Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Question about obeying husband

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Question about obeying husband

    assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullah.

    I am new to this forum; so I hope you forgive me if some of the questions I ask have been discussed before.

    My first question is about obeying your husband.

    What I have often heard is that in Islam, obeying husband is obligatory/wajib in all things, unless your husband tells to you do something that is haram.

    But I have also come across some fatwas that say obeying your husband is obligatory only in specific things, that is sex and going out of the house; and that obeying him in other areas is mustahabb, but not wajib.

    Which of these views do you think is correct; and why?

    I would particularly want to ask married sisters in the forum, how do you understand the requirement to obey your husband? Do you obey your husband in everything unless haram or only in specific things? How does this play out in real married life?

    JazakumuLlah khayran.
    Last edited by Sapienta; 29-06-20, 01:23 AM.

  • #2
    This discussion cannot take place before you post the rulings along with sources.

    Comment


    • #3
      Here is a fatwa in Arabic. It mentions four ways of understanding obedience.

      Comment


      • #4
        salam alaykum wa rahmat allah
        i would like to ask you first are those question you askinjg are out of curiosity or is there another reason behind them ?

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Hamza1416 View Post
          salam alaykum wa rahmat allah
          i would like to ask you first are those question you askinjg are out of curiosity or is there another reason behind them ?
          I ask to learn and understand. Why else?

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Sapienta View Post

            I ask to learn and understand. Why else?
            diffrent reasons for questions may need sometimes diffrent answers for the same question
            for example you could of read some misconception made by atheists so i need to clear those first before answering but since you are just asking out of curiosity we skip that part
            when it comes to obeying your husband it a natural thing because first and foremost you do it for the sake of allah subhanahu wa talaa and then you do it out of the love you have for your husband assuming you are married to a practising muslim that fear allah if you are not married i highly recommend you and any other sister reading this to only marry a practising muslim and one of the signs of a good muslim is maintaining all hes fard prayers on time in the masjid .back to our topic when you do things out of love they dont feel like a chore in the case of obeying your husband it a similar case with obeying parents when our parents tell us to do something we do it rightaway (assuming it dosent goes against islam teaching ofcourse )and we never feel bad or anything on the contrary we like when our parents count on us or need us for a specific task mainthing you should focus on is to mary a good muslim brother who fears allah so he will be kind with you and if you want a good example look at our prophet peace be upon him how he lived with hes wifes may allah be pleased with them

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Hamza1416 View Post
              when it comes to obeying your husband it a natural thing because first and foremost you do it for the sake of allah subhanahu wa talaa and then you do it out of the love you have for your husband assuming you are married to a practising muslim that fear allah
              I don't have any problem with obeying husband as a general guideline. My question is about the extent of it, and whether it is wajib in everything.

              If my parents ask me to do something, I'll do it straightaway (just because I love and respect them); but my parents also respect me and and allow me to make my own decisions; they don't order me around or micromanage my life.

              If my husband is sensible and respects me, I wouldn't mind obeying him. But what if a sister is stuck with a controlling husband who just wants to micromanage her life. Is it a sin if she doesn't comply with his every demand? and yes, we have to be careful who we marry, but you don't always know a person fully before marriage.

              Comment


              • #8
                Are these fatwas you've come across online in english? If so can you give the links?

                In practice I don't think husbands micromanage their wives to such an extent that he is spending all day deciding what she can and can't do. You obey your boss at work don't you? You obey various people society has put in authority over you don't you? So why the concern about obeying the person Allah has put in authority over you?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Eorlingas View Post
                  Are these fatwas you've come across online in english? If so can you give the links?

                  In practice I don't think husbands micromanage their wives to such an extent that he is spending all day deciding what she can and can't do. You obey your boss at work don't you? You obey various people society has put in authority over you don't you? So why the concern about obeying the person Allah has put in authority over you?
                  They're in Arabic. As I said above, I don't have any problem with obeying husband as a general guideline. My question/concern is about the extent. I'd obey my boss only in work-related matters, not in everything.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Sapienta View Post

                    I don't have any problem with obeying husband as a general guideline. My question is about the extent of it, and whether it is wajib in everything.

                    If my parents ask me to do something, I'll do it straightaway (just because I love and respect them); but my parents also respect me and and allow me to make my own decisions; they don't order me around or micromanage my life.

                    If my husband is sensible and respects me, I wouldn't mind obeying him. But what if a sister is stuck with a controlling husband who just wants to micromanage her life. Is it a sin if she doesn't comply with his every demand? and yes, we have to be careful who we marry, but you don't always know a person fully before marriage.
                    A good husband will not boss his wife around. He still has duties to his wife in return and bringing misery/unhappiness to her is not allowed. Only an egotistical power-hungry husband (who isn't much into the deen anyway if he is like that) will let the power go to his head and will try to turn his wife into his servant.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Hoblos View Post

                      A good husband will not boss his wife around. He still has duties to his wife in return and bringing misery/unhappiness to her is not allowed. Only an egotistical power-hungry husband (who isn't much into the deen anyway if he is like that) will let the power go to his head and will try to turn his wife into his servant.
                      I agree, but if a woman ends up with an egotistical husband, is she still required to obey everything he says?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Sapienta View Post

                        I agree, but if a woman ends up with an egotistical husband, is she still required to obey everything he says?
                        hmm I am not sure. But I certainly hope there will be loopholes for a scenario like that.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Sapienta View Post

                          They're in Arabic. As I said above, I don't have any problem with obeying husband as a general guideline. My question/concern is about the extent. I'd obey my boss only in work-related matters, not in everything.
                          Can you provide the names of who gave these fatwas and links to them?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Eorlingas View Post

                            Can you provide the names of who gave these fatwas and links to them?
                            This link, mentions both opinions:

                            https://www.islamweb.net/ar/fatwa/137716/

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              The general theme of mutual marriage should be compassion and care.

                              So when a good husband asks his wife to do something it wont be to run her down and a good wife will see it as her assisting her husband.

                              This compassionate team will not allow for a man to ask his wife to scrub the filthy loo etc.

                              On the flip side a good woman whose husband asks her to refrain from displaying herself and involving herself with people (family or not) who will bring ruin to her or the marriage than compassion will drive her to obey.

                              Its not a very difficult thing.


                              Its only our egoes that make man ask their woman to do things that belittle them and also the ego of woman that see any request as being controlled.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X