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Has a second wife worked for any of the brothers?

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  • #76
    And in the end, not a single polygamous brother chimed in

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    • #77
      Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
      And in the end, not a single polygamous brother chimed in
      Bookmark the thread, my son.

      Bookmark the thread.

      One day insha Allah.
      You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

      You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

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      • #78
        Originally posted by Linkdeutscher View Post

        Bookmark the thread, my son.

        Bookmark the thread.

        One day insha Allah.
        if u marry a 2nd woman

        and the 1st woman divorces you because she doesn't want to be in a polgyamous marriage

        how would you feel?

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        • #79
          Originally posted by detached soul View Post

          Well my friend you see someone treating both wives fairly by both wives talking good of their husband and both saying they are both happy with the living arrangements and they are both happy with their husband. Thats how you measure both wives are treated fairly.


          I know a few people who are married more than once and they are all accepted within the community and people have only good things to say about the man and his 2 wives. So it is not that hard brother.
          So the wives need to broadcast their relationship and that's one of the ways others would go "yep this is all good". Most people lead private lives and what goes on behind closed doors stays behind closed doors.

          Is it normal for a wife to talk of her husband to others?

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          • #80
            Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post

            So the wives need to broadcast their relationship and that's one of the ways others would go "yep this is all good". Most people lead private lives and what goes on behind closed doors stays behind closed doors.

            Is it normal for a wife to talk of her husband to others?
            No the wives do not need to broadcast their relationship. This is not what i'm saying!

            Its nobody else's business whether a man has 1 wife 2 wives or 3 wives and its no concern of anybody whether they are happy or not. People should mind their own business and stay out of the affairs of others. People will talk regardless. Let them talk.

            'If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]'

            Surah Ibrahim (14:7)

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            • #81
              If having a second third forth wife is helping the sister and you know you are going to gain a lot of rewards from this as long as you carry out your duty then it's more likely to be harmonious and blessed.

              otherwise if it's just to, get it out, because wife no.1 isn't giving to you then be prepared for more headache.

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              • #82
                Originally posted by detached soul View Post

                No the wives do not need to broadcast their relationship. This is not what i'm saying!

                Its nobody else's business whether a man has 1 wife 2 wives or 3 wives and its no concern of anybody whether they are happy or not. People should mind their own business and stay out of the affairs of others. People will talk regardless. Let them talk.
                Yes people talk because those wifes who have been in those marriages want to warn other sisters from those men.

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                • #83
                  Originally posted by ExitSpeed70 View Post
                  Assalamualaikum again. I think some of you are adding your own imagination in what has happened and what we should try. I think on these forums we should stay focused on the question the OP asks. If we can help with that good, if not, move on to another thread but don't apply your own imagination to misconstrue the situation or suggest things that you don't know. They may have already been tried.

                  I did want to add one more thing that might help us all on this forum. As we answer questions or give advice, let's add some empathy to our responses. A lot of time people just want someone else to hear them out. So if we start with acknowledging the pain or bad situation a person is going through, that helps tremendously. So eg "so sorry to hear sister/brother that your spouse won't spend time with you. That list be tough. Hang in there. Here are some ideas ...". Something like that can go a long ways inshallah.

                  btw the decision I've made is to not marry second wife. Inshallah if things get a little better at home then this is Allah's plan for me and I will be patient. But if things get any worse then I will divorce her and then think about re-marrying. Thank you all for helping me think through this .

                  Ws
                  What an amazing post..

                  Let me go back to imagining the time when empathy was part and parcel of the Muslim religion, and drilling ones' own ideas and thoughts down other people's throats (going past the boundaries of sarcasm, even!) was frowned upon and looked at with disgust..

                  What a society that must have been
                  وَإِذَا قِيلَ لَهُمۡ ءَامِنُواْ كَمَآ ءَامَنَ ٱلنَّاسُ قَالُوٓاْ أَنُؤۡمِنُ كَمَآ ءَامَنَ ٱلسُّفَهَآءُ*ۗ أَلَآ إِنَّهُمۡ هُمُ ٱلسُّفَهَآءُ وَلَـٰكِن لَّا يَعۡلَمُونَ


                  And when it is said unto them: believe as the people believe, they say: Shall we believe as the foolish believe? Beware! They indeed are the foolish? But they know not.
                  Al Baqarah : Verse 13

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                  • #84
                    Originally posted by detached soul View Post

                    No the wives do not need to broadcast their relationship. This is not what i'm saying!

                    Its nobody else's business whether a man has 1 wife 2 wives or 3 wives and its no concern of anybody whether they are happy or not. People should mind their own business and stay out of the affairs of others. People will talk regardless. Let them talk.
                    Okay.

                    Comment


                    • #85
                      Originally posted by LaylaAb View Post

                      walaikum assalam

                      May Allah bless your marriage and may Allah put love in your wife's heart for you,ameen. It's Ramadan inshaallah continue to make dua. I'll be posting some beneficial videos in the marriage section, please have a watch along with your wife. If your wife is a practising woman then inshaallah she will gain benefit and knowledge from them. I really hope Allah grants you the love and tranquility you seek, ameen.

                      Great advice on how we should have better etiquettes in the forum.
                      jazakAllah khair. I will keep an eye out. Yes duas are continuing. Maybe this is the Ramadan when he changes her heart towards me . Ameen.

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                      • #86
                        Yes it worked for me hopefully i can get a 3rd :)

                        jk jk

                        but someone told me an 18 year old muslim in England had 2 wives

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                        • #87
                          Originally posted by Flawed View Post
                          If having a second third forth wife is helping the sister and you know you are going to gain a lot of rewards from this as long as you carry out your duty then it's more likely to be harmonious and blessed.

                          otherwise if it's just to, get it out, because wife no.1 isn't giving to you then be prepared for more headache.
                          every woman will give her husband a headache for getting a 2nd wife

                          that's their nature

                          but men are meant to lead women so you don't listen to their nature

                          otherwise no man would marry a 2nd wife

                          a man can marry a 2nd wife for any reason - so people need to stop saying he should only marry a 2nd wife if she it's a widow, that's complete nonsense

                          and being against polygamy might take you out of islam idk tbh

                          but you can't be AGAINST it as it is halal

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                          • #88
                            Can I just ask, how would you go about getting a second wife? I don't know anyone who has a second wife in Britain, well not personally anyway.

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