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  • marrying an atheist

    Apparently marriage with an atheist is null....As far as i know the ayahs and hadiths stop the marriage with idoltress.....if they match in everything except religion but she respects the fact he is a practising muslim,and talking to children about religion,i dont think its a big problem.....after all atheists and christians these days are almost the same,cuz christians in the time of the prophet saws were totally diff than today....so why is that we cant marry atheists?....
    whoever leaves something for the sake of Allah,Allah will replace it with something better

  • #2
    Assalaamu alaikum brother, how are you?

    Well I obviously have no right except to say the law Islamically. Which forbids marriage to atheists.

    I know it must be difficult for converts. I can't imagine how hard it is, given some of their dominant cultures aren't Muslim, which complicates finding a like minded Muslim sister or brother to marry. Someone who shares traits and sensibilities.

    I ask Allah to grant u a brilliant and amazing Muslim spouse from your nation, if that is what you prefer, or to give you what you prefer and to bless it for you.

    I think Allah bans these marriages, because although atheists are just humans and we thus have many commonalities with the fellow children of adam, despite that they can be detrimental to the tarbiya/development of a Muslim kid or even spouse.

    I have a close non-Muslim friend, I respect her etc but my Muslim sister friends have the edge and she doesn't develop me in the sense Muslim friends do. Although I really appreciate her still.

    That means, casually suggesting I do things that are against the deen, not to be disrespectful but that is acceptable in her lifestyle.

    When I tell her I can't, she understands but there is still a disconnect, if you know what I mean.

    Imagine your spouse then, a full time commitment, not like a hi - lets meet at the mall and go later to our individual homes thing (like friendships?)

    Just try to reflect beyond the marriage ceremony stage, try to deeply reflect why this is forbidden.

    Its preferred that Muslim men marry Muslimas too, more than the people of the book.
    وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

    And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


    أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

    Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


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    • #3
      Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post
      Assalaamu alaikum brother, how are you?

      Well I obviously have no right except to say the law Islamically. Which forbids marriage to atheists.

      I know it must be difficult for converts. I can't imagine how hard it is, given some of their dominant cultures aren't Muslim, which complicates finding a like minded Muslim sister or brother to marry. Someone who shares traits and sensibilities.

      I ask Allah to grant u a brilliant and amazing Muslim spouse from your nation, if that is what you prefer, or to give you what you prefer and to bless it for you.

      I think Allah bans these marriages, because although atheists are just humans and we thus have many commonalities with the fellow children of adam, despite that they can be detrimental to the tarbiya/development of a Muslim kid or even spouse.

      I have a close non-Muslim friend, I respect her etc but my Muslim sister friends have the edge and she doesn't develop me in the sense Muslim friends do. Although I really appreciate her still.

      That means, casually suggesting I do things that are against the deen, not to be disrespectful but that is acceptable in her lifestyle.

      When I tell her I can't, she understands but there is still a disconnect, if you know what I mean.

      Imagine your spouse then, a full time commitment, not like a hi - lets meet at the mall and go later to our individual homes thing (like friendships?)

      Just try to reflect beyond the marriage ceremony stage, try to deeply reflect why this is forbidden.

      Its preferred that Muslim men marry Muslimas too, more than the people of the book.
      Walaikum assalam sis...good,thanks for asking,i hope you did well in your exam too

      You are so right,its exactly like that..there is always that disconnection,but i lived 8 years with nonmuslims as a secret muslim so i dont mind living my whole life with it as a freerly practising one....and yes a muslim would def develop and motivate you more,i think the same,would give you a whole dif livestyle tbh,but i guess im "forced" to compromisse...as you said its very hard,i live in a nonmuslim country,with nonmuslims around me,some masjids yes but they are ahmadiyah...my only option is finding her online,but online they are either too good for me or not good for me..so when i meet smn who fits with me in everything,loves me for who i am and is the only person who makes me happy,feels like a one in a lifetime opportunity....its so sad we cant marry them without going against the law of Allah....i guess i should just bear this huge pain and hope it ends soon..

      Dont forget to make duaa in the last hour before magribh...its jummah today
      whoever leaves something for the sake of Allah,Allah will replace it with something better

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Aetos View Post

        Walaikum assalam sis...good,thanks for asking,i hope you did well in your exam too

        You are so right,its exactly like that..there is always that disconnection,but i lived 8 years with nonmuslims as a secret muslim so i dont mind living my whole life with it as a freerly practising one....and yes a muslim would def develop and motivate you more,i think the same,would give you a whole dif livestyle tbh,but i guess im "forced" to compromisse...as you said its very hard,i live in a nonmuslim country,with nonmuslims around me,some masjids yes but they are ahmadiyah...my only option is finding her online,but online they are either too good for me or not good for me..so when i meet smn who fits with me in everything,loves me for who i am and is the only person who makes me happy,feels like a one in a lifetime opportunity....its so sad we cant marry them without going against the law of Allah....i guess i should just bear this huge pain and hope it ends soon..

