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How do you divide finances between working wife and husband?

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  • #16
    Originally posted by Eijaz Koor View Post

    you are liable to pay for everything

    Whatever she does is a gift.
    He is liable to pay only for necessities, everything above necessity will be a gift by the husband. ----
    "Europe died in Bosnia and was buried in Syria. Bodies of innocent children washing ashore are the
    western civilization's tombstones"


    Rajab Tayyab Erdogan

    Comment


    • #17
      Originally posted by UmmAbdullah86 View Post

      I haven't heard of that either, but that is just the nature of this sister, and it was a blessing to her as her husband was very prepared to shaft her financially. He was only able to do the post-grad because she financially supported him, but he was prepared to forget this and leave her in a bad position.

      In hindsight I wish i hadn't shared the money to be honest, as it is now invested in something where my name is not on it so I would have no automatic claim to it. Alhamdulillah if I took it to shariah court I would be awarded it back though. That is not materialism, that is Islam, which recognizes the vulnerability of the woman, alhamdulillah.
      I don't know which version of Islam allows one to keep the record of money you have spent on your spouse, Plz enlighten me? ----- when you start bookkeeping of amount spent on spouse, that's pure materialism, not Islam.

      And if you have spent money on your husband out of free will or gifted him, Shariah court will give you back nothing -- only if you have loaned the money, only than you get back.
      "Europe died in Bosnia and was buried in Syria. Bodies of innocent children washing ashore are the
      western civilization's tombstones"


      Rajab Tayyab Erdogan

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by imran1976 View Post

        He is liable to pay only for necessities, everything above necessity will be a gift by the husband. ----
        Yes but even necessities don't need to be placed on wife.

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by imran1976 View Post

          I don't know which version of Islam allows one to keep the record of money you have spent on your spouse, Plz enlighten me? ----- when you start bookkeeping of amount spent on spouse, that's pure materialism, not Islam.

          And if you have spent money on your husband out of free will or gifted him, Shariah court will give you back nothing -- only if you have loaned the money, only than you get back.
          Brother this is not true. In the case of divorce the judge will take into account what assets the woman has contributed to the marriage. My BIL got divorced and the court ordered that he had to pay her DOUBLE the amount stipulated as her original mahr mu-akher as she had worked and paid into the house for the duration of their seven year marriage. The wife did not ask or demand that, it was the judge. The woman is not obliged to spend on the household, but where she has, it will be taken into consideration in the case of divorce, and rightfully so. I'm not for one minute advocating that sisters keep copies of every receipt for everything they bought, but the point stands that this is not materialism, in Islam it is viewed as a sadaqah, not as a gift.

          Comment


          • #20
            Anyone can play the rights and obligations game. A husband can choose to do the bare minimum that's obligated on him. He's fulfilling his obligations, so the wife should be happy right?

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by Juwairiyyah View Post

              He doesn't have a right to demand this at all Islamically, especially since he can afford the living expenses. Her money is hers to spend as she wishes. If she decides to contribute to the household, it's also up to her to decide how much of it should go into it.

              The wise thing to do here will be for her to not contribute financially to the household, so that when she had to leave work later when they had children, her savings will come in handy if they happen to be struggling financially at that time.
              Islamically speaking, a Muslim woman is not allowed to work unnecessarily --- she is allowed only out of necessity with some conditions.

              Most of the Muslim women in our times don't work out of necessity, mostly it's inspired by western culture aka making career type thing.

              There's a Hadith that a woman is responsible for husband's house, how can a woman who works 8-12 hours meet these responsibilities ---- The responsibilities could be cleaning, cooking, kids etc., ---- In such cases, husband can demand certain amount from a working wife, which will be paid to those hired for doing such jobs.

              There's also a misconception that a husband is required to meet ALL the expenses, let me clear this misconception:
              Husband is responsible only for all the necessities,.food/clothing/bills etc., ---- clothing would be a necessity up to a certain limit, after that it's a luxury, same with bills.

