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  • Potential marriage

    assalamualaykum

    I am in a situation which I need advice on.

    I am 22 years old and have been praying to get married for a roughly a year now asking Allah SWT to guide me to the right person for me.

    I have never had a haram relationship alhamdullilah

    recently, I joined my universitys isoc and I have been constantly crossing paths with a brother who I had no previous knowledge of.

    from what I can observe, he is always at Jummah, he helps out with charity work and seems like the type of person that has all the qualities I wanted in a husband whenever I made dua to Allah about marriage.

    There has been far too many incidents that have made us meet and I simply do not know how to control my feelings for him.

    To make it very clear. We have never spoken freely with each, we do not even know each other’s name

    But I have developed feelings for this brother purely on the basis of his love for the Deen and kind personality.

    He shows signs of mutual feelings but I feel he is not taking action due to the fear of rejection

    Please help me. How should I tell him in an appropriate manner that I want to consider him for marriage?

    If you got to the end of this, thanks for reading and I hope I can get some sincere advice...


  • #2


    Not intending to rain on your parade, but just because he appears a certain way, it does not follow he will be a good husband or compatible with you. There are many horror stories of what a seemingly devout pillar of the community is like behind closed doors. That being said, if I were you, I would not do anything. If he was interested, I don't think fear of rejection would hold him back. Even if he was interested, if he cannot summon the courage to do anything about it, then he is not ready for marriage.

    Also get a grip and try to keep your "feelings" in check for your own benefit.
    Spears shall be shaken! Shields shall be splintered! a sword day..a red day..ere the sun rises! Ride now! Ride now! Ride! Ride to ruin, and the worlds ending!

    None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.

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    • #3
      https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/6349/حك...-للزواج
      The fatwa above states it is permissable for a woman to propose to a man.
      My advice is, if you want to go ahead try and get your father or brother etc or an older female in your family to ask for you. And you said you have never been in a haram relationship, so dont let this be your first. Dont be alone with him and if he ever tries to get you alone with him then move on and try and find someone else.
      Last edited by Obaidah23; 14-02-20, 10:24 AM.

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      • #4
        Do NOT propose to him, you may have completely crossed wires and in that case you will feel embarrassed. Ask a sister in ISOC who has contacts with one of his friends to ask what he thinks of you in a round about way. Not as in 'she really likes you, what do you think of her?' but more I think sister SabJameel might be well suited to your character, what do you think?

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        • #5
          ISOC...a lot of good goes on there but from what I remember plenty of so not so good as well.

          The thread should be titled "Potential Potential".

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          • #6
            Originally posted by UmmAbdullah86 View Post
            Do NOT propose to him, you may have completely crossed wires and in that case you will feel embarrassed. Ask a sister in ISOC who has contacts with one of his friends to ask what he thinks of you in a round about way. Not as in 'she really likes you, what do you think of her?' but more I think sister SabJameel might be well suited to your character, what do you think?
            Yeah my first thoughts were..her assessment of the situation could be completely wrong.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
              ISOC...a lot of good goes on there but from what I remember plenty of so not so good as well.

              The thread should be titled "Potential Potential".
              Theres lots of labels put on isocs but it’s not necessarily all bad - depends on the person and the intentions of course.



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              • #8
                Better to think about marriage after graduation

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