        Dont forget to make duaa in the last hour before magribh...its jummah today
        Brother as born Muslims some of us are in the same boat as you.

        Insha-Allah Allah will open ways for us, we must keep knocking on His door.

        Comment


        • #5
          Assalamu alaikum,

          In my country (community) there are many religions and a lot of atheism. But also Muslims with no practicing deen. Many women married those kinds of Muslims (by name only, not real Muslims) and they spent years of praying for their husbands to take Islam. And it happened in the end. Allah accepted their dua, their husbands are true believers now. My best friend is an example for this. She married a guy who only prayed Jummah and used to drink alcohol, not ever care about deen. After years of patience and duas now he's a true believer.

          If you care about your atheist wife, then go ahead, make dua every single day for her and eventually she'll accept Islam.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Aetos View Post
            Apparently marriage with an atheist is null...
            Correct.

            ...so why is that we cant marry atheists?....
            See above.

            Comment


            • #7
              https://www.islamreligion.com/articl...e-polytheists/
              Muslims Search Engine !
              And those who disbelieved will then say, " Our Lord, show us those who misled us of the jinn and mankind ,so we may put them under our feet that they will be among the lowest."

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              • #8
                Atheism is a greater sin than Shirk - IslamQA:

                https://www.google.com/amp/s/islamqa...answers/113901

                "Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said a great deal which indicates that this group of atheists who deny and reject the existence of God are in a worse state of kufr than the mushrikeen who associate partners with Him."

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Eijaz Koor View Post

                  Brother as born Muslims some of us are in the same boat as you.

                  Insha-Allah Allah will open ways for us, we must keep knocking on His door.
                  At least you got muslim parents.They can look or smth.I have literally nobody,no reference,nothing 😅...But Allah can do everything..

                  Originally posted by Loving View Post
                  Assalamu alaikum,

                  In my country (community) there are many religions and a lot of atheism. But also Muslims with no practicing deen. Many women married those kinds of Muslims (by name only, not real Muslims) and they spent years of praying for their husbands to take Islam. And it happened in the end. Allah accepted their dua, their husbands are true believers now. My best friend is an example for this. She married a guy who only prayed Jummah and used to drink alcohol, not ever care about deen. After years of patience and duas now he's a true believer.

                  If you care about your atheist wife, then go ahead, make dua every single day for her and eventually she'll accept Islam.
                  Thats not a good road to take.If she doesnt become muslim,or i die before she becomes muslim then the marriage is null and all of it is considered zinnah...

                  You always find the right articles bro.JazakhAllahu Khair..
                  whoever leaves something for the sake of Allah,Allah will replace it with something better

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Aetos View Post

                    Walaikum assalam sis...good,thanks for asking,i hope you did well in your exam too

                    You are so right,its exactly like that..there is always that disconnection,but i lived 8 years with nonmuslims as a secret muslim so i dont mind living my whole life with it as a freerly practising one....and yes a muslim would def develop and motivate you more,i think the same,would give you a whole dif livestyle tbh,but i guess im "forced" to compromisse...as you said its very hard,i live in a nonmuslim country,with nonmuslims around me,some masjids yes but they are ahmadiyah...my only option is finding her online,but online they are either too good for me or not good for me..so when i meet smn who fits with me in everything,loves me for who i am and is the only person who makes me happy,feels like a one in a lifetime opportunity....its so sad we cant marry them without going against the law of Allah....i guess i should just bear this huge pain and hope it ends soon..

                    Dont forget to make duaa in the last hour before magribh...its jummah today
                    Ahh I missed the last hour before maghrib dua, Allah's qadr, I ask Allah to make me wake up for the last third of the night instead. U will be in my duas in sha Allah

                    P.S. the exam was good mostly but the last question I had to rush and i wasn't able to do a full job for it. Please keep making duas for me
                    وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

                    And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


                    أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

                    Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


                    Please take a look at my travel booking website : https://destinationfindertravel.com/

                    Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I am just offering up my own opinions here on a personal level. I am in my late thirties and haven’t found the right person and I say that on more than a religious level.

                      I am quiet liberal in my religious views and yes I can be more religious and observe more of my faith than I am able to (full time work and part time carer for elderly parents I’m not managing my time well!) but as I am single it’s a different thing. I am looking at this question on a functional level.

                      The issue I would have is if I had married a Christian way back in my twenties and was ok with it back then but now my Christian partner is taking the kids to church while i am trying to squeeze in Quran study time - that would be an issue.