              Just like working wife money is hers and she could spend as she likes, same way, whatever is left after meeting the necessities, it's the husband's money and he can spend where ever he wants. -----

              Also, whatever wife spends on husband is a gift --- same way, whatever husband spends on wife (other than necessity) is also a gift.
              "Europe died in Bosnia and was buried in Syria. Bodies of innocent children washing ashore are the
              western civilization's tombstones"


              Rajab Tayyab Erdogan

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by UmmAbdullah86 View Post

                Brother this is not true. In the case of divorce the judge will take into account what assets the woman has contributed to the marriage. My BIL got divorced and the court ordered that he had to pay her DOUBLE the amount stipulated as her original mahr mu-akher as she had worked and paid into the house for the duration of their seven year marriage. The wife did not ask or demand that, it was the judge. The woman is not obliged to spend on the household, but where she has, it will be taken into consideration in the case of divorce, and rightfully so. I'm not for one minute advocating that sisters keep copies of every receipt for everything they bought, but the point stands that this is not materialism, in Islam it is viewed as a sadaqah, not as a gift.
                sister, where in the world (including my country) we have shari courts ---- I don't know on what basis the judgement was given ----- but if the the women spent out of free will or she agreed to contribute, than how can she demand or the court ask the man to return the money.

                okay than let's say it's a sadqah --- I ask again, on what basis a sadqah is asked to be returned, divorced or not divorced, sadqah is sadqah.

                I have explained in my post that whatever husband spents more than necessity, this is also a gift (sadqah) --- shouldn't the husband also get back whatever he spent more (in case there's a separation)???
                "Europe died in Bosnia and was buried in Syria. Bodies of innocent children washing ashore are the
                western civilization's tombstones"


                Rajab Tayyab Erdogan

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by imran1976 View Post

                  Islamically speaking, a Muslim woman is not allowed to work unnecessarily --- she is allowed only out of necessity with some conditions.

                  Most of the Muslim women in our times don't work out of necessity, mostly it's inspired by western culture aka making career type thing.

                  There's a Hadith that a woman is responsible for husband's house, how can a woman who works 8-12 hours meet these responsibilities ---- The responsibilities could be cleaning, cooking, kids etc., ---- In such cases, husband can demand certain amount from a working wife, which will be paid to those hired for doing such jobs.

                  There's also a misconception that a husband is required to meet ALL the expenses, let me clear this misconception:
                  Husband is responsible only for all the necessities,.food/clothing/bills etc., ---- clothing would be a necessity up to a certain limit, after that it's a luxury, same with bills.

                  Just like working wife money is hers and she could spend as she likes, same way, whatever is left after meeting the necessities, it's the husband's money and he can spend where ever he wants. -----

                  Also, whatever wife spends on husband is a gift --- same way, whatever husband spends on wife (other than necessity) is also a gift.
                  Can you provide a daleel for the highlighted bits please?

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
                    Anyone can play the rights and obligations game. A husband can choose to do the bare minimum that's obligated on him. He's fulfilling his obligations, so the wife should be happy right?
                    This causes so many problems in marriages which is why it really should be spoken about before marriage. There is such a huge range in what is deemed as necessity and I know in the gulf states what is considered necessity it is not in Sham and vice versa. Local scholars consider 'urf of the land too, so it needs to be contextualized to a place.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Originally posted by Eijaz Koor View Post

                      Yes but even necessities don't need to be placed on wife.
                      and when did I say that necessities be placed on wives?
                      Let me repeat my viewpoint (the scenario involves a husband and a working wife):

                      wife is responsible for husband's house, if the husband hires people to do some jobs as the working wife couldn't manage due to workload , he can demand contribution as he hired people only because the working wife failed to do her job.

