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what Does a new revert have to do to keep up with the religion?

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  • what Does a new revert have to do to keep up with the religion?

    I want to marry a man that has converted to Islam around 6 months ago. He has made no effort to learn salah or any of the verses of the Quran. He says he believes in Islam and the concepts and that is all he is doing? I don’t know if he will fast when the time comes? I am a born Muslim from the UK and try to do what u can with my namaz, Charity Fasting etc.. I am hoping to become more religious as life goes on but I am worried about marrying this man in case it causes conflicts between us. What does he have to do to keep his status as a Muslim ? He doesn’t pray... I’m worried.

  • #2
    I wouldn't marry him. Find a brother who is already practicing his deen. 6 months and no effort, that's a red flag. Maybe he will change in the future, but I wouldn't take chances. I have been married for 16 years. Marriage is hard and takes a lot of work. You don't want to start your marriage life with someone who is not practicing. Don't settle for this, you deserve a practicing brother that you can learn from and can bring you closer to Allah. Please don't rush into this. Where is your wali? Does he know about this brother?

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    • #3
      I find that the biggest mistake women make is that they marry for potential. Please don't marry for that. Make sure the man already has all the qualities you want. His deen, character, and can he provide. I will highly recommend that you make a list of questions that are important to you and have potential partner answer them to get an idea if you share the same values, goals, morals etc.
      When it comes to religion, you don't want a husband that you are always reminding and nagging to pray, fast, read Quran etc. You want some one you can raise pious children with.
      He is a new revert, this is a time for him to learn his religion. Let him do that. But you need an already practicing brother in my opinion.
      Last edited by LaylaAb; 02-02-20, 10:31 PM.

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      • #4
        He has to commit to religion and pray five times a day.
        Fast during the month of Ramadan.
        Give zakat.
        Show kindness to others, keep ties with family, eat halal and earn a halal living.

        This is brief so a revert has to do whatever every other muslim has to. Follow religion as much as possible.


        Sorry sister but I am quite sure you know this is not a good idea.

        He isn't committed to religion so guess what I will say?

        Stop talking to him before it's too late and move on for your own iman.

        In Sha Allah you will be rewarded and find someone better



        'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

        So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Muslima2104 View Post
          I want to marry a man that has converted to Islam around 6 months ago. He has made no effort to learn salah or any of the verses of the Quran. He says he believes in Islam and the concepts and that is all he is doing? I don’t know if he will fast when the time comes? I am a born Muslim from the UK and try to do what u can with my namaz, Charity Fasting etc.. I am hoping to become more religious as life goes on but I am worried about marrying this man in case it causes conflicts between us. What does he have to do to keep his status as a Muslim ? He doesn’t pray... I’m worried.
          What has your Wali said regarding this matter?

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Muslima2104 View Post
            I want to marry a man that has converted to Islam around 6 months ago. He has made no effort to learn salah or any of the verses of the Quran. He says he believes in Islam and the concepts and that is all he is doing? I don’t know if he will fast when the time comes? I am a born Muslim from the UK and try to do what u can with my namaz, Charity Fasting etc.. I am hoping to become more religious as life goes on but I am worried about marrying this man in case it causes conflicts between us. What does he have to do to keep his status as a Muslim ? He doesn’t pray... I’m worried.
            Why do you want to marry him?

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            • #7
              He does not sound like marriage material. Converting is about making a commitment to Allah (swt) but he is acting non committal in his faraid already. It would be different if he were learning and struggling to memorise and then we could accept that it takes time but he does not seem to be even trying. This is a bad sign. It suggests one of two things: either he genuinely believes in Islam but thinks it's like Christianity where you just say "I believe" and that's enough to be "saved"- in which case his conversion is genuine but certain things need to be clarified and explained to him

              OR....

              He's one of those scare stories we hear about people from non Muslim backgrounds who "convert" to Islam not out of genuine belief, but because they fantasize about marrying an "exotic" good Muslim woman and have no real intention to live an Islamic life.

              If he belongs to the former category, then it might be worth speaking to someone Islamically knowledgeable whom he respects (perhaps the person who convinced him to embrace Islam) in the hope of clearing his misconceptions and helping him become a better Muslim and then wait some months to see if he heeds that advice. If he belongs to the latter category, then you'll see over time that he will not get any better and more red flags will emerge that he's not good for you and then you can part ways. My advice is don't get taken in by kind words, flattery or lip service about how much he likes you- it could be a smokescreen to hide his inadequacies in religion.
              The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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              • #8
                Don't marry him. People who don't fulfill basic things like salah tend to fall short in other areas and commit sins that are difficult for practicing Muslims to tolerate. Do you really think you could live with someone who takes sins you abhor lightly? He may agree with you on what's haram and halal, but it doesn't mean he will stop himself from doing what he wants.

                If someone won't fulfill the rights of Allah, then what makes you think they will care to fulfill your Islamic rights as their spouse?

                And what kind of influence will this person be on your children? Part of their rights are that you choose a good partner to be their father. Do you think someone who isn't practicing will be a good example for them? There is no guarantee he will change in the future. Take him as he is now and don't expect any improvement as he isn't showing signs of that.
                قد كانت لكم أسوة حسنة في إبراهيم والذين معه إذ قالوا لقومهم إنا برآء منكم ومما تعبدون من دون الله كفرنا بكم وبدا بيننا وبينكم العداوة والبغضاء أبدا حتى تؤمنوا بالله وحده

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