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  • Originally posted by muslimahc View Post

    Lol..they don’t though.
    Please stop generalizing in shaa ALLAH

    The Prophet Mohammed sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was a virgin when he married a previously married widower named Khadijah umm mumineen..

    Yes I am virgin alhamdulillah wa ma shaa ALLAH and in shaa ALLAH I want to marry the most extremely devout chaste virgin muminah woman and the most extermely devout chaste divorced/widower muminah woman.

    Assalamu Alaykom
    Last edited by ABDEL-ATHEEM; 02-11-20, 03:27 PM.
    ALLAH AL-ATHEEM created everything. Therefore ALLAH AL-ATHEEM created the earth and everything in the earth and created all of the heavens and everything in all of these heavens and created all of the hells and everything in all of these hells and created all of the universes and everything in all of these universes and created everything in between them.

    Comment


    • Originally posted by muslimahc View Post

      Sometimes. They might go to the dad full time when they get older. Even if the mom has full custody, they will still visit their dad on the weekends. So he will expect the new wife to help him with childcare which is an inconvenience. Also, a portion of his income will go to his ex wife for child support. That will reduce the quality of life for his new wife and kids. However, as sister Layla said, if he’s very rich than those problems don’t affect you as much.
      Or if he’s very poor the problems would affect you as much. Being on benefits you pay a flat rate of £7 child maintenance or 0.00 if you’re unemployed

      so..:sisters, if you’re going to marry a divorced man make sure he’s megaaaaaaa rich (we talking big boy bucks out here btw) or make sure he is broke.

      lol
      https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

      Comment


      • Originally posted by Layla_ View Post

        Or if he’s very poor the problems would affect you as much. Being on benefits you pay a flat rate of £7 child maintenance or 0.00 if you’re unemployed

        so..:sisters, if you’re going to marry a divorced man make sure he’s megaaaaaaa rich (we talking big boy bucks out here btw) or make sure he is broke.

        lol
        Is that £7 per year?

        Comment


        • Interesting. From my own personal experience being married at 20, tbh I really struggled in the beginning. Even though I knew how to do all the basic stuff it was very different than being in my parents' house. I remember the day after my nikkah waking up and thinking 'I think I'm suppose to make breakfast for my husband' lol. I ended up making a peanut butter sandwich. Lool. It was so awkward and we laugh about it until this day. Everything was awkward.

          At 20 I didn't really have much to offer. No education, no career, no life experience, I didn't even know how to drive, how to take care of our first baby, etc. In my mid 30s and with children, I have a career, multiple degrees, a car, and a lot of relationship experience and life experience. So let's not assume that single moms have nothing and are all on benefits or whatnot. If I got divorced I think I would be a pretty good catch with some high standards and a lot to offer. I would know exactly how to treat a man so he feels like a king. Lol.

          So I can honestly see why a man/woman (single or not) would want a divorcee. My cousin married a divorcee man with children and let me tell you he is awesome husband because he has so much experience. He's been there and done that and knows how to make it work. She is struggling though and she is in her early 30s. You would think she would be better off than a 20 year old because she is older and therefore should know how things work at her age. Lol she calls me for the basic advice. Lool. And no she didn't have no option to marry him just because of her age. All types of single man were interested in her, but she refused them all. I even tried to convince her to move forward with a few single men I thought were good fit for her.

          So I agree, at the end of the day it is about preference.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by Layla_ View Post

            Or if he’s very poor the problems would affect you as much. Being on benefits you pay a flat rate of £7 child maintenance or 0.00 if you’re unemployed

            so..:sisters, if you’re going to marry a divorced man make sure he’s megaaaaaaa rich (we talking big boy bucks out here btw) or make sure he is broke.

            lol
            Umm. Lol.. you have a point, but broke men shouldn’t be getting married in the first place. They should look for a job before looking for a wife.
            Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Qur'an 2:152]
            Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."
            [Al Quran 13:28]
            ]

            Comment


            • Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post

              Is that £7 per year?
              Weekly. Not yearly Lool. What is a child going to do with £7 a year? Buy slime
              https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

              Comment


              • Originally posted by muslimahc View Post

                Umm. Lol.. you have a point, but broke men shouldn’t be getting married in the first place. They should look for a job before looking for a wife.
                I’m just playing with you sis lol.
                https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

                Comment


                • Originally posted by Layla_ View Post

                  Weekly. Not yearly Lool. What is a child going to do with £7 a year? Buy slime
                  700 penny sweets.

