Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Where are the practising sisters?

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Where are the practising sisters?

    Not doing this for the sake of moaning, but where are the practicing sisters? I've been trying to get married for the last 5 years with no success. Most of the women I have contacted are either held back due to their retarded parents who won't allow their daughters to marry a 'black man' or simply put off by so called 'religious people.'

  • #2
    Brother you shouldn’t call people retarded it may offend some people.

    I get what your saying, it’s becoming an issue in our Muslim community. So many people looking for Marriage yet we can’t find anyone compatible. I honestly wish I knew the answer.

    Comment


    • #3
      Avoid the latter group, I mean who wants to marry someone who openly says they prefer to marry someone who defies Allah more? As for the race/ethnicity thing, yes it can be a problem even though us in the west have grown up with others of different races and our culture amongst youth people is far more closer to each other. Why not try to marry west africans or somalis?

      Don't let it get you down, keep making dua to Allah for a righteous spouse and continue your search. Patience is key.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by CuriousHistorian View Post
        Not doing this for the sake of moaning, but where are the practicing sisters? I've been trying to get married for the last 5 years with no success. Most of the women I have contacted are either held back due to their retarded parents who won't allow their daughters to marry a 'black man' or simply put off by so called 'religious people.'
        3 years here.

        Most Muslim girls don't want a very conservative man. That's just the reality.

        It takes a long time to find a good practicing sister who values religion. But when you do it is worth it.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by RuthlessSoftie View Post
          Avoid the latter group, I mean who wants to marry someone who openly says they prefer to marry someone who defies Allah more? As for the race/ethnicity thing, yes it can be a problem even though us in the west have grown up with others of different races and our culture amongst youth people is far more closer to each other. Why not try to marry west africans or somalis?

          Don't let it get you down, keep making dua to Allah for a righteous spouse and continue your search. Patience is key.
          Wish it was that simple to marry a Somali sister when you're a 'black guy'. It happens, but it is very rare. He is right unfortunately. It's easier just to look for someone from your own race. Why would you even want to be in family that doesn't accept you for who you are?

          Keep making Dua and don't give up.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

            3 years here.

            Most Muslim girls don't want a very conservative man. That's just the reality.

            It takes a long time to find a good practicing sister who values religion. But when you do it is worth it.
            Interesting. I always thought there were plenty of practicing sisters. Maybe it is because of where I live has a lot of Muslims and I know so many practicing sisters married and not married. Maybe sisters around my age are more practising than the younger sisters. I don't know to be honest.

            Maybe the brothers are being unrealistic. What kind of practicing sister are you all looking for? One who fulfills all her necessary Islamic requirements is not enough?Are there really no sisters who do this?

            The way ppl talk about the difficulty of finding a potential on here is pretty scary 😱. Maybe it's the generation you young ppl are growing up in.

            May Allah make it easy for you all,ameen.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by LaylaAb View Post

              Interesting. I always thought there were plenty of practicing sisters. Maybe it is because of where I live has a lot of Muslims and I know so many practicing sisters married and not married. Maybe sisters around my age are more practising than the younger sisters. I don't know to be honest.

              Maybe the brothers are being unrealistic. What kind of practicing sister are you all looking for? One who fulfills all her necessary Islamic requirements is not enough?Are there really no sisters who do this?

              The way ppl talk about the difficulty of finding a potential on here is pretty scary 😱. Maybe it's the generation you young ppl are growing up in.

              May Allah make it easy for you all,ameen.

              The situation is getting harder and harder. Young Muslims are lacking an identity and, although they won't like to admit it, are unsure about Islam. Add that the rise of the internet is making the masses aware of 'true Islam,' therefore those who understand the reality may see it as a burden to marry someone who follows it to a tee. Also, the young generation are becoming increasingly distant from their parents, who insist on nationalism. Realistically, I don't think I have a chance, I'm now almost 32. When you add the age factor, it becomes increasingly unlikely to marry. SubahanAllah, all I ask is for a pious sister that will follow Islam based on evidence. Finding someone like that and parents that won't intervene due to ethnicity is impossible. If somewhat accepted by fate. IMO there will be a time where you will get almost an entire generation who are single, or who get married in their 40s. Go back a couple of generations ago, and people were getting married late teens early twenties. With each generation, it keeps getting older.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by LaylaAb View Post

                Interesting. I always thought there were plenty of practicing sisters. Maybe it is because of where I live has a lot of Muslims and I know so many practicing sisters married and not married. Maybe sisters around my age are more practising than the younger sisters. I don't know to be honest.

                Maybe the brothers are being unrealistic. What kind of practicing sister are you all looking for? One who fulfills all her necessary Islamic requirements is not enough?Are there really no sisters who do this?

                The way ppl talk about the difficulty of finding a potential on here is pretty scary 😱. Maybe it's the generation you young ppl are growing up in.

                May Allah make it easy for you all,ameen.
                Sisters always claim that there are plenty of practicing sisters, while brothers claim the opposite. I wonder where this discrepancy comes from. Perhaps we define practicing differently?

