Mixed Race Marriages!

[Layla_]

Assalamu alaykum

I am noticing a trend where some sisters will want to marry out of their culture so badly, that they will lower their standards for someone who is not their ethnicity. I know a few sisters that say that they will *only* marry a white revert & they are crying that they are not married at the age of 35.

I’ve heard of sisters who will get a proposal and then they will question their ethnicity and find out that he’s not Jamaican, for example, and then decide not to entertain the convo any more.

Theres nothing wrong with having preferences and we all have our own ideals of attraction but it does become a problem when the only thing you can see is the ethnicity and you overlook important things

So, why are some people so adamant to marry out of their culture? Is it due to wanting mixed race children? Is it due to self hate? Is it just exciting?

What are the main problems that can occur in mixed marriages?

This thread isn’t about people in mixed marriages per se, but about people who only want to marry out of their culture

[zi-zizou]

I would be surprised if the numbers were anything other than small. In the main people stick to their own which is a far bigger issue.

[Layla_]

I would be surprised if the numbers were anything other than small. In the main people stick to their own which is a far bigger issue.

People sticking to their own is an issue for sure but there is an increase in women especially wanting to marry out. Which is all good but it does become a problem If like I mentioned, they overlook important things just so that they can marry someone who is a different colour..

[Eorlingas]

Ha ha..this old chestnut.

A revert will most likely marry out of their race if the overwhelming majority of Muslims around them are of a different race.

As for a muslim holding out for someone of another race..who knows..or more importantly..who cares?

There are various societal and social factors at play that influence to a greater or lesser degree whom one finds attractive. The blonde haired and blue eyed beauty was often the ultimate goal..now more Latina etc influences have crept in. The thug ..ex gangsta if you will..is portrayed as a successful role model surrounded by women. Cool and "hip" many girls may aspire to have such a partner..it's upto the individual at the end of they and not really anyone else's beeswax.

Just to add the examples I've given are not at all to suggest these are the reasons why someone marries outside of their race. Race may not be a factor at all in why someone has a partner of a different race. To reiterate it is their business..for better or worse. and not for gossips to speculate on.

[Layla_]

Ha ha..this old chestnut.

A revert will most likely marry out of their race if the overwhelming majority of Muslims around them are of a different race.

As for a muslim holding out for someone of another race..who knows..or more importantly..who cares?

There are various societal and social factors at play that influence to a greater or lesser degree whom one finds attractive. The blonde haired and blue eyed beauty was often the ultimate goal..now more Latina etc influences have crept in. The thug ..ex gangsta if you will..is portrayed as a successful role model surrounded by women. Cool and "hip" many girls may aspire to have such a partner..it's upto the individual at the end of they and not really anyone else's beeswax.

Well actually people do care. If some people fetishise a woman based on her ethnicity and she gets interest for marriage but mainly it’s due to people fetishising her, then this can cause issues and same goes for the men. Nobody is saying don’t marry out of your culture but to hunt for men or women from a certain culture and then overlook all their weaknesses is a problem. If you find someone who is your preferred ethnicity and she or he ticks all the right boxes then khalaas

but I am on about women who marry men for example who have 10 kids from 10 different women, who is on the dole, who has bad manners and yet she will happily marry him simply because of her obsession with the culture. What drives someone to be so obsessed with marrying out of their culture that they will accept someone like this

[Eorlingas]

Well actually people do care. If some people fetishise a woman based on her ethnicity and she gets interest for marriage but mainly it’s due to people fetishising her, then this can cause issues and same goes for the men. Nobody is saying don’t marry out of your culture but to hunt for men or women from a certain culture and then overlook all their weaknesses is a problem. If you find someone who is your preferred ethnicity and she or he ticks all the right boxes then khalaas

but I am on about women who marry men for example who have 10 kids from 10 different women, who is on the dole, who has bad manners and yet she will happily marry him simply because of her obsession with the culture. What drives someone to be so obsessed with marrying out of their culture that they will accept someone like this

Ok I get you..I hope your e example is an extreme case and not common . Such a person clearly has issues and is most likely beyond help. As a grown adult, you can't exactly stop them marrying who they wish.

[Layla_]

Ok I get you..I hope your e example is an extreme case and not common . Such a person clearly has issues and is most likely beyond help. As a grown adult, you can't exactly stop them marrying who they wish.

Sadly, it’s not an isolated case. It’s happening a lot where women make bad judgments, bypass their wali and marry someone (from a different ethnicity) who has nothing to offer her & then she finds herself divorced a few weeks later. When you question her as to why she married such a man in the first place, it’s usually ‘he was a mixed race revert’ bla bla

[Flawed]

Reverts always want to marry a Pakistani. No idea why though.

[zi-zizou]

Well actually people do care. If some people fetishise a woman based on her ethnicity and she gets interest for marriage but mainly it’s due to people fetishising her, then this can cause issues and same goes for the men. Nobody is saying don’t marry out of your culture but to hunt for men or women from a certain culture and then overlook all their weaknesses is a problem. If you find someone who is your preferred ethnicity and she or he ticks all the right boxes then khalaas

but I am on about women who marry men for example who have 10 kids from 10 different women, who is on the dole, who has bad manners and yet she will happily marry him simply because of her obsession with the culture. What drives someone to be so obsessed with marrying out of their culture that they will accept someone like this

It's a mixture of ignorance, stupidity and a narrow mindset.

It's like those women that have this idea of wanting a traditional white wedding dress even though they are not exactly the right size to fit in one. But they had this dream from a small age that they now have a stubbornness which won't go away.

People make mistakes and then they learn from them. You have to remember some people come from a background where they don't know right from wrong.

[zi-zizou]

Reverts always want to marry a Pakistani. No idea why though.

Think that might be the other way round. Well for white reverts that is.

[Eorlingas]

Sadly, it’s not an isolated case. It’s happening a lot where women make bad judgments, bypass their wali and marry someone (from a different ethnicity) who has nothing to offer her & then she finds herself divorced a few weeks later. When you question her as to why she married such a man in the first place, it’s usually ‘he was a mixed race revert’ bla bla

Like I said in that case it may be societal influence. Lots of mixed race and black young sports and media personalities in the limelight are in mixed relationships. The women may be overly influenced by celebrity culture.

[Flawed]

Think that might be the other way round. Well for white reverts that is.

White reverts usually want to marry a Pakistani woman. How ma y times have we heard them get upset that they aren't allowed to marry a Pakistani because their wali won't allow it. All the time.

[zi-zizou]

Sadly, it’s not an isolated case. It’s happening a lot where women make bad judgments, bypass their wali and marry someone (from a different ethnicity) who has nothing to offer her & then she finds herself divorced a few weeks later. When you question her as to why she married such a man in the first place, it’s usually ‘he was a mixed race revert’ bla bla

I would say if they are bypassing wali and defying sound logic, then their upbringing should be questioned.

Anyway, Mr Dependable from her background will still be available even if she's 35+.

[Layla_]

Reverts always want to marry a Pakistani. No idea why though.

It’s that banging food init obvs!!!

[Layla_]

Reverts always want to marry a Pakistani. No idea why though.

A lot of reverts don’t have the family structure growing up and are often raised in single parent households. So marrying into a pakistan family for example appeals to them because of the unity they have, the big family they grow overnight etc. Plus eating nice homemade food helps too.

But after the novelty wears off, they must definitely find it very very difficult, because it can be very hard to adapt when you’ve lived your whole life a certain way and suddenly there’s all these expectations on you