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by muslimahc View Post

                    Lol..they don’t though.
                    According to you. We all don't think the same. Plenty of virgin men have married divorced women for good reasons. My own male relatives don't like young virgin hijabi girls these days they said they look and act like non muslims. They prefer a good woman even if she is a divorcee.

                    So yes less jealousy will be nice from young virgin hijabi girls. :/


                    Last edited by Flawed; 02-11-20, 03:43 PM.

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by LaylaAb View Post
                      Interesting. From my own personal experience being married at 20, tbh I really struggled in the beginning. Even though I knew how to do all the basic stuff it was very different than being in my parents' house. I remember the day after my nikkah waking up and thinking 'I think I'm suppose to make breakfast for my husband' lol. I ended up making a peanut butter sandwich. Lool. It was so awkward and we laugh about it until this day. Everything was awkward.

                      At 20 I didn't really have much to offer. No education, no career, no life experience, I didn't even know how to drive, how to take care of our first baby, etc. In my mid 30s and with children, I have a career, multiple degrees, a car, and a lot of relationship experience and life experience. So let's not assume that single moms have nothing and are all on benefits or whatnot. If I got divorced I think I would be a pretty good catch with some high standards and a lot to offer. I would know exactly how to treat a man so he feels like a king. Lol.

                      So I can honestly see why a man/woman (single or not) would want a divorcee. My cousin married a divorcee man with children and let me tell you he is awesome husband because he has so much experience. He's been there and done that and knows how to make it work. She is struggling though and she is in her early 30s. You would think she would be better off than a 20 year old because she is older and therefore should know how things work at her age. Lol she calls me for the basic advice. Lool. And no she didn't have no option to marry him just because of her age. All types of single man were interested in her, but she refused them all. I even tried to convince her to move forward with a few single men I thought were good fit for her.

                      So I agree, at the end of the day it is about preference.
                      Exactly. I think people are generalising a bit too much now, when reality is different. I've seen all kind of marriages offline so anything is possible these days. Lol.

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by LaylaAb View Post
                        Interesting. From my own personal experience being married at 20, tbh I really struggled in the beginning. Even though I knew how to do all the basic stuff it was very different than being in my parents' house. I remember the day after my nikkah waking up and thinking 'I think I'm suppose to make breakfast for my husband' lol. I ended up making a peanut butter sandwich. Lool. It was so awkward and we laugh about it until this day. Everything was awkward.

                        At 20 I didn't really have much to offer. No education, no career, no life experience, I didn't even know how to drive, how to take care of our first baby, etc. In my mid 30s and with children, I have a career, multiple degrees, a car, and a lot of relationship experience and life experience. So let's not assume that single moms have nothing and are all on benefits or whatnot. If I got divorced I think I would be a pretty good catch with some high standards and a lot to offer. I would know exactly how to treat a man so he feels like a king. Lol.

                        So I can honestly see why a man/woman (single or not) would want a divorcee. My cousin married a divorcee man with children and let me tell you he is awesome husband because he has so much experience. He's been there and done that and knows how to make it work. She is struggling though and she is in her early 30s. You would think she would be better off than a 20 year old because she is older and therefore should know how things work at her age. Lol she calls me for the basic advice. Lool. And no she didn't have no option to marry him just because of her age. All types of single man were interested in her, but she refused them all. I even tried to convince her to move forward with a few single men I thought were good fit for her.

                        So I agree, at the end of the day it is about preference.
                        Perfect examples that highlight exactly what I'm saying

                        People act like in 10 years of marriage, career, looking after a home etc you've not grown or developed or learned new things and you knew it all the day you flew the nest from your parents. Everyone knows that isnot how it works.

                        Lol @ peanut butter sandwich.

                        The reality is you could have two men, both 28, never been married, both on 30k salaries, identical in every way.

                        One of them might prefer a 30 year old divorcee with all the perks you mentioned, and the other might want a 22 year old virgin still at home with parents.

                        Marriage is about both people figuring out what they want and what they offer and then finding someone with a compatabile list of needs and wants. It's down to the individual.