                For me, a practicing sister is one who fulfills the obligations such as salah and siyam, covers herself properly (not just a headscarf but full cover), and does not engage in tabarruj (doesn't adorn herself in public like with makeup and stuff). She does not mix with the opposite gender or have friends from them, and she seeks knowledge in Islam in whatever capacity she is capable of.

                The above is quite difficult to come by. Most sisters wear make-up, they don't cover themselves properly. Many struggle with salah and many of them have male friends. Many are on social media posting selfies of themselves to male followers. And the majority have been affected by feminism and liberal views.

                We can either wait for the right girl, or marry a girl with good akhlaq and hope we can influence her. Neither path is easy, and the second is rather risky.

                By the way, the age demographic I'm speaking of is 18 to 26. Maybe the older girls are better, idk. But why should I have to wait till I'm 30+ to find a practicing girl?
                Last edited by Stoic Believer; 13-05-20, 08:11 AM.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

                  Sisters always claim that there are plenty of practicing sisters, while brothers claim the opposite. I wonder where this discrepancy comes from. Perhaps we define practicing differently?

                  For me, a practicing sister is one who fulfills the obligations such as salah and siyam, covers herself properly (not just a headscarf but full cover), and does not engage in tabarruj (doesn't adorn herself in public like with makeup and stuff). She does not mix with the opposite gender or have friends from them, and she seeks knowledge in Islam in whatever capacity she is capable of.

                  The above is quite difficult to come by. Most sisters wear make-up, they don't cover themselves properly. Many struggle with salah and many of them have male friends. Many are on social media posting selfies of themselves to male followers. And the majority have been affected by feminism and liberal views.

                  We can either wait for the right girl, or marry a girl with good akhlaq and hope we can influence her. Neither path is easy, and the second is rather risky.

                  By the way, the age demographic I'm speaking of is 18 to 26. Maybe the older girls are better, idk. But why should I have to wait till I'm 30+ to find a practicing girl?


                  That's the problem, what you highlighted is only the cultural acceptance of religious. The internet and websites such as Islamqa ha helped broaden our understanding. How many women do you know who don't listen to music or watch movies? Heck just mentioning things like that and not asking them of it is a turn off to many women. And if you happen to find a pious sister, like I said, their retarded parents will get in the way. And no, I won't refrain from using the term 'retard' their generation is the reason why this Ummah is in this mess, and In sh Allah they share any of the sins that their children commit because they made the halal( marriage) impossible. Nowadays having a girl friend is easier.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    25 year old female here 🙋‍♀️

                    Whilst looking for a spouse which I initially did want to be a black brother because this is what I find most attractive, the experience I had made me want to broaden my choice and going forward I’ve made myself open to all ethnicities. The issue I found was most brothers wanted to practice polygamy. I have nothing against anyone that wants to be in a marriage as such but I personally could not. I’m not sure if this is common in certain cultures but this is what I personally found to be a struggle in my search for a partner (I’m from London, UK)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by CuriousHistorian View Post



                      That's the problem, what you highlighted is only the cultural acceptance of religious. The internet and websites such as Islamqa ha helped broaden our understanding. How many women do you know who don't listen to music or watch movies? Heck just mentioning things like that and not asking them of it is a turn off to many women. And if you happen to find a pious sister, like I said, their retarded parents will get in the way. And no, I won't refrain from using the term 'retard' their generation is the reason why this Ummah is in this mess, and In sh Allah they share any of the sins that their children commit because they made the halal( marriage) impossible. Nowadays having a girl friend is easier.
                      I agree, the previous generation has a lot to answer for. They are juhal who worship their culture.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Morenarizos View Post
                        25 year old female here 🙋‍♀️

                        Whilst looking for a spouse which I initially did want to be a black brother because this is what I find most attractive, the experience I had made me want to broaden my choice and going forward I’ve made myself open to all ethnicities. The issue I found was most brothers wanted to practice polygamy. I have nothing against anyone that wants to be in a marriage as such but I personally could not. I’m not sure if this is common in certain cultures but this is what I personally found to be a struggle in my search for a partner (I’m from London, UK)
                        Are these brothers explicitly telling you that they plan on getting a 2nd wife?
                        Last edited by Stoic Believer; 13-05-20, 08:36 AM.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Morenarizos View Post
                          25 year old female here 🙋‍♀️

                          Whilst looking for a spouse which I initially did want to be a black brother because this is what I find most attractive, the experience I had made me want to broaden my choice and going forward I’ve made myself open to all ethnicities. The issue I found was most brothers wanted to practice polygamy. I have nothing against anyone that wants to be in a marriage as such but I personally could not. I’m not sure if this is common in certain cultures but this is what I personally found to be a struggle in my search for a partner (I’m from London, UK)

                          lol I cannot even get one wife never mind two. You're seriously telling me most men you met were already married?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            No, but when I asked whether they plan on practicing polygamy they said they did. So yes indirectly telling me that they would desire more than one wife

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              For the record I live very much in the real world and I am not on any social media apart from WhatsApp and YouTube however, nowadays I feel that women like myself are less desired and guys want the Instagram baddies with their turbans and picture perfect lives... May Allah swa guide all of us InshaAllah
                              Last edited by Morenarizos; 13-05-20, 08:49 AM.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X