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Potential I spoke to says he likes me but .......

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  • Potential I spoke to says he likes me but .......

    doesn't bring up marriage or our future together.

    So we've been talking to each other for 4 months and he didn't even mention anything about marriage with me.
    I don't know what to do?

  • #2
    Stop talking...
    "Yaa Allah grant me victory, or make me die Shaheed"

    Remember how the Unbelievers plotted against thee, to keep thee in bonds, or slay thee, or get thee out (of thy home). They plot and plan, and Allah too plans; but the best of planners is Allah.
    (surah al-anfal v.30)

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Qiyas View Post
      Stop talking...
      why?

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by 21345 View Post

        why?
        Because if it's not for the purpose of marriage, it's free mixing, which is haram...
        "Yaa Allah grant me victory, or make me die Shaheed"

        Remember how the Unbelievers plotted against thee, to keep thee in bonds, or slay thee, or get thee out (of thy home). They plot and plan, and Allah too plans; but the best of planners is Allah.
        (surah al-anfal v.30)

        Comment


        • #5
          What does he want? Looks like he is not interested in marriage. Or he believes in dating and all that Haram stuff and then maybe if he is interested then he'll bring it up. Are you a practicing Muslim? This is Haram. He should be contacting your wali if he is interested in marriage. Don't waste your time. Don't ignore red flags. Don't allow a man to play around with you. You deserve better.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by LaylaAb View Post
            What does he want? Looks like he is not interested in marriage. Or he believes in dating and all that Haram stuff and then maybe if he is interested then he'll bring it up. Are you a practicing Muslim? This is Haram. He should be contacting your wali if he is interested in marriage. Don't waste your time. Don't ignore red flags. Don't allow a man to play around with you. You deserve better.
            Alhamdulillah I am practising he's not.

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            • #7
              Why don't you bring up marriage and ask if there's a possibility of a future together? If he agrees then ascertain his level of seriousness by asking when he intends to tell his family and contact your family? If he says he wants to get to know you a bit more then assume that is a red flag and distance yourself from him. If he admits that he isn't thinking of getting marriage yet, then you know where you stand.
              The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by 21345 View Post

                Alhamdulillah I am practising he's not.
                Sister why do you want to marry him then?

                Run as far away as you can. Never ever marry a man who does not practice his deen. Don't even go there my dear.

                Don't marry a wasteman, don't marry a man who can't provide, don't marry a man who doesn't have a good character, and most certainly DO NOT marry a man who does not take his religion serious, never ever ever.

                Why??? Because a man who does not fear Allah and take his religion seriously will not help you raise pious children, he will fall into sins easier than a brother who is not practicing, you will never be on the same page on serious issues, he is more likely to mistreat you because he doesn't fear or care about Allah or his religion....I could go on and on.

                But the most important thing is, if you have an issue within your marriage, you can always look back on Quran and Sunnah to resolve your marriage issues. What are you going to do when you have problems in marriage if you don't BOTH put an importance on deen.

                I have been married many many years and I can safely say it's not easy. Make the first step by marrying a pious brother.

                Do not marry a man for his potential.
                Do not marry a man because he is handsome and sweet talks you.

                As a practicing sister, you will never be happy in your marriage if you marry a man with no deen. You will also be tired of him, cranky, sad, depressed, on and on. You will have no respect for him, he won't be a leader.

                Run girl and never look back!

                Comment


                • #9
                  I think you should seek someone who is equally practising if not more than yourself! Otherwise, you will find yourself chasing him to act in line with his deen which btw he might not even want to do, this will result in you ending up in an unhappy marriage. I agree with the above sister, say you marry someone who is pious and righteous, someone who is on the same page as you and is practising, atleast if you have any issues then you can both reflect on what is recommended Islamically. A man who fears Allah will look after you and will not disrespect you! Lets say you do go ahead with this man, be open and transparent and let him know that your intention is for marriage and ask him if he is interested and ask him how important religion is to him. Please be careful and do not just settle for anyone!

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by LaylaAb View Post

                    Sister why do you want to marry him then?

                    Run as far away as you can. Never ever marry a man who does not practice his deen. Don't even go there my dear.

                    Don't marry a wasteman, don't marry a man who can't provide, don't marry a man who doesn't have a good character, and most certainly DO NOT marry a man who does not take his religion serious, never ever ever.

                    Why??? Because a man who does not fear Allah and take his religion seriously will not help you raise pious children, he will fall into sins easier than a brother who is not practicing, you will never be on the same page on serious issues, he is more likely to mistreat you because he doesn't fear or care about Allah or his religion....I could go on and on.

                    But the most important thing is, if you have an issue within your marriage, you can always look back on Quran and Sunnah to resolve your marriage issues. What are you going to do when you have problems in marriage if you don't BOTH put an importance on deen.

                    I have been married many many years and I can safely say it's not easy. Make the first step by marrying a pious brother.

                    Do not marry a man for his potential.
                    Do not marry a man because he is handsome and sweet talks you.

                    As a practicing sister, you will never be happy in your marriage if you marry a man with no deen. You will also be tired of him, cranky, sad, depressed, on and on. You will have no respect for him, he won't be a leader.

                    Run girl and never look back!


                    What I've gathered is that this man doesn't want marriage but a relationship, purely based on the fact that he " isn't financially stable to get into a marriage" that were his words astaghfirullah

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by 21345 View Post



                      What I've gathered is that this man doesn't want marriage but a relationship, purely based on the fact that he " isn't financially stable to get into a marriage" that were his words astaghfirullah
                      Okay, that does it. Stop talking to him.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by 21345 View Post

                        Alhamdulillah I am practising he's not.
                        I can't tell if you're a troll or just an average Muslim woman
                        ​​​

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                        • #13
                          Stay away from him. Look for someone who is practising or atleast takes his deem seriously.
                          There is a clock on your forehead counting down to the time of your death. Only Allah knows how many seconds are left on it

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                          • #14
                            You deserve far better. He’s clearly just wasting your time. May Allah SWT bless you with a pious spouse

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                            • #15
                              How can he be a potential if he never mentioned marriage?

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