                        Dunno why this is complicated lol

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by LaylaAb View Post
                          Interesting. From my own personal experience being married at 20, tbh I really struggled in the beginning. Even though I knew how to do all the basic stuff it was very different than being in my parents' house. I remember the day after my nikkah waking up and thinking 'I think I'm suppose to make breakfast for my husband' lol. I ended up making a peanut butter sandwich. Lool. It was so awkward and we laugh about it until this day. Everything was awkward.

                          At 20 I didn't really have much to offer. No education, no career, no life experience, I didn't even know how to drive, how to take care of our first baby, etc. In my mid 30s and with children, I have a career, multiple degrees, a car, and a lot of relationship experience and life experience. So let's not assume that single moms have nothing and are all on benefits or whatnot. If I got divorced I think I would be a pretty good catch with some high standards and a lot to offer. I would know exactly how to treat a man so he feels like a king. Lol.

                          So I can honestly see why a man/woman (single or not) would want a divorcee. My cousin married a divorcee man with children and let me tell you he is awesome husband because he has so much experience. He's been there and done that and knows how to make it work. She is struggling though and she is in her early 30s. You would think she would be better off than a 20 year old because she is older and therefore should know how things work at her age. Lol she calls me for the basic advice. Lool. And no she didn't have no option to marry him just because of her age. All types of single man were interested in her, but she refused them all. I even tried to convince her to move forward with a few single men I thought were good fit for her.

                          So I agree, at the end of the day it is about preference.
                          I don’t think people should get married without being able to do basic things like driving and having a job. You are giving extreme comparisons to push a certain narrative that divorcees are better and more stable which is far from the truth. I know single virgin sisters in their 20’s with advanced degrees and good jobs. I’m in my 20’s with a masters, my own car and good paying job. My friends all have at least a bachelors with jobs and cars. Half of us are married so far. A lot of single moms tend to live off child support and government. They are usually not working these high end jobs as you are trying to portray.

                          It’s better to finish school before having kids. At 20, I was still completing college and not thinking of marriage. I learned to drive at 18. So by 20, I was already a skilled driver.

                          So you can’t take extreme circumstances and compare divorcees to young people who haven’t even finished college yet. Compare them to the single people in their mid 20’s and up who have finished their studies and are working. Divorcees come with baggage and complications.

                          Also, things like cooking and taking of a home are basic life skills. I don’t know why you are making those seem like such complicated things. Didn’t your mother teach you that? Didn’t you see how she catered to your dad? You don’t need a failed marriage to master those basic life skills.

                          The qualities I look for in a future spouse are not so rare that I couldn’t find them when only considering single never married men.
                          Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Qur'an 2:152]
                          Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."
                          [Al Quran 13:28]
                          ]

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by Flawed View Post

                            According to you. We all don't think the same. Plenty of virgin men have married divorced women for good reasons. My own male relatives don't like young virgin hijabi girls these days they said they look and act like non muslims. They prefer a good woman even if she is a divorcee.

                            So yes less jealousy will be nice from young virgin hijabi girls. :/

                            Ok, sure.
                            Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Qur'an 2:152]
                            Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."
                            [Al Quran 13:28]
                            ]

                            Comment


                            • Dawud_Britaani and LaylaAb
                              ikr. Well everyone starts off as a virgin so it's nothing that no one has. But its a whole different story if you have experienced a marriage and grown from it. I mean at the end of the day thats what marriages are about...to grow up. Relationships outside marriage are haraam because they don't bring any benefit whereas marriages bring a whole bunch of benefits in so many different ways.

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by ABDEL-ATHEEM View Post
                                Please stop generalizing in shaa ALLAH

                                The Prophet Mohammed sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was a virgin when he married a previously married widower named Khadijah umm mumineen..

                                Yes I am virgin alhamdulillah wa ma shaa ALLAH and in shaa ALLAH I want to marry the most extremely devout chaste virgin muminah woman and the most extermely devout chaste divorced/widower muminah woman.

                                Assalamu Alaykom
                                Omg. You killed it there brother, I bet she doesn't have an answer now, because the rasool was a virgin when he married khadijah who wasn't a virgin and she was like 40. And even you don't mind marrying a pious divorcee because you know its a good thing hardly a bad thing mashaAllah.

                                Funny how the sister said yes sure when the man she follows devoutly did exactly that 🤦‍♀️😂

                                Comment

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