                      upto a certain limit it's a necessity, after that it becomes a luxury, let's say electricity bills --- I can afford air conditioner usage only up to a specific limit, after that I can't afford --- but say my working wife wants more usage of air conditioner, sure she can use 24/7, but extra bill will be paid by her (necessity turned to luxury).
                      "Europe died in Bosnia and was buried in Syria. Bodies of innocent children washing ashore are the
                      western civilization's tombstones"


                      Rajab Tayyab Erdogan

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by UmmAbdullah86 View Post

                        Can you provide a daleel for the highlighted bits please?
                        I understood this from your and one other sister post that whatever wife spent on husband is a gift or a sadqah.
                        "Europe died in Bosnia and was buried in Syria. Bodies of innocent children washing ashore are the
                        western civilization's tombstones"


                        Rajab Tayyab Erdogan

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by imran1976 View Post

                          sister, where in the world (including my country) we have shari courts ---- I don't know on what basis the judgement was given ----- but if the the women spent out of free will or she agreed to contribute, than how can she demand or the court ask the man to return the money.

                          okay than let's say it's a sadqah --- I ask again, on what basis a sadqah is asked to be returned, divorced or not divorced, sadqah is sadqah.

                          I have explained in my post that whatever husband spents more than necessity, this is also a gift (sadqah) --- shouldn't the husband also get back whatever he spent more (in case there's a separation)???
                          No one demanded to have the money back, the court awarded extra money based on her contribution (that is not an Islamic requirement on her) The woman is in a weaker or more vulnerable financial position than the man in Islam. By your rationale if a woman paid for half a house and then they got divorced, that should not be taken into account? I'm quite sure no judges are concerned about a loaf of bread that was bought two decades earlier, but where there was a substantial or regular contribution it will be taken into account, alhamdulillah. I'm not sure why that is hard for you to understand.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by UmmAbdullah86 View Post

                            This causes so many problems in marriages which is why it really should be spoken about before marriage. There is such a huge range in what is deemed as necessity and I know in the gulf states what is considered necessity it is not in Sham and vice versa. Local scholars consider 'urf of the land too, so it needs to be contextualized to a place.
                            This is where I was trying to come that these things causes so many problems ---- We don't discuss these things before marriages and the reason we have happy marriages.
                            mines is yours, yours is mine --- happy living.
                            "Europe died in Bosnia and was buried in Syria. Bodies of innocent children washing ashore are the
                            western civilization's tombstones"


                            Rajab Tayyab Erdogan

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by UmmAbdullah86 View Post

                              No one demanded to have the money back, the court awarded extra money based on her contribution (that is not an Islamic requirement on her) The woman is in a weaker or more vulnerable financial position than the man in Islam. By your rationale if a woman paid for half a house and then they got divorced, that should not be taken into account? I'm quite sure no judges are concerned about a loaf of bread that was bought two decades earlier, but where there was a substantial or regular contribution it will be taken into account, alhamdulillah. I'm not sure why that is hard for you to understand.
                              demanded or not, the hard part is, if she contributed out of free will (when things were running smoothly) or out of love, on what basis she gets back that money --- show me the evidence from Quran and Sunnah.

                              going by this logic, isn't the husband also entitled to get back whatever he spent more than necessity??
                              "Europe died in Bosnia and was buried in Syria. Bodies of innocent children washing ashore are the
                              western civilization's tombstones"


                              Rajab Tayyab Erdogan

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Originally posted by UmmAbdullah86 View Post

                                No one demanded to have the money back, the court awarded extra money based on her contribution (that is not an Islamic requirement on her) The woman is in a weaker or more vulnerable financial position than the man in Islam. By your rationale if a woman paid for half a house and then they got divorced, that should not be taken into account? I'm quite sure no judges are concerned about a loaf of bread that was bought two decades earlier, but where there was a substantial or regular contribution it will be taken into account, alhamdulillah. I'm not sure why that is hard for you to understand.
                                How is she in a weaker financial position? Are we still talking about educated, working women?

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