btw this was before I was really religious, and had the idea of a lot of youth today that "dating" as long as you're not physically intimate was halal, though we didn't even go to the point of that dating phase. But like I mentioned she would talk about that guy in her class, she would also talk about this celeb crush she had on this bollywood actor. When I told her to knock it off, she tried to reassure me that she still likes me the most she said "oh no, I'm with you... because you're realistic", and right after that she realized what she said and went "oops", I was young and naive, I chalked it up to her misspeaking or something. There were other times where she would just ghost me for a while like more than a week, and just say she was busy when she came back. Looking back its pretty clear now that she would come to me when she needed something, but when I needed help she was never there. I can see now that she was just using me because she wanted attention and that emotional excitement, and it was like she had a barrier that kept us from getting more serious and committing to preparing for marriage. I think she eventually realized that this wasn't going to go anywhere, she said she had personal issues, and so we decided to end it (after she ghosted me for a month and then finally coming back to end it).
                        Were you in your teens? I think many girls get infatuated with their celebrity crushes and it is a phase that they go through and overcome with time. I can see what she meant by calling you "realistic" though.

                        When I asked you at first, I seriously thought you meant real potential spouses..but nvm

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                        • Originally posted by nudgetheputri1 View Post
                          Were you in your teens? I think many girls get infatuated with their celebrity crushes and it is a phase that they go through and overcome with time. I can see what she meant by calling you "realistic" though.

                          When I asked you at first, I seriously thought you meant real potential spouses..but nvm
                          No not really, I was 19 and she was 24, we were both in university (not the same one). We were talking to potentially get married, but it seemed like she just couldn't commit to actually going through with it and making things serious, I was serious and ready to tell my parents, but she didn't want me to yet. I think she was pretty mature for her age, she moved from her home country to here all by herself so that she could study, pursue a career, and start her own life (I'm not saying I'd recommend women do that).

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                          • Originally posted by Mufti Cheesecake View Post

                            No not really, I was 19 and she was 24, we were both in university (not the same one). We were talking to potentially get married, but it seemed like she just couldn't commit to actually going through with it and making things serious, I was serious and ready to tell my parents, but she didn't want me to yet. I think she was pretty mature for her age, she moved from her home country to here all by herself so that she could study, pursue a career, and start her own life (I'm not saying I'd recommend women do that).
                            Ok. Sounds like she wasn't as serious as you were.

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                            • Originally posted by Mufti Cheesecake View Post

                              No not really, I was 19 and she was 24, we were both in university (not the same one). We were talking to potentially get married, but it seemed like she just couldn't commit to actually going through with it and making things serious, I was serious and ready to tell my parents, but she didn't want me to yet. I think she was pretty mature for her age, she moved from her home country to here all by herself so that she could study, pursue a career, and start her own life (I'm not saying I'd recommend women do that).
                              I wouldn’t be surprised if it was that age gap that made her not take you seriously.

                              Once upon a time I was interested in someone. She felt the same way until she found out she was a few months older than me. It’s amazing to me how quickly she lost interest after that.

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                              • Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

                                I wouldn’t be surprised if it was that age gap that made her not take you seriously.

                                Once upon a time I was interested in someone. She felt the same way until she found out she was a few months older than me. It’s amazing to me how quickly she lost interest after that.
                                You dodged a real bullet there if all it takes is a few months age difference for her loyalty to drop.

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