                      I could never ask a person to convert as how would it be if the tables were turned and they expected me to? Down the road you have an death in the family how does that work if they are mourning a non Muslim relative?

                      Why allow your kids to have conflicting faiths? Life is tough enough..

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Aetos View Post
                        Apparently marriage with an atheist is null....

                        That's correct understanding based on following verse from Quran:

                        "Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of Bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise. " (Al-Baqarah 2:221)
                        Originally posted by Aetos View Post
                        As far as i know the ayahs and hadiths stop the marriage with idoltress.....if they match in everything except religion but she respects the fact he is a practising muslim,and talking to children about religion,i dont think its a big problem.....after all atheists and christians these days are almost the same,cuz christians in the time of the prophet saws were totally diff than today....so why is that we cant marry atheists?....
                        Now I can see why you are getting confused. It is right that most people who call themselves Christians or Jews are not better than atheists in our time. Islam does allow marriage to Christian and Jew women based on (Quran 5:4) but there are certain conditions which are:
                        1. Muslim men can only marry Christian or Jewish women.
                        2. Non-Muslim women with whom one wants to marry shall be chaste. This means that they shall be in no relationship before wedding with anyone including the Muslim men who want to marry them.
                        3. Non-Muslim women shall be practicing their religion. For example if the woman is a Christian, then she shall be one who goes regularly to church.
                        4. Ibn Abbas also imposed one more condition that is these non-Muslim women shall be living in the Islamic state or country. If a women lives in non Islamic country then Muslim men can't marry them. This is also the view of Imam Malik.
                        If one follows 4 conditions above, it is impossible for Muslim men to marry non-Muslim women in our time and age.
                        It may have been possible probably a century ago because Christian and Jewish women back then used to protect their virginity before getting married. Now it is common in Western countries to have many relationships before one gets married and finding a virgin non-Muslim girl is almost impossible. It is also a fact that many Jewish and Christian women are Jew or Christian because they are born in a Jewish/Christian family. Most people in the West don't believe in God. There are some who do but to them life after death does not make sense. So one way or the other most people in the West are Jews or Christian only by name.
                        What I said above is based on my understand after listening some lecture on this topic from Sheikh Yasir Qadhi and Sheikh Saleh. Below are link to some videos which explain what I said above in more detail.



                        I like the fact that Sheikh Saleh has taken a more careful approach in giving his advice.
                        And Allah knows best!
                        Ma'a Salama
                        Last edited by Habib Urrehman; 10-01-20, 09:29 PM.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          It's the other way round lol. As you say atheists and Christians are pretty much the same thing these days so these type of "Christians" would not be marriage material. Maybe those regular church going ones who follow the laws. But then I dont think that type would marry a muslim guy..but you never know.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Can I marry a aeroplane
                            Last edited by Maub77; 10-01-20, 11:11 PM.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Habib Urrehman View Post

                              That's correct understanding based on following verse from Quran:


                              [/LEFT]
                              Now I can see why you are getting confused. It is right that most people who call themselves Christians or Jews are not better than atheists in our time. Islam does allow marriage to Christian and Jew women based on (Quran 5:4) but there are certain conditions which are:
                              1. Muslim men can only marry Christian or Jewish women.
                              2. Non-Muslim women with whom one wants to marry shall be chaste. This means that they shall be in no relationship before wedding with anyone including the Muslim men who want to marry them.
                              3. Non-Muslim women shall be practicing their religion. For example if the woman is a Christian, then she shall be one who goes regularly to church.
                              4. Ibn Abbas also imposed one more condition that is these non-Muslim women shall be living in the Islamic state or country. If a women lives in non Islamic country then Muslim men can't marry them. This is also the view of Imam Malik.
                              If one follows 4 conditions above, it is impossible for Muslim men to marry non-Muslim women in our time and age.
                              It may have been possible probably a century ago because Christian and Jewish women back then used to protect their virginity before getting married. Now it is common in Western countries to have many relationships before one gets married and finding a virgin non-Muslim girl is almost impossible. It is also a fact that many Jewish and Christian women are Jew or Christian because they are born in a Jewish/Christian family. Most people in the West don't believe in God. There are some who do but to them life after death does not make sense. So one way or the other most people in the West are Jews or Christian only by name.
                              What I said above is based on my understand after listening some lecture on this topic from Sheikh Yasir Qadhi and Sheikh Saleh. Below are link to some videos which explain what I said above in more detail.



                              I like the fact that Sheikh Saleh has taken a more careful approach in giving his advice.
                              And Allah knows best!
                              Ma'a Salama
                              I liked how you explained the christian thing Habib,jzk khair
                              whoever leaves something for the sake of Allah,Allah will replace it with something better

                              Comment

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